It's amusing how some new hires think they can trick and prank me.
I've been here longer than any of you.
I know my way around.
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@atrocitatealpha
It's amusing how some new hires think they can trick and prank me.
I've been here longer than any of you.
I know my way around.
agenthandlebar replied to your post:A potential pay grade raise to anyone who brings...
[maybe shows up with a few turkey’s trussed over his shoulder] If they’ve been eliminated, are we allowed to hold onto the corpse for cooking purposes, sir?
I suppose so. Don't make a mess.
Fifty turkeys are freed in the boss man's office.
[The Director ignores them, steps out of his office, closes to the door and gets a grunt to come clean them out. This isn't his first time at the rodeo and he has more important things to worry about than turkeys, especially ones easily captured in a single room.]
A potential pay grade raise to anyone who brings me a bird.
Alive or dead.
Someone has been wasting our medical resources which, need I remind everyone, are limited are should not be used sparingly and as pick ups whenever you stub your toe or manage to enrage one of my scientists.
atrocitatealpha replied to your post:I can only presume I will obtain a substantial…
My apologies Colorado, my records indicated you had done nothing of note within the last week and thus you were left off the list. Consider yourself 12th.
Your apology is accepted, but I will respectfully decline your generous offer of 12th.
Interesting. Why would you think a ranking from me is: a) something you can simply shrug off, and b) why not simple take the rank, Agent Colorado?
LEADERBOARD
FILSS suffered a computing issue while we were upgrading her core and I have tallied the Leaderboard results for this week instead. Those who ranked in our top 15 may expect a pay raise. Those who ranked in our bottom five can expect a pay deduction.
Texas
Carolina
York
Wyoming
North
South
Washington
Maine
Connecticut
Florida
Iowa
Oregon
West Virginia
Alaska
Delaware
Massachusetts
Maryland
New Mexico
Oklahoma
Virginia
Kansas
Arizona
Nevada
New Jersey
Pennsylvania
Illinois
Mississippi
Kentucky
California
Recovery-ONE and Recovery-FOUR
Alternative methods of collecting Agent CALIFORNIA have been chosen. You may both return to your usual schedules.
ATTENTION:
Pay raises and demotions to come in the next week.
The joke is he’s a horrible single father.
"You completely misunderstand me, sir. I am saying that particular incident is not my fault. Though if you truly wish me to regard it as such, I will." He was lying through his teeth on that account, but he knew it didn’t matter. Not now. There was nothing left of that incident, to his knowledge, but his own heightened fear of needles; It would make no difference whether he believed it to be his fault or not.
And either way it certainly didn’t seem to be helping his case. Maryland could see only one more option at this point. “Sir, I have a suggestion,” he said, after a moment of silence after the Director’s last comment, “If you desire effort, if my performance on the ship is unsatisfactory to you, perhaps it would be a good idea… to get me off of the ship. I haven’t been on many missions and thus I haven’t succeeded very often. I sincerely feel it would give you a more accurate representation of my worth, considering missions are what compose the records you claim to be better than what you’re seeing. If I disappoint you again, I will have no qualms with you sending me home. But I swear I won’t.”
The Director paused in his musings to stare unblinkingly at Maryland. "An Agent of Project Freelancer must succeed both in the field and on board, Maryland. It is the balance between a life and discipline on board that reflects well on the field."
He tapped his fingers against his desk slowly. "If you could choose to go on a mission with anyone on board, who would you choose?"
She didn’t fidget, she stared at the back of his head, waiting and squinting at the strands, trying to decide how many grey hairs were new and not at all trying to peek around him to see what he was reviewing. When he turned, she straightened up, feeling stuffy in the uniform but nonetheless sitting about as normal and comfortable as possible.
"What can I say, sooner I finish up, the sooner I get a mission." South replied, nodding a bit as he continued because, yeah, they both knew how to do this by now. At least the review was more casual and lax compared to some of the other visits, it still made the hairs on her neck stand up, but a cut in pay wasn’t much to be afraid of if it didn’t go good.
Her eyes lit up when he said he was impressed, though his offer sent a rush of conflicting emotions through her. On one hand, her own squad would be awesome, like Carolina had a squad, she’d get her own. North wasn’t given that offer, as far as she knew anyways, just her. But on the other hand, the thought of not being in the squad, her squad, was unsettling.
Beta squad for herself would be, incredible, but… “Thank you for the offer, Sir, but I think I’d rather stick with my squad.” She let out with a tilt of her head, meeting his eyes and pursing her lips a second before adding, “If I could do both, or help train a squad for Beta, I wont let you down. But if I need to pick, I want to stay with Alpha, we’re a pretty unbeatable team as is.”
The Director folded his hands together, fingers weaving into each other. "It is a one time offer, Agent South Dakota," he said firmly, eyes steady behind his glasses, "and an offer I am only making to you. You show the best leadership skills considering your interactions with other agents."
He shook his head, sitting back a little. "You had the most promise out of your entire squad. I must say I'm... Disappointed, Agent South Dakota. But I suppose the position will go to someone who wants to advance their position more than you do."
Picking up a pen he started to write across her folder's papers. "I'm afraid you would not be able to aid both teams. You could have to pick one. If you wish to continue working under Carolina and with your brother I have no problems with that. There are other agents I can call on."
"Director, sir, I would like to remind you I have not been here very long. What you’ve seen may not have impressed you but you haven’t seen much at all." Maryland, for once, was completely unphased, as this was a conversation he’d had many times. "I wouldn’t have been sent here if I really was useless, I’m certain you know that. And I’m certain my records and training scores can tell you that I’m much better in practice than I am in theory, especially since my mental state has become… questionable. I almost failed the mission with Oregon, yes, but the figure stands that I have never failed a mission, neither here nor in my last three designations. However, as for the incident with Colorado…"
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The Director stared at him. "So you're telling me that the reason I should keep you is because 'none of it is your fault'?" He pressed his face into his hands, breathing in deeply. "Agent Maryland. Everything you do is your own fault whether you like it or not. The choices we make and their resulting consequences are a burden we all must bear."
He sat up, staring impassively at the agent. "Instead of owning up to your mistakes you're blaming other people. Maryland, all I need from you is an effort. Not you placing the blame on someone else and then complaining about it. You need to own up to your own choices. You are great on paper but so far I have been nothing but disappointed."
Reaching for a pen, he started to scribble across Maryland's folder in short bursts of neat writing. "You are not the first agent I've had that has failed me within the first few weeks and you certainly won't be the last but considering your record and past? I expected more from you, Agent Maryland. You've let me, and yourself, down."
I should ground you all since you all insist on acting like teenagers rebelling against their parents. I am not pleased. Not at all.
This project is made up of nothing but petulant children who try my patience at every turn.
He was an adult and could make adult choices.Cali didn’t respond right away, because that would be him reacting on impulse and digging his own grave. Just had to not lose his shit and be respectable. It was possible probably, maybe, well he was about to find out.
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"I am in the business of results, as I'm sure you know, Agent California.' The Director fell silent for a few minutes, letting the testing proceed as he formulated his response. "And so far you have given me nothing."
He shifted, green gaze fixed on the agent through the glass. The agent that had been nothing more than a pain in his side from day one. "Your thieving abilities are second to your agent ones, in the grand scheme of things,' he said, "I do not care how good of a thief you are. Anything I want I can get with sheer brute force. You are not as valuable as you think you are and your arrogance at thinking that I need you is disgusting."
His jaw set for a moment and he breathed in through his nose, closing his eyes. "Your trying is pitiful, Agent California. My patience with you is at an all-time low and I would like nothing more than to have you leave my project. So far you've only stolen from me and gotten my barely anything in return. You fight with the other agents, you bother them, you lie to me and you constantly have outgoing messages and while we don't know their destination I can tell you we are not blind to communication and information leaks."
The Director voice was a low growl now, eyes still fixed on the agent. "You are becoming a liability and I do not like liabilities. I tie my loose ends, California. If you do not smarten up, you will be leaving this Project in a bodybag. Do I make myself understood?"