with drops of Jupiter

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer - 2 in 1

Lord, I am just so so so thankful for our yg... not everyone is where I would want them to be spiritually...but I'm not their God... You are! and that puts so much more comfort in my heart... really really. You are a God of compassion, second chances, mercy, grace, and love... but You are also a God of righteousness. won't You be our God... help us, as one family, to choose You. help us to love You as You love us. soften my heart to Your calling, to who You are, Your voice, Your love. help me to live by 1 John 3:18. 

God, it's going to happen! we are getting married! I am so very excited. :) I'm so so so so so utterly thankful that You have given me Chris... I am undeserving... I really am.. won't You please help me to become the very daughter You have created me to be.. help me to be joyful in who You've made me to be.. help me not to be envious or covetous of other people... help me to support him as his future wife, wife, and mother of his children. help us to love and support our yg; to teach them Your ways and love them as You love them.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer

I don't want to be a selfish mom. help me to learn from You.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer

Lord, I feel like I've forgotten the yg already.. not being able to see them a lot (during the wk) and such... but I pray that as You challenge them in school, that they will be able to persevere and continue to be a blessing in the places where You have placed them. help them to push through the tough times with their friends, family, and boyfriend/girlfriends... even though I would not advise them to date. but.. I learned the most through those low, dark, stormy parts of my life... I remember the literal heartache that my heart felt, listening to "Praise You in This Storm" for days on end, crying myself to sleep, feeling so lonely, feeling like there's no meaning left to live in this world... but somehow, You brought me through.. and I know that You will bring each & every one of them through. won't You use me, dear Lord. make my life a living sacrifice. use them. 

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer

it's kind of crazy that I'm getting married... it's crazier that I'm getting married to my Christopher. I mean, that's what we were going for, but.. it's like.. really happening... there is a little less than 10 months left! AHHH. I wonder what more hardships can come our way.. I feel like we've been through so much... although, I'm not looking forward to fighting with Chris, I am looking forward to trying to love each other and keeping our commitments not only to each other but to You. 

it all seems so surreal.. all this stuff that's happening.. :) I'm so darn excited. God, thank You... i'm just so thankful for everything You've done. all the struggling.. may it bring glory to You. 

20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

                                                                       Genesis 50:20

exactly. help me to love You... help me to show my love to my family now.. not just my future family. 

help me to live by 1 John 3:18

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer

praying for my future family, because I know that all of that is in Your hands. please keep them safe and help me to love them. won't You be with them during the hardest times of their life and the best times of their life and everything in between.

i pray for my family now, too. that i would be able to point them to You and that they would be used by You to point me to You. watch over them. open their hearts to YOU <3

[the-beauty-of-words-blog]

This post has been featured on a 1000Notes.com blog!

[atmosphericmelancholy]

exactly.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer

for future family - tomorrow I'm mtg up with p. David for pre-premarital counseling & yeah. kinda nervous but very excited.

Lord, no matter what happens, help me to live with You at the center of my life.

for yg - I am very hopeful because of how You provide for us - eliza, alex etc., but Lord, help me to know that my desire to serve there is not bc of more ppl my age, but it is bc souls are at stake, and You have called me to serve here. teach me and confirm my convictions.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

thought

it really makes me so angry when people think they know certain things about a situation, when they don't. 

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer

less than a year until we get married & honestly, I'm so excited. so scared, but so excited. that means in about a year, I could POTENTIALLY be preggers. weird.. God, this is all so surreal. we've haulted on our wedding planning again because of all that stuff with his dad... and God, I'm really frustrated and I just don't care :( I wish I was better; I wish I was as kind, sweet, loving, and caring as Sarah, but I'm not.. change me to be like that NOT FOR ME, but for Your glory. the fact that my parents are good to him shouldn't be an excuse for me to not care about reciprocating that to his family, right? I'm excited to have a big family; a new family. (not that I don't like mine). but I'm also scared of leaving my family... I can't believe I won't be living with my parents and Ju anymore... I'm going to miss them so much :/ though there will be things that I don't miss - that's for another time. help me to love them while I'm with them. grant me patience & help me to practice it. this prayer is not just for my future family, but for my family right now. I often wonder how I'm supposed to take care of my own family when I can't even be straight up with some of my family right now. help me to be. help me to show them Your love.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

Prayer - Future Family

I feel like my prayers are always the same..

that You may keep Chris healthy - mentally, physically, spiritually

that You may give us healthy children, as well!

that You will give Chris and I wisdom in nurturing and loving and teaching our children

You may be the center of it all; a4Hg

[staypozitive]

[atmosphericmelancholy]

Interesting but I wouldn't call myself "smart".. Maybe just 'experienced'..

[atmosphericmelancholy]

Dream

Had a dream that there was some sort of religious parade where a girl basically volunteered herself to get beaten and whipped and physically hurt to appease the gods (or something like that). Disturbing... :/

[atmosphericmelancholy]

pray - future family

it's gonna be tough. I was talking w Chris y-day asking him to do certain things and my voice was just so... mean... :/ upset me but I couldn't stop. ughhhh. I pray that You con't to remind me that I do not deserve to be loved but You love me anyway. Hep me to love in that way.

Lord, I really am scared that I won't be able to have kids for one reason or another... it just seems so surreal that it can happen bc I want it so badly (if that even makes sense). but help me to trust in You. also, I pray that our kids will be physically, emotionally ,and mentally healthy! I know that they are born with sin bc that is how we are, but I pray that they may open their hearts to You at a young age and never forsake You as You have never forsaken me and as You will never forsake them. help them to be able to communicate with Chris and my parents & help them to have a good solid relationship with You.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer - yg

I feel like yg shapes so much of who you are, cuz of the crucial-ness of their development during their adolescence! 

Lord, help me to push them in the right direction - by Your wisdom, of course. help me to love them and be their friend, but also be authoritative when I need to be.

first and foremost, help me to be patient and loving. 

won't You teach them, spread them thin so that they will call to You and only You.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer

family. I feel like I'm prone to make the same mistakes as my parents did, and my prayer is that I absolutely don't (lol). I don't want to be screaming at Chris AT ALL, but esp not in front of our kids. I pray that our kids will be broken and molded to who You have made them to be. 

as they hurt, help me to be there for them. help me to not only be their friend but be their mother; care taker. help me to embrace them.

I pray for Chris that he may look to you in learning what it means to be a father. I know that he's going to be great, but help us both to look at You at all times. may You be with him during the rough times, and lead him in doing ministry, Lord. I know there will be tough times, and I pray that You may help me to love him and support him the best I can. but Lord, may You be his rock and his salvation.

soften my heart, O God.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

prayer

youth group is something that even after I left, I felt some longing to be there. I pray for our yg, CCYG, that You will nourish them with Your Word. teach US what it means to solely depend on You, Lord. may Your word be our delight & may it literally be our daily bread.

[atmosphericmelancholy]

PRAYER

thinking about having a future family is kind of scary but OH so [much more] exciting! :) Lord, I pray that our household will be one that fears You and reveres You. that You can teach us to love one another as well as others not in our 'family'. help us to take care of each other & take care of others. help us to give our all in ALL that we do. help me not to get consumed in having the 'perfect family', but help me to live by what You call us to live by - love. teach me to be a loving wife, a loving mother, and a loving daughter of God. help me to love my parents first and foremost & love Chris's dad. remind me that I'm not just marrying him, but his family & vice versa. help me not to get bitter that my parents are good to him when I don't feel like it's reciprocated. but help me to love relentlessly.. as You love me right now.

p.s. please give me a daughter & a son. lots of them.

p.p.s. please keep Chris healthy until we both get really really old.