[ An askblog following the story of a (mostly) pre-Starline Surge the Tenrec, in an AU diverging from canon at Sonic IDW #36 ]
[ written by nova, 25+. Icon by @polybiiuss ]
An interactive askblog centering Ashura the Tenrec, an interpretation of pre-Starline Surge based in an AU diverging from canon at Sonic IDW #36 (White Park). Written by Nova, 25+.
Several triggers will be present on this blog, mostly matching those from Impostor Syndrome with the addition of harm to children. More info in BYF
All are welcome to interact with an incredibly confused tenrec's social media
I understand. I'd like answers, too! The two of you have been through so much already, and it's not fair that some freak did all of that to you!
I think it'd be a good idea to see what the Restoration might be able to do to help, be it answers to who did this, and possibly stop whoever it was and prevent it from happening again!
Since that IS where you said you might be going next, right? -🐟
Thanks...Right...you're right. Gah, I'm trying to be calm because I'm worried if I freak out Aoi's going to too!
Our main nurse said he had contacts so he'd try and get in contact for us, and even if that doesn't work we should be out in a few days. More of a reason not to do that surgery...I feel like we can't afford to wait
Does this mean you may have to go in for some sort of surgery so they can see what it all is? -🐟
they said they could, but nothing about our actual vitals is concerning so they don't have to
I. Don't know if I even want to know. I'm just scared. Who did this to us? why? what else was there? I've never been much of anybody, I'm not special. Aoi's probably a teenager!
Ashura and the fennec share the same unsettling nightmare.
HOME // ASK // BYF // WHAT WE KNOW SO FAR
~~~
Ashura doesn't know if she's awake or asleep. She's not sure it matters.
Her eyes might be open or closed, but she certainly can't do anything with them either way, stuck staring up at a little red light that may or may not even exist.
And someone is speaking, very close to her.
The voice itself is reedy, but assertive. The tone remains ever calm and steady, almost soothing, but there's an insistence in the words, and something about it makes her stomach churn with terror. As for what it says…Ashura knows it's not speaking a foreign language, but the words simply don't want to stick in her mind, leaving them as meaningless noise. The best she can tell is that the voice always comes back to the same phrase, over and over again. It's probably important. Whatever it is.
She wants to run away. She wants to panic, to scream, but her body won't let her, remaining asleep—or not asleep?—exactly how she is. Her limbs are too weak and heavy to even consider moving, no matter how hard she tries, and a massive weight presses down on her chest, compressing her lungs.
There's nothing she can do. There's no way she can escape. How many times has she been here? Is it still worth fighting?
Another voice suddenly cuts through, further away but louder, realer. Ashura can't tell what it's saying, either, but she grabs it like a lifeline in the ocean, reminding her which way is up, pulling herself back to the surface—
Ashura sits up in the hospital bed with a desperate, heaving gasp, curling forward into herself as her eyes sting with tears she can't place.
The only light in the room comes from a crack underneath the door, barely spreading an inch before disappearing. Devices monitoring her vitals blink red and green and yellow, but not enough to see by. She can only make out vague shapes—a TV, a chair in the corner, a curtain to her left…
"S—Surge?"
The voice is small, coming from the other side of the curtain. Ashura flinches, sitting up properly. "…That you, kid?"
"Mhm."
Again with Surge.
The fennec had flown into a meltdown when the nurses had tried to separate them, only calming down when Ashura had agreed to share the hospital room with him. When she'd asked him why he seemed so attached to her, he'd mumbled something about how he "lived to protect Surge", but when she'd tried to pry on what that meant, he'd gotten increasingly agitated until he'd shut down completely. He'd called her that name a few more times by now, and she's still no clearer on why.
It's better than he is with the doctors, though. Through every test and attempt at conversation. the kid hadn't said a word to anyone besides Ashura. Were you to look at him, you might wonder if he was even present for most of it, the way his eyes wouldn't focus and how he stared past everyone at something only he could see. He didn't struggle or complain, he did what was asked of him, but absolutely nothing more, like an empty shell.
"Did…you wake me up just now?" Ashura asks the curtain.
"S-should I not have?"
"No, it's—thanks." Ashura lets out a long sigh, stretching her arms forward as best she can without tugging on her IV line. "That was some weird nightmare."
She calls it a nightmare, but she's still not sure she'd even been asleep when it had happened. Was that what people call 'sleep paralysis'? She doesn't think she's ever experienced it before, and can't say she's eager to do it again anytime soon.
"…do you hear him, too?"
His voice is so small the curtain almost muffles it completely. Ashura stiffens. "Him?"
"Th—the voice. I don't know who it is. I-I hear it a lot."
"I heard…a voice?"
"It's close. And you don't know what he's saying. Right?"
Ashura sucks in a sharp breath. "Do you know who he is?"
"N-no." She hears the blankets on the other bed rustle. "I'm sorry…"
Why would the fennec be having the same nightmare? Even with her memories slowly piecing themselves back together, the fennec isn't in any of them, so she can't exactly chalk it up to a shared scary movie. From what she can tell, she'd barely had friends her own age, let alone one younger than her.
"…M-may I ask you something…?"
Ashura doesn't really think before responding. "Shoot."
"Who's Sonic? And why do you hate him so much?"
Ashura's brain short-circuits.
She wonders if she's wearing an expression like his, now, staring past the wall and trying to get the gears in her head to start turning again. "Why…would you ask that?" Ashura hopes her voice isn't as shaky as it sounds.
"I-I'm sorry!" The fennec squeaks, and there's another rustle.
"No, I actually want to know why."
"Um…" His voice is muffled, now, likely underneath the blankets. "You…you were talking. The same thing over and over. How you hate Sonic and want to destroy him…?"
The room feels very cold all of a sudden. Ashura yanks the blanket up to her chin with her free hand before burying both of her arms under it, but even that doesn't stop the sudden shivering. She hadn't thought she'd been talking.
"…Sonic the Hedgehog. And I don't…I don't hate him." At least thinking about it begins to shake some things loose in her head. "Actually, I'm…kind of a big fan. He's a hero. I've been following what he does since I was younger. It's not easy to get pictures of him, but he started talking to the media more recently, and he's…he's amazing."
"He is?"
"He's always helping people, wherever he goes, like it's the easiest thing ever. He's, like, the walking personification of hope. Always telling people to chase freedom, to do the right thing…He's got an attitude, but that makes him even cooler, he's always styling on his enemies and it's awesome!" Maybe Ashura's talking too fast, but the words spill out even as she recalls them, and she doesn't think she could herself if she wanted to. "He was the one always beating back Eggman, ever since he showed up. When the war happened he went missing, a lot of people thought he was dead, but nope, he just came right back and saved our asses at the last second!"
"Th-the war," the fennec says, distantly. "I think I remember the war."
"Sonic, he…he inspired me to start running, because I wanted to be as fast as him." A grim spreads across her face. "I wanted to race him someday! Sure, winning would be a stretch, but he made me want to try. And…"
Ashura cuts herself off as the rest falls in place, her expression dropping as her shoulders slump.
He'd inspired her to chase her own freedom, too. She can't say she regrets it, but she'd been alone in the world ever since.
Maybe that's why no one had come to find her.
"So why do you want to destroy him?" It sounds as if the fennec had removed his head from the blankets, at least.
"I told you, I don't. I freak out when people argue, there's no way I could destroy anything." Ashura squeezes her eyes shut, leaning back on her pillows. "It was...probably just something from the nightmare."
She wishes she believed her own words more. But something about the idea of hating him resonates in a way that makes her ill. It's not right. It's not her.
"...you okay?"
"I'll be fine." She's not sure if she's lying or not. "You should go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you up."
"If you say so," he mumbles, and she hears him settle back into bed.
There's no further sound beyond the whirr and beep of machinery and Ashura's own breathing, too loud in her ears. She'd certainly just answered some questions about herself, but she'd been given a million more regarding recent events. As much as she tries, she still can't figure out how she got on that Eggman base, or what happened over the…months she'd apparently been there.
The months she'd supposedly been in and out of stasis. Which should've left her too weak to run. Let alone at least ten miles carrying a fox on her back.
The more she finds out, the less sense any of it makes. Her finger drums restlessly on the bed, and her ears flick with something unheard.
She opens her eyes. There's a smoke detector above her, its presence indicated only by a little red light.
Ashura does not sleep again that night.
~~~
The fennec's voice rouses her again the following night, though it's not nearly as loud. In fact, as Ashura blinks her eyes open and shakes her head to try and clear it, it's barely a whisper through the curtain separating them.
"Kid? Are you awake?"
He doesn't answer. He doesn't even stop speaking, immediately raising Ashura's quills in alarm and knocking the last bit of sleep out of her.
The doctors had decided their vitals were stable enough to stop monitoring, meaning Ashura's now connected to significantly less things. They're still giving her medicine and nutrients by IV while she recovers her ability to eat real food again, so she's cautious of the line in her hand as she rolls out of bed, testing her legs before putting weight on them.
They hold, even if they shouldn't.
She reaches out half-blindly until she finds the stand holding the IV bag, pulling it behind her with as she walks around the bed. With only a hint of dread and hesitation, she throws back the curtain
It's difficult to see in the dark, but she can make out a tiny figure curled up in a ball, one hand covering its eyes. The fennec's sheets are tangled and tossed to the side, and she can see that he's trembling, violently.
"Kid?"
He doesn't stop, and now she can hear the words, muttered frantically under his breath. "…protect Surge do anything live for Surge I'd do anything for…"
Ashura's stomach drops.
Before she can think, she reaches out with her good hand, touching the fox's shoulder. "Kid!"
The fox cries out and flinches as his eyes fly open. Tears shine in the corners. "What?" he says blearily. "Su—"
"Ashura," Ashura reminds him.
"R-right, Ashura, I-I'm so sorry, I—"
"Breathe, okay?" Ashura's not sure if that's the right thing to say to him, but she remembers seeing it a lot on TV. "You're safe."
The fennec whimpers, and Ashura feels like her heart's being squeezed. He'd said he was older than he looked, but how old is that? Definitely younger than her. A teenager? Too young for whatever this is.
"…Was it the dream again?"
"Yeah."
So that must've been how she'd been talking, except with her miniature tirade about someone who should be her hero.
The fennec tries to apologize again, though Ashura doesn't know for what.
His voice breaks midway through.
Ashura makes an impulsive decision.
"Hey. Give me your hand. The one the needle's in."
The fox turns his head to stare at her, but offers his own right hand.
"Now scoot."
"Huh?"
Ashura doesn't respond, focused on climbing into his bed without yanking either of their lines out. The positioning is a little awkward, but he's so small that there's more than enough room for her once he moves over.
She has to keep their right hands held over their heads, but she's able to scoot in close to him. The moment she does, the fennec throws his other arm around her, burying his face in her hospital gown.
Ashura hesitantly pets the blue fur on his head. She can feel him shaking against her, but she can also feel when that shaking starts to still, when his breathing stops hitching.
Now she wants to apologize. Maybe this gesture will get it across for her.
After a long silence, he mumbles something into her chest she can't quite hear. "What was that?"
The fennec pulls his head away, just enough to look up at her.
"…Aoi."
"What?" Ashura blinks. "Is that your name?"
He nods, faintly. "I'd forgot."
Ashura supposes it had taken her a good few seconds to remember her own name when the bat had asked. If he really had gotten whatever had happened to them worse than she did, it makes sense he'd take longer to figure it out.
"Aoi," Ashura repeats. "I like it. It's nice to meet you, Aoi. I'm Ashura."
"I know…I know you are." Aoi returns his forehead to her chest, grip tightening on her side. "I—I don't know who Surge is. I don't even know if she's real. She's just…all I know. S-so when I saw you in that place with me, I thought you had to be her…"
"Do you remember anything else?"
"No. I…don't even know if I'm awake or asleep a lot of the time. It's like I'm somewhere else."
Dissociating, the doctors had called it. They'd said it was from shock, but Ashura's starting to think there's more to it.
"That's okay." She's still not sure if she's saying the right words for the situation, but it's better than saying nothing at all. Her mind trails back to Sonic's interviews, the accounts of him speaking to frightened survivors. What would he say? "It's okay because…because we're gonna figure all this out, yeah? The two of us, together."
Aoi sniffles. "Really?"
"Absolutely." She has to believe it, because Sonic would. Ashura holds him tighter against her. "Just you and me, kid."
"Just you and me," he echoes, snuggling in close like he wants to absorb himself into her.
It's a while before she feels him finally fall asleep again. Ashura ends up dozing herself before the door opens, the nurse having arrived to replace their IV bags. He raises an eyebrow when he sees the two of them, but Ashura quickly shushes him, not wanting to speak and disturb Aoi.
To his credit, the nurse does not ask her to return to her own bed.
Definitely stress if you're saying stuff like that! We love Sonic just as much, to say that, you'd have to messed up in the head bad by SOMETHING in order to actually think that!
I KNOWWWW I know...
he told me that was it and it was like he poked something in my brain because my first thought was "oh of course it was that"
the thing is too, I'm remembering I don't even like arguing with people, let alone fighting, let alone "destroying". It was kind of a big thing with me before all this
...okay, you gotta understand, this was just some weird nightmare. Like, those don't have to make any sense! Or mean anything!
aaaaa
it was something about how i hated sonic and wanted to destroy him
WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE. I already said on here that I've always been a huge fan! He wasn't even INVOLVED in the weird nightmare!!! I have no idea where the hell I could've gotten this from but I triple-checked with the fox and he said yeah that was definitely it and there's no reason he'd lie to me about it
Jeez, I hope you're okay! That sounds like one nasty nightmare!
I'm fine now, thanks
It's kinda funny, it doesn't sound that bad when I write it out but I promise whatever it was I was losing it
I think it's the talking in my sleep that still bugs me. He said I was saying something coherent, but...it doesn't make any sense. Is that usually how talking in your sleep works? I don't think I've ever done it before
haha okay I think I might actually be in a horror movie now
last night I had this dream, I don't actually know if it was a dream or sleep paralysis or something? but there was a voice really close to me and I don't think I recognized it but I know it made me feel terrified, and I couldn't get away from it because my body wouldn't move. I don't remember what it was saying but I know it kept coming back to the same thing over and over again
the fox kid woke me up. he said I was talking in my sleep
