Ask Bill Cipher

Oh, oh, Tumblr, it's great to be here! Ask me anything, go right ahead! Can't WAIT to hear from you~! And hey, even if I DON'T hear from you, I'm ALWAYS AROUND. Except I'm a triangle! Haha! Anyway, remember, dispute reality and believe in your dreams,...

[asktriangleguy]

W H O  L E F T  T H E  D O O R  O P E N ?

[doubtingsalmon]

Gravity Falls fans! We’ve gotta save the Mystery Shack!

Please consider chipping in to the fundraiser for Confusion Hill if you can spare the money! 

[3dbillcipher]

HEY FOLKS, THIS LADY IN CALIFORNIA NEEDS YOUR HELP!!!

[asktriangleguy]

Ok but why is your name Bill? Can't you be more original?

HA!  You really think that’s my actual name?  Sunglasses, come back when you can pronounce the feeling of pure horror a being feels upon viewing the true forms of a thousand angels made entirely of ichor and strobe lights, and we’ll talk about names that are creative.  BECAUSE THAT’S JUST THE FIRST SYLLABLE OF MINE.

[asktriangleguy]

Hey bill,i have covered my house with blood and tiny bills.How can i summon you?

Wow, that’s some dedication, pal!  You’re already halfway there.  Now just stand on your roof at sunrise and shriek as loud as you can!  I’ll definitely show up just to watch what happens next!

[asktriangleguy]

Note from Kittycat

Hey guys! @purpledemoncat the artist here, just dropping a line and saying thank you to all of our followers here. I know this blog hasn’t been very active over the winter season, and for that I do deeply apologize. The holidays, birthdays, family struggles, new puppy, jobs and life in general just kinda built up and bogged me down a bit. I haven’t been doing much arting lately, even for my own personal enjoyment. But seeing the follower count here on Ask Triangle Guy remain steady makes me real happy, so thank you everyone who has stuck around for so long.

Let me reassure you guys that Ask Triangle Guy isn’t going anywhere! Updates may have been few and far between but @noirandchocolate and I still love Gravity Falls and running this blog. With the holidays over, my seasonal depression lifting and the puppy getting a bit older, I’m going to try my best to start producing art for myself and for this blog again. Again, thank you all for sticking around during this downtime, and I hope I can repay you all back with nice updates!

Keep an eye out for updates and when we open the ask box again! Shouldn’t be too long now... After all, Bill needs a fresh supply of deals~

[asktriangleguy]

Hey Bill can I have one of your flying eyes as a pet?

Hey, if you want a chittering, flapping monstrosity that reports back to me on your every move, be my guest!

You can have any one but Mister Wiggles.  SHE’S MINE.

[asktriangleguy]

Do you know Walt Disney? Ever met him before?

Oh yeah!  We made a deal so he could live forever, in exchange for him eventually giving me a mouthpiece on his TV network!

HE SHOULD’VE BEEN MORE SPECIFIC WITH HIS REQUEST.

[asktriangleguy]

Hey Bill, have you ever had too many margaritas and done something you regretted?

HASN’T EVERYONE?  I mean everyone who isn’t a SQUARE?  Man, one time the gang and I went over to this dimension where breathing the AIR was like throwing back a shot, and let’s just say the next morning…

…I really didn’t know HOW to feel about eating dairy anymore.

[asktriangleguy]

I'd think you'd make good friends with flowey the flower or mettaton.

The Flower Kid has promise, I’ll give him that.  He COULD be a useful manipulator if I had some time to show him the ropes.

AND IF HE’D STOP CRYING EVERY TIME I BEAT HIM AT MARIO KART.

[asktriangleguy]

Are you afraid of death, Bill?

A better question is, ARE YOU?

And anyway, why WOULDN’T I still be able to access the internet?  The world of this so-called “show” you people keep talking about is just ONE facet of your universe.  After all, I’ve been talking to you around here all this time, haven’t I?  Haven’t you gotten the picture yet?

I AM EVERYWHERE.  I AM IN EVERY TIMELINE.  I CAN BE IN ANY PLACE AND ACCESS ANY MIND THAT DREAMS.  I WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU IN YOUR NIGHTMARES.

And it’s not like I’d leave all my GOOD FRIENDS on this website behind!  Come on, there’s still PLENTY of fun we can have TOGETHER.  Who wants to make a deal?

[asktriangleguy]

(Mod Honeybee Says:  Hey everybody, are you ready for the series finale tonight?!  Ready for some MADNESS!??  Well this is just to let you all know, whatever happens on the show tonight, we WILL be continuing this blog for as long as there’s interest in it.  So we hope you’ll keep following and enjoying our Bill-related fun.  Thanks everyone, and LET’S GET PREPARED FOR THE END.)

[asktriangleguy]

The bubble might be generated by that stupid alien ship that Pine Tree and Sixer accidentally reactivated the security system for. Find it and take it out again, and the bubble's down?

[asktriangleguy]

(Honeybee Says:  We’re closing the askbox again now so things don’t get too out of hand.  Thanks for all your great questions, guys!  And please remember not to send messages by fanmail or the instant messenger while the askbox is closed.  Bill won’t answer anything that doesn’t come through the askbox!!)

[asktriangleguy]

GREETINGS AND WELCOME TO THE END OF THE WORLD, TUMBLR HUMANS!

FINALLY, MY HUMAN TYPING AND DRAWING SLAVES HAVE GOTTEN OFF THEIR LAME MORTAL BUTTS AND OPENED MY ASKBOX.  SO IN HONOR OF MY INEVITABLE HOSTILE WORLD TAKEOVER, I’VE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU, MY FELLOW WEIRDOS AND FUTURE PLAYTHINGS!

                                      ANY LAST WORDS??

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

(Honeybee Says:  Askbox is open for a while ‘til we get a good number of questions to answer.  Kittycat or I will make a post to say when it’s closed again.  Ask the triangle anything, beg for mercy…or feel free to heckle him, he’s been a huge jerk lately.  Have fun everyone!)

[asktriangleguy]

GREETINGS AND WELCOME TO THE END OF THE WORLD, TUMBLR HUMANS!

FINALLY, MY HUMAN TYPING AND DRAWING SLAVES HAVE GOTTEN OFF THEIR LAME MORTAL BUTTS AND OPENED MY ASKBOX.  SO IN HONOR OF MY INEVITABLE HOSTILE WORLD TAKEOVER, I’VE GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU, MY FELLOW WEIRDOS AND FUTURE PLAYTHINGS!

                                      ANY LAST WORDS??

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

(Honeybee Says:  Askbox is open for a while ‘til we get a good number of questions to answer.  Kittycat or I will make a post to say when it’s closed again.  Ask the triangle anything, beg for mercy...or feel free to heckle him, he’s been a huge jerk lately.  Have fun everyone!)

[asktriangleguy]

[asktriangleguy]

MERRY WEIRDSMAS, HUMAN LOSERS!

WOW, I sure am popular around this colorful cesspit you call a website.  I’ve noticed a lot of you have been sending me “instant messages.”  But I’m a busy guy!  Today I’m doing a science experiment to see if sentry-bats that vomit acid are more effective than ones that shoot sonic waves from their eyeballs!  THE ACID PUKE IS A FESTIVE RED AND GREEN!

Anyway, I don’t have time to ~chat~ with any of you right now.  SO JUST GO SIT AROUND YOUR TOTEM TREE AND WORSHIP CAPITALISM.  Later, mortals!

((Honeybee Says:  Bill’s a rude butthead, but I do want to remind everybody that this blog is NOT accepting asks through fanmail or instant message.  And, since Kittycat and I both have jobs and stuff, we, and Bill, can’t chat via the message system either.  Sorry!  The blog is tied to Kittycat’s account and she says she’s been getting a lot of messages lately, either to Bill or to us.  Please don’t do that!  Thanks, much obliged, and happy holidays!))