赤の蛇

fiance; Bokuto child; Akaashi housing; 4.017 || job; Librarian

[asterischi]

[ text ] I didn’t think it was possible to out-gay me, but than I met you

TO: NezumiFROM: Shion

[ txt ] uhh[ txt ] I'll take it as a compliment?[ txt ] thanks 

[unmeme]

marriage.txt meme

[ text ] since ur so obsessed w me im letting u marry me, so lets do this thing u punk ass geek nerd. [ text ] i cant wait to toucj u babes [ text ] I am inspired by your words and feels [ text ] I wrote you a very in depth vow, but my FUCKING SHIT PHONE ERASED IT [ text ] You’re gay, I’m gay, can I make it any more obvious? [ text ] Will you do me the honor of becoming my Virtual Wife and Empress of my Myspace? [ text ] marry me? Also im gay. So. [ text ] will you marryyy meeesss and pet my furr down for the rest of my days…?? [ text ] ENOUGH TO MISS YOU INCREDIBLE WHENWE ARE APART, NO MATTER WHAT LENGHT OFTIME ITS FOR AND REGARDLESS OFTHE D [ text ] But i really don care bout anyone else Except mom and dad. lol. [ text ] Marry me, my dark emo prince [ text ] I WANT us to always be friends until where like DEADDDLEZ. Your muh besty friend ever. [ text ] I didn’t think it was possible to out-gay me, but than I met you [ text ] Yolo. Let us commence marriage. Swaggie out stay turnt. [ text ] I know we just met a few short hours ago, but I fell in love with you as SOON as I saw your face [ text ] till death do us part or a viagra prescription runs out [ text ] i just want to do kinky shit [ text ] Hi Baby,Cant stop laughing…SO we are rally doing this, yea(LOL). [ text ] im marrying you as a friend DO NOT THINK i am a lesbian because is it as a friend!!!!!!!!!!! [ text ] b my friendhold mewrap me upunfold mei am smalland needywarm me upand BREATHE ME [ text ] will you be my anime boyfriend [ text ] Idk what Im supposed to put here ok [ text ] I know our relationship is complicated but [ text ] [you better say yes dammnit] [ text ] We can roleplay K-pop boys together. [ text ] When I first met you I thought you looked kinda okay. Since then my affection for you has somewhat grown. [ text ] I fell in love with you at fifteenth sight. The first fourteen times, you made fun of me [ text ] my mom dosent have to know abou this [ text ] marry me bruh [ text ] I Love you…Bowser. [ text ] Lets learn to breakdance together and jump out of planes together when we e 65 [ text ] I know I only known you for two days but [ text ] NO HOMO

[izukacchan]

a story of a complex emotional heart wrenching relationship….bees taking over the government and destroying the city?? open your eyes

[asterischi]

Do you want to know who's beautiful? Read the first word again. ;)

"You're ... Really out of practice.. Aren't you?"

[asterischi]

**puts fingers on ur nip nops** Hey, here's Nezumi, comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?

warm front, (n.)

The forward edge of an advancing mass of warm air that rises over and replaces a retreated mass of cooler air. As it rises, the warm air cools, and the water vapor in it condenses, usually forming a steady rain, sleet, or snow. On a weather map, a warm front is depicted as a red line with half circles whose curved sides point in the direction in which the warm air is moving.

[inboxstuff]

Send my muse cheesy pick-up lines for their reaction

[asterischi]

[ text ] i hope you’re sleeping good, because i’m punching you square in the face later

[ text ] this entire text is making everything very counterproductive... 

[ text ] since... you kind of woke me up 

[ text ] thanks.. 

[asterischi]

dudedontnamemyrats replied to your post:[ text ] if you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we’re fighting.

thats exactly right shion. good job. im glad you know where to stick your bits

very funny 

[asterischi]

[ text ] He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.

[ text ] uh... Well....

[ text ] if any of you harmed have severe burns I suggest you stop the burning first.. Smother any of the flames covering the persons and

[ text ] if your clothes are on fire, stop, drop, and roll of course and smother those flames. look for injuries and not just burns sin

[ text ] ce there may be injuries that isn't just the burn. don't forget to remove anything such as jewelry, or clothing that's on, or near the burn. if anything is stuck to the burn, don

[ text ] t remove it

[ text ] cover the burn with clean, dry cloth so you don't get infection. make sure a doctor asses your burn before you try to treat it with med

[ text ] icine, ICE CAN MAYBE CAUSE MORE DAMAGE TO SKIN TISSUE DO NOT USE ICE 

[ text ] ... Do I need to go over anything else? 

[asterischi]

[ text ] if you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we’re fighting.

[ text ] uhm

[ text ] nezumi...

[ text ] it's not suppose to go there... 

[asterischi]

[ text ] You broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.

[ text ] ... was I suppose to just wait outside... ?

[ text ] I'm sure I knocked

[ text ] I think ...

[asterischi]

[ text ] STOP SENDING ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED!! THIS VIOLATES THE FRIEND ZONE AGREEMENT

[ text ] WH....  WHAT DO YOU MEAN...? 

[ text ] ... IT WASN'T ME....!? 

[unmeme]

TFLN meme part 4.

[ text ] i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar. [ text ] the stripper told you to sort your life out [ text ] This has to be the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had sober and in the middle of the day. [ text ] When you licked the fourth stranger’s cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out. [ text ] He said he had bite marks on his back… Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant. [ text ] STOP SENDING ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED!! THIS VIOLATES THE FRIEND ZONE AGREEMENT [ text ] i hope you’re sleeping good, because i’m punching you square in the face later [ text ] I don’t remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glow in the dark condoms [ text ] The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers [ text ] You broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked. [ text ] you told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. then you landed on your face after falling down the stairs [ text ] if you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we’re fighting. [ text ] you smell like sex and bad life choices [ text ] Remember when she hit me with her car by accident? Well, apparently it wasn’t an accident. [ text ] so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat. [ text ] He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days. [ text ] He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick [ text ] Please tell me I’m in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am. [ text ] you cried to me about your relationship and trust issues during our post sex spooning [ text ] i feel this outfit says i’m better than you, but im also kind of willing to do whatever you say. [ text ] You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, “In the zone.” I think they know.

[doingwell]

It’s been far too long since I’ve posted an owl, or a dozen.

Prints available! https://www.etsy.com/listing/196436995/owls-art-print-great-horned-owl?ref=listing-0

[asterischi]

spit it out!

“Uh, excuse me… Can you stop for a moment-”

This is kind of awkward, but he had nothing to lose. Or so he thought… Maybe. He bites his lip, and hesitates before speaking again- since this is, kind of uh…

“Does the carpet match the drapes?”

…

For science.

[asterischi]

sPIT on me dont do that just spit it out

"Nezumi..."

Why is being told such weird things so suddenly. This doesn't even make sense, is it confession hour? It still doesn't make sense, why would such an event happen so suddenly without it being scheduled. He isn't prepared for this.

Well.

"I am a cannibal..."

[sidestuiff]

Send 'SPIT IT OUT!' and I'll randomly generate a number. Whatever number it is, my muse will blur it out to you!

It’s gonna be a mixed bag. Go with caution!

Numbers: 1 - 50

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