The Spiritual Diaries

all my life ive had a sixth sense so now im going to share my experiences. :)

[bimboid]

[askjadeeldataylor]

I just fucking died XD 

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

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hahaha basically 

[memescomedy]

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Lost Loyalty, Forgotten Values.

 Over the time of our life, We explore amongst experiences and feelings with different individuals. One feeling we most often feel lately is heartbreak and betrayal (excluding those content in their current situation), this has become a normal for daily society because there are different views, opinions, or choices.  We have become more open than the previous generations before us but the problem is for us is communication and endurance or will to be able to fix even the most minor of problems when being with someone.  

  Many tend to give up too easily especially when they haven’t gotten to know or understand the reason how it started in the first place or being slightly stubborn. Being stubborn isn’t the only reason why we do this. From my own personal experience from a subject talked before is that we Idealize the relationship to a perfect love story experience like we see in social media. Though I am not saying that we aren’t allowed to have expected obligations or wants from those we choose to be involved with hopefully long-term results, we just forget that things including learning the faults do take time but another is to accept them.

 Accepting doesn’t mean accept an abusive spouse's faults and actions but I’m pretty sure you get the concept.  

 Many of us don’t give ourselves time to heal and automatically jump to another relationship, trying to fill that void left empty. But are we making the right choice in doing so? Here where it gets perplexed, we are struggling with maintaining stable connections for many reasons; we bore easily or it’s going at an excelled rate that one or both cannot handle, we get busy with other responsibilities, or in it for all the wrong perks of being with the person, etc.. 

 Values change all the time, molding and adapting every decade or so. but it doesn’t mean that this one’s era is not helping us succeed in compatible companionship. This is my opinion for this is through how my eyes see the world and from my past experiences within my own relationships and along with witnessing from friends and family. 

 Then there is something to say about ourselves, We have some not so good traits and impulses, sometimes these aren’t very easy to control or we are oblivious to them. Sometimes we hide them to the best ability we can because we need to be perfect in every shape or form. Some of us lack the understanding of taking consideration for the other’s feelings. 

We are going to have multiple relationships over our lifetime that is true but we lack certain social skills to better communicate with each other, we can also be afraid and trust becomes much more scarce because we do not take our actions accountable and vice verse. 

 Things are never easy, and being in a relationship there is going to be a lot more effort to be dedicating yourself to someone, that’s also personal growth. Patience is key, it will be difficult at times to be it’s an experience with compromises and that itself can get complicated. As long we are able to take our time to listen before reacting will also help build character for both parties. 

 We need to have a bit more faith, respect, and understanding before we can actually respond than end a relationship. We treat relationships as if we a bunch of teenagers that we no longer are, love is an unconditional thing but some of us treat one another as a prize then actually genuinely caring for said person we’re dating. 

 Being in a relationship should be soul defining and yes it’s okay to fall out of love with someone too when this happens do not drag on the relationship and start finding someone behind your current partner’s back. That’s disrespectful because if done to us we would be just as upset. we lack empathy in many of our choices most times we are just acting based on natural instinct, we should take a moment and think if we are making the right choice or will there be consequences to the path we are about to embark.  

We Forget that we are human and have forgotten the basics and values that should be in place in any kind of relationship whether it is monogamous or not. Effort, understanding, patience, trust, respect, and empathy are what keep any connection balanced something that we should be able to do in our sleep. 

Maybe we can bring back what a relationship should be. Not personal status and popularity. 

[camo--zamboni-deactivated201510]

My roommate and his girlfriend got in the shower together and they’re… Talking about politics?

I was expecting to hear “OH GOD, HARDER,” not “George Washington was entirely correct in his prediction of what distinct parties would do to politics as a whole.”

[camo--zamboni-deactivated201510]

Nope nevermind, there it is, apparently political debate is just their form of foreplay

[camo--zamboni-deactivated201510]

STOP REBLOGGING THIS HE HAS A TUMBLR

[burdmom]

[killin-the-machine]

They fucking killed him

[askjadeeldataylor]

bravo. XD 

[askjadeeldataylor]

Acceptance Is The True Beauty And The Eyes Opener Of Worlds

Accepting who you are is what mundanes struggle with a large portion of their lives, But do we struggle with it as well? The moment we truly awaken we see the world differently from those who continue to ignore the small details. 

The small details that are the most precious in my eyes I know others can not see. how beautiful I see others. How their world is beautiful along with them, so fascinated. Even describing it in words makes me see everything differently. But it’s that beauty I see within those that seems to be lost and darkness consumes their lives and clouds their judgment. And my wanting to shower them in love and show that their still someone willing to express themselves and bring out the good.

 Mundanes walk along the lines of purity and sin. Though seeking acceptance from those they idolized within their inner circle. But is it worth the pain that is inflicted even the purest of caring hearts? By those who chose not to love or are incapable due to past traumatic events that sometimes becoming haunting. And that poor heart shattered by an invisible bullet taking away their breath their vision. 

The reality check of this age I am reborn into. I have some sympathy for the lost and the shattered but at times is brought on only by themselves for even I had put my self straight in the open but gave to much trust to something that shall never change though fate keeps bringing me back to the same spot. 

I have become just like them. Only my shattered pieces evaporate to never be reclaimed. 

[askjadeeldataylor]

The Girl Whom Befriends The shadows

 A little girl with long dark brown hair resting in her bed till sounds that aren’t usually heard awake her from a peaceful sleep, she sits up quickly feeling a chill up her spine then she sees a shadowy apparition in the shape of a man. Wiping her eyes profusely hoping her eyes are just playing a trick on her, Yet the shadowy man is still there, she begins to feel fear rising within her. It begins to walk closer to her bed, the closer it gets the temperature drops around the closing area between them. 

 The girl wants to scream but is unable to, the shadow man comes up to her face and becomes clearer. It is her stepfather’s dad who had recently passed away a month prior. 

“Is my son alright without me? Does he morn with an aching heart?” he says to the child, but it is not a voice that can be heard yet she hears within her mind.

She stares at the spirit and says,” He is very sad. He drinks more these days. why did you go away?”

 A sad expression crosses his face, “ It was my time to go and be somewhere where I no longer feel pain but he kept his promise and gave me a grandson. Will you tell him I say thank you? I don’t have much time left and must go to a place of peace.” 

“ I will tell him, maybe he won’t feel sad no more,” she said. As soon as he came he left without another word but a smile.

 Years later the little girl is no more but is a young teen, she no longer fears the shadowy people that come and go in her presence. Whenever they come she listens and speaks freely with them. Her eyes are open to a world many cannot see. 

She has made friends with a specific spirit. Every day she comes home and the woman waits for her in the bedroom. The woman had followed her one day and never left. The girl’s stepfather drinking never stopped even when she had delivered the message that had been given to her, he treated her horribly as if she was an outcast. 

The woman's spirit was her protector, whenever the stepfather picked on the girl the spirit would take its revenge and disturb his sleep every night. The spirit being there made home a little more welcoming even when it wasn’t. 

The spirit helped the girl live when the girl thought she couldn’t take the pain of life and how chaotic it was, the pain that those close to her made her feel worthless. Who knew that a spirit was better at helping someone live when they were already dead.

 Fast forward once more and the girl has bloomed into a woman, the woman’s spirit now only a memory but lives on strong. The woman has learned to endure no matter what the world throws at her. Hopefully one day they shall meet on the other side

[askjadeeldataylor]

Being Friends With An Escort

 Yes you read the title correctly, one of my best friends is an escort and at the beginning was extremely difficult to come to terms with her being a sex worker for the many dangers it tends to bring along. But after many years I’ve come to terms with her doing this as a profession.

 She started not too long after we reached legal age. I was extremely disappointed for I had felt that she was desecrating her body a giving away a part of herself, as if selling her soul. 

 It did not help my opinion already when she had gotten with a man she never introduced to me before, because I am good at reading energy of most people ( except those few who can hide their emotions through psychic walls with or without knowing makes things a tad difficult for me to get a perspective of how their personalities are) I automatically disliked him. I got a sense that he didn’t actually like her for her, instead the money that she makes and he basically was getting things out of that. He was also extremely abusive but she didn’t make it any better for herself starting the fights quite often. 

 One night it gotten to a point where I had to make a quick escape out of her apartment for they started fighting and the violence escalated quickly, I had wanted to fight back but then and there I had to think of my own safety so I fled and called my manger from work to come and get me. Luckily due to a noise complaints cops were called and an assault charge was made, sadly because she had cared for him she dropped the charges and went back. Shortly after though the relationship ended. 

 Even if I didn’t enjoy what she did I still worried about her safety, I began tagging along with her acted as a bodyguard of sorts, we would rent hotels and this was my true insight to the world of sex workers. I began realizing that she was lucky for she didn’t have to give her money to pimps and be sex trafficked, she always remained professional. I never had to actually use brutal force for the clients that came in because the moment they saw me were already shocked them. 

 Other perks were that a lot of the clients gave her things or would take her out which I would assume to show appreciation and respect for her providing her services just like in a normal working environment. 

 I can sorta get the appeal in why so many people do this as a profession because I took it upon myself to get an understanding instead of judging and being so conservative about it. Many do this for survival, even support families for they have children. But this type of life isn’t for everyone but we should still have respect for those doing this because it takes much courage to put themselves in this position and do this sometimes on a daily. 

 Just because someone is doing this for living doesn’t make them a horrible and are too easily judged, many of us  don’t think to put themselves in their shoes and for this reason is most often shunned. And no this isn’t me praising them, more understanding people in any type situation. We are all different and will take different paths in life, it will always take courage to do it. 

 I still love my friend no matter what she does and I have accepted that this is what she does, but it has never changed her as a person because no matter how hard she is knocked down she stands right back up, fights and lives her life to the fullest. 

never judge a book by its cover. We are only human and are allowed faults in our stars. 

[askjadeeldataylor]

Saw this original photo so i made my perfect meme 😂

[askjadeeldataylor]

Coming To The Realization That I Idealize People Too Much.

 I have dealt with a lot ups n downs when it comes to being social growing up. I didn’t go to kids party unless it was family, so I grew up pretty isolated. I was also bullied quite a bit. 

 Once I started junior high I was given more freedom ( I did took advantage of it because I got to explore more and gave me this feeling independence). But this also meant I was exposed to a many more influences. I was still an anti-social and the most shy person, sure I had recognized those I had went to elementary with yet I knew we had gone their own paths. 

Then came my crush on one of my friends from elementary, we shall call him Josh. Josh was sweet, kind and shy like myself but this is when my social anxiety decided to make it’s first appearance. Here’s the thing I have a very vivid imagination so it was super easy to picture moments with Josh. And thus  was the beginning of idealizing issues. When i began to start telling friends about my crush on Josh I used tell them things that really weren’t  part of his personality. 

 Let’s fast forward to up the age of 18, I had met my ex boyfriend at the adult education center I was attending to get my high school diploma. But we didn’t start dating till we were out of school. I think this is when it was at my worst, because I was still heart broken from my previous relationship I had started becoming close to him and we were hanging out a lot with one another.

 Once I start telling my friends about him but I began describing him as a the ultimate perfected specimen because in my eyes he was for he gave the attention I’ve craved that so many lacked to give me over my life. This cycled continued for almost 6 years. 

  I am 24 now and I’ve been single for about 6 months now. The last person I was with truly opened my eyes and also with the help of 2 of my good friends pointed out this very big issue I had with relationships for I made them this amazing perfect God-like being, that didn’t have to time for me or didn’t felt the same. 

 I have come to terms with this issues and been working really hard to not have this take hold of me. For bettering yourself will help you not be in a constant cycle of pain and hurt. Everyone is going to have toxic traits, behaviours along with vulnerabilities. Just takes will power to overcome them. 

 We can take hold of the mind and change our faults.

[askjadeeldataylor]

The Lucid Dream Experience

From a very young age I’ve been dreaming and been able to remember details of my dreams extremely well. And growing up only seem to get more intense, now at the age of 24 am able to have control the my own dream world at least a good 80% of the time. Thus I like to talk about my own personal experiences and how I’ve been able to take hold of my dreams rather than most average dreamers.

Dreams in a sense are representations of our subconscious, in other beliefs they are a gateway to a hole other dimension that can only be accessed through a sleeping state. For myself I take all these into play when my dreams started to get very intense as a child and would tell my mother every detail of the dreams I had (at the time I was roughly the age 3 or 4).  

Around the age 5 though I began to have this one going repetitive dream, Always started with this strange alien-type creature walking into my into my house he never liked my presence and always wanted to be alone with my mother. I remember after that dream I had this sense of having the dream again, somehow I managed to at least have that dream 3 times a week. This began a chain reaction for other dreams I enjoyed having.

Around the age of sixteen I had been going through depression, I had only wanted to sleep because there I had control in the dream realm to a certain extent but I just enjoyed the comfort of being there for it was my escape from my reality. This is when I really started practicing with lucid dream. I would put myself in a meditative state just before sleeping with the help of music. Once in the dream I was able to tell myself that this wasn’t reality and managed to control the situation of that dream. At the time I enjoyed having zombie apocalypse but the twist was that I was supernatural being which gave me an advantage each time I had the dream.

As I practice more the dreams became more controlled, until about the age of 21 when I began to feel physical touch with my lucid dreaming especially if it was a dream with a lover or someone who’ve peaked my interest.

I had started to use binaural beats that i’d play throughout my sleep to see how much further I could push myself to gain full control of the dream instead just parts of it. The results progressed extremely quickly once I began, within 6 months I had full control of my dreams but that was always with the binaural music playing each night.

Then I began looking up other ways to be able to lucid dream, and it let me to using crystals, incense and other spiritual tools. I found the crystals worked best alongside with the music. The incense did not have the most effect in my experimentation. Then I had read an article in wiccan practices that moon water is quite effective (simply leave a jar or bowl of water bathing in the full moons light overnight). I would dip my finger and smear the water on my forehead where my third eye is located. This one was highly effect and didn’t require the music that was damaging my phone battery since it was on all night.

Another thing that I notice that the more I was gaining control of lucid dreaming I was able to remember more than one dream and was able to go back to the dream I was having previously before I had woken up to go to the bathroom.

Lucid dreaming is very rare for only 19-39% of the population can do it. But I think with a little bit of practice you can gain the ability to lucid dreaming for we as the human race is always changing and adapting.

Sometimes the subject of lucid dreaming doesn’t go well with some that i’ve encountered. And I completely understand especially for those who cannot recall none of their dreams, But I believe that with the power of will you can do many things whether its lucid dreaming or simply following a path in life. Us ourselves are still somewhat of a mystery, we learn something new about our existence all the time.

I like to also remind that the article is about my own personal experiences and doesn’t mean that they’re facts. This is something i’ve wanted to write about for awhile and finally had the time to actual do it and will probably be writing more about several spiritual experiences.  

[askjadeeldataylor]

Follow my bud on youtube @ NandoElgiant 

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anyone want to name her

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Tokyo ghoul inspired 

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ringopie

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calvin-sass

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