ate a chili

Riley | He/him | Adult | Playing with words

[ate-a-chili]

Make your own lube at home! Click here to learn more.

[ate-a-chili]

Dogs are so expensive but really it's all upcharge with 5 cents worth of syrup concentrate and dogwater

[ate-a-chili]

I like when the sportsmen flash us their belly buttons. As if to say "behold, I too was born"

[reefsharkivist]

gets so scared i lose the A♭ility to cough

[ate-a-chili]

Last night was a merge conflict

[charl0ttan]

learning about 4 am

[2winpeaks]

smoking that shit that made funko pop

[ate-a-chili]

I cut my thumb on a schism, and I didn't even get a sacrament out of it

[ate-a-chili]

There are 3 ways any situation could go. Up, down, or left. I guess it could go right. No, it couldn't.

[ate-a-chili]

Some asshole trained a squirrel to eat most of my ideas

[ate-a-chili]

Susan you have simply GOT. to come over and try my world famous Boise style sour brisket

[ate-a-chili]

It takes weeks to spoil

[ate-a-chili]

Susan you have simply GOT. to come over and try my world famous Boise style sour brisket

[ate-a-chili]

My favorite hydrocarbons are citrine, ovaltine, and latrine

[aceynk]

ants carry crumb for no reason

spider web is made for no reason

worm tunnel for no reason

flies near poop for no reason

we love these pointless animal

[whimsicalbirde]

No, they gotta eat. That is the point of all these. Crumb is ant food. Web provide food, like job provide money. worm eat dirt. Flies are weird.

[aceynk]

i just asked every scientist and they all said that you arent true here and thats not correct. i dont tolerate disinformations on my page. they do these things for no reason, and thats fine. we love all of them anyways because they are beautiful in their own yucky & terriblw way

[whimsicalbirde]

So flies aren't weird?

[aceynk]

theyre worthless animals which is lovely

[ospreyonthemoon]

the crumbs aren't actually ant food anyway! the ants gather crumbs to feed their domesticated fungus. they have farms. they eat the fungus and bring organic matter for the fungus to eat. and theyre not terrible they're lovely.

[suddenlysentient]

(getting REALLY mad) NOOOOOOO!!! THAT'S ONLY LEAFCUTTER ANTS!!!!!! ONLY LEAFCUTTER ANTS DO THAT!!!!!!!! AND THEIR FUNGUS ONLY EATS LEEAAVES!!!!!

[vixen-flame]

Is it strange that I hate OP's post? It's like, strangely anti intellectual and really mean to bugs in a way that seems positive but without any of the substance 😢. Did you ever think of the bug's feelings Aceynk?

[aceynk]

these animals are useless and stupid and and thats awesome

[melonisopod]

I know I'm falling for the obvious Smooth Shark 2.0 bait but I'm not here to tolerate the bug slander even if you think it's "awesome" that they're "useless and stupid".

Ants gather food to feed their colonies.

Spiders make webs to catch bugs

Worms tunnel to get around and also to eat

Flies eat poop and are some of the world's most efficient decomposers.

They are incredibly useful and important to the ecosystem and are on the decline in recent decades exactly because of these attitudes that they are "stupid and useless" anyway you're gonna just clown on me I don't care fucking educate yourself or don't but I'm not here for the misinformation presented as positive nihilism.

[aceynk]

i just asked every god and they all agreed and said they only made these creatures for fun and they have no purpose which is really badass if u think about it

[ate-a-chili]

spiders webs don't have souls and I saw an ant on the ground once. flies have legs and wings.

[ate-a-chili]

We showed a medieval peasant every movie that saved cinema and they said the dialog was a bit stilted

[ate-a-chili]

In a stunning affront to free speech, a truth-in-advertising complaint has struck down my right to wear booty shorts that say "this ass made JFK's head do that"

[errorschacha]

The entire point of, OK, my phone really wants to call it Anastasia so I guess we’re doing that? The entire point of Anastasia (as administered by a board-certified Anastasiologist) during sugary. Sugary? Haven’t I suffered enough? The entire point of Anastasia during augury. Jesus Christ. Hold up. You know what, augury is preferable to sugary. Augury is obviously performed by an auger (makes sense if you give it a think) whereas sugary is performed by…? A sugardaddy? NO THANK YOU. Anyway. The entire point of Anastasia is so that you don’t know what music your sturgeon. Fuck right off. Was playing. While you were under. You’re not supposed to wake up from Anastasia and immediately realize you managed to get earwormed by Motörhead’s “Ace of Spades” during your sugary.