power down

sam, she/her ☼ taurus ☾ aquarius ↑ gemini

[b4rfbrain]

[rachellaurenimagery]

Going to the Sun Road • Glacier National Park • Montana

[myselfandsomeotherbeing]

"Lesbian welders, San Francisco", n.d. From the Visual Arts Legacy Collection (JSTOR)

[ataurussun]

i just realized i scheduled a massage and a therapy session on the third month anniversary of the last time we texted, marking 90 days of no contact which feels significant mostly because i am giving it meaning because i love anniversaries and remembering dates (which somehow always becomes an issue in every relationship i've been in. nobody ever appreciated my celebration of the passage of time!)

i am noticing patterns of being attracted to people who are sort of mean to me, or make weird cutting remarks seemingly out of nowhere. my mind always skips to maybe i am too sensitive, maybe they're trying to keep me in check, maybe they're having a bad day... i never think wow, this person has a pattern of being unkind to me and i keep going back for more, why is that?

eventually this breakup will stop ruling my thoughts and for now i have to sit in the pain and the uncomfortable feelings. eventually i will stop replaying our last conversation, trying to make sense of why she said what she said to me. i think i'm coming around to accepting that she was pretty selfish and i ignored a lot of glaring red flags because i felt that love was blindly accepting a person as they are, incompatibilities and all. i'm starting to get the ick, which is a good sign, because lord knows i love a pedestal.

i will also NOT dwell on the fact that my ex husband has managed to keep a relationship post our relationship longer than i have and because it is NOT a competition i am NOT losing the competition.

i like to believe that one day i will meet someone who actually likes me and isn't terrified by my desire for real, actual, devoted partnership.

[whimsigothwitch-deactivated2026]

Whimsical glass bottles

[ataurussun]

I moved out here not knowing anybody and honestly it's been fine but I know I need to step out of my comfort zone and I should probably meet some people so now I have to rawdog making friends (going through posts on local Instagram business accounts, scrolling through likes, seeing if anybody has an open profile, if I like their vibe I follow them and if they follow me back then I message them asking if they want to grab coffee) (no idea if this approach works I guess we'll see)

[katgecs]

north cascades national park

[michaelmoonsbookshop]

End paper design by Arthur Rackham from The Ingoldsby Legends 

First Printed with Illustration by Rackham in 1898

[killyridols]

goodnight moon interior by jj manford, 2023, oil stick, oil pastel, & flashe on burlap over canvas, 50 × 60 inches

[flippantsmeagol]

Jupiter follows Venus above Cathedral Rock. Sedona, Az. 5/25/2026.

[lionfloss]

by Josh Quissy

[nabais]

[ataurussun]

[somniapetals]

[avastuff]

[givememtnspls]

Deer, Arkansas

[forest-woman]