I am single for two years now. That's like 10 years for a codependent cancer boy.
Before that, I had four relationships, back to back, for six years. I was miserable for most of that time. I was verbally, emotionally and fisically abused in all of them. And I still crave being in a relationship. I felt like the pain was the price for the intimacy. Like I was so unlovable that they had to be doing me a favor to endure my company, so I should just work through it, make it better, make THEM better. That's awful isn't it?
I followed the same pattern with friendships. They would ignore me, neglect me, make me their emotional dumpster and once they felt better look for other friends for company.
And here I am now, age 29, just learning how to free myself from that cycle.
Please, if you read this, send a prayer for me. Pray that I can find a better path from now on.
