Storehouse of Stuff and Things

Chaotic Bestiary: Keketar

CR 17

Chaotic Neutral Large Outsider

Pathfinder Bestiary 2, pg. 215

The “leaders” of the Protean race, the serpents at the very top, Keketar serve as priests and prophets of chaos and the greatest guardians of the Maelstrom. The Keketar lead whole swarms (called “Choruses”) of Proteans in excursions into the Prime Material Plane to further the goal of returning all creation to primal chaos, through means both direct and subtle. As subtle as they can get, anyway, being 18-foot long chaos snakes.

Perhaps right away, one of the most impressive abilities the Keketar possesses is Reshape Reality, an ability it can use only once per day. It mimics the effects of a Mirage Arcana spell (side note: that’s one of my favorite spell names in existence), allowing the Keketar to summon an entirely new 320 foot battlefield overtop the current one, but with an important twist: It’s no mirage. What the Keketar conjures is real, or at least semi-real, to the point that people who make their save or who can otherwise see through illusions still can’t see all the way through the reshaped reality; a labyrinth of stone may be easier to break through, a jungle of tangling trees might be slightly easier to navigate, and the sudden sea of lava might not be quite as hot, but all the hazards and impediments the Keketar conjures still pack a punch… And it’s even worse for the people who can’t see through the illusion, since then all the Keketar’s conjurations operate in full capacity. Those walls of stone are solid rock. This jungle reaches and clutches. This lava burns, and burns hot.

With an everlasting Freedom of Movement on itself, a Keketar is encouraged to summon the most obnoxious terrain hazards it can to tie up its foes and keep them from fleeing its chaotic sermons. If they still don’t want to listen and attempt to teleport away to avoid the reshaped reality, anyone teleporting either into or away from a 30ft bubble around the Keketar must make another save or be trapped in their Spatial Riptide, part of them held here and part of them held there, trapping them in time for 1d3 rounds as all of their various bits and bobs catch up with one another. With its own Greater Teleport usable at will, 1d3 rounds is usually enough to allow the priestly serpent to catch up with someone trying to escape a sermon.

Should someone try to stand and fight against a Keketar, though, and prove to be especially resistant to wishing to hear about the good word of chaos, the priests bring their powerful offensive magic to bear. Once per day, they may cast Disintegrate, Prismatic Spray, and Prismatic Sphere, all three of which can instantly take out a whole gang of stubborn targets–or one especially stubborn target, in Disintegrate’s case–and bring the survivors to their knees, Prismatic Sphere is especially useful for getting some valuable one-on-one time with either another Protean or someone the Keketar just wants to talk to in private. Or savage in private. That happens, too. Those teeth aren’t just for chattering away, capable of dealing 4d8+9 damage per chomp. Likewise, those claws aren’t just for gesticulating about the wonders of the Maelstrom, both of them slashing for 2d6+9 damage. The tail, however, is just for giving full-body hugs! Provided the receiver can survive the initial 2d8+4 damage and the following 1d8+9 constriction damage each round.

In addition to being nasty in their own right, the claws and bite of the Keketar cause a Warpwave to surge through the target, making melee with them even worse… Or more hilarious, if you’re lucky enough to end up getting healed by it. Keketar would take such events in stride, and possibly even become convinced that the maelstrom of Limbo wishes to spare the target from its wrath. Keeping in mind that these creatures are priests of chaos attempting to convert others is important for a DM trying to craft an enjoyable experience, especially considering how thoroughly day-ruining a Keketar’s spell-likes can be.

You can read more about them here.

Spiritual Spotlight: Narriseminek, the Crownless

Chaotic Neutral Protean Cantor of Ascendance, Keketars, and Revelations

Domains: Chaos, Knowledge, Liberation, Madness Subdomains*: Protean, Education, Self-Realization, Truth

Concordance of Rivals, pg. 14

Obedience: Surround yourself in a burning circle of flames at least 5 feet out from where you stand, chanting prayers until the flames burn down to coals or smoke from any source harms you. Benefit: Gain a +4 sacred bonus on saves against fire-based spells and attacks.

(*IMPORTANT NOTE: The Subdomains are my best guess; Subdomains are not listed in Concordance of Rivals)

Hope you remember to bring oil and tinderboxes! And remember to practice fire safety, because this Obedience is a real good way to burn down an entire house. Or forest. There’s also the worrying detail that this Obedience requires you to wait until the fires burn down to the coals, suggesting that a ring of oil or grease will NOT, in fact, satisfy the conditions of the ritual. That’s a real chin-scratcher to me, and though my Rules-Fu may be weak, I can see how a more exacting DM might force their players to jump through hoops (or into them as the case may be). Do you have to lug around wood or paper and burn it? Can ‘smoke from any source’ come from a cigarette or stick of incense you have nearby? Does the Obedience end early if a freak gust blows ash into your face? Questions, questions.

Also don’t ignore the fact that standing in a ring of fire while chanting ominously is incredibly suspicious and you probably shouldn’t do it in a location someone can barge into, especially a Good someone. Or a Paladin someone. Or a Devil-hunter someone. In fact, it’s really hard to do this Obedience regularly without seeming like you might soon plot to sacrifice babies, so you might want to warn your party ahead of time that no, you don’t worship Asmodeus, you worship a different flaming serpent! … Wait, Asmodeus isn’t a serpent in Pathfinder, scratch that last line.

As for the benefit, nothing we haven’t seen before. Nothing special, nothing grand. Fire is the most common damage type, so this ability WILL come up often and it’ll save you a lot of HP, and for that it has my applause. It’s just not exciting in any other way. I’m a little concerned that it doesn’t say “fire-based spells and abilities,” but “attacks,” but that could just be me being picky about language and wording. It comes in handy when dealing with fae, but it makes me paranoid everywhere else!

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Spiritual Spotlight: Ydajisk, the Mother of Tongues

Chaotic Neutral Protean Cantor of Language Evolution, Lost Words, and Slang

Domains: Chaos, Knowledge, Rune, Trickery Subdomains*: Protean, Thought, Language, Innuendo

Concordance of Rivals, pg. 21

Obedience: Recite, copy, or graffiti a text in a dead or self-created language in a public place, regardless of whether any others understand the meaning, and provide no translation. Benefit: Gain a +4 sacred bonus on saving throws against language-based effects.

(*IMPORTANT NOTE: The Subdomains are my best guess; Subdomains are not listed in Concordance of Rivals)

A step above Ssila’s Obedience in that, while it requires your act to be seen publicly, you can still stealth it by simply using graffiti in a public place so you’re not as likely to be arrested or seen as a menace.

Canon dead languages in Pathfinder include Ancient Osirion, Azlanti, and the ever-popular Thassilonian (the language of the Runelords), by the way, and studying any of those three languages is an automatic +1 to your character’s Cool Points if you manage to work it into their character concept. A DM may make it a little more difficult for you to acquire them, as dead languages are difficult to resurrect with mere points in Linguistics, but you can just cheat and have it be part of your character’s backstory. Anything can happen in your backstory!

You can also go the route of just making up a language. It has to be consistent, but you don’t have to go all out and present your DM with a journal filled with runes that help them decipher what you’ve written; you can just say it’s being consistent! And it’s yet another way to get Cool Points for your character, having them write journals or a diary in their own unbreakable code. Ydajisk requires their followers to deliberately not provide a translation for anything they create, leaving others to puzzle over the strange sounds coming out of this person’s mouth or wonder if the new paint all over city hall is an occult symbol or harmless vandalism. It’s also a pretty easy Obedience to hide, if you don’t want people knowing who you work for, since you can get away with translating an existing document into another language. It’ll make you look eccentric, but in a charming way.

The benefit is, sadly, rather poor. Many of the most dangerous spells in existence don’t rely on language, and this spell really only protects you from the seldom-seen Litany spells. It DOES work on Suggestion, though, which is commonly used and devastating if used right, but all in all this benefit is too narrow to matter in 99% of cases.

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Monster Spotlight: Voidworms

CR 2

Chaotic Neutral Tiny Outsider

Pathfinder Bestiary 2, pg. 217

Living wisps of chaos, Voidworms hail from the Maelstrom of Limbo, in which they swim and fly like a combination of bird and fish. Though they actually possess the Protean subtype, other Proteans become offended when one asserts the Voidworms are actual true Proteans themselves… much like how a human would be insulted if you compared them to a chimp. Despite this, Voidworms are truly intelligent beings living life in the moment, but they possess the terrible problem of having nonexistent attention spans, and a grasp of cause and effect so poor that they don’t consider the past to be real, which is an adorable dollop of Alien Brain Weirdness that I enjoy, even if it does make these little buggers irritating sometimes.

Should a Chaotic Neutral caster of 7th level or greater have the patience (or similar chaotic disposition) to deal with their quirks, though, Voidworms make for one of the better Familiars in Pathfinder. They’re certainly one of the most resilient assistants one could have, being immune to Acid and having 10 Resistance to Electricity and Sonic and having Fast Healing 2 constantly restoring them. With a 50ft fly speed and an eternal Freedom of Movement effect on them, enemies trying to capture the slippery little buggers will find it next to impossible.. And a clever caster who has managed to wrangle their wormy friend’s attention span can have it make use of its Change Shape power to polymorph into a tiny animal and play pretend, letting an enemy capture them for a short time before they return to their normal form and slip right out of any restraints.

Also, Voidworms snapping out of their altered form gain the effects of a Heal spell, regaining 30 hitpoints and sliding out from underneath all impairing conditions, an ability so powerful they’re only able to do it once per day. They can remain in their altered shape indefinitely, waiting for an opportune moment to reveal themselves, though this will frustrate both them and their caster immensely if it goes on for too long. They want to ACT, not SIT AROUND and WAIT! Fittingly enough, the spell-likes at their disposal are perfect for causing the kinds of chaos a chaotic caster will want.

Ghost Sound, Dancing Lights, and Prestidigitation all at-will are staples of a good illusionist’s toolkit to create distractions and provide good quality-of-life improvements. They also have Blur available for casting on themselves 3/day to make harming them go from ‘frustrating’ to ‘not worth the effort’ and, capping it all off, Obscuring Mist 3/day, which is always a great spell to have for providing a team cover or shrouding a sight-reliant enemy in a cloak of clouds to keep their abilities from bodyslamming your team.

All in all, a fantastic familiar! If you can put up with their wild nature and inability to understand consequences, of course, but then again that’s something a lot of parties may have experience with anyway.

You can read more about them here.

Spiritual Spotlight: Ssila’meshnik the Colorless Lord

Chaotic Neutral Protean Cantor of Fate, Freedom, and Paradox

Domains: Chaos, Knowledge, Liberation, Trickery Subdomains*: Protean, Memory, Freedom, Innuendo

Concordance of Rivals, pg. 17

Obedience: Ritually bleach your hair and whisper prayers in Protean song for an hour, naked, in public view. Benefit: Gain a +4 sacred bonus on saving throws versus the spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural abilities of creatures with the Lawful subtype.

(*IMPORTANT NOTE: The Subdomains are my best guess; Subdomains are not listed in Concordance of Rivals)

While this one doesn’t have the same awkwardness as Arshea, the Green Mother, or Lymnieris, it has a completely different form of awkwardness in that you have to do your worship in the public eye. Whereas most Obediences can be done behind closed doors, Ssila demands that you perform their ritual where people can see you, which may see you fined or even jailed depending on public decency laws. One could take ‘public’ to just mean ‘among other people’ and thus walk around in the nude among your party members, or in a communal bath hall, or in a restroom somewhere. Your weirdness could possibly be gotten used to among your party, but everywhere else? Hope you like dirty looks and people walking up to you with handcuffs and a warrant. The faith of the Colorless Lord is not for people with shame.

Also, this Obedience requires you to know the Protean language. Not much of an impediment considering learning new languages is as easy as plonking a single point in Linguistics. Bleaching your hair may be the more difficult portion of this Obedience, because what if you’re bald? Or a hairless race? Does Ssila accept bleaching of the skin or scales? That might be painful, actually. I hope it doesn’t have to be a chemical bleaching either, because then casters can use Prestidigitation to slowly ‘paint’ themselves white with the spell–actually that sounds really cool, just tracing a finger over yourself or trailing a hand through your hair and turning everything you touch white. I hope that’s an option!

Hell of a benefit, too, giving you almost a full suite of protection from Lawful creatures. Unfortunately it may not come up, as very few worldly creatures have the Lawful subtype, meaning you’ll have to battle Outsiders before this little benefit is useful. Depending on your campaign, you may not see this benefit used at all, which is a damn shame and something you really don’t want to see, but thankfully the Boons granted by the Colorless Lord more than make up for what may be a blank benefit…

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#3dh #commander #edh #magic the gathering

While 2es art has been pretty stellar for the most part I gotta say I’m not a huge fan of how much whimsy has been sucked out of the Proteans, who now look significantly more predatory and draconic than their 1e forms, trading their fanciful colors away for way more teeth and claws. These are cool monster designs, but they’ve lost a lot of what makes them Protean. It scrapes a little too uncomfortably close to Good And Beautiful Humanoid Law vs Evil Reptilian Alien Monster Chaos for my tastes.

The only one I feel is a specific upgrade is the Imentesh (blue with the bright red feathers), though I wish it still kept the goofy bird beak of its 1e incarnation.

An Introduction to 3DH

Welcome fellow planeswalkers, to this first post of mine: an introduction to the variant Commander style, 3DH.

3DH is a format played primarily on MTGO, though one would likely be able to translate it into paper with some difficulty. The main difference for 3DH is in the name, that the total cost of the deck, including the commander but excluding basic lands, has to be equal to or less than 3 tix. The official site that is used for determining prices is Goatbots, as they are both friendly and willing to provide a snapshot of the price data to be used in the 3DH deck building spreadsheet.

While the idea of such a sharp budget restriction may seem unappealing, due to the nature of MTGO’s economy, some cards that cost hundreds of dollars in paper can be purchased for the equivalent of pennies digitally. For those of you wondering about how new cards released are priced and when, the official prices are set in 3 month seasons between each release of a Standard-legal set, with the new prices being locked in around 2 weeks after the release on MTGO to allow them to settle.

Those who are interested in learning more, or finding a community to play games of 3DH with should check out the Discord server run by Jeremy Noell, one of the 4 current hosts of Commander Versus produced by Star City Games, where the most recent rules and information about the 3DH format can be found. https://discord.gg/GFr3rye

egobarri

Steps:

PM me with your commission request.

Once I accept it, go to my Ko-fi account and buy the number of coffees your commission costs.

After the payment is done, notify me and I’ll start working on your drawing; it will be sent via your email when it’s finished.

Extra info:

I can draw a fandom character or your OC, in which case I will need references (the more the better).

I am not drawing NSFW or furries (nor full bodies or complex backgrounds… for now).

No refunds (unless I can’t do your drawing properly for any reason).

If you don’t mind (tell me otherwise, please), I will post your commission in my page.

Any questions? Just ask 😊

steffyanie

Curious if anyone would be interested in character commissions done by me? I want to make an official post but I need more examples and, heh, don’t know that anyone would want my art. I’m also considering works for a Redbubble account…

I’d love to draw OCs, tabletop characters, fan characters, etc. because I love them so very much!! Tabletop roleplaying games are my favorite! These are some examples of detailed line-arts (WIP) and simple loose color sketches. I love doing detailed art, and am 100% ok with NSFW…

nnintendoe-deactivated20210629

Reblog if you have read fan fiction better than some published books

Help me prove a point

desert-neon

I have never reblogged anything faster.

imagine-assembling-the-avengers

I reblog this every single time that it crosses my dash.

Screaming I need a judge like I need an adult.

athez-chronarch

Oh gosh, that feel so hard. I’m the closest thing my EDH group has to a judge and I really needed a judge the last time we played for one guy in particular. *shudders*

Come tell me your edh story's!

Fill my ask box or reblog this!

galleryofthewolf

So I was playing my Ezuri, Claw of Progress deck against my friend the other day. I cast whirler rogue after receiving a ton of experience counters from an avenger of zendikar. As I said it, my friend responded with “What the fuck is a whirler rogue?!” He picked up the card and was like “ok, whatever.” Over the course of the next two turns I used whirler rogue to make massive dudes unblockable and crushed him. After the game there was a long silence, then my friend screamed out “WHAT THE FUCK IS A WHIRLER ROGUE?!!!!!” This is now a running joke response to anything confusing that happens in our games.

That seems like a fun card for the deck I might have to give it a try.

its-fuuka

I almost never win any matches at my commander league, due to my opponents playing the highest-tier decks they can make, whereas I make what is available to a McDonald’s fry cook. However, due to the points system we have for the league that rewards you for doing certain objectives (like having ten tokens out, saving your ass, starting a turn with one life), I’m always second. One day I was the first person to die, but I racked up so many objective points (Meren with Avenger of Zendikar for tokens, and I used Phyrexian Plaguelord to save myself from defeat enough times for more points) that I still came in second for points, even if I was supposed to lose.

Of course, there was that one time I had 12 tokens out, gave them all to Bloodspore Thirnax, put Avenger back out, and then played Mikaeus. I then played Mycoloth, sacrificed twelve tokens, sacrificed Avenger, who came back, so I sacrificed the other twelve tokens, and then sacrificed Avenger again, bringing me to 26 sacrifices, which put him at 42 +1/+1 counters. Then Thirnax gave him 12 more, making him have 54 +1/+1 counters. Each turn I was making 54 13/13 tokens.

then a guy played cyclonic rift because he hates fun

Cyclonic rift is the bane of any meren decks existence. I’d rather my creatures die lol. But that wounds like an amazing and impressive deck.

marzzombie

i was playing mono black sheoldred, and i comboed out on a wurmcoil/nim deathmantle/ashnods altar build and attacked each player with 1,000,000,000 wurm tokens. then this dude plays mirror match. and gets 1,000,000,000 wurm tokens. both of our life totals go through the roof and then i make 8,000,000,000,000,000,000 more tokens. fun times :D

commandtower-solring-go-deactiv

Have I mentioned that wurmcoil is my favourite card. I’d love to create that many wurms. Maybe I should put a wurmcoil in my omnath deck lol. Maybe not.

The best story I had was when a mate of mine played a match of EDH with a deck he borrowed from the (and I’m borrowing analogies) Maccas’s Fry cook of our group. In one match he cast Jokulhaups 3 times, activated Karn’s Ultimate, then cast Jokulhaups again. Effectively needing us to start the game again 5 times. It took way too long, that match.

geralf-stitcher-of-trostad

To many resets for this guy

yourrightfulking

Once, in my Meren deck, I managed to ult a Liliana, Defiant Necromancer against a Roon player. I then killed his board with Attrition, so at the end of the turn everything came back to my side. I then locked him out with his own stonehorn dignitary, by sacrificing it every turn. Good times.

i was playing an old build of my jor kadeen deck, which had norin to help proc myr generator and purphoros. so its down to me and the trostani player, and im just barely surviving each turn, while slowly whittling him down with norin. so finally, i draw a martial coup. Now at this point I have like, 30 accessible mana. so i swing out, everything getting blocked. he thinks he has the game, since i no longer have blockers. and then i tapped out. one of the players who had been stomped out looks over my shoulder, audibly gasps, and starts to shake his head. and thats how i won the game off of a ridiculously massive martial coup.

That’ll do the job.

athez-chronarch

This is in the days before Mizzix and her like, I was running a Melek, Izzet Paragon Spellslinger style deck. My buddy was running a non-combo Prossh deck and had a Lord of Extinction on the field with nearly our entire libraries in our yards. I had no creatures and only 6ish cards in my library and nothing in my grip. Ripped Epic Experiment of the top, dumped all my mana and hit Rite of Replication plus Insurrection.

Dream Banlist

A friend asked me what my dream banlist would be, and I thought I’d share it here to get some feedback.

Dream Bannings

I think the format would be healthier if the following cards were banned:

The existence of this card is pretty much the only thing keeping Painter’s Servant banned. Painter’s Servant is a more fun and interesting card, so I’d rather it be legal than a card whose sole function is to prevent people from playing the game. I especially hate that it hoses decks with fewer colors; monocolor decks are already at a huge disadvantage in this format and shouldn’t have to deal with this card.

Keep reading

luminous-umbra

While I agree with most of this, I see a few issues.

Keep reading

Do you see a lot of complaints about the legal reanimation engines? I haven’t seen people clamoring to ban Corpse Dance or whatever, so even though Recurring Nightmare would be stronger than what’s currently legal, that doesn’t necessarily mean it would be too strong for the format.

magicalgirlmindcrank

I think the closest to recurring nightmare we have right now is coffin queen and most people don’t even know that exists

ajani

you literally say “it can just be countered nbd” to recurring nightmare which is literally the case for all of these? Prophet was degenerate and I loved it but I cannot see it being unbanned Consecrated Sphynx being banned honestly is pretty fair Wheres the Deadeye on dream banlist? Craterhoof is a bit of a dick but honestly with the removal of Tooth and Nail and Survival of the Fittest it could stay imo. Iona I disagree with banning but if it meant painters servant being playable id be significantly more fine with it

dragongirltitties

if recurring nightmare resolves you have guaranteed unstoppable instant speed reanimation. But it’s fine because it can be countered? Then why ban anything?

Additionally, world fire has too many ways to break it. such as literally any oblivion ring effect + creature.

Corpse Dance exists and is as hard or harder to stop than Recurring Nightmare. Besides, when you compare Recurring Nightmare with everything else on the banlist (or with the cards I suggest banning), you’ll see that it’s not in the same league. Craterhoof and Tooth and Nail win the game with almost no set up, whereas Recurring Nightmare is a solid engine but you have to have good ETB/dies triggers on your creatures; it does nothing on its own.

luminous-umbra

Sure, it’s not as broken as some things on the list, but that’s not really an effective argument against it being banned. Craterhoof is extremely broken, but that doesn’t mean that things less broken shouldn’t be banned.

Also, “it does nothing on its own”? Ok, sure, if you look at the worst possible scenario, it’s not that good. Craterhoof Behemoth is just a 6/6 haste trampler for eight mana “on its own”, yet you and many others feel it should be banned. It’s the potential of the card that matters, not what it can do if everything has gone to hell.