It pays off when someone dares to assassinate you. You take a bite of the poisoned food, and pass the plate to Mortarion because it tastes "off". Mortarion asks for the person/persons who made your food, and make them each take a bite.
If you're having a family dinner, diplomatic meeting, what have you, with dinner guests...
He makes them watch as the perpetrators struggle to live.
I just imagined...uh an episode where the primarchs are like...brain dead exhausted after the Great Crusade (horus heresy didn't happen) So like they are reunited in idk the Bucephalus in utter despair....
That 3 AM brain dead stupidity hits hard
The Lion is half sleeping half standing
Fulgrim is mindlessly looking at his polished armor wuth nothing going on in his brain
Perturabo and Dorn are like..discussing whether the floor is made of materials or...Floor Materials
Russ was trying to drink Mjoln but ended up sitting on the floor with a spoon spinning the liquid with saliva trailing down his chin looking deadass non present
Curze is...curze
Sanguinius hunched sitting on the floor and is counting his feathers but looses the numbers half way and starts again
Manus is crowching and loosely picking at the scrapes of a sword trying to put it together
Angron is too tired for the nails to even remotely give him anger issues and is laying stomach down on the floor
Guilliman is sitting near Russ and has a dataslate in hand but forgot the password
Idk that's it for now, this is a product of my fever
Primarchs being haunted by the death of their lover
Just imagine the Primarchs knowing that you’re gone but always seeing you in their peripheral vision, still dreaming about you while your death is fresh, sometimes outright seeing phantoms that are a manifestation of their grief but then realizing they have just been talking to empty air. Just imagine:
Primarch: “Where have you been!? It’s been three months! Do you know how worried I was? Why are you silent? Answer me!”
Astartes: “Father..who are you talking to?”
The Lion feeling like he’s losing his mind as he walks around the hallways, hearing laughter that is too similiar to yours, phrases that you had said to him and him alone and following the trail leads him only to servants that shatter the illusion of familiarity instantly, making him wonder what he had heard.
Fulgrim trying to immortalize you in his work, saying “I wont let it end like that” under his breath because he sees your phantom behind every corner but not your face. Never your face. The memory of a Primarch should be flawless so why can’t he remember the color of your eyes?
Perturabo throwing himself into his work because the alternative would be to confront your death. In the dim light of his workshop he will ask you to pass a tool, getting annoyed that you don’t answer him and look up only to find himself alone. The iron he had tempered for so long finally showed cracks.
Rogal has buried his grief and tries desperately to move on, knowing that he could not change your fate but ever now and then he would call a serf by your name with a surprised voice before apologizing and returning to his stoic demeanor. He will never admit how often he sees your face in passing servants.
Konrad yelling and cursing at you at night as reality and his visions blur together, wishing he would’ve never met you or at least have gotten rid of you himself. Your death has taken something from him and he demands it back but when he calls your name there is never an answer.
Sanguinius calling out “My love?” in that desperate hopeful voice as he hears rustling in your room, that has remained untouched ever since you left, rushing in to see you sitting in your favorite spot but finding it empty, only the curtains swishing softly with the wind.
Vulkan talking to a merchant as a trinket caught his eyes, getting roped into a conversation and telling the man how his lover would enjoy that gift but trailing off near the end. He buys it anyway even if you have lost the capacity to enjoy anything and puts it on your grave even if it hurt him more than you.
Corvus knew that searching for solace in shadows was a fools errand but why did it feel like you were still watching over him? He would not find you, you would not manifest before him and he would not be able to pull you out of the shadows but what would one more corner do?
Guilliman outright yelling at you asking where you have been, relief and hope filling him before being interrupted by one of his sons. He never talked about the outburst and made sure it would not happen again in public. It was unbecoming of a Primarch. It was time to accept that he was indeed alone.
Leman seeing you standing in a storm on Fenris, barely visible in the distance but he would always recognize you, yelling for you to come inside to join him and desperate to reach you before you would freeze but everytime he reaches the spot it’s empty with no footprints around, crushing any hope he had.
Jaghatai nearly crashing his jet bike as he could’ve sworn he had seen your face among the civilians but never finding you. His head moves around trying to catch a glimpse before resignation fills him that it had been just his imagination. It’s a heavy pill to swallow that he will never find you again.
Ferrus having to make a double take every time he passes a corpse on the battlefield as he could’ve sworn it looked like you. He knows it can’t be you but why does the face look so similar, why is the hair just the right shade, the body just the right size and when will he stop seeing you in every casualty?
Magnus being plagued by dreams where no matter how much he calls after you, you never turn around and no matter how much he runs after you he never reaches you. He always begs you to wait for him for just a moment but you always go to a place where he can’t follow you.
Angron putting his hand on the bed, clutching the sheets where you used to be and in his half asleep, pain addled state he would feel the phantom touch of your hand on his and refusing to open his eyes since he knew the sensation would disappear and he hoped he would never have to wake up again.
Mortarion talking to himself in a calm voice when he works, explaining what he is doing and what he tries to achieve, his voice so fond before he looks up at the spot where you used to sit, but only seeing the plant he had gifted you years ago. It was a poor substitute but it was all he had left of you.
Horus sometimes letting his façade slip asking “is that right, my love?” before his lips turn into a fine line when he realizes that no answer would come. His sons pretend not to notice the slip up but each of them knows that things had not been alright with the warmaster for quite some time.
Lorgar chasing you through the whose shrine as your shadow appears behind every corner, calling out to you until he arrives at your grave where the chase always ends. Falling to his knees he would whisper “please give me one more chance” even if he knew that you were deaf to his prayers.
Alpharius and Omegon would never admit it to anyone but they often feel your presence long after you’re gone. As if someone is standing close to them they look down out of habit, wanting to address someone that is not there before stopping themselves and acting like nothing happened.
Tag List: @subtlepoisonknowledge @beckyninja @jackalwolfsoul @stpdeletacc @randomlyappearingartist @celestia042 @the-mysterious-detective @tomatojellyfish @catabibaz0n @ladycoraxofficial @yyourmotherr @warhorny-on-main @primarchpenissucker @thaddeusthebee @honestlychoppedglitter @aggressivemenaceowo @emps-with-a-steel-chair (Everyone can be added, just ask in the comments!)
Fuuuuck dude I got drunk last night and tried to take down the villain on my own and now he’s texting me some ‘I’m the only one allowed to defeat you’ shit bro what do I do
Primarch's being bad at relationships in their own unique ways in no particular order and just for funsies.
-----
Dating Perturabo means accepting that you will never get to speak to another man again in your lifetime. Jealousy is a way of life with him.
Being with Lion similarly means no privacy. This man *is* the surveillance state. No secrets here. For you I mean. He still has plenty.
Russ loves being the life of the party and making others laugh and feel comfortable. This will absolutely come at your expense from time to time as he shares details of your relationship or anecdotes about you that you don't want him to. Not above thoughtlessly embarassing you in front of his friends.
Guilliman is maybe the most standard of the Primarchs, but, to no one's surprise, his schedule is the other woman in your relationship and you are not the priority here.
Fulgrim is hot and cold - obsessive and adoring one moment and frostily ignoring you the next for seemingly small slights.
Horus has the same problem as Russ but to a worse degree. The moment he is in *charm* mode you no longer exist to him. At parties & meetings he is working the crowd and you get to be his invisible shadow.
Angron's temper doesn't really need much more explaining. Whether he wants to or not this man is kicking holes in walls and breaking your stuff.
Konrad is killing your pets 100%. Think Wuthering Heights "I strung up her dog" scene. Do not date this man.
Jaghatai is putting your life in danger with stupid stunts just because he's an adrenaline junkie who thinks consequences are for other people.
Sanguinius is extremely emotionally manipulative. He is gaslight gatekeep girlbossing his way to whatever he wants and it's pretty easy to see why everyone around him gives in with no effort.
Magnus 100% thinks he's smarter than you (and everyone else). And hey maybe he's right, but he doesn't have to be such a prick about it. Will absolutely correct you in public in front of your friends.
Corvus refuses to share or communicate his feelings. More importantly he accepts any sharing from you with the emotional care of a fax machine. This is just information to him.
Alpharius/Omegon think they're far more entertaining than they are and the constant pranks in your relationship are gonna get old quick.
Being with Lorgar is like being with an emotionally stunted youth pastor. He sees you as more of a follower or devotee than as a partner.
Ferrus uses the silent treatment as punishment. Do something he doesn't like and he's treating you like a piece of furniture until you apologize.
Dorn accepts your input but only so that he can show you why he's always right. He doesn't expect everyone to instantly understand that his way is the best way, but he's certain that you'll soon see that it is.
Vulkan is always willing to compromise with others *on your behalf* to keep the peace. A lot of unintentional gaslighting of the "surely you misunderstood" and "I'm sure it wasn't that bad" variety.
Mortarion is a downer about everything all the time. You are managing his moods constantly and find yourself performing excitement and joy just to get him to react with anything other than pessimism.
