Not one moment for granted

Lieutenant Steven Cortez, shuttle pilot aboard the Normandy SR-2. I also help maintain the armory and I'm the procurement specialist. Need weapon upgrades? Anything else? Send a request to me. RP/ask blog, up for anything. Started fresh, there are plenty more posts here, visit if you want to go through them main blog

[askstevecortez]

I'm not sure what to say. I'm mobile so I can't do a readmore so on sorry if this is annoying. So I guess the Boss/Steve ship is all over. Makes me really upset to say it, because I really enjoyed it and it made me happy. Nothing really makes me happy anymore. I sound so dumb, but make fun of me all you want. I don't care. I don't care anymore. I guess I also seem like I'm immature to pretty much being done here over it. Though the truth is that Boss had been really the only person here to consistently rp with me. Yes there are some amazing people here that I have met and have done a rp or two with me. Though I constantly feel overlooked/ignored here. Might stem from my anxiety though I don't feel right reaching out for stuff and just overall feel annoying. I don't seem to connect because I've been abandoned countless times by family and friends in my life. So the pleny of times I've had people say "you can talk to/rp with me anytime!" And that's that doesn't do anything for me. I just disconnect myself from it, trying to avoid the inevitable sinking feeling. And I suppose its happening again. With that explination I guess I'm just feeling a sort of inability to continue here even of I really want to. I loved rping here, so fucking much. And its all gone. Probably mostly my fault. I've got a lot of issues. Sorry.

[askstevecortez]

Goodbye everyone

[askstevecortez]

.i miss it here but I can't help but feel sad and awful about everything. I don't know what to do.

[askstevecortez]

(( happy thanksgiving everyone I know I haven't been doing much (and I owe Kar a reply) though I am lurking. ))

[askstevecortez]

Return of the Collectors bothered me more than I think it should have. Appreciate the offer, but I don’t think there is much to be done about that.

[sentinelalenko-deactivated20150]

I- yeah. No, you’re right. Sorry. For what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone would protest if you fired a few shots at them from the Kodiak if we ever run into them.

[askstevecortez]

You don’t think I already have? Heh.

[sentinelalenko-deactivated20150]

Good point.

[askstevecortez]

I only do the best I can do with what I've got.

[askstevecortez]

Return of the Collectors bothered me more than I think it should have. Appreciate the offer, but I don’t think there is much to be done about that.

[sentinelalenko-deactivated20150]

I- yeah. No, you’re right. Sorry. For what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone would protest if you fired a few shots at them from the Kodiak if we ever run into them.

[askstevecortez]

You don't think I already have? Heh.

[askstevecortez]

Lt. Cortez, checking in. I hope I haven’t missed anything.

[repentant-serpent-deactivated20]

As long as you are taking it easy, Steve. 

[askstevecortez]

I think we may define that differently.

[repentant-serpent-deactivated20]

Very likely, mon ami.  I worry about you, though.

[askstevecortez]

There are more important things to be worried over than me.

[askstevecortez]

I’m doing fine, Major. Wasn’t in the best of moods for a while and couldn’t rest easy. I think I’m fine now, or at least better.

[sentinelalenko-deactivated20150]

That’s good to hear. Is there anything we can do around here to help you with whatever triggered your mood in the first place? It’s not my ship but both as the XO and as a former-Staff Lieutenant I can’t help but want to make sure everyone is being accommodated for around here.

[askstevecortez]

Return of the Collectors bothered me more than I think it should have. Appreciate the offer, but I don't think there is much to be done about that.

[askstevecortez]

Lt. Cortez, checking in. I hope I haven’t missed anything.

[repentant-serpent-deactivated20]

As long as you are taking it easy, Steve. 

[askstevecortez]

I think we may define that differently.

[askstevecortez]

Lt. Cortez, checking in. I hope I haven’t missed anything.

[sentinelalenko-deactivated20150]

You doing all right, Lieutenant?

[askstevecortez]

I'm doing fine, Major. Wasn't in the best of moods for a while and couldn't rest easy. I think I'm fine now, or at least better.

[askstevecortez]

Lt. Cortez, checking in. I hope I haven't missed anything.

[boss1138-archived]

askstevecortez replied to your post:  

(( I’m here. ))

(( :3 Hi…))

[askstevecortez]

(( howdy ))

[askstevecortez]

FUCK I thought I wad logged into my personal if anyone fucking saw that I'm sorry

[askstevecortez]

We had a promise made | AU

[boss1138-archived]

“I’m not going to yell,” he said as he finished with his task. Slowly, he straightened up and wiped the sweat from his brow before sighing. “I’m just frustrated. We talked about this years ago and now you act like you don’t want to go. Maybe you never wanted to go. But you should have said something so I didn’t have to wait for a time for both of us to be off. I could have just gone by myself.”

Shaking his head, he walked over to the shed to put the tools away, grabbing his shirt and pulling it back over his head. Once it was smoothed out, he walked over to Steve, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I just need to know if you want to go. Think about it. I need to take a shower.”

There was more that Boss wanted to say. To let out more of the anger that he was feeling, to let Steve know what was going on in his mind. But he didn’t want to go down that dark road again. For now, he simply squeezed Steve’s shoulder and walked back inside, heading to the master bathroom to take a nice, hot shower.

[askstevecortez]

Steve wasn't sure what to say about him not wanting to go. There was a part that really did, Steve was curious about Boss' home. Just... When Steve promised that he would go with Boss, their relationship had just begun. Steve barely thought he would survive the war with the Reapers. There was just something holding him back and he didn't know what. It felt like just just needed a talk right now, process what he was thinking with someone else. It probably wasn't a good idea to do so with Boss, where it didn't seem that he even wanted to talk right now. Especially not to Steve. 

An even bigger brick of guilt hit Cortez as Boss said he could have gone on his own. Steve knew how much Boss missed his home galaxy, how much Boss had risked coming here at first. That for a while didn't know if he could make it back. Risked his life defending a place he barely knew about, just to make sure the threat didn't make it back to his own galaxy. 

There wasn't much steve could have said to Boss then, and even then the man had taken off again before he could. Staying silent, Steve watched Boss return back to the house. Steve wished he would have yelled, just something. This was tearing him up inside, because he knew that Boss had been holding back. 

After Boss entered the house, Steve followed suit a moment after. Instead of going inside, Steve took a seat on the ground near the door. Going over everything in his mind probably a third time by now. Stress was clear across his features as he pressed his palm to an eye. If he were a smoker, he probably would have started now. 

[askstevecortez]

cmdr-jayce-shepard replied to your post: .

(( Shhhh *cuddles* I’m available for talking. u 3 u Well, when I’m not tired. ;; ))

(( -moar cuddles-  shhh, go sleep to cure tiredness. /shoo/ 

bioticboywonder replied to your post: .

((I like you :c))

(( C: eee, hello there! )) 

[askstevecortez]

ltcortez replied to your post: .

((I like you. <3))

(( :'3 I like you too haha )) 

drsolus replied to your post: .

[I know that feel -huggles-]

(( -hugglesss- )) 

[askstevecortez]

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