(Betty kissed her every few seconds.)
"You're my world."
- @askbettyhapshitwilltravel
You’re my universe.
Amaranth was sleepy and small.
Bath time?
"You want a bath? Nice and warm?"
Amaranth nodded.
Nice and warm and toasty.
(Betty carried Amaranth to the bathroom and drew a bath for them.)
"My perfect lady..."
Amaranth climbed in, sitting down and beckoning Betty in with her. She was acting all meek like she did when she was small.
(Betty climbed in.)
"Are you feeling alright?"
Mhm. Why?
"You're acting like you did when you got out of liver surgery. Like you're 20 again."
Oh, I’m sorry. That was very weird.
I know I’m fifty-three. I promise. I just feel weird.
"It's alright.
(Betty couldn't get the thought out of her mind now and it was driving her a bit insane.)
Can you squeeze me tight? Actually, what do you need?"
Amaranth squeezed.
Baby me. Please.
"How, exactly?"
How you usually do.
"Like? I'm struggling to remember."
Just forget about it, my love.
"I'm sorry, baby... I really am."
Don’t be. I need to act my age.
"You don't. Not with me.
I'm so tired... I put that machine in my drawer for safe keeping."
Good. She was good to make it for you, hm?
"I suppose. I would like to.. test it in very safe controlled environment before we do anything more, though. It's a frightening idea."
TW WEIRD
It is. She said it’ll spray you with a special coating to protect you from my stomach acid.
"Yep! Nope! Not! Yep! Let's not!"
Alright. We don’t have to.
"I like it in my head but the second I actually think about doing it I'm filled with a looming sense of dread."
I get it. It’s frightening. I love you.
"I don't think I would be able to look you in the eye again..."
No, I get it.
"You would be disgusted by me."
I wouldn’t. You put up with all my weirdness.
"You're less weird..."
Some of the thoughts I have… You’d be horrified.
WEIRD
"You want to be so big you can't fit through doors, you want me to be over 1000 pounds if that was possible...
I fantasize about you eating me whole and alive. We are not on the same level."
Amaranth sighed. She got up and out of the tub, drying off and changing into a nightgown. Once back in bed she laid down pathetically.
Swaddle me.
(Betty did so.)
"It's not a competition! It's just true! I am more of a freak than you!"
Sometimes I fantasise about you humiliating me in public!
"Amaranth, I have forced you to bite me and pretend to suck my blood in public before so everyone could see I was yours!"
Would you humiliate me in public?
"I would."
Tomorrow.
"Alright. I'll call you a dirty slut."
A dirty, fat slut.
"Yes, I will call you fat in public."
What a dream.
"Lay on top of me? Please?"
She wriggled on top of her, still swaddled.
Let me know if you can’t breathe.
"I can breathe fine...
You're so amazing, Anthy."
I love you. Sorry for crying earlier.
"It's alright...
This is all I need. To be squeezed."
I love you. I’m sorry that I’m like this. I think I might have something other than autism.
"Like something I have?"
Maybe.
"Maybe you have bipolar..."
I think I have what my daughter has.
Yes. I break down so easily.
"Maybe... Anthy, I'd love you no matter what."
There isn’t a cure.
Amaranth sighed.
"I have it too. I know."