A Horrifying Glimpse Into My Mind

It's mostly about ghosts, old houses, and yarn.

[kitarlon]

It’s bedtime and I’ve never been more excited. I’m gonna sleep so hard I’m not even going to know what hit me. Good night everyone.

[kitarlon]

I wanted biscotti so bad so I went to my usual cookie place and all they had was this bullshit "softer biscotti". They didn't even sell regular biscotti. That's not biscotti that's just a fucking chocolate chip cookie! So today I angry baked biscotti because biscotti is meant to be dunked in a cup of coffee. It's not allowed to be soft because it has to be able to soak stuff up. That's the whole point of it and you fuckers piss me off with your "soft biscotti" bullshit.

[kitarlon]

Hello all, it is once again that time of the month when I crave a chicken bacon ranch sandwich more than I crave a house that me and all my friends can live in.

[kitarlon]

Life is highway, I’m gonna ride it, you’re navigating. Why the hell didn’t you tell me we missed our exit? How far back is it? Twenty miles!! Why didn’t you say anything? Well find the nearest gas station and we’ll turn around there, I need to pee and we need to refuel.

Inspired by a collection of true events. Afab more like adab (assigned driver at birth).

[kitarlon]

My stomach hurts because I got nervous during an interview and blanked on information that I know. Simple policy shit that I know like the back of my hand on any regular day. I’m going to be so disappointed if I don’t get this position.

[kitarlon]

Featherless chickens are such a wonderful breed of chicken. Where else am I supposed to find good dragon anatomy sources?

[kitarlon]

I think the one thing I'm missing most about college is this pizza place nearby that made the most heavenly chicken bacon ranch sub I've ever experienced. I'm straight up stalking their facebook page to get a glimpse so I can reconstruct it at home. All I've got is one picture from the sister location, she's tucked in the corner because the star is the pizza sub. I'm just staring at this sliver of a sub desperately scratching down "Italian bread, cubed chicken, lots of bacon, cheese goes under the meats, toast then add lettuce and ranch" like a fucking stalker. How do I know you toast it before adding the ranch? Because in the picture, the pizza sub and the CBR sub are on the same toasting tray, the pizza sub clearly has melted cheese which must mean that the CBR sub has also gotten toasted.

Or maybe I just take the time to drive down there and maybe visit a friend? That's definitely the more sane answer.

No tags, don't support my insanity.

[stealingpotatoes]

happy valentines, galentines, and meowlentines everyone <3

[kitarlon]

Tried to have a fun little conversation about aliens with my mom. Her thoughts are that it’s not entirely impossible that God could’ve created life on another planet an and it’s chill because they too can be Christian.

And she says I take things too seriously.

[gonzos-humansona]

my hips don't lie but they will exaggerate details, misrepresent the facts, and on occasion deceive via omission of crucial information

[xanaxfarts]

Iron butterfly gates

[kitarlon]

When I think about Joann fabrics, know that I picture her like a man in a movie thinking of his deceased wife. She’s running on a beach laughing, swinging on tire swing or something. I miss my wife. The mall is getting a hobby lobby but it’s not the same. That’s a staunch Christian woman, my wife was carefree and celebrated Halloween.

[kitarlon]

Love crocheting, it’s so fun. However I get kind of impatient when a project I’m so so excited for isn’t done immediately and I have to actually keep crocheting to make it exist. It’s a big reason as to why I do a lot of little projects and have only done two small blankets.

[kitarlon]

Why are you charging so much for a garage that I mistook it for an apartment? I was so ready to move into that cute little barndominium. Just chuck a minisplit in there and I’ll be golden.

[kitarlon]

I already filled out your application, what do you mean there’s a a secret second application I have to fill out before you schedule an interview. The inefficiency is disgusting.

[kitarlon]

Just finished playing stray, my cats are about to become very annoyed with the amount of affection they’re about to receive.

[kitarlon]

If I hear another personal anecdote used in an attempt to make me understand a simple topic that I'm already familiar with I'm going to fuck with the wiring in the building. I know how to do it, don't tempt me.