Ask Hudson

I'm a one man...errr..dog.. wolf pack. 

[askhudsondog]

Don't worry hudsy, we know you are not on the farm! Those people told us your Mom was gone and look now! They lie to us all the time!

Liars!  All of them!  And you know what they say about liars right?

Thanks for the support, anon.  It’s like they want to kick a dog when he’s down.  I mean who does that?  They do.  THEY DO.

[askhudsondog]

Dudes, this is totally NOT pawesome. You know I should send these guys massive piles of my excrement for spreading lies about me. First off, even if we didn't all know what that euphemism was about... who would think that I, Hudson Keen, would want to live on a farm? I mean for real? I'm alive and very much NOT on a farm. I think for now I'll keep my location a secret. I don't feel safe anymore.

[askhudsondog]

Oh, wow! I'm famous! I made it to that thing called Twitter! Totally pawesome. But, hey let's not forget that this pup is an equal opportunity lover and my unconditional love is for all my two leggers. Sharing this tender moment between my mom and myself. Also, taking autograph requests. Send them care of...crap...hey @nbcblacklist what's my address these days?

[askhudsondog]

Hudson! You're not getting into too much mischief at that party, are you? No more peeing, I hope? Maybe take a nip at Ressler's heels though, see if you can get him to bring you some tasty snacks.

You know, you pee on one briefcase and suddenly you have a reputation.   And don’t tell anyone, but it really doesn’t take a lot to get Donnie to bring me snacks.  He doesn’t show it but he’s a softy when it comes to me.  I mean, just two minutes ago he gave me a half cupcake when no one was looking.  Mind you I stole it off his plate but that’s neither here not there.

[askdonaldressler]

AU: Was this party your idea? Don't lie. I bet it was. We know how much you've missed Liz.

Sure, because having a party at a black site really sounds like something I would plan.

This is a workplace with sensitive classified documents.  And now we have a baby here and I’m pretty sure I saw @askhudsondog peeing in the corner.  I mean, this is a work place not a frat house.

[askhudsondog]

Dude, Donnie.  I tried to tell someone I had to go but no one wanted to pay attention to me and those big yellow doors refused to open for me.  So, a dog’s gotta do what a dog’s gotta do.  On the bright side...I didn’t pee on your briefcase.  Who has the initials HC?  I may need you to help me hide some evidence. I was told by my mom and dad to be on my best behavior and this may not be considered my best.  Help a bro out?

[askhudsondog]

Tom said something about bringing you to their temporary apartment the other day. Did you make it there by Christmas? Did you have a nice, juicy bone waiting?

It was a Christmas Miracle I tell you!  @askthomasvincentkeen swoped in and snagged me away from that old woman. And then he took me to a real groomer and made me look and smell like myself before taking me to see my mom and @askagneskeen.  Oh, she’s cute but her poops smell worse than mine.  The “house” is pretty small. But, I did have a nice big bone to gnaw on.  I love it. So much. I wuf them all. Thanks everyone for being so worried about me and making sure I was with my family for the holidays.

[askhudsondog]

Aww buddy, I am sure your mom and dad and even baby Agnes will come rescue you soon. And pink isn't too bad. I'm sure you look good. Hang in there bud. You can do this. You are Pawsome! 🍖

Hey, anon!  Wishes do come true!  @askthomasvincentkeen came and rescued me!  You are pawsome for being such a great puptalker. You helped keep my spirits up while I waited with your message. Thanks!

[askhudsondog]

Hey buddy, how are you? Is your Christmas list ready? What do you want for Christmas this year? How about a fuzzy yellow ball or doggie ice cream or big bed in the new house?

I suppose I’m ok.  I made a short list this year.  I’d like to get to visit with my family for a bit.  I understand that the currently living situation isn’t ideal and that they are working on it. I give @askthomasvincentkeen a hard time because it’s what I do (and I did learn from @askdonaldressler) but if they could I’d be with them.  I just want to snuggle with my mom and lick my baby sister’s chubby face.

I wouldn’t be opposed to a ball or ice cream..or a bed.  Those all sound very nice too.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Working on it buddy. May even get a side yard like the townhouse had if we can find that one. How does that sound?

[askhudsondog]

Sounds pretty pawesome, dad! 

[askhudsondog]

Hey buddy, how are you? Is your Christmas list ready? What do you want for Christmas this year? How about a fuzzy yellow ball or doggie ice cream or big bed in the new house?

I suppose I’m ok.  I made a short list this year.  I’d like to get to visit with my family for a bit.  I understand that the currently living situation isn’t ideal and that they are working on it. I give @askthomasvincentkeen a hard time because it’s what I do (and I did learn from @askdonaldressler) but if they could I’d be with them.  I just want to snuggle with my mom and lick my baby sister’s chubby face.

I wouldn’t be opposed to a ball or ice cream..or a bed.  Those all sound very nice too.

[askhudsondog]

Huds, did your mommy and daddy take you nice grooming salon to get you manicures or haircut? I'm sure you must need some grooming now. Does bandit need from too?

Do I ever need a grooming!  I know that  I…well let’s not talk about the rumors that have floated around you know about me changing appearances.  But, I’m a bit of shaggy dog.  And I have been on my own. But, like I told @askthomasvincentkeen​, I lied about the “undisclosed location” and I was dognapped by this wretched old woman named Margaret. I thought when I told dad the truth and how she dresses me up in girly dresses and calls me peaches he would come to my rescue, guns blazing.  You know, like he would for @askagneskeen​.  But, here I sit. On the plastic covered couch.  She caught me sneaking out one day to visit bandit.  A man with a truck came by. The truck said “Carl’s Critter Collector”. I haven’t seen Bandit since.  Margaret took me to a “doggy salon” to “cheer me up”.

If you are reading this @askthomasvincentkeen​, I have pink nails now.  PINK NAILS!  My dog tag now reads “Peaches”. I’m wearing a Tutu.  And Bandit is gone forever.  On the plus side. The kibble here is amazing.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

You HAVE to do something about your hair! People are going stir crazy 'cause of your hair.

They’re doing… what? Seriously? It’s hair, people. Not even your hair. My wife is the only one that gets a say on that subject. and I haven’t heard a complaint from her.

[askagneskeen]

Daddy, why don’t people like your hair? I love it. It’s fun to grab and pull on.  Now that I’ve discovered that my hands can grab things and tug, everything is a lot more fun. Like your hair. People are silly.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Yeah… you definitely do. You’re going to need to try not to do that when we get the new place and @askhudsondog moves back in with us, okay?

And people are silly, kiddo. That’s a good life lesson to learn early.

[askagneskeen]

Oh yay, I finally get to meet my doggy! I can’t wait. Can I ride him like a pony?  I think we will be best friends.  

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Uh… he may not be okay with that one, but how about your mom and I get you one of those rocking horses as soon as you’re big enough to ride one? How does that sound?

[akarensilla-deactivated20200218]

What about Bandit? The friend of @askhudsondog ;-)

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Yeah, you get Liz to clear that one and it’s a go. Good luck.

[askhudsondog]

Yes!  If I’m following correctly you and mom are looking for a place and I can finally move out of my “undisclosed location” also known as Old Lady Margaret’s house.  Dad, she dresses me up. Makes me wear frilly dresses and calls me Peaches! PEACHES!!!!!!!  She found me after I left Gina’s and took me in.  I was too embarrassed to tell you the truth.  Bandit lives out back.  When Margaret leaves the house we hang out. I feel like me again.  I can’t leave him behind. But, please tell me there is an end in sight.  PEACHES DAD!

As for the rugrat. Bandit assures me he’s excellent with kids.  I can’t wait to meet her.  Just remind her I’m a dog.  Not a horse.  We do not ride dogs.  And we do not dress them up and call them PEACHES!

[askdonaldressler]

How've you been, #Snugglebearboo? Made that special kevlar yet?

Well, apparently altering my standard issue FBI vest is against protocol.    There’s something about not wanting an Agent running around with #Snugglebearboo on his vest instead of FBI that makes the higher ups cringe.  

[askhudsondog]

Hey, Donnie!  Don’t worry.  Bandit and I have you covered.  After we heard how much you wanted one we got right on it. Even ordered right from the company you use.  Instead of the FBI Velcro we had one specially made.  You like?  It’s the least I could do for an old pal.

What do you think @thesnowflakeanon?  

[askthomasvincentkeen]

That’s awesome, Huds, but I think you should have gotten the nickname in some neon color. That would have made it perfect. What do you say, @askdonaldressler? How are your feelings on bright pink?

Seriously though, man, I would pay good money to see you wear that next time you guys are in a firefight.

[askhudsondog]

Do you like that Dad?  Because Bandit and I got you one too!

We went with the tactical plate carrier for you.  Figured it was more your style.  I can order you both new name velcro thingies (I’m a dog, I don’t know the official name for it - sue me).  Pink for @askdonaldressler.  Neon Purple for you Dad?  Bandit thinks you’d actually like a glittered one. 

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Hey, you know what, bud, do whatever you want. I can count the number of times I’ve actually worn one of those things on one hand. I can’t move nearly as easy in them.

Maybe you should get one too? @thesnowflakeanon, what’s Hudson’s nickname?

[askhudsondog]

I thought you’d say that so we got you this too.  You seem to like ball caps.

[askthomasvincentkeen]

You had that waiting, didn’t you?

[askhudsondog]

Oh, dad, dad, dad...there’s a lot more where that came from. I got my hands on a credit card. I can’t say the name of the person on the card or they may cancel it. Let’s just say Bandit and I have a lot of boxes coming with a lot of personalized clothing and gear coming to our “undisclosed location”. I think you and everyone else are going to be very very pleased with what we got for you.  Christmas came early!

[askdonaldressler]

How've you been, #Snugglebearboo? Made that special kevlar yet?

Well, apparently altering my standard issue FBI vest is against protocol.    There’s something about not wanting an Agent running around with #Snugglebearboo on his vest instead of FBI that makes the higher ups cringe.  

[askhudsondog]

Hey, Donnie!  Don’t worry.  Bandit and I have you covered.  After we heard how much you wanted one we got right on it. Even ordered right from the company you use.  Instead of the FBI Velcro we had one specially made.  You like?  It’s the least I could do for an old pal.

What do you think @thesnowflakeanon?  

[askthomasvincentkeen]

That’s awesome, Huds, but I think you should have gotten the nickname in some neon color. That would have made it perfect. What do you say, @askdonaldressler? How are your feelings on bright pink?

Seriously though, man, I would pay good money to see you wear that next time you guys are in a firefight.

[askhudsondog]

Do you like that Dad?  Because Bandit and I got you one too!

We went with the tactical plate carrier for you.  Figured it was more your style.  I can order you both new name velcro thingies (I’m a dog, I don’t know the official name for it - sue me).  Pink for @askdonaldressler.  Neon Purple for you Dad?  Bandit thinks you’d actually like a glittered one. 

[askthomasvincentkeen]

Hey, you know what, bud, do whatever you want. I can count the number of times I’ve actually worn one of those things on one hand. I can’t move nearly as easy in them.

Maybe you should get one too? @thesnowflakeanon, what’s Hudson’s nickname?

[askhudsondog]

I thought you’d say that so we got you this too.  You seem to like ball caps.

[askdonaldressler]

How've you been, #Snugglebearboo? Made that special kevlar yet?

Well, apparently altering my standard issue FBI vest is against protocol.    There’s something about not wanting an Agent running around with #Snugglebearboo on his vest instead of FBI that makes the higher ups cringe.  

[askhudsondog]

Hey, Donnie!  Don’t worry.  Bandit and I have you covered.  After we heard how much you wanted one we got right on it. Even ordered right from the company you use.  Instead of the FBI Velcro we had one specially made.  You like?  It’s the least I could do for an old pal.

What do you think @thesnowflakeanon?  

[askthomasvincentkeen]

That’s awesome, Huds, but I think you should have gotten the nickname in some neon color. That would have made it perfect. What do you say, @askdonaldressler? How are your feelings on bright pink?

Seriously though, man, I would pay good money to see you wear that next time you guys are in a firefight.

[askhudsondog]

Do you like that Dad?  Because Bandit and I got you one too!

We went with the tactical plate carrier for you.  Figured it was more your style.  I can order you both new name velcro thingies (I’m a dog, I don’t know the official name for it - sue me).  Pink for @askdonaldressler.  Neon Purple for you Dad?  Bandit thinks you’d actually like a glittered one. 

[askdonaldressler]

How've you been, #Snugglebearboo? Made that special kevlar yet?

Well, apparently altering my standard issue FBI vest is against protocol.    There’s something about not wanting an Agent running around with #Snugglebearboo on his vest instead of FBI that makes the higher ups cringe.  

[askhudsondog]

Hey, Donnie!  Don’t worry.  Bandit and I have you covered.  After we heard how much you wanted one we got right on it. Even ordered right from the company you use.  Instead of the FBI Velcro we had one specially made.  You like?  It’s the least I could do for an old pal.

What do you think @thesnowflakeanon?  

[askhudsondog]

So from what I’m hearing...

This might not be the best costume to wear around the Bachelor Pad?

Donnie, man.  You could have just brought it home for me to pee on.  Sheesh.

[askdonaldressler]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME HUDS?!? IT WAS JUST AN UGLY GNOME, get over it pepole

[askhudsondog]

An ugly gnome to you but a wonderful thing to pee on for me.  It’s all in the eye of the beholder, Donnie!

[askhudsondog]

@coopers-blacklist-gnome I thought I’d share this with you from a while back when I stayed with Donnie when my mom was on the run.  Ohhh, man. Donnie was so mad at me for this one.  It was after your untimely death. I’m also sorry I made a joke about peeing on you...and about you getting to kicked to pieces. Also, I apologize for Donnie who called you ugly. He was under a lot of stress. And, I’m a dog. I’ll pee on pretty much anything.  But, pretty much I wanted to say...I’m sorry to you and all your gnomely friends I’ve peed on in my lifetime.

[askhudsondog]

Hudson buddy, couldn't you have gotten a friend like goldfish or something? Bandit looks scary. Plus if you get a goldfish friend Agnes will like him too.

Bandit is not scary. Is he is my son!  Who really knows what Agnes will like. She could like Bandit. We don’t know at this point.  We don’t know because well, Agnes is who knows where with that weirdo who claims to be mom’s dad.  So, for now, I’m keeping Bandit.

I think that @akarensilla will back me up on this if anyone else tries to talk me out of it again.  Right?

[akarensilla-deactivated20200218]

Hello @askhudsondog Bandit is more than your friend…I know..you have been so lonely, facing the world of spies of your dad and mom, it is normal to want peace and develop your desire for parenthood. Bandit is your kid, but you have to recognize that he is very naughty, a little unpredictable…sorry..you can stay with Bandit, but he must remain in the yard, for the safety of the family. only you can be in the house :) Sorry, I have not sent money, when I find a western union I will do, and also send gifts for you guys, a house like this for Bandit and a ball for you, I hope @askthomasvincentkeen could play with you.Take care !

[askhudsondog]

You are the best @akarensilla.  I can always count on your support.  I actually worked out a little barter deal with the vet for Bandit’s care. Don’t ask. It’s best if no one knows the deal we worked out.  I’ve learned a few things in my travels. But, a house like that for him looks wonderful!  Maybe people would warm up to him after awhile.  

Once baby Agnes is found and home safe we will all have a ball, pardon the pun, will that ball you send my friend!