Better Call Saul

BETTER CALL SAUL! Butttt in the event that you cant. ASK ME ANYTHING!

[asksaulgoodman]

BETTER CALL SAUL!

BUT if you can't... ASK ME ANYTHING. You read it here first folks, Saul Goodman is ready to answer all of your undying questions.

So go on, ask! For the low low low price of FREE!

[asksaulgoodman]

hey saul can i have a big long hug 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😢😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😭😭😭😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😭😭😢😢

Yeah, yeah. One hug. Five Mississippi's. After that, I'm billing you. First, sign this non-disclosure agreement!

[asksaulgoodman]

How would you feel about having a pretty boy assistant who also does favors of a certain variety upon request?

Now that's what I call an executive assistant. Throw in a decent cup of coffee and you've got yourself a contract!

[asksaulgoodman]

Sorry saul i think im ovulating

How bout' you turn all that regret into cold, hard cash? My preferred apology comes in unmarked bills.

[asksaulgoodman]

I want u so bad it isn’t even funny please let me be wife #4 i promise i won’t divorce u

Wife #4? Whoa, whoa! Slow down, Casanova. You skipped dinner, a proposal, and the prenup.

[asksaulgoodman]

FUCK YOU SAUL

Love you too, sweetheart!

[asksaulgoodman]

Hi how young do you go

Nice try, officer. I'd like to keep my licence on the wall.

[asksaulgoodman]

i will fucking kidnap you and lick your face what abt that

Great! We've upgraded from harassment to multiple felonies. That's Exhibit A right there. Thanks for putting it in writing.

[asksaulgoodman]

Man ion got 1000 to lick yo face tf😭😭😭what if i give u a strawberry cake + $100

Well no one is forcing you. That's what we call a voluntary transaction! Strawberry cake is a nice touch, though. Good try.

[asksaulgoodman]

Look at that face!! Doesn't that just scream 'dismissed with prejudice'?

[asksaulgoodman]

hi dad

Easy there. Child support's expensive. The only thing I adopt is new clients!

[asksaulgoodman]

what if i lick your face for like 15min for $100

Everything's negotiable. Your opening bid, however, is a crime! You forgot a zero. Maybe two. My barber charges more to touch this face.

[asksaulgoodman]

A) What’s your favorite nail polish color?

B) What’s your biggest regret in life?

C) Why did you come up with the sex robot voice? It’s not at all understandable, so what was the goal?

^^ Answer any of the above.

I'll be answering all of the above on account for more zeros on that paycheck!!

A) Red. Matches a couple of my ties... and a few of my clients' criminal records.

B) Biggest regret? Billin' too little.

C) You spend enough time with one person, eventually a sex robot voice just... happens. Don't question the process!

[asksaulgoodman]

saul can i lick your face

Depends. What's the paycheck look like? How many zeros are we discussin'?

[asksaulgoodman]

How expensive is to burry a body a… totally legal meat bag?

Look, if this entirely lawful, IRS-approved, Constitution-loving situation ever comes up, it's not gonna break the bank. But a jail cell? No bail? That's a budget killer. You know what's a bargain by comparison? A really good criminal lawyer. Lucky for you! I know a guy, just call: [phone]

[asksaulgoodman]

mr. goodman i need you to marry me.

and then i need you to **** me until i ****** and **** so hard that *** all over you and i **** *** *** until you *** down ** **** and ***** *** **** **** and **** **** and *** ***** so that i ***** and its just ****** ** ****and i can't **** with anyone *** **** ***** ***** you

thanks.

You win the award for most passionate contract offer! Legally, I must respectfully decline. But... CALL me if you have ANY problems. Wink WINK wink wink.

[askjessepinkmann]

can you ask ur lawyer about a guy named nacho and tell me what he says. sorry if that sounds weird but i miss hearing about him

uhh yeah sure yo, lemme call him real quick, man.

[asksaulgoodman]

Nacho? Wow, we’re digging into the archives now, huh? Kid had a good head on his shoulders, shame he didn’t use it to become, I don’t know… an accountant or something less… explosive.

Now, anything else I can bill you for?