Viv terms : fox/canine. please refrain from speaking about my anatomy like that of a humans.
kins : the concept of a thunderstorm on a summer's afternoon hitting warm asphalt, grey fox, weeping angel, angel, will Graham, koschei
kinsidering : something aquatic
I am a minor^^
I interact from @sherbertfish as it is my main blog
I do not have a dni just be nice
more in depth written intro underneath.
in depth intro : hii. I'm asphalt but I have a few names so you may call me those as well. I'm a nonhuman I have been since birth and I awakened about 3 years ago but I lost my old blogs and never bothered to revamp them. my identity is very messy right now and I'm looking to use this blog as a diary of sorts to work myself out. I used to identify as a lot of things but over the years i have felt myself stop being them. I know for sure that I am a grey fox and the concept of a thunderstorm on a summer's afternoon hitting warm concrete but basically everything else is up in the air. I am kinsidering quite a few things tho. I am pretty confident I am some type of aquatic creature and I am also likely a weeping angel, humanoid avian or a statue, leaning towards a weeping angel. I have also been kinsidering a deity of some kind. I would consider myself a boy but not in the way that a human is. my pronouns are it/it's and that/that's but you may use he/him if so desired. I am going to try to post a diary entry everyday with something to do with my nonhumanity. this may not happen but I will try. I will also post generally about myself and my existence. I hope you have fun here.
this song is very important to me so have fun listening to it while reading about a random animal on the internet <3
Good day, I am back after many months of absence, school and other obligations have hindered my ability to post but I hope to continue this blog.
As it has been so long this will act as something of an update post, my life has changed a fair amount since my disappearance.
I have gained a few fiction kins, I am somewhat plural in the way that I experience this and I consider myself to be some kind of ethereal being. I have yet to understand what kind but I am certainly not anymore human than I was before. I believe that I have been lost as a human, stuck inside the body of one without knowledge of my life before but I have no doubts it will come back to me. I seem to have been somewhat powerful from the memories and knowledge I do hold of this time but other than that I have not the information to form a conclusion.
I happen to experience some kind of plurality as previously mentioned, I do have past experience as a plural but I will not get into it as it is quite a long story. My identity is fragmented enough for it to be noticeable and it appears to me that these many facets of myself have taken on traits of characters of which I have become attached to or care for. The most present of all being koschei from doctor who, will Graham and potentially bill cipher.
I believe these to be less so sys/headmates and closer to facets of one being, the main of which seems to be a carefully curated mask. I am sure there are others I have not discovered but I will eventually detail a list of my facets. (please correct me if the term I have selected is used in a medical setting, I do not consider myself to be a disordered plural and I would not like to take a term from them)
I went on a walk with my father today, not much else but I've been doing some reflection about my supposed weeping angel kin. I definitely relate to them a lot. I've only ever truly enjoyed attention when I'm acting as a character other than that I prefer to be alone and not noticed. I tend to freeze in situations of high stress and I always have. being still and unnoticed has been one of my biggest defence mechanisms throughout life whether it's at school or home. I also never particularly liked being made up of flesh and I have also admired and been envious of stone statues my whole life. another factor to consider would be that I have always had very strong wing shifts, I never knew what they were from. I used to say and believe I was an owl or a dragon because my wings felt very connected to hunting and predatory behaviours as well as my preferred solitude and nocturnal behaviours and instincts but thinking about it now it would make sense for it to be connected to a weeping angel rather than what I thought at the time. I may be kinfirming this soon but I'm going to give myself some extra time to think about this
I had a good time at the beach today. being Christmas in Australia my family goes to a bay near us every year. I spent most of my time in the water and collecting rocks in said water. I'm unsure if it had anything to do with instinct but it was very calming to be in a more suitable environment for myself and it did feel like an instinctual act. I was surprisingly territorial of these stones too. I kept them on me the whole time I was there and they've been sitting next to me in my room the whole time I've been In here.
