Ask Commander Reich

A blog where anyone of any walk of life regardless of race, sexuality, or social stigma can ask politically incorrect questions without reprisal to a psychopathic, dictatorial, fascist and slightly German-accented madman. Replies to said questions may be biased to you based on your race, sexuality or social stigma or any combination thereof.

[askcommanderreichpolincorrct]

What is your favorite time in history?

1939, when the world was juuuuust Reich.

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Should consumers buy items from countries that endorse child labor?

Most definitely. In fact, send your children there

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If you could make anything what would it be?

Panzers. Or space panzers.

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Has a child ever thought you a valuable lesson?

They always think I am a valuable lesson. The last one they ever learn in fact.

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In a zombie apocalypse situation what would your game plan be?

Gather a group of meatsh-people. Assemble militia. Arm militia. Proceed to genocide and burn the unclean.

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If you had a charity organization what would it be for and, what would it be called

What is “charity”?

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Hello Reich my brother just got a new girlfriend and her hudge nose that takes up her entire face makes be want to hit her, also she seems very snobby. I want to get get rid of her what should I do?

Send a love letter to her written by your brother. Send her to a nice, scenic, secluded place. The higher in elevation the better. The quickly cover the mouth while slicing across the voice box. Push. Problem solved

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Commander Reich, would you ever have a child of your own?

No, absolutely not. All claims on my position are dangerous things. I’ve killed enough children to know that.

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Given the choice, would you want to rule in a monarchy or a rebublic? Or possibly a dictator ship?

A ship crafted for a dictator sounds amazing.

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If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?

Reich is perfect in ALL ways.

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Do people who commit horrible crimes deserve the death penalty?

All those who commit crimes against me-THE STATE AND THE VATERLAND desevre the death penalty.

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If you were a teacher what type would you be?

The kind that comes to your home and proceeds to kindly take you and your entire family to concentr-summer camp....for free.

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So commander Reich hows your cocain addiction? also can you please clean up the dead hookers in the enternment camp in the basement next to the Jawa's

There is no such thing as a “cocaine addiction”. I simply can’t/won’t stop using cocaine. If you ask me again, YOU WILL JOIN THOSE WHORES AND VERMIN IN THE DEATH PIT.

[askcommanderreichpolincorrct]

If you got a new pet what would you get?

German Shepherd or Belgian Tervuren. Hands down

[askcommanderreichpolincorrct]

What is your favorite snack?

The correct question would be to ask “who”. The answer is anyone small, frail, and with sensitive skin. Preferably those who have been softened by large amounts of force fed carbs and lack of sunlight who have been unable to use their limbs for long periods of time.

[askcommanderreichpolincorrct]

Should I give A snail cocaine?

No, only contempt. Reserve the cocaine for yourself or for interrogation purposes.

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Are you a therapist?

To some perhaps, but being a grammar Nazi I must point out there is supposed to be a space between “the” and “rapist”.