Many have heard me, but nobody has seen me, and I will not speak

I do not have much free time, but what I got, I got to illuminate everyone with my greatness. Just don't dare me to go down on 'smartness' levels. By this I mean, think before asking, if you can. (( Riddler Ask Blog. M!A: Non))

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

Have you considered Spats over Spandex?

And I’m not even going to enlogate over this. No. There are some things in this universe that don’t deserve my time and ‘Spats over Spandex’ is one of them.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

From the desk of Professor Scarlet--What's this I hear about the GCPD nearly recruiting you to break Batman and the Boy Wonder out of one of my old traps, hmm?

Well! Here is someone I wasn’t expecting today. For the unaware ones, this is ‘Professor Scarlet’, commonly known as Bookworm. Oh do trust me, the first time I heard about him, I was just as confused as you readers might be right now. I had to verify whether he was real or not. If he was a mock rogue or not, among other things.

His name as a whole hasn’t popped up in quite a long time, and if it has, well, what can I say, I had better things in my plate in the past few months to bother with such apparitions.

But back to the question. I didn’t know about this as the news never got to me. As you just pointed out in your own inquiry, ‘nearly’ being recruited means that I was never informed, and hence I couldn’t have a thought or acted upon it. However, if it is an hypothesis you want Professor, I’ll be happy to indulge.

If the GCPD actually had recruited me to save Batman, the situation would have been over in less than three seconds. Not to demerit the efforts you put in your contraptions Booky, but being quite honest, when you put them against the brightest mind in Gotham, they become quite tedious chores.

While on one hand, I’m glad I was never actually asked to complete such a dull task, as it would have killed some of my brain cells just looking at the poorly rigged scenario, on the other it would had also made me sad that I couldn’t show you how it is actually done, or showed the caped crusader and his companion how a trap is actually built.

But who knows, maybe in the future the scenario will pop up again and the Professor will have to learn a trick or two from a real expert.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

Wait a-

Oh no.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

But I guess I can’t ask for much.

Except probably solitary confinement, althought I’m sure I’m getting that regardless wether I ask or not.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

There are easy ways, and hard ways, I like to lean for whatever gives me more of a stage without getting my hands too dirty. 

But some of my tactics I like to remain secret as you can see I have innitiated another game that I’m planning to win.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

I’m kinkshaming

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I like your hat :B

Don’t worry about the background. Classic minor Gotham inconvenience.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

He doubted me, he doubted me as a villain

[sunnyallthetime-blog1]

hey j, whatcha thinkin about?

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

This is how he says he doesn’t.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

hey riddler u single? ;)

But as of the follow up questions. I’m not looking for anything permanent or temporal.

You see, marriage, relationships, and ‘fucking’, in the most common of the terms, are just distractions to ones true mind and self. And I ather keep my mind clean as long as possible.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

sunnyallthetime:

At least buy a girl dinner first, Eddie~

I’ll disregard how silly you’re being about the joke-riddle thing, but just because, well.

You did give this one a punchline.

And the only way I would buy you dinner would be if I was in hell

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

Riddles are Jokes with no punchline, does that mean you are a Joker that can't make people laugh?

And that is definitly not how it works.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

Modified? You mean they're fake? o.o

Not a single person in this planet is ever lucky enough to be born with this babys naturally. Would be aganist all the odds, and to top it for them to become the Riddler? Would be funny above all, almost predestined. 

But no, this eyes are my creation which I am proud of. And no, these are not contacts. I wouldn’t be enough of a moron to wear contacts and glasses at the same time.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

Who is the prettiest in Gotham? Over you, of course

Of course I am the prettiest, that is just a given. Second place, its just the first loser. Either way.

I would normally put it to test but at my current stand I have no doubts on the matter.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

You've got some pretty eyes!

One of the best choices I’ve made honestly

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

What made you want to become the riddler ?

Yousee, becoming the Riddler takes more of a wanting, as moreso a needing. But I’mgoing to assume you want my tipping point, and not of an entire list ofevents that could have originated the Riddler. And since you will, I’mgoing to elaborate.

The tipping pointI remember. I was working for Treemur Labs. I was leading a small group ofscientists on a project to what would be a breakthrough, it would launch me as‘must have’ in the history books. 

But, yet oncewe got there, Victor Stanwick happened. He was a doctor for GothamLabs. And he decided to take my research and everything I’ve worked for years,as his own. 

Justice fell into deafears and I saw my entire future stolen before my eyes. My fame, my job, myspotlight. And I couldn’t just let it happen. He couldn’t just have done itfirst, there was no way he could have gotten results before I did, he hadstolen everything.So I decided to put him to test.

Thanks to a littlehelp of one of my assistants, the younger and smarter one at that, who hadpersonal perks against Stanwick, I put Victor to test. On a battle of wits, me againsthim. And of course, he failed. And he fell hard. He didn’t know anything. 

I won. He died.And while the experiment never progressed due our sudden… new status. My nameis the one forged in history books, permanently.

But now I was acriminal and you know what? I wasn’t going to go down just a criminal,this city doesn’t know what true intelligence is yet. And hence… here weare. 

In a sense Ishould feel like thanking him for being the little push that I needed to findmy true potential. Then again, I just don’t feel like it. And I hope thatanswered your question.

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

do you think the joker is, well, funny?

I would love to not enlogate, but you have opened a question similar to what the Pandora Box would be without hope at the end of it.

(( Pictures answer below, warning for blood))

Keep reading

[sunnyallthetime-blog1]

It’s a real shame the whole thing’s not to your tastes though.  Maybe someday I’ll have to work extra hard to find something that’ll make you laugh. :)

[askriddlesmcgee-blog]

Oh don’t bother with it, we can stay just fine in the perfect momentum of balance and lack of unnecesary slapstick