i haven't made an intro post yet and i'm not sure why haha, but here it is!
here is the link to my previous pinned post btw. i love it sm [link here]
Hii! I'm so happy you're here.
I'm Khloe, and I have she/her pronouns. Aside from what I've said in the description, I love the sky, stories, and making people feel like they belong.
I also have an AO3 [AO3 here] alongside a writing blog called @atomics-creations if if you want to check out my writing!
This blog is honestly so crazy, which makes sense since I'm the one posting on it haha. I disappear from time to time because life takes me away, and when I do come back to this haven, I just post whatever I feel like. Here, you'll find reblogs of fanart, stories, relatable posts, and occasional fundraisers. If you dig deep enough, you'll even find my posts for the Welcome to the Table fandom! :D
Speaking of fandoms, I'm in the Welcome to the Table fandom, as well as the Love and Deepspace fandom. I also love Ninjago, Bridgerton, A Silent Voice, Michael Jackson, Kendrick Lamar and much more. LaDS is my hyperfixation right now though, so you'll find tons of posts pertaining to it.
Oh, here are some tags to help you navigate around:
#my post - all of my original posts (fandom, asks, rambles, etc)
#my fanfiction - rambles & reblogs of my own works
#wttt - all of my Welcome to the Table posts (original posts and reblogs)
#my wttt posts - only my original posts for the Welcome to the Table fandom
#khloe rambles - my responses to asks, and ofc, when I ramble
#khloe's reads ✨ - the beautiful works I'm blessed to have read here
#love and deepspace - all of my Love and Deepspace posts (original posts and reblogs)
#my lads posts - only my original posts for the Love and Deepspace fandom
#tbr :DD - my fanfic tbr hehehe
#bridgerton - all of my reblogs for Bridgerton
#free palestine - all Palestine related posts
I hope you enjoy your stay here, my dear! Take care <3
Growing up feeling like you didn't quite belong anywhere is actually incredible training for writing characters. because you spent years watching how groups work from the outside. how people perform for each other. what the room looks like when you're not entirely in it. you thought you were missing something. you were actually just taking notes from a very uncomfortable angle for a very long time. the belonging thing still stings a little. the writing is very good though.
There are going to be days (or weeks, or months) where you sit down to write and feel... disconnected. From your voice, from your characters, from your ideas. Like the person who used to write your stories just packed up and left.
They didn't. They're just tired. Here's how to keep writing anyway:
Lower the bar (Until it's on the floor)
You are not here to write something brilliant. You are here to write something. A paragraph. A sentence. A single line of dialogue. Movement matters way more than quality.
Write around the story
Don't force it. If you can't write the scene, try:
⋆ A character ramble / journal entry
⋆ A conversation that won't be included in the final draft
⋆ A list of things the character would never admit out loud
⋆ A messy summary of what should happen
Engage with the story from a different angle.
Borrow a voice until yours comes back
No, not with AI. Read something that feels close to what you want to write, or watch a scene that captures the tone, then write immediately after. Not to copy, to reignite your instincts.
Write the emotion, not the plot.
What is your character feeling in this moment? What are they afraid of? What do they want but won't say? What's being kept from them? The emotion leads, the plot catches up later.
Stop trying to "feel like a writer" first.
You don't write when you feel like a writer. You feel like a writer because you write.
You are still a writer, even on the days it feels distant. Especially then.
Something nobody prepares you for is that the better you get at writing the harder it becomes. beginners write freely because they don't know enough to know what's wrong. then you learn. and suddenly you can see every single flaw in real time as you're making it and you have to write anyway while your own brain is in the corner going "that's a weak verb. that transition is lazy. you've used that word three times." getting good at this is mostly just getting better at ignoring yourself.
kiss your screen every time you see a typo or grammatical error in my fics because it means it's home grown and not some ai bullshit and im dead serious about this
if you're sitting on a fanfic idea because you think it's "too weird" or "too niche" I need you to understand something: the internet is VAST and FULL of people with your exact brand of weird. that crackship that makes sense only to you? there are at least 50 people who will read it and go "oh my god FINALLY." but even if there were ZERO? you still deserve to write the thing that makes your brain light up.
summary: Desperate for a power boost, you (MC) decide to break out the Hunters Association claymore while training with Sylus. It ends up feeling more familiar than you'd bargained for. ~2350 words.
warnings: rated T for mentions of fighting and blood (dragon myth)
first lads fic :') i don't know how to move on from the dragon myth, if it's even possible.
An alarm blared through the training room, and the Heartbreaker in front of you and Sylus disappeared as a panel in the floor opened up, swallowing it and closing with an echoing click.
“Damn it!” you exclaimed, wanting to throw your Hunters Association handguns to the ground, but instead responsibly holstering them before groaning and running your hands through your hair, tugging your roots in frustration.
Sylus hummed in disapproval, stepping forward and gently pulling your hands away. You threw your hands up in anger instead, pacing back and forth and venting your anger.
“This stupid bounty is going to be the end of me!” you shouted. “We only need, like, five more seconds to take it down! We’re so close! I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong!”
You two had been at it for an hour. It was the middle of the night, both for Sylus’s sake and because that meant nobody else was using any of the Hunters Association’s training areas. He’d been confused when you’d asked him to accompany you, but hadn’t hesitated when he accepted the offer.
The reasons had been twofold- for one, you wanted to get more experience fighting with Sylus. You had been spending more and more time with him, both in and out of the N109 Zone, and after everything that had happened and everything you’d learned about the Gaia Research Center, you had been pouring more and more effort into training. To be ready for what, exactly, you still weren’t sure, but any progress in your abilities would make you feel safer.
Second, you and Xavier hadn’t been able to get past this iteration of Heartbreaker during official training, and you were ready to move on and never see the stupid Wanderer ever again.
But you still weren’t winning.
“Victory will come with time,” Sylus said, ever the patient one. He crossed his arms, watching you pace with a mix of amusement and concern. “Tearing your hair out won’t do anything.”
“I need to get stronger,” you groan, not paying attention to his words. “These guns just aren’t cutting it.”
“Well, I could help with that, sweetie,” Sylus replied evenly. “You’ve seen the armory.”
You sighed and stopped your pacing, finally turning toward him and acknowledging his words.
“Yeah, but if I start running around with illegally modified weapons, it’ll draw attention,” you explain. “In the N109 Zone I can use your guns, but on Hunter missions, I have to try to stick to what they give me. Even if they aren’t as lethal.”
You suddenly paused, thinking about what you’d just said about having to only use what the Association gave you.
The handguns had always been your favorite weapon. Lightweight, simple, effective. There had been other times when you’d tried using other weapons, but they had mostly been in mandatory training sessions. You’d trained a little bit with Xavier using a sword, but it wasn’t your weapon of choice.
But there were advantages to some of the other weapons available to you, and if it would help you overcome this hurdle and finally feel like you were making some progress, then maybe going outside your comfort zone would be worth it.
“Hold on, I’ll be right back,” you said, jogging off the training room floor and ducking into one of the locker rooms. Sylus just hummed again in response, taking the time to scroll through his phone. Things had been relatively calm in the N109 Zone, but the twins had been keeping him updated all night.
The locker room was also home to several training weapons, set near the training room for quick access. They sat in cases with glass doors. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d even used them. Once Hunters established themselves, they usually only worked with their own weapons. You browsed quickly, buzzing with energy at the potential promise of success, stopping in front of your target.
You looked up at the claymore for a second. You’d only ever used it once during training when you first became a Hunter. It just hadn’t felt right in your hands, so once you had completed your training curriculum with it, you’d been happy to leave the large blade behind. In battle, you were too used to speed to be lugging around the giant weapon. But Heartbreaker wasn’t particularly nimble. Maybe this would give you and Sylus the edge you needed.
When you held your wrist up to the glass case, tilting your Hunter watch toward it, a green circle flashed on the glass before it swung open. You had to stand up a little bit on your toes to reach the claymore’s handle, but you successfully pulled it out of its case.
You took a moment to admire the weapon, looking over the white and black details running down the blade. Then you hauled it up, glad for all your training in the last few months for making it easier to lift the claymore than it had been when you first joined the Association. With footsteps falling heavy, you made your way out of the locker room and back into the training area.
Sylus was leaning against the wall next to the training room door, watching a video of what appeared to be Luke and Kieran posing in front of a fallen Wanderer. He didn’t look up right away as you emerged from the lockers, typing out a quick response to the two young men before finally pocketing his phone. You stood in front of him, eyes narrowed in determination.
“Alright, let’s do this!” you exclaimed, your frustration fading to excitement.
Sylus had that little, soft smile that you had grown to cherish when he looked up.
“Looks like the kitten is ready to-”
His gaze fell to the claymore in your hands and he immediately stopped talking. It wasn’t often you saw him look fazed by anything, but in that moment, he looked… uncertain. It was unsettling. Your excitement wavered for a moment, your lips tugging down.
“Sylus, are you-”
“Ready to try again,” Sylus suddenly finished, completing his sentence and pushing off the wall. His features smoothed out, but his eyes still flicked back and forth between your face and the claymore. “That’s an unexpected choice.”
“I think the extra power will give me the boost I need,” you explained, pulling the blade with you as you approached the center of the training arena. “It’s worth a shot, I think.”
Sylus nodded slowly, rolling his shoulders as he followed after you.
“It just doesn’t seem your style, sweetie. You value speed. If you want to try a blade, there are better options. Doesn’t your little Hunter partner use a sword?”
That should’ve tipped you off. Sylus wasn’t really one to mention Xavier out of the blue. But your head was only focused on the promise of finally defeating Heartbreaker and ditching the training arena to go get some kind of late-night meal.
“Yeah, I’ve used one before, but I’m willing to give up some speed for power,” you said. You stepped on the button in the middle of the arena to trigger the release of Heartbreaker. “Let’s give it a shot. I’m ready to be done with this.”
If you’d looked back at Sylus, you would’ve seen him frowning slightly, his eyes stuck on the claymore in your hands. But he didn’t waver as he settled into a battle stance, calming his breath as a panel in the floor rose, revealing Heartbreaker.
“Let’s do this!” you exclaimed, tensing before rushing forward.
Any exhaustion in your veins vanished as you entered battle, the adrenaline and glee of the fight taking over. Your movements weren’t as fluid as you wished, but you successfully hauled the claymore through the air, sending powerful slices through Heartbreaker as Sylus danced around you, making up for your lack of mobility with his quick, precise strikes.
It was obvious that the battle was going better than your previous attempts almost instantly. You huffed and strained as you swung the claymore, but you pushed through the unfamiliarity as you and Sylus viciously attacked the Wanderer, dodging its attacks and love letters with the practiced grace of two fighters whose instinct to work together was as natural as breathing.
A well-placed kick by Sylus sent the Wanderer sprawling towards you. You quickly glanced up at the timer on the wall, which displayed 15 seconds left before the trial ended. A smile lit up your face as you rushed toward Heartbreaker, knowing victory was in your grasp. You leapt forward, swinging the blade across your vision and then turning with the momentum, letting out a yell as you thrust forward and drove the blade through Heartbreaker.
The instant the blade ran through the Wanderer, you froze. It was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped down your back. Your muscles all tensed and even your breathing stopped. Your eyes blew wide as you looked down at your hands, clutching the claymore’s hilt only a few inches from where it was embedded into Heartbreaker.
The Wanderer dissolved around the blade. Without a body to hold the heavy blade up, the tip of the claymore fell down, embedding into the floor, but your muscles still couldn’t move. Your heartbeat felt like it was shaking your chest.
Sylus sighed as he watched the Wanderer dissolve, stretching his arms.
“Well, you can go back to your guns now. That’s enough of that,” he drawled. “Let’s… are you alright?”
He finally looked at your pose and expression, his brows furrowing with concern as he took in your frozen state. You wanted to call out to him, but it felt like your throat was closed. You couldn’t get yourself to blink, but tears began to well up and spill down your cheeks.
Sylus called out your name, rushing forward and resting his hands on your shoulders, crouching down to look into your eyes.
“You need to breathe. Tell me what’s wrong,” he asked desperately, but you couldn’t form any words. Your chest shook as you tried to breathe, but you just couldn’t, and you couldn’t rip your gaze away from where your hands had an iron grip on the hilt of the claymore.
Even though you couldn’t make yourself blink, the sight before you temporarily flashed to a scene you realized you’d seen before.
You held the black and red claymore with shaking hands covered in blood. The air you breathed hurt your lungs, but you couldn’t stop gasping in horror at the sight of your cursed weapon embedded in Sylus’s chest. Grief and horror beyond belief shattered your heart.
There’s… so much blood.
Your dragon was gone.
You let out a choked gasp, trying desperately to get air into your lungs, but it wouldn’t work. Sylus desperately shook your shoulders, trying to snap you out of your stupor to no avail. Then his eyes trailed away from your face and down to your trembling hands. A small breath escaped his lips and he pulled his hands away from your shoulders, bringing them over your hands and stepping forward, making a distinct effort to stay well to the side of the claymore.
“N-no,” you finally gasped out, even though your chest was still burning. “No, don’t- stay away- go, please, don’t make me do it again-!”
You were only half aware of what you were saying. It felt instinctive, something primal and automatic in your body and mind instead of a conscious choice of words.
Sylus winced, lowering his head, unable to meet your eyes as he carefully pried your hands off the hilt of the claymore.
“It’s okay,” he soothed. “It’s okay, just let it go, just like that.”
Just before he was ready to start using his Evol to assist, he successfully pulled the claymore loose. The weapon clattered to the ground with an echoing clang that seemed to snap you out of your stupor.
Your knees gave out from beneath you, but Sylus was there to steady you, carefully guiding you to the floor and kneeling beside you. Even though you were able to breathe now, your shoulders shook as you gasped and cried, looking down at your now-empty hands in confusion and horror.
“Keep breathing,” Sylus murmured encouragingly, gently cupping the back of your head with one of his hands and pulling you into your chest, his other hand gently running down your back. “It’s alright.”
For a few seconds, or minutes, or maybe even an hour, you weren’t sure, you cried into Sylus’s chest, overwhelmed with emotions and flashes of memories from a lifetime ago.
A field of blooming red flowers.
“Did you forget what I truly am?”
Laughing and holding hands as you walked through a market.
“You must press on.”
My dragon is gone.
My dragon… was gone.
But, now…
Finally, you managed to get ahold of yourself, her breathing steadying out and tears finally stopping their cascade down your cheeks. You came back to your body, your shoulders slumping with exhaustion after being tense for so long. You were tempted to stay wrapped in Sylus’s arms, but…
You had to look at him.
You pulled away, looking up and meeting Sylus’s worried, frightened, eyes with your own. He brought a hand up to your cheek, his expression longing and apologetic and scared all at once. His thumb wiped away a stray tear.
“What happened?” he asked quietly, even though the look in his eyes told you he already knew. You took a deep, shaky breath.
“I… remember,” you managed to say, your head spinning with the impossible implications of the scenes flashing through your mind.
You raised a hand to Sylus’s head, running your hands through his silver hair, hesitating where you now remembered black horns used to be. Your gaze fell down, meeting his scarlet eyes, your mind reeling as every moment you’d spent with him snapped into focus with new context.
What could you even say? There were no words to describe what you felt in that moment.
You were scared. You were sorry. You were confused. But joy was also starting to blossom in your chest. Your hand trailed down to rest on his cheek, and a trembling, weak laugh escaped your lips.
i remember watching sy's dragon myth a couple days ago and being enamored by the storyline, as tragic as it was. you beautifully wove the memory with the present, so much so that i actually gasped when i got to where MC remembered the dragon timeline.
i also like the way sylus is here. glued to his phone (me too king) but also so wonderfully attentive. LOVE how bittersweet his initial emotions were, and how he set his pain aside to prioritize MC. i love him your honor 🥹
beautiful. 10/10. thank you for writing this! <333
"i love you, person on the internet. i may not know you but i love you. you may not know me but i love you. you’re an amazing person and you deserve to live. live for me, because i love you even if you have no idea who i am. no one deserves to feel suicidal. you’re a very important person to someone."
