Eternal Kingdom

“Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.” – Earl Wilson

[asktheyoungentrepreneur]

i hope that doordash driver steals security's segway

There's no way. I have an extremely elite guard of highly trained soldiers. Nothing would get past them. That's what I pay for.

[askmronceler]

Looks to me like you need to upgrade your security, kiddo.

[asktheyoungentrepreneur]

H-hm hm hm! Look whoooo it is! How's your new model working out for you? You know. The one you stole from me.

And for your information! My security's just fine. Thank you very much!

[askmronceler]

It's a wonderful pleasure to see you as well, dear Entre. I simply worry for your safety. As well as the safety of your property and loved ones. How much have you lost in the arson so far?

Oh, he's doing well! Blooming like a rose. You could ask him yourself. You have all of his contact information.

[asktheyoungentrepreneur]

i hope that doordash driver steals security's segway

There's no way. I have an extremely elite guard of highly trained soldiers. Nothing would get past them. That's what I pay for.

[askmronceler]

Looks to me like you need to upgrade your security, kiddo.

[askmronceler]

Hello mr onceler! you seem to be a poetic type, you have any favourite poets?

You caught me! I am a fan of the classics, yes, like Walt Whitman. Furthermore, to put it lightly, I found the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling very enlightening.

Though, I am always the most captivated by Dante Alighieri. It must seem off for a man like me to have such an interest in the world that Mr. Alighieri paints, but I always find myself returning to it. Like when you go back to your home town and remember that bakery you loved when you were a child.

The apple fritters are never as good anywhere else.

[askmronceler]

are you single and ready to mingle :)

Regrettably, that's past-tense. I'm not sure how you missed it as it was all over the tabloids. An unfortunate side-effect of being in the spotlight: even your personal life becomes a worldwide affair.

I will say no more on the subject.

Am I amenable to further relationships? I'm a hard one to impress. So, we shall see.

[askmronceler]

What happened to the Lorax?

If you’ve heard a thing from the cult of that old goat, disregard it. Wouldn’t want you wasting your time with ridiculous ideas and allegations. They follow the myth of a tree god and expect anyone to take them seriously. Don’t even entertain a discussion with them, they’ll hear no other side. Simply trolls and bored people looking for fights. I’ll never understand how they got any court to take their case. As you recall, they lost, embarrassingly so, of course. However, I still take ire to having so many resources thrown their way.

Bah! I’m wasting my time even now just entertaining your question about a figment of the imagination of people with too much time on their hands. Meanwhile, stealing hours away from good, hard-working people with their talk of things they have no understanding of.

[askmronceler]

can ... can I be ... y..your new ... secretary?

Apologies, but you’re applying, anonymously, for a position that’s already been filled quite well. Am I understanding the situation correctly?

[askmronceler]

oh no, i’m attracted

Attracted just as much to all the services and products Thneeds, Inc. offers as well, I hope. ;)

[askmronceler]

hey mr onceler, wheres ur flashy suit??

Ha! I left all that frivolous flash in my youth. While it’s certainly eye-catching, I prefer to be taken seriously as a businessman. The in-your-face, colorful suits, well, they lead to one thing and not the other. This is business, not a pageant. I learned to stand out without needing my  clothing to speak for me. Now I wear the clothes, not the clothes wearing me.

[askmronceler]

Business going well, sir?

Business is rising by great leaps and bounds. See for yourself in any Bloomberg, Forbes, or Harvard Business Review. Our entire international picture is most exuberantly rosy.  Everything’s upward-pointing arrows. You can see the name anywhere you looks. So short answer: it’s going very well. Thank you for the question.

[askmronceler]

hamburger

I believe you mean “Once-ler Burger®.” Head to your nearest Thneed-2-Eat and pick up one for the classic price of $3.98. It contains, as always, all fresh and all natural ingredients.

[askmronceler]

It's not a real onceler AMA until someone asks the age old question. How old are you?

An odd tradition. I turned the fine age of 44 this year.

[askmronceler]

You got a gimmick, Mr.Onceler, sir?

A "gimmick"? I believe you mean "branding." Which, of course, I do. We here at Thneeds, Inc. take our branding very seriously. I call it a mesh of elegant and contemporary. A little something for every one of our customers. Reflecting both the past of the company and shining forth to the now and beyond. If, by which, you mean...: What sets me apart from the other Mr. Once-lers...well, I'll leave that up to you to find out.

[askmronceler]

hey. why are you such a snack? i’ll await your essay.

I am not simply a snack.

I’m the full course meal.

[askmronceler]

dahdee?

No, I will not pay your child support, tuition, and/or student loans.

[askmronceler]

whats your opinion on lizards

Foul creatures.

[askmronceler]

I find myself with much free time on my hands. I suppose I’ll open an AMA session. Lucky for you.