Jambalaya and Grubsauce

[askeberhardtandco]

Erryone, strangest thing you like to do while pailing and why.

Snap, if I thought something was 'weird,' I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it doing sex. I've been a closet case. I'm glad I'm not anymore.

[askeberhardtandco]

"Kamsya: I don’t know if it’s really accurate to call a thoroughly impossible and longstanding unrequited longing a ‘crush.’" This sounds like there's a story behind it. C'mon, spill!

^\ What is there to say? He was someone I knew in my wigglerhood, and in my first session. /^

^\ We each had feelings for the other that were impossible to return; the quadrant we desired to share with the other was unavailable or impossible to fulfill. /^

^\ He's dead, now. One supposes it doesn't particularly  matter anymore. I remember our time together fondly. /^

[twilit-tales-blog]

Ok before I throw this shit down, you’re gonna have to go and mosey on over and check out the Sburb Glitch FAQ. (I can wait (and so will you))

Do you like videogames? Do you like Homestuck? Do you desperately want to embark on a bildungsroman with your besties and fly the skies of Skaia?

Do...

[askeberhardtandco]

Sweet, more Glitch FAQ derivative work! Thumbs up.

[askeberhardtandco]

Anyone: Do you, by any chance, have a crush?~

Ross: I had a crush. Then I had REMAINING ANSWER REDACTED ON ACCOUNT OF BEING HOPELESSLY SELF-INDULGENT AND 'WOE-IS-ME.'

Kamsya: I don't know if it's really accurate to call a thoroughly impossible and longstanding unrequited longing a 'crush.'

[askeberhardtandco]

What was the strangest thing you've done with shiny modding?

Splintered the shiny of a classic 1908 Ford Model T into a couple hundred fragments of light and hissing smoke, handed them out to a consort village of little iguanas, and taught them how to work assembly lines.

That was the proof-of-concept for what turned out to be a later step in the plan where I taught a different consort village how to work as the pit crew for a tricked-out Prospitian Dreadnaught, after a plague of that weird green stuff that grows on the battlefield went Prognostic Pandemic on us and took out all the Whites.

I think that’s the one that gets the most weird looks.

...Or when I attached a cake's shiny to a river on my Land. It liquefied into a puddle and flowed downstream.

...then I alchemized three more so I could take pictures and upload the video to Pits.

...then I reversed the process and figured out how to turn the liquid of the river into thick, spongy, pastry.

I mean, most people don't even think rivers /have/ souls. Or that you can reach them with an individualistic an Aspect as Heart.

[askeberhardtandco]

Hey Ross, you ever soulfingered yourself so you and Vitt could have a bit more ~fun~?

If I tell you 'No, Vitt's a prude,' you wouldn't believe me.

If I tell you 'Yes,' you're just going to get out that one image macro again. Or that other one.

Replayers are a bunch of filthy perverts with preternatural power over reality. They are, in addition, chronically immature. If you're looking for sordid stories, might I suggest a certain intrepidExtrapolation?

[askeberhardtandco]

So, Ross, I heard frogs in bed does it for you?

…

Why do people still think this joke is funny?

…

No, see, what actually happens when frogs sneak into the bed is the Space player spazzes out and drops everything to put the frog back in the tank and they're scarpering around the room and tripping over the pile of clothes and then the little yellow bastard hops out the window and the mood has been completely killed.

….you think this joke is funny because you wanted to hear me tell that story again, didn’t you?

[askeberhardtandco]

Who was your first?

Dawn: Someone asked, in my second session. I turned her down. Nobody else has. It hasn't really come up?

Kamsya: He was a neighbor that wanted to practice before Drone Season. I scared there was something wrong with me. It was nearly a sweep later, in Pilot's Academy, that I put everything together.

Ross: Cecilia and I were...um. Well. We'd started, we were going to, and...I was pretty nervous, and she said it hurt, and it was awkward. It was really, really, awkward. So we stopped. And we didn't try again right away.

Sean found the ectobiology machine about three weeks later.

[askeberhardtandco]

Best thing about the game?

Sticking my fingers into the underlying nature of reality and getting to see how it all fits together. Meeting and making my family.

[askeberhardtandco]

How awkward is your starting outfit?

Ross: For my first seven sessions, it was brass goggles 'round my neck, a white wifebeater tanktop and a pair of boxers. The first thing I'd do on Earth would be find myself a proper pair of pants.

Violet showed us the 'sew/attach something else to them and it comes with you' trick for adding items to your starting outfit after Founder session, and I found up some ratty old jean cut-offs that fit at the start of pregame 8.

'Cho got me a wardrobifier for Gristmas, though, so 'Classy as Fuck' is now the order of the day.

[askeberhardtandco]

Venpip, people are dumb about our Aspect again. tell them to stop flaming Heart boards ok? thanks -- stagnantAnimus

I'd like to take this moment to remind Stag that asking people to stop flaming you doesn't do shit, and I'd like to also take this moment to point out that a helpful, friendly, Hero of Heart can be your best friend when you'd like to get a clear night's sleep pregame without nightmares.

Or if you'd like to help a corruption case. Or cure a case of Walk-Stab-Walk, or Aggrievance. Or if you'd like to speak Alternian. Or if you'd like to cut a swathe through the battlefield with a scythe forged of your own will. Or if you'd like it to stop hurting like an aching hole in your heart every time you think of how you let them down.

Play nice, children.

[askeberhardtandco]

Against my better judgement, let's do  some IC TMI Tuesday. Or general, IC asks or questions of any kind.

[askeberhardtandco]

A hob asks Ross for advice about sex with humans.

Ross stared at the text on his screen in disbelief.

ventricularPipefitter: And you’re asking me this because…./why/, exactly? plumbDiver: Galefriend Brine pointed me to you.

And before Ross could ask /why/ the hob from his last session would have gotten the idea that he was an authority on interspecies relations—Brine was the only hob he’d ever met, for Frog’s sake!—, the other one posted another message.

plumbDiver: (33:46) plutonianFerment: Try Eberhardt. He hooked up with his human girlfriend during our session. The Founder must have been good, because they were screwing like tree-weasels in heat for most of the session.

…oh.

But the hob who’d contacted him on Ribbit didn’t stop there.

plumbDiver: (33:48) plutonianFerment: Also? Not too xenophobic. plumbDiver: (33:48) plutonianFerment: Eberhardt used to gnash his teeth about his estranged ‘boyfriend’ co-Founder tyrranizing trolls in his IRC. plumbDiver: (33:53) plutonianFerment: He was an *auspistice*.

Oh.

Ross skimmed the Pitspaedia entry on Hob biology one more time. Cloacae. Well. Okay then.

ventricularPipefitter: The most important thing is going to be /communication/. If you two can’t have a conversation about what she (or he?) wants and likes? ventricularPipefitter: Then you two shouldn’t be fucking in the first place.

[askeberhardtandco]

Ross looks at his reward, then turns it down

He deliberated for weeks. It was the one thing anyone ever wanted. To go home. To have rest. He'd have eternity, together, with 'Cho and all the the rest of his session-mates.

He'd be leaving Vitt behind.

He thought about Myra, dying by inches in self-enforced solitude.

He thought about Aelf, full of fire and hurt. About Logica, all alone.

About Cole, crazy and inventive and better than he'd ever let himself believe.

About Snaplock and Ockzel, and the strange relationship he was still coming to understand even as he recognized how much he needed and craved it.

About every time he promised Skye he'd never leave.

It could never be a Reward, if it took him away from so much that he loved, and so many that loved him.

[askeberhardtandco]

A Guardian is always prepared.

You knew this day would come. You’d always known your daughter’s gifts would attract the attention of…others.

That didn’t mean she had any particular obligation to those other people, or their churches, or their plans. Her life was going to be hard enough without someone else reaching in and trying to dictate that what was best for her, was the same as what was best for them.

The clock on the coffee-maker blinked 3:18AM. You filled your thermos, and grabbed the tire-iron you kept by the door on the way out.

It was time to go and have a talk with the local priest. You’d be damned before you let The Church of All Terrors take Ross Marcel Eberhardt’s daughter away.

[askeberhardtandco]

taco night / session meeting

Ross was elated that Spenih showed up early to his spire for the session meeting.

He was even happier when she turned out to be a not-unskilled hand in the kitchen.

It never occurred to him that most people wouldn’t trust this girl enough to hand her a knife, even if it was just for chopping up vegetables.

[askeberhardtandco]

Little bells

“You know,” Ross begins, chewing on the backs of his knuckles in nervousness, “you don’t have to wear them when you’re awake. It was just something for Vi and I to keep you from fwip-ing off into the Ring.”

Spenih regards the bracelet of little silver bells, strung on woven black and blue string.

“She knows that,” Spenih replied, pushing back her hood. Her black eyes crinkled up at the edges in a smile. “But they’re also a gift from you. That’s different.”