Fighting a firebender SHOULD leave you all sweaty and ashy actually

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@aslovefromlies
Fighting a firebender SHOULD leave you all sweaty and ashy actually
Most of my fellow creatives are familiar with the flavor of imposter syndrome that insists we aren't that great at our chosen skill. We can point to other people doing aspects way better, or who are more successful etc. Hopefully we know we're not bad.
Anyway, approaching from another angle, when do you know that you're "okay"? And is that enough?
Oh man am I Going Through It right now.
I basically stopped drawing a few years ago in part because of this. Life got lifey and my art was bringing me stress because I felt that pressure of not being good enough, of not progressing quick enough, of not posting enough and I just... stopped.
As a result my tolerance for the bad stuff got tiny. I was stuck in a cycle of wanting to draw -> drawing something shitty -> getting frustrated that my first attempt in months was not on level with where it "should" be -> not drawing. A LOT of it was comparing myself with an older version of myself that drew more frequently, not just comparing myself to other artists. I basically had impostor syndrome against myself.
Last year I looked through my backups of all my old art files and I noticed that a vast majority of what I used to draw was on that same "shitty" level, I just liked drawing enough that I didn't care. I kept on drawing anyways. Back then I wasn't trying to make things good, I was just drawing to draw. Every once in a while I made something that I got lost in, and those usually became the things I posted(aside from commissions). Every artist I see that talks about this says something to the effect of "artists only really post their best work", but it hadn't emotionally sunk in that the things that those artists don't post are things they think are shitty. It's the exact same emotion.
Eventually I realized that what I was seeking wasn't the feeling of having made something "good", it was the feeling of looking up at the clock and realizing I'd been drawing for five hours straight. It was the feeling of putting a line down and the sensation that I was reaching through the canvas into a different world to sculpt something with that line. I usually ended up thinking those drawings were good, but that was incidental, it was a consequence of letting myself get lost in drawing. My impostor syndrome and lack of tolerance for my "bad" art was really the only thing that was stopping me from getting to that feeling again.
tbh I'm still not fully out of the funk, but the big thing that let me pick pick the stylus again was at least partially letting go of the idea that my art has to be good. Hell, a lot of the things I really love in other art styles are things that I find myself critiquing in my own art when I get into that mentality. It's all bullshit.
Right now the goal I have when I sit down to draw isn't to make something of any quality (great or good or okay or bad), it's to let myself get lost in the act of drawing. If I'm not vibing with something then I'll draw something else until I eventually hit on something that lets me get lost. Learning to tolerate the shitty art, being okay with the idea that I will make stuff I don't like. Sometimes I'll go back to an old sketch and pick it up again, sometimes those sketches just get abandoned and that's fine.
I have a whole other tangent on the commodification of art and hobbies that are intrinsically part of the human experience, but this is long enough already ha. I do wanna say though that if the point of making art is to make something that looks good or even okay, then AI "art" would have value. Making art isn't about being a good artist, it's about being human and experiencing stuff through the process of creation, and sharing that with other humans.
fuck, I just realized that if I spend my life being too intimated to make art then that means I don't even get to make bad art. I end up making NO art. that's way worse
normalize being dogshit amateur at your special interests and hyperfocuses. no more autistic savants. yes i am very into that topic no i am not good at it. we exist <3
I started writing a book! For like 6 months now i've spent a couple hours every other day or so writing and guess what! It sucks!
a quick tt sketch feat her favorite power-up: gun!
At a friends birthday today, we all got a tiny little canvas and sat around a table to do our thing. It's been ages since I've painted traditionally and, let me tell you, not having the option to zoom in and hyper focus on every tiny little detail was so FREEING. Great dynamic overall, highly recommend.
Another old old commission! This one was really sweet, it was a gift and was actually printed out in a HUGE format and framed and I still can't believe it's up on somebody's wall somewhere in Ireland.
SUPER old Mother of Learning commission that I realized I never uploaded here for some reason
Sketch dump
I've been feeling the pressure of needing my art to be "good" recently, especially since I've been not really drawing for a while. SO here's a bunch of bad, unfinished, or otherwise abandoned sketches to try to convince my brain that I'm not gonna get fired from tumblr dot com if my drawings aren't good.
I've even been thinking about starting a new art account just to avoid the whole "being perceived" part of all this, but that feels kinda like running away, so. Perceive.
I did what I was told//but I was a man born invisible
You are the MVP when it comes to depicting canon scenes in all their vivid glory
Aaah thank you so much! I have a lot of fun going in and rereading scenes to try to get the details and the vibes right.
Also posting something this visceral feels really vulnerable for some reason, so all the love is really appreciated <3
Both depictions I've seen (mine included) were more abstract, so it's just beautiful to see a realistic take on the Vivisection.. And the details like Taylor's shadow falling over the scene ughh it really feels like we're there.
HOLY SHIT ITS YOU
I tried to look up art of this scene once I was close to finished to see other peoples takes on it, and was surprised to see there wasn't much, but was absolutely floored by your interpretation of it. I actually still have it open cuz I haven't closed all my tabs yet, I was thinking in the back of my mind to remember to follow you but we're already mutuals hahaha. I have no idea how that post (and all your rendered horror stuff actually holly shit) passed me by.
You are the MVP when it comes to depicting canon scenes in all their vivid glory
Aaah thank you so much! I have a lot of fun going in and rereading scenes to try to get the details and the vibes right.
Also posting something this visceral feels really vulnerable for some reason, so all the love is really appreciated <3
"Oh.... Brian." CW: Body horror below the break.
eidolon LED lights in his hood got busted during fight. now he has to use one power slot to glow
but like the light is this really specific type of green light idk if HP has anything like that in store. maybe he should teleport back home to grab his spare costume, change then teleport back so he doesn't have to waste a slot to keep himself glowing. or use a power to tinker up some lights then get back in the fight.
i guess in a pinch he could light himself on fire with cool green flames then use a slot to make him and his costume invincible
So to sum up: 1 slot for lighting himself on fire 1 slot for making his costume invulnerable 1 slot for making his calves thick as hell (see recent @aslovefromlies art) 1 slot for the weakest power imaginable to give his opponent a little zap and he has a jetpack!
lmaooo this tracks
Eidolon. I learned a lot from this one.
a dtiys from insta, easily one of my favorite things I've drawn this year
okay I'm done stalking your blog, I LOVE your Taylor btw I think I'm gonna change how I draw her a bit based on your design
Oh my goodness thank u that’s so kind of you to say !!! (lovelove your paintings btw really incredible work jeje)
I gotta be real I did not expect all the love on how I draw Taylor, she’s just so neat and teenagery. I think a big part of the reason I’ve really liked worm is because so many of them are described as average, pretty realistic looking people, or even societally unattractive. I’m someone who’s gotten really frustrated in recent years with how, in mainstream media, everyone has to be so perfect and cookie cutter beautiful and how being pretty and fawned over is attributed to so many Blorbos. The Undersiders aren’t exactly described as hideous either, and I personally find them very pretty, but they’re real kids you know ? They got their little quirks and it’s very fun to try to bring to life the mental image the descriptions give me
Neat and teenagery is a great way of putting it haha.
I agree, I've also had that same sentiment on media portraying characters as almost alien levels of pretty, but I guess I haven't internalized it enough to let my drawings be "unappealing". Ironically I think letting them have their own flair makes them much more appealing characters than just having them be different types of conventionally attractive.
I had a moment of recognition with your Taylor, because like, yeah of course that's her. She's neat and teenagery and kinda awkward and traumatized and under a lot of stress and in over her head like 90% of the time. Of course that's what she looks like.