Ask Postman Curly

Ever wanted to ask your local mailman questions? Well, here’s your chance.

[askpostmancurly]

Have you ever considered that the tulpar was just a glorified space mail truck shipping packages out into the great unknown? Who would Curly be if intergalactic space travel hadn't been created yet? Have you ever wanted to ask your local mailman questions?

Well look no further, introducing a modern AU ask blog, featuring your local mail carrier Postman Grant Curly.

This art ask/text blog is not canon compliant and is pretty much a modern AU where the Tulpar is just Curly's mail truck and the crew are all people he delivers to. In this AU, Curly has his own route and is working his way up to be a Postmaster.

Moderator is 18+, please be considerate and have fun!

[askcoltonmiller]

Jane sent me a letter for the first time… I got so excited when I saw it but… I…

She… served me divorce papers…

I’m trying not to vent but like… I’ve talked so much about how I need to divorce her, and that I’m done, called her a cunt… but why does this hurt so fucking much?

She put her wedding ring in there, I’m so sick. I feel awful…

[askpostmancurly]

Oh… did I deliver that certified? Oops… sorry.

[askpostmancurly]

Post man Curly more like POST HOLE, CURLY.

I don’t think you can put a stamp on a hole! :0 ?

[askpostmancurly]

Hey~

Hi! Oh my goodness, I was wondering why I felt like I was missing something!!!

[askdrunkjimmy]

Going out for smokes, anyone want anything?

[askpostmancurly]

Could you get me a vape? One of the geekbars. My vape died :(

[askpostmancurly]

"Ahh.. I'm missing a package.. its called you and I want it delivered soon."

-@specialgalofthetulpar

I assure you, your package is on the way!

[askpostmancurly]

// admin note //

// Work has been crazy for me lately, I’m so sorry guys. I’m working on a few drawings, and one collab. I’ll post again soon I promise 💖 //

[askpostmancurly]

a letter has arrived! 📬

To: the admin

I just read your minors DNI post, I apologize that I hadn’t read it sooner. As per your request, since I’m a minor, this will be my last ask; I just wanted to tell you. Thank you very much for all of the fascinating information!

From: Aspiring Mailman anon 📮

// Admin response: //

// I apologize, I didn’t realize that you were a minor!

I put that in place for minors safety since I may in the future post nsfw content. I won’t be responding to your asks now, but I just wanna say I appreciated your interactions.

You were such a sweet anon and your letter asks always made my day. As an irl Mail Carrier, I wish you the best on your aspiring mailman journey! ☺️//

[askpostmancurly]

Is it true what they say about dogs and mailmen?

Before they put you on a route, they put you through orientation, and one part of orientation is dog safety. Most owners are correct, your dog is probably a sweet creature, but mail carriers are intruders and most times arrive to deliver the mail when their owners aren’t home. They’re just doing their job and protecting their territory from a stranger!

If there’s a dog in the yard, I just don’t deliver. It’s not just because of my own safety, it’s for the safety of the animal, and the owner.

I’ve had a few dogs chase me, but none of them have caught me just yet.

[askpostmancurly]

You said the tulpar is your mail truck… can I see the truck?

My trusty (most of the time) steed 💪 This thing is older than I am

[askpostmancurly]

Jimmy and I are gonna hang out after I’m done working. He said something about watching Spirit? I didn’t know he liked religious movies.

[askpostmancurly]

Oh. It’s about horses.

[askpostmancurly]

Jimmy and I are gonna hang out after I’m done working. He said something about watching Spirit? I didn’t know he liked religious movies.

[askpostmancurly]

Delivering mail in the snow is great if you like accidentally doing donuts on the road. 😭

[askpostmancurly]

A letter has arrived! 📬

To: Curly

Hey, you seem neat! I’ve always wanted to talk to a postman! Is it fun? I’ve been wondering if I should take it up for a side job.

From: Aspiring Mailman anon 📮

Hello Anon! This is such a sweet ask, I'm actually more than happy to answer any questions you have. Being a Mail Carrier is hard work, it isn't super rewarding, but the few customers who appreciate you on your routes can make or break your time at the post office. I personally love my job, I love my route, I love driving my little 40 year old truck around the neighborhood through rain snow and shine. My coworkers are all wonderful at my office, it's a smaller town so it isn't as hectic as a city office might be. If you're looking for a job in the post office you'd have to consider a few things: Part time or full time, walking or driving, office or delivery, ect. Being a mail carrier, if you'd like part time I'd say look into a job as a rural carrier. Most of the routes are about 3-8 hours long depending on the route. They're usually all driving with box on post (mailboxes) all the way down. City Carriers are usually a mix of driving and walking loops. Some are fully walking, and some are fully driving, it usually depends on the office that you apply to. I personally love being a City Carrier, mostly because I get to get my steps in every single day, and you get to build better relationships with your customers. If you want a guaranteed part time position, being a clerk is a good option. Those positions are usually about 4 hours a day! That was a lot of information, so I'm so sorry. But I hope this helps you! Please feel free to ask me more <3

[askpostmancurly]

hey mister postman,,, heard you deliver packages,,, you take ‘em too? 🤤

Haha! I do accept packages, as long as they’re prepaid on our postal app! You’ll just have to get the weight and measurements of you package and pay online before I can pick it up.

If you’re asking about something else though… I’m interested in girls, guys, nonbinary people, ect. Perhaps I might take a package… 💅

[askpostmancurly]

do u do weddings but as the groom

Haha! I mean, I could! But I guess it matters on who’s asking. 🫣

[askpostmancurly]

I'm so glad you asked this! I actually have a few people I love to deliver to, and I couldn't choose one, so I'm gonna talk about each of them one by one!

Daisuke

Daisuke is one of my last deliveries of the day, and I usually have a tub full of packages just for him. Some days he has less than others, but he's always on his doorstep waiting for me to show up.

Anya

Anya is such a sweet woman. She's always looking after me every season. In the summer she offers me little snacks and gatorade, and during the winter she scolds me for not wearing a scarf. One year she actually bought me a scarf and hung it from her mailbox with a note saying that she'd better see me wearing it the next day.

Swansea

Swansea is a retired Postal Carrier, and he loves to come out just to talk to me when I'm on my route. He thinks up of all the overused jokes that he heard when he was delivering the mail and he tells me the same ones every single day. As annoying as that might sound to some carriers, I think it's sweet that the best part of the day for him is to tell me the same joke over and over again.

And of course...

Jimmy

Jimmy is my childhood friend. He doesn't have a mailbox. Most carriers would skip his house because there isn't a place to put the mail, but I always knock on his door to give it to him. He's usually home... and he's usually drunk. @askdrunkjimmy