You need help, yes?

I fix computers. If you need help, I am here to take questions.[ Art is by mlgamerica, and the writing is done by mlgprussia. ] [ Note: please don't take this advice/blog seriously. ]

[asktechsupportrussia]

So uh..... Have you been seeing any creepy questions on your dash lately? Because I think Belarus may have hacked into my computer. Advice?

I sure hope she hasn’t hacked anyone...

[asktechsupportrussia]

((Important OOC announcement))

((Under the cut))

((Hi, it’s writer!mun here, and artistic!mun and I have been talking about developments as this blog has grown and gathered more followers (we love you all by the way and we love the compliments you send us!).

Over the last couple of weeks we’ve received multiple messages about why Ivan speaks the way he does, and we’ve come to the conclusion that I am not portraying his speak patterns accurately and respectfully in regards to actual Russian people. Originally I found it funny, but now I understand how and why it might be offensive and, well, not funny.

Because of this, I want to apologise for the misrepresentation I have presented and any offense it might have caused. Additionally -- as seen in our latest update-- I will be writing Ivan’s speak in ‘correct’ English. I will be making an effort to keep up the standard of comedy that I -- and artist!mun -- have established already, just without the needlessly offensive stereotypes.

Don’t worry people, there will be much more computers burned, smashed, and otherwise destroyed in the future.

Thank you so much for reading this!

- writer!mun ))

[asktechsupportrussia]

[asktechsupportrussia]

PSST, IVAN, CODE RED, ALL THAT PORN YOU FAVOURITED JUST POSTED ITSELF TO YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT, DELETE IT BEFORE YOUR SISTERS SEE (AND SUBSEQUENTLY BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU)

{ original comic: x }

[asktechsupportrussia]

Are you treating me like a computer? Because DAMN you turn me on~ ;3

[asktechsupportrussia]

Are you spying on me or something? How could you possibly know that there's a Recycling Bin on my desktop? I'm onto you.

[asktechsupportrussia]

Can we see your photos when you was teen?please Russia..

I am not having many, my apology.

[asktechsupportrussia]

*quietly* Hey Ivan you want some tetris games? ((Fuckin love this blog and the art and the replies and everything else about it. Thank you. Didn't know I needed this blog in my life but I did))

[asktechsupportrussia]

I'm Russian and I kinda confused why Ivan and his family speak in a such manner? This looks /really/ weird and I don't know what should I think about it.

{Answer under the cut!}

Hey there, Anon! First of all, we would like to apologize for any confusion we may have brought upon you. Second of all, we do not by ANY means mean to offend anyone (and if we do, PLEASE tell us!). Now, to clarify, because this is where it might have confused some people, this muse is NOT the representation of Russia! He is still Russia, yes, but since this is a human AU, he is a human who is really bad at speaking English (and to those of you who are wondering why we respond to "Russia", it seemed like a waste of a perfectly good ask to correct it/throw it away!). 

So, actually, that's one of the reasons we write him with bad English: because he was, in the first place, written as a character that was bad at English. Now, we are by no means saying that all of the Russian population sounds like this, heck no. Mostly only him. Adding onto that, this whole blog should NOT be taken seriously. At all. It is a comedy blog with like, 0 serious tones. And another reason why we write him with such broken English is b/c the writer!Mun writes it as a sort of parody/satire of how the fandom portrays him. Again, we do not mean to offend, and if we do, please talk to us, we’re always happy to listen.

Thank you so much for reading this!

[asktechsupportrussia]

((To the mun))I like your speech pattern for ivan. It sounds real tbh and i have spoken to many russians

((writer!mun here! Thank you so much omg!! I try to make Ivan’s dialogue sound generically ‘Russian’ in order to both be stilted and coherent enough to be funny! That being said, I really appreciate that you like how I’m writing it and that it sounds ‘authentic’ even if it’s the most stereotypical thing I could ever pull out of my ass ever omg but yeah this blog is a goddamn joy to write and I’m so happy you’re all enjoying this ❤❤❤!!

to quote artist!mun, in all his wisdom:

))

[asktechsupportrussia]

[asktechsupportrussia]

Opinion of Clippy, the microsoft helper?

I am having no opinion of little metal beast.

[asktechsupportrussia]

What I like about your tech support is having your voice right in my ear and you say that special phrase. "Have you tried hitting it?" Oh say that again please ;3

[asktechsupportrussia]

Opinion on memes?

…Of no comment.

[asktechsupportrussia]

I'm having a problem contacting tech support. Help?

You are of contacting me now, friend!

[asktechsupportrussia]

[asktechsupportrussia]

I challenge you for the next five asks China is temporarily working with Russia!

But, I made escaping. So, my sorries, I can not working with China.