so as some of you may know, i am in. a very awful household. my situation has only gotten more dire since my last post.
i am being abused and neglected by my mother, who recently informed me that i inherited a spinal deformity from her and she kept this information from doctors my entire life, leading to years and years of medical trauma and invasive, humiliating tests when i was as young as 4 and 5 years old, going on until i was 9 or 10.
my brother has also flown across the country to live with us in our 2 bedroom apartment, because my father was abusing him and my mom wants to play the hero. my brother is constantly taking my moms side, calling me names (including slurs like faggot and dyke! what joy!) yelling at me, treating me like im lazy for being disabled, and more. i can not leave my bedroom safely. it is not an option. my mother also caught covid and refused to isolate in her bedroom, and as a result myself and my brother got sick.
last night i had to call a suicide hotline. my life is actively at risk, i can not stay here. i know i asked for help not too long ago but i lost all of my savings trying to help someone in crisis under the assurance i would be paid back. i'm holding out hope still, but they're struggling themself with their health and have not been able to. i currently have $8 to my name and i need out. it is urgent. this is a fucking emergency.
im looking for help putting myself and possibly my cat up in a motel for a while. i dont know where im going to go to, but we cant stay here. it isn't safe. im expected to do all the chores without even being told that theyre my chores to do, my mother talks shit about me behind my back to my siblings and she does the same thing about them so i cant even imagine the horrific shit she says about me. she even cooks for herself and my brother and not for me. last night the "meal" i was given was exactly one piece of corn on the cob, but she made STEAK for both herself and my brother. as i type this she's cooking a meal i literally can't eat.
my life is at risk here. i cant stay any longer. im going to try to pack my room up within the next few days so it can be easily transported out of there when the time comes and then make a run for it.
my paypal is here if you can help
if you cant, please, PLEASE share. im literally begging. i am so fucking scared here. i'm suicidal every moment of every day, i literally havent been this severely in crisis since i was 13 and tried to kill myself over 3 times in 5 weeks.
thank you for reading. seriously thank you and please please please share. i cant stay here. please.
