Ask the Affinity Angel

One of Bayonetta's most reoccurring enemies answers all of your questions. We also rp, draw cute things, and tell bad jokes. All are welcome!

[askaffinity]

Hate to say this, but I think I see Fearless scratching your couch. He also seems to be howling to you for his nom-noms.

"What do you-" Bazel was interrupted by a loud wail from the Fearless sitting on what remained of his sofa. 

"No!" He responded. "Why do you keep coming here?! I don’t have anything for you!" 

The Fearless tilted its head in confusion and gave a soft whine. 

Bazel sighed and gave the other angel a few marshmallows. “Fine… you big spoiled mongrel.” 

[askaffinity]

How do you heal your wounds from a battle? Do you got some healing pools or something to patch you up good?

"That’s exactly what we do!" Bazel exclaims, pulling back a curtain to reveal a field of hot springs full of wounded angels, all bathing to help regenerate their broken bodies. 

"How rude!" One of them cries. "This is a bathing area, and you’re giving people a tour?! We’re all naked!" 

"Sorry…" Bazel says sheepishly. "But, you know… they asked. And it’s not like we wear much when we’re out walking around."

A joy nearby piped in with their response. “It’s true! I once got away with being completely naked for a week!” 

[askaffinity]

A present shows on your doorstep. It comes in the form of a rose decoration carved from onyx. The sender didn't leave a name. Secret admirer?

Bazel holds the beautiful floral decoration up to the sunlight and watches it glisten. 

"What a lovely gift! But no sender…?" He says to himself, examining the package the item came in. 

A voice in the back of his mind interrupts his thoughts. “It’s obviously a trap! Black roses are one of the trademarks of witches! You know this! Destroy the petty trinket!” 

Bazel sighs irritably. “Honestly… you ruin everything. It’s a gift. A lovely gift.”

"Better to be safe than sorry…" His conscious murmurs. "It’s very nice, though. At least you’ll be killed by a pretty weapon."

"I concur." Bazel smiled to himself, placing the rose on his nightstand. 

[skyward-boggs-deactivated201412]

Bazel, what the fuck did you do to get on Santa’s bad side?

askaffinity

[askaffinity]

... Don't ask. 

[askaffinity]

A demon sneaks up from behind you and mounts an arrow in your direction. By the time you turn around and realize it, it's too late. The arrow is already in the air and you brace for it, but it never comes. You see that one of your friends jumped in front of you at the last second and took the shot. You are unharmed.

Time seemed to slow for Bazel. 

He was staring death in the face, and he was rooted to the spot. throughout the chaos and madness around him, he could see the deadly arrow shooting on a dead-set path towards him. He sent a silent prayer to Jubileus that his brethren would remember the deeds he had done. 

Just as Bazel was ready to accept (for the second time) the sweet embrace of Death, he was roughly knocked to the side. After hitting the ground rather roughly and scrambling to his feet, he saw that it was one of his friends that had saved him.

"Was" being the key term. 

Bazel was grieved and elated at the same time. He had known his friend had told him that they would watch over him in battle, but he didn’t expect them to take a demonic arrow for him in the heat of combat. He spent a moment to kneel by their side and send a prayer of safekeeping to Jubileus. They deserved eternal bliss for everything they had done. 

Getting to his feet, Bazel retrieved his fallen friend’s halo and put it around his wrist for safekeeping. He would be damned if those foul heathens got their hands on the remains of his friend. 

He picked up his fallen staff (knocked out of his hands when he was saved) and scanned the masses of warriors around him for the demon who had shot the arrow. 

He would make sure this was the last battle they took part in. 

[askaffinity]

What do you think of a Beloved having feelings for a human child?

Well, Beloveds are rather fond of children as a whole… something about the cuteness and innocence putting them under some kind of metaphorical spell.  I’ve never heard of one of them turning out to be a pedophile, though… It’s a disturbing thought. 

[askaffinity]

*puts a mirror next to you*

Why hello there, handsome. 

[askaffinity]

Is it true, much like Seals and Penguins, …Do demons often rape angels?

Well we only have mouths… no reproductive organs or holes for waste. And I strongly doubt that a demon would want to put anything in a mouth full of sharp, heavenly teeth.

However I would imagine that an assault could occur when one of our weaker ranks are overpowered and the demons feel like playing with them before they kill them.

[askaffinity]

Actually, Ein and the other angels of the Riviera game, ones shown ingame actually, are best described as humans with black angelic wings. Their known as Grim Angels and they do defeat demons, although it seems they obviously aren't respected as good of heart when heard by the fairies who found Ein's unconsciousness body still alright and saying that anyone without a good heart will die. Turns out Ein is the only angel with good judgment, because of you playing as him.

That’s… slightly insulting. I know plenty of angels with good judgement. 

[askaffinity]

You know, Mt. Fimbulventr is known for angels and demons working side by side, at least when it comes to intruders.

That’s an equally horrifying and effective method of protecting the sacred mountain. 

I imagine there’s a lot of “accidental” damage being dealt to each group, though… 

[askaffinity]

Black Friday is one of the greatest and most chaotic shopping frenzies known to humanity. It is named so because of how people are willing to do anything to get what they want while paying as little as they're allowed. It's so intense that only a select few shoppers make it through without ANY marks.

… modern-day humans are terrifying. 

[askaffinity]

All the demons laughed as you struggled from fright. "Shut up!" Hatred roared to his underlings, to which they promptly did. The demon turned back to you and yanked down his tail holding your wrists, forcing you to lie on your back. "But really," he purred and began caressing your torso, "we only gave him to Butterfly because he was like: Please! I'll do anything!" He began 'tasting' your waist and chest. "Besides, if she wants something, that witch of hers can get it for her."

Bazel was slightly disoriented from being tossed to the floor, and blindly kicked his legs in an effort to regain some control over the situation. The claws gently brushing against his body only elevated his panic, and he stilled for a moment in order to think of an escape plan. 

He soon regretted his moment of stillness when the Hatred’s tongue graced the surface of his chest. He was paralyzed for a few moments due to how absolutely revolted he was. He listened to the Hatred speak of how Bayonetta could snap him up for Madama Butterfly, and he silently wished she would. She would undoubtably smell better than the demons surrounding him… He would have to bathe for days to get the foul stench off his skin. On the topic of smell, an odd thought popped into Bazel’s head. 

"… Do you actually like the taste of rosemary?”

[askaffinity]

If you watch the movie Rush Hour 3, there's a part in which 2 men get beaten up by a giant in a karate school. Now, if a Beloved thought that was a good idea...

No!! No, don’t give them ideas! Honestly, we all suffer enough already from their reckless battle tactics… 

[askaffinity]

Bayonetta was due to Balder falling in love with a witch. Did you think the witch wanted Balder to fall for her? Do you think she tricked him into...you know?

As much as I’d like to believe that the horrible witch tricked Balder into, uh… intimacy, I think he’s too bright to fall for any of that. 

Sadly, I think he just fell in love with the wrong person. 

[askaffinity]

"Are you a Nobody?" Naminé questioned with a tilted head to her left as she noticed the strange, bird-like creature with marble skin and gilded armor standing before her. The golden staff with a sun-like tip it wielded in its right claw and the robes it wore just intrigued her more with wonder.

"A nobody? Certainly not! I am an angel." Bazel straightens his posture and gently flaps his wings to accentuate his title.

He observes the girl for a moment, then eyes her with slight suspicion. Most non-angels who could see him usually didn’t want to keep him alive for very long.

 ”Who might you be? And how are you able to see me?”

[memory-manipulater]

  "That’s the organ, I’m talking about the metaphysical heart," Naminé affirmed him. "It’s the one that actually holds your emotions, memories, will, goals, and ambitions, along with light and darkness, and it actually looks like those hearts seen on Valentine’s Day cards. And I know it sounds strange to you, but it does exist."

A beat.

"You’re obviously wondering what does that have to do with Roxas, yes?"

[askaffinity]

"Ahh, metaphysics." Bazel nodded. "I see. I think I'm starting to understand this a bit better, but go on. This Roxas ties into all this by...?" 

He awaited her response. 

[askaffinity]

Have you played "Shadow of the Colossus?"

Afraid not.

[askaffinity]

Do you know about Sapientia's involvement with Moses?

We all know. You can’t invite him to an Alfheim party without him blathering on and on about how he saved all those Israelites and how much praise he got, and blah blah blah…