Mentally Deprived.

“As humans, we are each our own devil, and we make this world our Hell.” I study at a University. I'm a demon dressed in kaleidoscope skies. This is where a story is to be told, from mere text; contemplations, rambling, and... var sc_project=7005106; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="818bb375"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[tblaberge]

I think there comes a time when you meet someone and you just want to make them smile for the rest of your life.

[recuperare-deactivated20140812]

Airports see more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches.

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Michael, I am sincerely sorry for the loss of your precious loved one. I know that this is not the time to tell you that everything is simply going to be okay, but it will be okay. I understand that you and your mother may be in a devastated situation right now, but please do not remain forever in one spot. Your agony will only make those around you upset, too. Honestly speaking, I am at loss of words, but I just want you to know that I am here for you and I wish you as well as your mother the best. Your grandmother is in a better place now. She doesn't want to see you shedding tears or sad, she wants you to smile and happily grow up. Please stay strong. May she rest peacefully. My earnest condolence goes out to you and your family.

Love, Bestie L

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I.

I'm only human. I don't need, but I want. I don't need somebody to listen to what I have to say, but I want somebody to listen to what I have to say. I don't need somebody to understand why, but I want somebody to understand why. I don't need somebody to whisper me sweet words that can wrap my heart into a blanket of warmth, but I want somebody to whisper me sweet words that can wrap my heart into a blanket of warmth. I don't need somebody to realize that I can still feel, but I want somebody to realize that I can still feel. I don't need somebody to feel less lonely, but I want somebody to feel less lonely. I don't need somebody to put my mind at ease, but I want somebody to put my mind at ease. I don't need somebody to help me embrace my flaws, but I want somebody to help me embrace my flaws. I don't need somebody to show me that I'm not a monster, but I want somebody to show me that I'm not a monster. I don't need somebody to love me for the person I am, but I want somebody to love me for the person I am. I don't need somebody to need me, but I want somebody to need me. I don't need somebody, but I want somebody. 

To play the role of independence, but still needing the presence of someone. That's how humans are. We say we like loneliness, but then we go crazy if we have nobody left. I'm scared to be abandoned or left alone, because I'm human. And that's why I just want to be human. Because I love you and sometimes I don't feel like I'm not enough. Because I want somebody to listen, to understand, to realize, to feel, to ease, to embrace, to show, to love, to need, to want. I'm only human, after all.

[asymptoti-c]

Once you found someone who fights for you and loves you for everything that you are, don't ever let go of that person. Sometimes you won't fight for yourself, but they will. Sometimes you won't love yourself, but they will. Don't ever let go of that person, they must be precious.

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girls are dumb

boys are dumb

girls are hypocrites

boys are hypocrites

you all suck

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Maintain a healthy relationship.

Each and every one of you has their own way of maintaining a healthy relationship, but in my opinion, most relationships consist of someone lacking confidence in themselves. A strong and confident individual is what makes one so divine, this goes for both girls and boys; it does not matter what gender you are. Take the initiative to grow more confident in yourself, if not yourself, in your significant other and both of your relationships. The problem could be that someone is not trying hard enough or it could be a case of someone that is trying too much and is not getting anything back in return. I understand that we should not be expecting anything back in return, but it would be nice to have someone do the favor as well, right? A relationship takes two, not just one.  If you need reassurance, you have to tell your significant other. If you need comfort, you have to tell your significant other. Don't go around telling your friends, don't waste your time sulking over something that could be a small matter. Don't grow frustrated, don't be silly. You need to tell your significant other about how you are truly feeling. How do you expect your significant other to understand how you are feeling if he or she does not understand why you are acting the way you are acting? If you tell a friend, do you expect them to tell your significant other? That is probably the worst way to think. You need to be confident, you need to stand your ground. If he or she loves you, you need to talk to your significant other about how you are feeling. Of course it is wonderful to let out your emotions to someone you hold close that is a friend, but it is much better to talk about it with your significant other if he or she truly cares for you.  All healthy relationships consist of two working hand and hand together. Those relationships people are so envious of consist of two people who are honest with another. If there's a problem, they would likely take the time to discuss about it together. Grow more confident, grow more stronger. Don't do it just for your significant other, don't do it just for your relationship, do it for yourself. Do it for the sake of keeping yourself healthy and your significant other. Maintain a healthy relationship.

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Overcome jealousy.

In relationships, this emotion is pervasive and instantaneous. This feeling tends to devour the mind and people fail to take the time to evaluate it. Jealousy is a feeling that frustrates and disappoints us, it is a feeling that we'd like to rip out of our hearts. Feeling jealous is not conducive for relationship building and effective communication, it is a heart wrenching feeling from what could be a simple matter. Jealousy is not necessarily bad, let it be because your significant other kept pictures with his or her ex, let it be because of the cliché comparison we do when we see someone better looking than we are; we have our own reasons for the emotions of jealousy. You're just bringing this upon yourself. Well, perhaps, but it's not like we all have 100% control on the emotions we want to feel. 

Frankly, I know that I have been jealous and I am intimately aware of the impact it can have on a relationship. What if he or she falls for someone better than I am? He or she deserves better. What if I get replaced? Can you relate? That uncomfortable tightness in your stomach? The feeling of your heart aching? Why do we put ourselves through it? When we are in the state of jealousy, we are opening a state of instinctual survival mode, we are acting out of scarcity. We want to feel needed, we want to be missed, we want to be loved, we want our loved one to be all ours. In this state, we are irrational and the only thing we can think about is ourselves. What we need to realize is that we are only being selfish and jealousy should only be to an extent. Jealousy makes us fail to consider the feelings and impact of our behavior on other people. We need to swim out of the pool of solitude from jealousy, we need to find the place of abundance. Release your soul, consider and think compassionately towards how your significant other is feeling. We can free ourselves from the negative emotions and thoughts. 

Open up your horizons and grow up some courage to talk to your loved one about how you are feeling, more of reassurance could be what you need. If he or she cares about what you have to discuss about, especially your emotions, he or she will definitely care and take the time to listen. If he or she knew how agonized you are feeling because of jealousy, I'm sure that he or she will feel just as sad as you are. Overcome jealousy, that's what you should do.

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I like someone.

As I contemplated about my feelings, I have finally came to the conclusion that I like someone. It's been quite some time since I've felt such happy feelings; I am finally reminded of what it feels like to have that bubbly feeling rushing through the veins of your heart. This someone is making me smile at the littlest things, at our silly conversations, and the things we do together. I can be myself around this person, I can say teasing yet ridiculous and irrelevant things to this person. And when they tell me things that are oh so sweet and lovely to read, I get these emotions of excitement. I can't be sure if he feels the same way, but I cannot deny the fact that my feelings are genuine for him. I like him.

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Be yourself.

Don't ever apologize for being yourself. Say something because you want to, not because you feel obliged. Laugh because you feel happy, not because everyone else is laughing. Love someone because your heart is singing melodies when you see them, not because they told you they love you. Don't pretend to be someone you're not, and if someone criticizes you for being yourself, why should it matter? So what if you're blunt, why should it matter if you don't feel fond of humanity? As long as you're yourself, as long as you're not fake, there will be people out there who'll accept you. Don't be afraid, and smile. Be yourself, because like myself, there are people out there who are going to find you captivating because you're confident and bold enough to be who you truly are.

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Deaf.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a deaf person. It was a wonderful experience and opportunity for me. I was happy that I could make him laugh or smile, but I wish he could be able to laugh with me; to be able to hear instead of having someone else use a special sign language to represent laughter. In the end, what touched my heart was when he told me, "just making you laugh, that makes me happy."  He's such a lovely person, he uplifted my spirits. To be not able to know what songs sound like, what beauty an instruments melody is, what a person's voice sounds like, what's the difference between quiet and loud, what's a cat's meow or a dog's bark, someone's laugh or cry, or just anything at all that we can hear or keep us sane, he can't hear. He's not asking for sympathy or anything such, but I do hope we take this time to appreciate what we have, because this genuine person cannot hear such soothing things like we can.

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What is love?

I suppose this statement has been questioned by humans since days unspoken. Knowing that in order to keep our sanity, one must be able to love and receive love, a blessing or punishment of some sort. People will die or even kill for this intangible feeling that is not fully understood by any human being. Already knowing these things, I began to delve deeper, remembering when asking someone "What is love?", the general reply would have had to do with being perfect. Through my measly years of experience on this universe, I found that love is yes, unconditional, but for us humans; not flawless. Love is a foundation that has been built through trial and error. What we call “love” is not perfect, but built. Meeting that special someone and falling in love is of course the beginning, then it becomes a building block for further enrichment. Getting hurt is just part of love, in order for it to grow, one must patch this hole that has been caused from the pain and move into a deeper relationship. This is why when a person does not put effort into a relationship, there is no love. How could you better yourself for the sake of another if you do not make it a mandatory commitment to not repeat what has caused them so much agony? In a nutshell, love is not perfect, its improvements from our history and always growing from past pains allowing us to better ourselves and gain a profound connection with others. If love were perfect, then it would have a capacity, but it does not, love is infinite. That is the beauty of love.

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Loneliness.

Loneliness is the state in which one is in solitary isolation. While the stigma around the word "alone" is seemingly negative, it is actually a necessity for human development and sanity. I believe that, we all need our time away from others in order to catch up with ourselves. However, the problem is that humans in their own lonesome are forced to be in isolation away from contact on a daily basis whether they choose to be or not. Everyone faces loneliness, but each and every one of us has a different way to deal with it. Some people are capable to be at peace in solitude, while it may be considered as a means of torture for others.