Asher Tarkova

OC Roleplay. 21. Ballerino. "Narcissus so himself , himself forsook, And died to kiss his shadow in the brook" William Shakespeare

[atblackswan]

Day One (Open)

[atblackswan]

Asher took a seat on one of the couches as well, following David’s instructions. At hearing that David had been there for four years, Asher’s face visibly went white. He was not about to spend the prime years of his life and physical health locked up in a mental institution. 

He didn’t notice the scar until David pointed it out. Asher’s dark eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and he swallowed, feeling as though he could not move out of his chair. It was not the suicide attempt that threw him off, it was the sheer lack of reality that this person was in touch with. “Well, sounds like that you probably scared them…” He said, picking his words delicately.

[dust-todust-blog]

Despite his best efforts to socialize, David was finding that his 3-year reclusion may have damaged his ability to make friends.  He watched as Asher turned paler than the ghost boy himself, and realized he may have misspoken as words feel nervously from his companion’s mouth. “Oh well, yeah, I mean, of course, I scared ‘em. I really wasn’t trying to, it’s just that…” You really almost just told him. You’re an idiot. You’re dead, you shouldn’t even be trying to communicate with the living.

“Well….anyway it was a long time ago now,” he continued, trying his very best to appear harmless. “I don’t try to leave my body anymore, particularly because slitting your own throat hurts like hell. Just isn’t worth it.” David leaned in just slightly, so as not to alarm his attending nurse. “Don’t worry about being in here too long though. You seem alright, and they know you have a life to live. You got a close family? People who care about you?”

[atblackswan]

Asher watched as the young man in front of him grew more nervous and self conscious. He had been in the performing arts world long enough to know a few neurotics and sociopaths. He wasn't one of course. Knowing his own history, he should be more sympathetic.

"Don't try to leave your body. Life is pretty magical," Asher said, moving his hand to David's in an effort to comfort him.

"Yeah. Mom, Dad, a brother, and a sister. And a..." he stopped himself. He didn't know if he still had a significant other. "Better than some people," he finally said. "How about you?"

[atblackswan]

Day One (Open)

[atblackswan]

Asher took a seat on one of the couches as well, following David’s instructions. At hearing that David had been there for four years, Asher’s face visibly went white. He was not about to spend the prime years of his life and physical health locked up in a mental institution. 

He didn’t notice the scar until David pointed it out. Asher’s dark eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and he swallowed, feeling as though he could not move out of his chair. It was not the suicide attempt that threw him off, it was the sheer lack of reality that this person was in touch with. “Well, sounds like that you probably scared them...” He said, picking his words delicately.

[atblackswan]

Day One (Open)

[dust-todust-blog]

atblackswan:

Asher turned at the sound of the greeting. Asher looked over the man’s body with quiet, judging eyes before settling on his face. “Yes, I’m new here.” He took his hands off the window sill and fully turned his body to face the room’s new occupant.

“My name is Asher. It’s nice to meet you, David,” he said as he extended his hand to the man.

“They, um, don’t happen to have a gym here, do they?” He asked, a touch of anxiety in his voice. It was bad enough that he was going to spend the off season here. He needed to at least stay in shape.

“Ah, I am very not new.” David examined his new companion. The young man was shorter than him but most people were. Asher was far more fit than him, however, the sinew of his toned shape visible even through his clothes. It made David increasingly aware of how thin he’d really become. There was nary a bone in his body that wasn’t outlined in his skin. After hearing the question posed to him, he was reminded of how little he’d traveled outside of his room in 4 years. “I…I honestly don’t remember.”

Chuckling nervously, he sighed “I’m not sure if you’ve seen my body, but I’m not much of a gym rat.” He took a seat near the windowsill and smiled tight-lipped at the stubbled face of his acquaintance. “So, that would probably be a better question for one of the staff members,” he finished sheepishly. 

[atblackswan]

David was thinner than he was. A flash of jealousy appeared in his eyes before he reminded himself that he was more fit. He had to be. As much lifting as he did during rehearsal, he had to have some muscle. "How long have you been here? I have to be here until I'm no longer a danger to myself or others." The lawyer said that could mean he was there 90 days or 5 years. It all depended on the asylum, "I'm not a gym rat either," Asher said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. His ballet company had a private area. He was merely being less picky. "Have you seen the staff? You got a bipolar diagnosis with a supposed 'violent history' and they act like you're going to snap on them," he said, rolling his eyes. He shot the nurse a glare.

[hayitsjess]

atblackswan:

Something like empathy formed in the pit of Asher’s stomach. Maybe it’s because he knew of his mother’s violent past with men who treated her like nothing. Asher was visibly uncomfortable by the way she flinched back from him. It reminded him of something he did not want to think about.

“Hey, fuck him, alright?” Asher stated as though it was the crux of any advice he could give her. He placed his hand on her shoulder in an effort to soothe her. “You’re in here. He can’t be mean to you.”

“Thats a bad word” She stuttered quietly, everything felt wrong and it was all new so she didn’t know how to cope with it. It was overwhelming. Jess couldn’t control her flinching at him resting a hand on her shoulder, until she realised he was trying to comfort her rather than hurt her. It had been a long time since she had any positive touch, usually it only meant getting hurt.

“So they’re gonna protect me here?” Jess questioned, her voice still quiet and small as she clung onto her small bear

[atblackswan]

"Sorry," he said in response to his language and once more when he realized that his touch bothered her. "Yeah. No one comes to visit you unless you say it's okay," Asher said, thinking back to his approved visitors list. He smiled at her before taking his hand off her. "If anyone hurts you, you let me know. I'll rip their fu-I'll rip their eyes out," he said, taking on the responsibility of overseeing this young girl. It didn't appear anyone else would.

[hayitsjess]

atblackswan:

Her eyes were squinting. She obviously couldn’t begin to read what he had in his hands. Whether it was her eyesight that was the issue or lack of focus, he was not sure. “My mom and dad read to me as well.” He loved the stories his mother told of folklore from her native country and the classics that his father read to him.

“They’re…really your mom and dad, right? Not like…psychopaths that made you crazy right?” He asked. If he knew how insensitive the question was, he did not show it.

Jess was slightly panicked, she hated that she couldn’t read even the title of the book. It reminded her of all the things people used to say - that she was stupid and dumb and useless. At some point she’d just started agreeing with them herself. “Daddy never did, only mom” Jess nodded

“Yeah they are. Well, my momma died and then daddy got real mean sometimes” She clasped her hands over her mouth, curling up thinking he would come to hurt her for saying that “I’m sorry…I don’t mean…”

[atblackswan]

Something like empathy formed in the pit of Asher's stomach. Maybe it's because he knew of his mother's violent past with men who treated her like nothing. Asher was visibly uncomfortable by the way she flinched back from him. It reminded him of something he did not want to think about.

"Hey, fuck him, alright?" Asher stated as though it was the crux of any advice he could give her. He placed his hand on her shoulder in an effort to soothe her. "You're in here. He can't be mean to you."

[hayitsjess]

atblackswan:

He looked up again, his eyes going to the scar on his arm. It didn’t take much to put two and two together. “Well, yeah actually,” he did admit before showing her the cover. “It’s, um, Rocco period French. There is a princess there. But she’s not living happily ever after…”

Originally posted by im-brokenforyou

Jess watched him curiously, leaning in to look at the book cover. Her eyes squinted as she tried to read the title, but her reading skills were only really at that of a child. “That sounds fancy” she said, moving back to hug her teddy again “Momma used to read me books about princesses. I tried to read some but the words get all jumbly and they’re too hard to see”

[atblackswan]

Her eyes were squinting. She obviously couldn't begin to read what he had in his hands. Whether it was her eyesight that was the issue or lack of focus, he was not sure. "My mom and dad read to me as well." He loved the stories his mother told of folklore from her native country and the classics that his father read to him.

"They're...really your mom and dad, right? Not like...psychopaths that made you crazy right?" He asked. If he knew how insensitive the question was, he did not show it.

[hayitsjess]

atblackswan:

Asher looked over at the girl, distracted by her time of voice and choice of words. “Sounds like you’re in for a bad time there, sweetheart.” He smirked before looking back to the book he was reading.

Originally posted by morethanoneshow

“I will be if daddy founds out” she said quietly, rubbing her hand over an old scar on her arm before moving her teddy bear to her lap so that she could lean over to try see the book “What are you reading? Does it have princesses in?”

[atblackswan]

He looked up again, his eyes going to the scar on his arm. It didn't take much to put two and two together. "Well, yeah actually," he did admit before showing her the cover. "It's, um, Rocco period French. There is a princess there. But she's not living happily ever after..."

[hayitsjess]

“I..I already don’t like this place. It’s all scary. Daddy will get mad if I’m not in my room at bedtime”

[atblackswan]

Asher looked over at the girl, distracted by her time of voice and choice of words. "Sounds like you're in for a bad time there, sweetheart." He smirked before looking back to the book he was reading.

[atblackswan]

Day One (Open)

He had really screwed up this time.

Asher’s hands were on the window sill in the common room. He was looking outside at the wooded area that surrounded the psychiatric hospital. Forest scenery always made him feel at peace. Maybe it was because he remembered flickers of his bedroom as a young child. Trees, clouds along with woodland creatures were painted in happy colors on the wall. He always assumed that his parents painted over the walls when he got older.

He sighed before pressing his head against the glass, feeling the cold material on his forehead. He had been committed to a mental hospital. He was a danger to himself and others. How humiliating. He was lost enough in his own thoughts that he did not realize that he was not alone in the room anymore.

[dust-todust-blog]

David had a tendency to sneak up on people. Unintentionally, but nevertheless, he often found himself so light of foot that he’d be in a room for ages before anyone realized he’d come in. Only recently had he been allowed to go to the common room, so long as he was accompanied by a staff member. The 21-year-old walked as quietly as usual behind a gruff nurse and upon entering the normally boisterous common room, he was greeted by a sole inhabitant. 

This man does not know you are dead. He cannot know unless you tell him. Do not tell him. David received non-verbal confirmation from the nurse that he was allowed to greet his fellow patient, and he made his way nearer to the stranger. “Hello, my name is David. Are you new here?”

[atblackswan]

Asher turned at the sound of the greeting. Asher looked over the man's body with quiet, judging eyes before settling on his face. "Yes, I'm new here." He took his hands off the window sill and fully turned his body to face the room's new occupant.

"My name is Asher. It's nice to meet you, David," he said as he extended his hand to the man.

"They, um, don't happen to have a gym here, do they?" He asked, a touch of anxiety in his voice. It was bad enough that he was going to spend the off season here. He needed to at least stay in shape.

[doctorogara-blog]

Patient Zero (open starter)

[doctorogara-blog]

atblackswan:

Asher looked at the psychiatrist, annoyance going over his features starting with the narrowing of his eyes and the grimace on his face. “That pretty, glossy brochure that this institution gave my parents said something along the lines of providing me with individualized mental health care. From my understanding, that means that you assign medication that helps me. I am telling you what helps me. I know my own body.” He shifted in the chair, his eyes darting to several objects in the room so he could get a better understanding of who exactly he was dealing with. The man appeared straight laced, but most of the psychiatrist types did. Asher got along better with the therapists than he ever did with doctors.

“I’ve been here for no more than twenty four hours. I have only been in the medication line once. The nurses do not have enough reasonable doubt to start doing more than a check. For all they can prove, I missed one pill. Everyone misses once. If they do more than a check, then that violates my right to privacy,” Asher said, his voice confidant in the half right, half wrong argument that he was presenting to the psychiatrist. He spoke with the precocious voice of someone who once attempted to read all the large books in his father’s study. And what he was left with was a lot of useful, approximate information.

The older man sighed for what must have been the thousandth time since setting foot in the facility that morning. He’d been working in the “yellow” and “red” sections of the hospital for almost 7 years now. All manner of psychosis had made its way into his office at one time or another. With all of this chaos, he’d grown jaded. The doctor who started off bright eyed and bushy tailed now had long dimmed eyes and a tail wearing as thin as his patience. 

“Look, Asher. I’ve read about the events that got you sent here. I know what you are capable of at your worst. I, however, made a new year’s resolution to be more optimistic. So I’m asking you to trust me, take the medication I prescribe, and give it some semblance of a chance. You said it yourself, you’ve been here less than a day. Give the medication time to level out, and if you’re honest with me, we can have your dosages figured out within the month.”

[atblackswan]

Asher had learned early on how to get what he wanted from people. His parents had always been too wise, but others were easier to manipulate. He could always explain to his Psychiatrist what he wanted, but this man was not giving into him. He sighed, making the sound as exaggerated and dramatic as possible. "Fine." He would call his mother later and she would get this straight.

The young man got up from his seat and straightened his shirt. "That whole thing was blown out of proportion." He said in reference to he was 'capable at his worst'. He was singing a different tune when he had been caught, but now he was blowing off the serious crime he committed. He had to,

[atblackswan]

Day One (Open)

He had really screwed up this time.

Asher’s hands were on the window sill in the common room. He was looking outside at the wooded area that surrounded the psychiatric hospital. Forest scenery always made him feel at peace. Maybe it was because he remembered flickers of his bedroom as a young child. Trees, clouds along with woodland creatures were painted in happy colors on the wall. He always assumed that his parents painted over the walls when he got older.

He sighed before pressing his head against the glass, feeling the cold material on his forehead. He had been committed to a mental hospital. He was a danger to himself and others. How humiliating. He was lost enough in his own thoughts that he did not realize that he was not alone in the room anymore.

[doctorogara-blog]

Patient Zero (open starter)

[doctorogara-blog]

atblackswan:

Asher rolled his eyes.He could see through this doctor. He had enough interactions with psychiatrists to be wary of them. False niceties. Asher sat down when prompted, shrugging his shoulders. He had not excepted for this to be a full blown conversation. “Asher Tarkova. T-A-R-K-O-V-A,” Asher said, automatically as though he assumed the doctor would not know how to spell. “Adderall worked okay until I was twelve. Ritalin is better.” More importantly, Ritalin did not interfere with energy to the point he was a listless zombie. He was also able to throw up more with Ritalin, which was especially useful to keeping his figure.

Owen ignored the young man’s slight insult to his intelligence and, after a few more seconds of searching the files, found the one he needed. “Tarkova, Asher. There we are.” He only half listened to the patient’s request, choosing instead to read his history. It was a long and torrid one, and he noticed many a mark for ‘noncompliance with medical instruction.’ “So, Asher. Why are you refusing your medication? You’re an adult and I’d rather not have to tell the nurses to do more thorough mouth checks on you. I prescribed you the Adderall to help you focus. I will only prescribe you pills that I believe can help you. However, in order for us to find out if they help you, you’re going to have to actually take them. Then, in the event that I have prescribed you something that does NOT help as I intended, we can discuss alternatives.”

[atblackswan]

Asher looked at the psychiatrist, annoyance going over his features starting with the narrowing of his eyes and the grimace on his face. “That pretty, glossy brochure that this institution gave my parents said something along the lines of providing me with individualized mental health care. From my understanding, that means that you assign medication that helps me. I am telling you what helps me. I know my own body.” He shifted in the chair, his eyes darting to several objects in the room so he could get a better understanding of who exactly he was dealing with. The man appeared straight laced, but most of the psychiatrist types did. Asher got along better with the therapists than he ever did with doctors.

“I’ve been here for no more than twenty four hours. I have only been in the medication line once. The nurses do not have enough reasonable doubt to start doing more than a check. For all they can prove, I missed one pill. Everyone misses once. If they do more than a check, then that violates my right to privacy,” Asher said, his voice confidant in the half right, half wrong argument that he was presenting to the psychiatrist. He spoke with the precocious voice of someone who once attempted to read all the large books in his father’s study. And what he was left with was a lot of useful, approximate information.

[doctorogara-blog]

Patient Zero (open starter)

Owen slowly removed his glasses, rubbing his furrowed brow in a futile attempt to relieve his nagging headache. These kids are going to be the death of me… He looked over his desk at the young man viciously gnawing on his shoelace. “Please take that out of your mouth.” The boy obliged, looking up at the stressed man with wide eyes. Calling the nurse over, Owen whispered into her ear, “Adderall.” He quickly scribbled onto a pad before illegibly signing his name at the bottom, tearing it off, and handing it to the blonde woman. She took the boy’s hand and they both quickly exited. Owen reached into his top drawer, swiftly swallowed two pain relievers, and shut his tired blue eyes.

They were jolted open by a knocking at his door. Not one fucking moment of peace…“Come in,” he groaned.

[atblackswan]

Asher had as much as a healthy respect for counseling and psychology as the next person. Unless he was the patient. It was his first actual day at Stonefield and he had just got out of the line that distributed medication. He faithfully took the Lithium, but he cheeked the Adderall. He walked from the line to the psychiatrist’s office. 

He passed the blonde woman with the child and instantly eyed the prescription in her hand. Looked like that the man prescribed this like candy. He knocked on the door of his assigned psychiatrist and walked in. “Yeah, I don’t need this,” He put his hand to his mouth and spat out the half dissolved Adderall pill. He set it down on Dr. Ogara’s desk and told him, “Put me on Ritalin if you have to.”

[doctorogara-blog]

Owen stared blankly at the young man entering his office. The doctor replied to his patient’s brashness first with a pregnant pause, followed by a smug uttering of “Good morning to you, too.” He pulled a single tissue from the box on his desk and swiftly disposed of the half melted tablet. Making direct and assertive eye contact, he poorly feigned enthusiasm. “Please, have a seat. My name is Dr. O’gara and I will be your psychiatrist for the duration of your treatment.” He stood and turned the chair opposite his own to face the young man, motioning for him to be seated. After closing the door, the tall man returned to his own armchair and began thumbing through many identical folders. “What’s your name again?” he asked absentmindedly, not looking up from the stack. 

[atblackswan]

Asher rolled his eyes.He could see through this doctor. He had enough interactions with psychiatrists to be wary of them. False niceties. Asher sat down when prompted, shrugging his shoulders. He had not excepted for this to be a full blown conversation. "Asher Tarkova. T-A-R-K-O-V-A," Asher said, automatically as though he assumed the doctor would not know how to spell. "Adderall worked okay until I was twelve. Ritalin is better." More importantly, Ritalin did not interfere with energy to the point he was a listless zombie. He was also able to throw up more with Ritalin, which was especially useful to keeping his figure.

[doctorogara-blog]

Patient Zero (open starter)

Owen slowly removed his glasses, rubbing his furrowed brow in a futile attempt to relieve his nagging headache. These kids are going to be the death of me… He looked over his desk at the young man viciously gnawing on his shoelace. “Please take that out of your mouth.” The boy obliged, looking up at the stressed man with wide eyes. Calling the nurse over, Owen whispered into her ear, “Adderall.” He quickly scribbled onto a pad before illegibly signing his name at the bottom, tearing it off, and handing it to the blonde woman. She took the boy’s hand and they both quickly exited. Owen reached into his top drawer, swiftly swallowed two pain relievers, and shut his tired blue eyes.

They were jolted open by a knocking at his door. Not one fucking moment of peace…“Come in,” he groaned.

[atblackswan]

Asher had as much as a healthy respect for counseling and psychology as the next person. Unless he was the patient. It was his first actual day at Stonefield and he had just got out of the line that distributed medication. He faithfully took the Lithium, but he cheeked the Adderall. He walked from the line to the psychiatrist’s office. 

He passed the blonde woman with the child and instantly eyed the prescription in her hand. Looked like that the man prescribed this like candy. He knocked on the door of his assigned psychiatrist and walked in. “Yeah, I don’t need this,” He put his hand to his mouth and spat out the half dissolved Adderall pill. He set it down on Dr. Ogara’s desk and told him, “Put me on Ritalin if you have to.”