Xisuma looked away shyly, and took a shaky breath.
“As an Athena kid, I’m naturally not very good with the emotional side of things. I look at facts, variables, causes and effects, but the complexities of emotions are impossible to pin down. People say they fit into these neat little boxes, but they don’t. They’re wild and nuanced, and sometimes you don’t realize you’re feeling something because it's different for you than everyone else.
When I came to camp, I didn’t think I knew what love was. But then, I met you."
He scrunched his eyes shut, afraid to meet Keralis' gaze.
"You tackled everything with a smile. You were- and still are- diplomatic, cheerful, caring, and just, this wonderful force of joy that can worm its way into anyone’s heart.
I still don’t know how it happened, but somehow we got to know each other. When I became the head counselor of my cabin, we’d bounce ideas off each other at meetings and solve dilemmas that impressed even your father. Then, we started running camp together.
I found myself more relaxed around you, and before I knew it, I was letting down my guard. I felt so comfortable in your presence, so warm, and for the longest time," He lets out a stuttering laugh, "I just thought that feeling was what friendship was.
Then, when the camp was thrown into chaos after Grian went missing and Jimmy… died, you were so upset and I vividly remember looking at you and realizing how much I wanted to protect you. I know it sounds silly, but that night I lied in bed and mulled over that thought a lot. It took me a while to figure out what it was.
When I finally did, I figured I’d just keep it in for the time being, seeing as there were a lot of problems in camp at the time, so I pushed it down.
Then, afterwards, in the midst of the root beer incident, I received your first love letter. I was so scared at first, because what if it was from another well-meaning camper I didn’t even know? If it was, I didn’t want to out them, so I tried my hardest to keep the note secret. And, well, you know how that turned out. Deep down, I hoped that it was from you, but I was so worried that it wasn’t that I didn’t even want to find out.
A week or so later, and I got your second note. It was thrilling, to consider the fact that it could have been from you, but I couldn’t imagine that you’d reciprocate my feelings. After all, you’re so friendly to everyone, you could have blown me a kiss and I’d have chalked it up to your sunny personality."
His voice got quiet, and he looked down at his hands, fidgeting nervously.
"Finally, there was the incident earlier today. I’m still not sure why I grabbed your hand, but as soon as I realized that I had, I began spiraling. It wasn’t until Scott began teasing you that I realized you just as much of a flustered mess as I was.
For the longest time I was told what love was, that it would feel passionate and burn hot like a fire. But, nobody told me it could feel warm and comforting, like sunlight.
When I came to camp, I didn’t think I knew what love was. But he was standing right in front of me the whole time."
Xisuma took a deep breath.
"Keralis, I really like you. Would- would you like to be my boyfriend?”
