Some things youāll find yourself coming back to. Some poems youāll go back and read, books youāll keep by your bedside and reread the last sentence of. TV shows youāll own on DVD and re-watch on the days when youāre feeling unhappy. Cities youāll take more than one vacation to and coffee shops twenty minutes away youāll find yourself at, even though there is a perfectly good one around the corner from your home.
Yes, in life there will be things youāll come back to and keep coming back to, notice them. These are the spirits that call your name and you reply to. They are important.
I would like to become an open invitation:
to listen to,
to see the world with,
to have coffee in eager words.
Maybe I am meant to be a paperback,
or postcard,
perpetually wishing you were here.
I have been calculating the cost of having
my spine bound in leather
like a notebook,
eager to be filled,
forever afraid of life after
back pages.
Or maybe, as now, a book of secrets
that still carries the lock.
Some days I am all paper, bleeding ink,
pulped and blended,
reincarnated into so many versions of myself
that I forget who I am sometimes.
Forget that I too was a seed
thirsty for the taste of sunlight,
forget the petrified Ā thrill of a lumberjackās blade,
forget to pity old trees clinging to ground.
Yet, finally, I am changing
for what I was meant:
a single, unopened letter,
slipped through your mail slot as you slept,
awaiting your trembling hands.
Our six-part interview series about women creatives ends with this interview. Itās fitting to close with a creative who not only makes her living creating, but also began a business because of it!Ā Karin Rae is a jewelry designer for Dear Rae Jewelry; she describes herself as a ā27 year-old woman who is passionate about building a creative business that creates jobs in our beautiful countryā. She works and lives in Woodstock (Cape Town) where she finds inspiration from the diverse people, shapes and colors around her.
Karin, Iām smitten with your jewelry!Ā When did you Ā pinpoint that jewelry designing was right for you? Who/what influenced you to Ā decisively make jewelry a life and career choice?
I started making jewellery at the age of ten- my father did it as a hobby and taught me the basics. I was always into crafting up all sorts of 3D shapes as a kid, so jewellery was a fitting medium for me! From there, I decided to study jewellery design at Stellenbosch University.
Dear Raeās Ā collections all have a common thread- a distinctive style of minimalism and Ā delicacy. I also adore that all of Dear Raeās pieces are handmade. How do you Ā stay relative but not trendy- finding your own style to project in a world of Ā designers?
I really believe in making products that I love to wear. I feel that as a designer it is important to see and understand the latest trends, but equally important to not let your designs be defined by a trend. I feel that in building a strong brand, itās reallyĀ important to have your own style and stamp in all your designs. If you are true to your own style and your own inner voice, you will come up with original design.
You spent a semester in Germany. How did this change you Ā in terms of your art? What role do you think travel plays for creative humans?
My time in Germany was incredibly inspiring, because I was exposed to many new mediums and methods in jewellery. I did an amazing project in Berlin, where a group of us were allowed to work with the old engraving and press machines in the technical museum. We then made contemporary jewellery pieces with the work. It was a time of appreciating refined design in Europe as well as realizing how much freedom and space we have to play in South Africa. When I got back to Cape Town I decided to start Dear Rae, I felt inspired by the raw energy and freedom of our country.Ā
How did you Ā initially get your business Dear Rae off the ground and what did you learn from it? Was there ever a point that you thought oh no, Iām making a mistake, what if this doesnāt work out?Ā
Starting your own business is always really scary. I initially set up a studio above my parentās garage, and it was a great space for me to get going and dream up what I wanted to build in my brand. I learnt that as risky as it feels, it is important to just start something, and then shape it and change it as you go. I still sometimes wonder if I am doing the right thing- as it grows I am responsible for more people and assets- however, I keep going back to that same lesson that I first learnt; just try.
Being in Cape Town, youāre constantly in a creative and zone. How do you stay connected with other creatives? How important is community to you as an Ā artist?Ā
I have a lot of creative friends working in different creative mediums. We are all on similar journeys so it helps to share our experiences with each other. Being a creative entrepreneur can be a very lonely journey, so it is really important to have a creative community.
Is there something youāve learned about art thatās more-or-less changed your perception on art or how you create it?
Iāve learnt that it is important to create from within yourself. I know that this sounds very āartsyā at first glance, but what I mean is that itās important to create around things that resonate with you. So often we create around trends which hold no story or profundity to our own journeys. I often create around a story or concept that has moved me or that I simply enjoy. I feel that it allows me to design a range that has more depth and originality.Ā
And our last pressing question- you were recently married (yay!). Did your now-husband propose to you with a ring you yourself had designed? :)
I sent him some designs that I liked. He is luckily a very creative person, so he found the right diamond and had it made by a friend of our who is also a jeweler. I absolutely love my ring- itās so timeless and simple! But he often reminds me how tough it was to have a ring made for me!
Karin, what an odyssey to create jewelry around ideas that resonate with you.Ā I know a girl in Joburg who would be quite happy to keep some of these beautiful pieces warm for you hint hint (kidding)! Thank you for letting us in on your life as an artist and a business owner, and I look forward to seeing future Dear Rae branches open across South Africa! Take a gander around Dear Raeās online store here (treat yourself while youāre there). Dear Rae is also on Facebook here, Pinterest here, asĀ well as Instagram here.
BONUS! All of the photos above were shot by Love Made Visible, a husband-wife photography team. Bruce and Rebecca live in Cape Town with their pet cat, and their online gallery is brimming with verve and story-telling. Read their online blogĀ (really. do it.) and also find them on Instagram.Ā
[ā¦] to read such a thick book means to be alone for a long time, to be for a long time without the person whose presence you need, because four-handed reading is still not customary. This gives the writer a guilty conscience, and he will try to atone for it. Let that lovely woman with the quick eyes and languid hair who, in reading this dictionary and running through her fear as through a room, feels lonely, do the following. On the first Wednesday of the month, with the dictionary under her arm, let her go to the tea shop in the main square of town. Waiting for her here will be a young man who, like her, as just been overcome with a feeling of loneliness, wasting time by reading the same book. Let them sit down for a coffee together and compare the masculine and feminine exemplars of their books. They are different. When they compare the short passage in Dr. Dorothea Schultzās last letter, printed in italics in the one and the other exemplar, the book will fit together as a whole, like a game of dominoes, and they will need it no longer. Then let them give the lexicographer a good scolding, but them be quick about it in the name of what comes next, for what comes next is their affair alone, and it is worth more than any reading.
Dictionary of the Khazars (female edition),Ā Milorad PaviÄ. (via the-library-and-step-on-it)
Vast & Brilliant: An Interview with Clare Elsaesser
Today Iām interviewing my most favorite painter, Clare Elsaesser, as part of a six-part series (how exciting?!). Iāve eyed her work for YEARS after Joanna Goddard talked about it on her blog, and finally got my very first Clare Elsaesser print last year- so you can imagine my euphoria when Clare responded to my interview request. Clare is a 32 year old painter, living and working inĀ āthe hillside town of Inverness, California just about an hour north of San Francisco on the Tomales Bay peninsulaā. She is also unreservedly warm towards every customer that contacts her (which may be why she has 3,479 Etsy users raving about her) and her answers show that.
As you discovered and developed your art, what memorable response/s to your work stand out along the way?
I think the most memorable responses have always been the critical ones. The first critical response I remember was in high school, when a visiting art school/art college representative said my portrait paintings (which I was attempting to make look realistic) looked like poorly done cartoons. I spent most of my time once I got into art school learning how to paint realistically!
Do you have any routines in place to keep creative energy from going stagnant? How do you stay creative?
The more regular my work schedule is, the more easily creativity seems to come. I try to paint at least four hours a day with minimal breaks from this routine. Even taking weekends off can be a bit of an interuption, and throw a wrench in the creative process.
When seeing your work, I was entranced by your ethereal, poetic, whimsical style. Most of your figures are hiding their face and seem deep in thought- some asleep, some in the ocean or in gardens. When did you hit on your style and what drew you to these patterns/environments?
I still donāt feel like I have a style, or at least my style seems to be always changing. Everything I paint is connected by ideas or feelings I hope to represent, but it is really hard for me to make consistent work. I am drawn to different types of painting both stylistically and in terms of media: abstract, represntational, oil, watercolor, etc. so painting always ends up an exploration, which keeps the process fun, but can also be frustrating.
In addition to being an artist, you married one! How do you find the balance between being energized by his work and supporting it, but also being able to step back, regroup, and hit on your own style?
I think it took a while to find this balance. Kai (my artist husband) has had his thing down for years, painting closely cropped portraits since he was probably around thirteen (heās now thirty four). Since I really only started seriously painting full time about five years ago, Iāve learned so much from how he works. That being said, we both want varied things out of our paintings, work differently, are drawn to a wide range of inspirations, and are on slightly split paths as artists- he works primarily with galleries, while I sell mostly online. So we are able to be supportive of each other given our mututal understanding of the ups and downs of painting, while maintaining our own goals and focus.
Living in California, you must be surrounded with artists. Ā How do you stay connected with other creatives? How important is community to you as an artist?
We just moved to a new home in February, and almost every house on our street has an art studio. It is totally bizarre, but there is a reason we (and all these other artists) were drawn to this place- itās so beautiful and quiet! Even though I am surrounded by artists, I find my art community online, following the work of artists that I love and am inspired by, as well as connecting with artists via Instagram. I am extremely introverted, and donāt enjoy gallery openings or even hanging out with more than a couple people at a time, so the internet makes me feel contected while maintaining the quiet, alone time which makes me a happy person.
Itās quite normal for artists to experience crippling self-doubt at some point and wonder if theyāve made a huge mistake deviating from the āsafeā career. How do you deal with the fear of rejection when youāre creating and evolving ideas?
I am constantly battling self doubt, and there are always ups and downs in any given day, week, month or year which make me question what I am doing- or make me come close to giving up completely. Sometimes I get really caught up in a fixed idea or goal relating to the artworld which doesnāt correspond at all with what I want or how I work, and then I become frozen with insecurities and doubts that I will never live up to this unrealistic aspiration. Last year I was fixated on getting into a āhigh artā (Iām not sure that is even a term people use any more) gallery, and was convinced I would never be able to make work viable on this level, which is most likely true. It was devastating and I spent so much time just feeling like a failure, and not enjoying painting, that I wasnāt making work viable on any level. (I think that idea of ālevelsā is totally crazy too, and I donāt know why I get hung up on it, but I do very often and itās a instant spirit crusher every time it enters my head). Ā But something happened in the last few months which has made things easier. I have no idea what changed, and there was no catalyst, but Iāve just stopped being so self critical. Maybe it is because so much of my brain is pre-occupied with the move, or maybe it is because I am enjoying painting more than ever, but I have stopped obsessing over my ineptitude, for now at least.
Is there something youāve learned about art thatās more-or-less changed your perception on art or how you create it?
I finally figured out that people should be able to pursue what they want to do as, long as they are not doing any harm to others, without feeling torn or guilty. This made art-creating, and the way I view myself and other artists, much more positive and lighthearted.
Clare, you are lovely. Thank you for your stories and your insight- and good luck with the move! Find Clareās work on Etsy here, and her official website here. Follow her creative journey through Instagram here, on her Facebook page here, and Pinterest.
Today's interview, as part of a six-part series, is with singer/songwriter Ruby Gill. Her music has carried me through lots of writing deadlines and solo dance parties, so chatting with her was a dream.Ā
Ruby, please say some things about yourself:
My name is Ruby Mary Gill and I am a singer-songwriter from Joburg, South Africa. I am clumsy, uncoordinated, shortish and very short-sighted, and I apparently laugh like a hyena (I was going for more of a graceful bird sound but apparently not).Ā
Iām an equalist, aspiring redhead, pluviophile and lover of anything basil. In real life where people need things like rent money, Iām a piano teacher of little kids and old ladies and middle-aged men who are going through, dare I say it, a creative patch. I write songs and sing them for people at places and I also sometimes write songs for other people to sing at other places and I love every minute of it, except the minutes spent carrying my piano to gigs. I have a car that always has white smoke coming out of it and I canāt tell if I should be worried or if Iām just a bad driver. I have the short-term (and long-term) memory of a small frog (with the exception of somehow miraculously sometimes remembering lyrics) and I have a whole lot of younger siblings who can all dance better than me.
How did you get into singing/songwriting & and which aspect do you tend to identify yourself with most?
I started playing piano when I was four years old and somewhere along the way I taught myself how to play guitar. I was about 11 when I started my first band (we were a hardcore Avril Lavigne cover band, obviously) and I wrote my first song (itās hilariously bad) just before that. I didnāt ever picture myself as a singer but at some point it just happened and I fell in love with it. Ā I recorded and released an album when I was about 14. I canāt vouch for its musical value (at that age I used a lot of indecipherable metaphors ācause I thought that was cool) but I know that ever since then I have chosen music ā above all. Songwriting is better than therapists (sometimes), and itās gotten me through the worst bits of my life. Thereās a hugely powerful healing thing that comes with finding a melody that says exactly what youāre feeling. I have more depressing songs than I can even count (only a tenth of which I have remembered or played). Itās the process of getting the melancholy out of your system that counts, more than the finished product itself.
I make the most of difficult emotions ā thatās my biggest drive. I remember last year having come out of a three year relationship, and having lost contact with him for about five months. Suddenly, at 7pm one night, I got an achingly beautiful message from him just making peace with what had happened. It came out of the blue and affected me pretty strongly ā more than I thought anything could. I had no idea what to do with the feelings inside me, and so I sat down at the piano in my little flat and played rubbish until something started to sound like what was going on inside my craziness. I wrote that song until 2am the next morning and cried through every word. It was more healing than anything Iāve ever experienced, and that song means more to me than any other. I cry almost every time I sing it, but it makes me happier than any other song Iāve written.
Ā Do you have any routines in place to keep creative energy flowing? How do you stay creative?Ā
Itās difficult to stay creative when you arenāt feeling anything of any notable value, so I try doing things that stir something in me. I watch beautiful movies, read beautiful literature, listen to truckloads of other peopleās music, interact with different kinds of people, pay attention to the sky and the trees and the ocean and try to feel something, everyday. I go to as many live gigs as I can fit in. I go on solo coffee dates more than I actually drink coffee, and I travel as much as I can afford. I buy way too many writing journals than my teacherās salary can actually sustain, but having a fresh page and a proper black pen inspires me more than most things. Sometimes, all things fail, and I can do nothing about that, so I play covers and learn more complicated instrumental piano stuff until the creative energy revives itself again. Above all - I play. Lots. I harmonize to every single song in my car at the top of my voice, and I try to immerse myself in music and photography and art and poetry- as much as I can stomach. But thereās a quote that goes, āThere are poems inside of you that paper canāt handle.ā Itās okay, sometimes, to leave them there.
In addition to singing, you also play guitar and piano. You recently acquired an agency (congratulations!), which books your tours, and were part of the Oppikoppi lineup last year. What is the most fascinating experience/event/person youāve encountered on a tour?
I think playing at Oppi last year was definitely one of the best moments of my life and career. I wasnāt on the official line-up, but I managed to get a slot at the BOS Ice Tea stage. I borrowed someoneās guitar and sang as many songs as I could remember in my sleep-deprived and unshowered state. I was wearing this blue and white stripy dress from pick ān pay (itās actually pyjamas) and I had no shoes on and no capo (I used a pen and a hair elastic) and it felt brilliant. It was spontaneous, and raw, and there were only a handful of people watching to begin with, but by the end of the set, the tent was full.
Ā At the end of the set, I asked my friend Craig to come play guitar for me (I didnāt even know how to play electric guitar properly) and we did a stripped-down impromptu cover of Youth by Daughter (one of my favourites). I didnāt even know the lyrics properly so we googled them on someoneās phone and kinda winged it. My eyes were closed for most of the first half of the song, but at some point I looked up and saw that the whole crowd was giving us a standing ovation. I burst into tears at that point but somehow finished the song and meant every word. It was honestly one of the craziest experiences Iāve ever had. It eradicated any doubt Iād ever had that this was what I wanted to do with my life. It fascinated me that one can fall in love with oneās job over and over again, just because of little experiences like this.
Part of a musicianās life is touring and meeting other people- without having much personal space. How do you find the balance between being energized by this and being able to step back, regroup, and find your authenticity and individuality?
Itās tricky. I was ridiculously shy and nerdy as a kid, so personal space was kind of all I had. Now, Iām sometimes so busy that I forget to like, eat. Iāve had to quickly learn how to be sociable, and actually say things to people using coherent sentences. As much as I have loved finding that side of me, I still often take a day to myself to just read or write or sit and eat pizza on my own and think about things. Iāve always been a little eccentric, and I think the moment I started embracing it was the moment that it started really working for me. So although Iām creating and working in a crowded, ambitious, ridiculously energetic and exciting industry, Iāve never found it too hard to stay true to myself, and I think people begin to respect you for it. When I do feel like Iām losing my authenticity, I take time away from it all to just do the things that make me happy.
You play in line-ups with a lot of bands and you recently moved to Jozi. Ā How do you stay connected with other creatives, who are also touring, with such a fast-paced life? How important is community to you as an artist?
Community is one of the most important and inspiring parts of being both a musician, and human ā and Joburg is one of the most community-driven cities Iāve come across. Ā I lived in Pietermaritzburg (KZN) for most of my schooling years, and thatās a different kind of community. I knew most of my audiences by name, and played at all their weddings, and kidsā birthday parties. Sometimes even funerals.Ā
Joburg is a different kind of space altogether. There are so many of us doing what we love in the creative scene and we can all learn so much from each other. Itās good to challenge yourself with new ideas and be more adventurous, with other people who are seeking the same kind of improvement and change. I have made so many incredible friends and have worked with so many incredible people in my time here. Everybody does their best to help each other out. People here are cool. The coolest. Jenn Satsune once said, āI have resigned myself to understand that I belong to no one and everyone. I am not a person swimming in a vast ocean, but the ocean itself, as others swim in me.ā
Artists in any capacity experience crippling self-doubt at some point (I do regularly!) and wonder if theyāve made a huge mistake deviating from the norm. How do you deal with the fear of rejection when youāre creating?
So much of this art stuff has changed my life ā and will continue to do so. One thing Iām immensely grateful for is how my perception of the world around me has shifted ā in that I think deeper, and I notice more. Things that may seem mundane are now so much more valuable to me, simply because finding inspiration and creating means that Iām making the most of everything, and doing my best not to take things and people in my life for granted. I find it so much easier to find beauty now that Iāve been striving to create it in some form.Ā
Ā The great Maya Angelou said, āFind a beautiful piece of art. If you fall in love with Van Gogh or Matisse or John Oliver Killens, or if you fall in love with the music of Coltrane, the music of Aretha Franklin, or the music of Chopin ā find some beautiful art and admire it, and realise that that was created by human beings just like you, no more human, no less.ā I have found myself to be very human. Ridiculously flawed but so in love with the world ā no matter how terrible and desperate it may sometimes feel. I have fallen in love with music and art in general all over again. I wish I could immerse myself in more art and music. And I wish I could fully grasp how powerful art is. But thereās beauty in being unable to understand something. And itās beautiful to create something that others might not understand, and yet might understand better than you do yourself. Nirrimi (whoever that is) said, āThis is how I see it. As an artist it is my responsibility to not have a boring life. To feel deeply. To listen to the stories of strangers. To try new things and go new places. To say yes. To question everything. To find beauty in the commonplace. And to fall in love. Over and over. Because through the highs of love and the lows of heartbreak I truly know what it is to feel.ā That. That is all.
And Vincent Van Gogh (my best) closes with everything:
āThere is nothing more truly artistic that to love people.ā
Your true art shines in your music, Ruby, and thank you for opening up about your soulful journey as an artist. (Aren't you smitten with how she incorporates quotes into everything?). Listen to more of her talent on Youtube hereĀ or Soundcloud here. You can alsoĀ find her on Facebook here, and Instagram here. Ā Ā
...What if you wake up some day, and youāre 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didnāt go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? Itās going to break your heart. Donāt let this happen.
Anne Lamott (via jerfreyy)
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