troubleshooting spotty spirit connections/"godphoning"
This post is full of my personal UPGs and stuff. These are just my beliefs and what works for me. YMMV.
It takes them a lot of energy to come through to us. Feed them and help them get across the veil.
Have you ever done a big tarot reading and got really drained? Or focused really intensely on a spirit guide meditation that left you feeling lightheaded and hungry? When we connect to the spirit world it is tiring and energy-intensive. There is no reason to believe that connection on their end is any easier.
A lot of rhetoric gets tossed around that spirits and guides are so powerful and life-changing, etc. And this might be true, but I think it gets construed in a way where we assume that because they're so powerful, it must be very easy for them to appear to us - so any failure of communication is squarely on our shoulders.
This is unfair to both them and us.
Your offerings aren't just token gestures. You are actually providing energy to your spirits - dense, earthy energies they need in order to be able to come through to our world. Fresh water is refreshing and polite, but not really energizing. Food offerings are especially helpful.
This is the point of spirit houses and spirit vessels. You create a sacred object or space aligned to a spirit's energies, and invite them to come inside of it and use it as they please. As a magic-worker, your words of dedication and consecration make a literal foothold for that spirit to more easily come to our world. This also provides a place for the spirit to rest and relax as they speak to you.
Liminal times and spaces make it easier for us to reach the spirit world, and therefore easier for them to reach us. Taking actions such as laying a compass, casting a circle, or reaching trance states can actually be extremely helpful. It's not about "spirits are dangerous so cast a circle first," and it's not about "you have to meditate and clear your mind" (trance can be achieved ecstatically, after all). It's about creating or entering into in-between spaces where our worlds more easily meet.
If you primarily use tools to communicate with spirits, cleanse and charge them more regularly. The spirits can direct the energy within your tools instead of having to use their own.
If you're already using spirit vessels or houses, try gently cleaning them and re-consecrating them. Provide as much energy as you can to the spirit at that time, so that they can more strongly imprint upon the vessel.
Stop trying to talk to them all of the time.
Spirits are people too. They shouldn't be treated like invisible humans with cool new skins, but that doesn't mean they don't have autonomy and personhood.
Spirits exist independently of us and they don't disappear and go into the void when we stop paying attention to them. They are living their own lives. Even if you believe the spirits do revolve around you, at some point they have to leave to go find information you're asking about, or review the strands of fate to make sure you're headed in the right direction, or whatever.
You don't expect your human friends to be on call 24/7 and it's rude and inconsiderate to just assume all spirits are going to want to communicate with you every single time you want to communicate with them.
No, the point of this is not "you're clingy and the spirits need space."
The point is that if you're just picking up the spirit phone at any random time, of course some of your communication will "fail" because they're not free to answer!
You might be blaming yourself for having unreliable psychic abilities when the reality is that you're just sending a FaceTime request at a bad time.
It is my experience that this is true even of gods. Sometimes I walk by the shrine of my primary god and it's just empty - he's not there right now. It's not because he hates me or because my psychism failed. He's probably off chasing nymphs or something, he'll be back later.
Try setting a schedule with the spirits if possible, such as determining what time(s) of day they're free to talk, what days of the week or moon phases they're usually free or busy, and so on.
You have times when you're more or less attuned to communication, too. The most random stuff can make psychic senses go haywire. For some, a strong cup of coffee will turn off their second sight like flipping a switch. If you try to get more of a schedule going, it will be a lot easier for you to control the variables contributing to your successes or failures. It's not fair for you to assume your psychic senses are static and you should just be able to turn them on at any time you want.
Give them a good reason to talk to you.
There are many kinds of spirits. Some we primarily interact with as friends and companions. For them, the reason for them to talk to you is that you're cool, interesting, and they want to spend time with you (all your friends think that about you! I promise!).
Other spirits can hold a much more spiritual or tutelary role in our life. When they speak, they have something important to say - and they're not necessarily going to let that be drowned out by everyday chatter.
Have you ever done a tarot reading you didn't like or understand, and then re-drew the spread to ask again? And the second time made even less sense?
Talking to spiritual teachers can be like that. They tell you something important, and they're not necessarily going to rephrase it. The problem with spiritual teachers and guides is that you still have to be the student and the explorer.
I have often communicated with the gods and spirits of other people. In these situations, I do my best to give them a really good reason to want to talk to me. "Hello, gods and spirits of [client]. I am helping [client] with [their question/problem]. I will be empty, and you can speak through me. I'll do my very best to clearly share everything you want them to know."
No matter what, though, spirits might just not want to talk. And that's ok.
Ask yourself the kinds of relationships you have with the spirits and beings you're attempting communication with. Having a very close and fulfilling relationship with a spirit doesn't mean it's appropriate to treat them like a casual friend (just as I can have a very fulfilling relationship with a professional mentor, but it's still inappropriate for me to call them at 3am after some wine).
Keep an eye on the intention of your communications. Are you unable to "find" your guide when it's about an important spiritual question, but they show up just to chat? Or vice-versa? Ask why a spirit might choose to not respond to some types of communication.
I find that spiritual guides can get irritable and non-responsive if you continually request communication without applying their advice.
In the case of spirits who are primarily friends/companions, try thinking of a fun activity for the two of you to do together, or something interesting to show them. Spirits enjoy novelty, too. Maybe you could read a new book together :)
Conversational skills transcend dimensions.
There is a difference between requesting communication and just vibing with a spirit's vibes.
When you want to communicate with the spirits, do you actually think, say, or sign, "hi, it's me, I want to talk to you today about [topic]"? Or do you just kinda show up like, "I'm here, so... yeah."
I like vibing with the vibes. I like sitting quietly with people and spirits and just existing with them. But I wouldn't sit quietly in the vibes and then say, "okay, so you're just not going to talk to me??"
Other things like manners go an incredibly long way. Spirits have a concept of boundaries and politeness - some more than others.
Active listening and critical thinking helps a lot too (and it's a great way to strengthen relationships with other humans!). Make sure you're treating spirits like a conversation partner, and not a novelty toy that spits out mystic answers to your questions.
One of the best ways to bond through communication is to create the space for the other person to share their thoughts. It's more than reasonable to show up to a spirit with a question.
But if you redirect the conversation always to be what you want to talk about, think your senses are going haywire just because a spirit is showing you something that isn't what you asked about, or only want to talk about yourself or your problems - it's not reasonable to expect that 100% of spirits want to be a part of 100% of those conversations.
Try approaching every spirit communication with clear intent. Just wanting to chat and hang out is more than okay, but be upfront with your interests and needs.
Try asking the spirits if they're free to talk and if they're interested in talking about what you want to discuss.
Make time and space for the spirits to bring up their own topics.
Employ manners at all times, even if you think your communication effort failed. Please, thank you, hello, and goodbye are powerful words.
Be open to the idea that the spirit might not want to talk about your question or your problem, and that they might have something to share with you that doesn't appear to directly benefit you.
