hello i read your post why did you decide to end your engagement ?
Just to make this clear, it was an arranged marriage. It wasn't some new love story or someone I had fallen for.
His family approached mine, and I said yes because I genuinely believed that maybe this was how I would finally move on from the person I had loved for years. He had made it clear he didn't want me in his life anymore, no matter how much I tried to explain my side of things. So I convinced myself that this was what I was supposed to do.
Turns out... it didn't help.
It made everything worse.
Every day, I felt like I was forcing myself to build a future with someone my heart had never chosen. I kept telling myself that maybe if I tried harder, maybe if I gave it more time, I'd become the person everyone needed me to be.
Instead, I watched myself disappear.
I was constantly anxious. I was having panic attacks. I couldn't recognize myself anymore because I was living for everyone else's approval while slowly abandoning my own well-being.
The hardest part is that he wasn't a bad person. The problem was that I was asking myself to love someone while grieving someone else, and that's simply not something the heart can be forced to do.
Not because it was easy.
Not because I didn't care about the consequences.
But because I realized that if I stayed, I would've kept sacrificing pieces of myself until there was nothing left.
Walking away broke my heart.
Staying would've broken me.
