what we do in the shadows - season 2 sentence starters part 1
change tenses/pronouns as needed !!
tw : death , language , nsfw
‘I had what is known as a summer of self discovery.’
‘I spent so much time at the DMV they finally just gave me a license.’
‘not much new with me. I’ve been spending a lot more time in the upstairs bathroom.’
‘that’s the tenth vampire I’ve killed this month.’
‘can you dust more quietly please? I’m trying to sleep.’
‘I haven’t slept in 72 hours.’
‘I’ve been eating these chocolate - covered expresso beans. they give you enough pep just to keep going and just keep going, going, going and pretend … ahh!‘
‘did you make a messy toilet again?’
‘you should really drink more water.’
‘I feel like there’s a way to be cool – which you are, you’re very cool … and also, respectful.’
‘you need to let them know that you are worthy of being turned into a vampire someday.’
‘to be honest, I don’t really care about being a vampire.’
‘I know you’re trying to bore me.’
‘did you happen to let two vampires into the house?’
‘I don’t mean to be hard on you but it’s important you follow the rules for everyone’s safety.’
‘have you tried turning it off and back on again?’
‘I’m just saying that it wouldn’t hurt to be more cautious and alert.’
‘enough of this! this is horse piss!’
‘it’s a classic necromancer scam.’
‘this one would make a good gift for a man named steve.’
‘he is not dead. although sometimes we wish he was.’
*fake coughing* ‘I told you so.’
‘firstly – and I’m not naming names – but I have recently noticed that the house reeks of decaying flesh and there are dead birds everywhere.’
‘he waits under my bed and tries to bite me.’
‘I think he might be a zombie.’
‘I have to constantly survey the perimeter.’
‘sorry, buddy, but you were trying to kill me.’
‘you’re being really rude right now!’
‘your screaming disturbed me from my slumber.’
‘shit he’s taken it up a notch, that’s worse than before.’
‘there’s no such thing as ghosts.’
‘I’m sorry, vampires are real but ghosts are not?’
‘hey, everybody, look at my enormous crystal balls.’
‘maybe these ghosts will bring with them some updog.’
‘you have ruined the séance with your toilet potty poo - poo - mouth humor!’
‘sorry for not taking you seriously, my darling.’
‘now now, he was just doing his husbandly duties.’
‘there’s a fucking ghost on the front lawn.’
‘I couldn’t believe it myself but what mine own eyes have seen, mine own eyes have seen.’
‘I pretended I couldn’t see it, which will give us the element of surprise.’
‘my unfinished business, how it torments me.’
‘yeah, I’m not positive what my deal is either, so I just sort of keep on truckin’.’
‘he seems very agitated and restless.’
‘how can I help you finish your unfinished business?’
‘sounds like somebody has gone there and then come back from there.’
‘I’m a ravenous little monster.’
‘the language barrier is insurmountable.’
‘it is just so nice to have someone smart to talk to for a change.’
‘please just fuck off for real this time.’
‘I tried to correct them and they wouldn’t listen.’
‘also I didn’t try all that hard.’
‘I really only see them at night. it’s like they’re vampires or something.’
‘the place will be a fucking bloodbath.’
‘beep beep beep. nerd alert.’
‘I wanna throw up right now.’
‘you’re just feeling a little bit demented.’
‘I’m thinking maybe he didn’t know.’
‘you need to stop suggesting that.’
‘I should have known you would have stolen it!’
‘you were always a sneaky little human shit!’
‘has anyone heard the ancient screams of a very large woman?’
‘the halftime show – a lot of people consider that to be the highlight. I like the commercials.’
‘we’re not going to kill him. it goes against our non - killing agreement.’
‘have you seen a jade necklace containing the bloodcurdling screams of my dead mother?’
‘have you gone soft, my sweet syrup pie?’
‘we did something really good tonight.’
‘I guess I switched that part of my brain off with, um. feelings and emotions.’
‘I have to go. I’m so sorry, I think I left my toilet running.’
‘I bet you could die a happy man.’
‘I suppose it is quite sweet.’
