Summary: You have a nightmare reliving your worst memory onboard the Hail Mary. It is Grace and Rocky’s turn to comfort you.
Ryland Grace x Reader - Comfort fic
The stars seem to blink in and out of existence through the window. Or perhaps it was the flashing lights that were doing that.
Crimson floods the hall and then darkness overtakes your vision again. No. Not darkness. A smoke is filling the hallway in front of you. You can see the black soot trail stretching out in front of you. A step forward takes hours, the second even longer. Everything is too sharp. The acrid smell of burnt flesh and ammonia is filling the air, your lungs burning and causing you to take ragged breaths.
Your breathing is too fast. Too fast for how slow you are moving.
There.
At the end of the hallway, you see them. Smoke is pouring off of the body of your friend. You just see the bulky, red suit carrying the unconscious body inside before both are being dragged around the corner.
You try to shout out, but the hallway stretches out in front of you and the smoke is still choking you, words catching deep in your throat. Every step is agony, gravity pulling on your body.
Red flashes, then black darkness.
When the light returns, a vignette is creeping into your sight. You try to run, try to reach them, but time is slowing for you, slowing down, down, down.
A bright light fills the hallway in front of you, glaring through the windows. You glance out the window, eyes wide. Shaking hands clench into fists as you try desperately to run to them, but your chest rises as you inhale quickly, watching as the lights outside, those little pinpricks showing life, begin to blink out.
You watch as the white lights flash brightly and then are snuffed out. It's too late. You are always too late.
Eyes glitch forward, too fast for your brain. They are your priority right now.
You keep running, one torturous step after the other. It feels like a lightyear has passed before you turn the corner, entering the larger room that holds the medical equipment that could potentially save him. The room that now holds the charcoal remains of your friend from another world.
You trip, falling forward. The world tilts and spins. Pain explodes in your hands as you scrape and tear at the flesh on their palms, rock shredding into them, becoming one. A gasp, almost sob, escapes into the quiet of the room. You would have thought there was going to be blasting alarms or terrible sounds, but all you can hear is the blood rushing through your ears, a terrible pounding sound that makes you feel like you are drowning.
You lift one palm toward your face, trembling fingers shaking loose some of the debris that is now etched in them. You stare, thinking to yourself that this is technically the first time you have been able to touch something from them. Your hand shakes violently at that thought, trying to dislodge the evidence of the wounds of your friend.
You slowly track your eyes up to the hospital bed. The first thing you see is a hand. A cut on the knuckle is dripping red, a small droplet hitting the floor. You can almost see the splatter, the sluggish reforming of a perfect droplet into satellite etchings around its landing place, like teeth around a gaping maw.
A burn next, on the forearm, puffy and inflamed Then, a robotic arm, but it peels out of your vision.
That's not right. It should be working. It should be bandaging the burn. It should be spraying antiseptic and placing an oxygen mask on his —.
His face. Blood drips down from a laceration hidden under his hair. His nose has a similar trail of scarlet running down over his cheek. His eyes, oh, his eyes are open. They stare down at you.
As your vision fully fades, the void overtaking the room just as it was outside, out in the vastness of space, lights blinking out, you see.
Blank eyes, no light in them, stare back at you.
A sob wracks your throat as you wake, your body forcing you to gulp down air too fast, too quick, as though it remembers when you couldn't. When smoke was all that entered your lungs.
Your hands claw out, scrabbling to find purchase, expecting to grab rocky rubble out in front of you, instead swiping at a solid mass. It's warm, familiar, so you keep grasping at it, practically latching onto it.
"Woah, hey! It was just a nightmare, you were dreaming!"
You barely hear the voice in your attempt to find something to bring you down from your terror. You feel hands on your cheeks, your head moving to the side, and through your tears, you see them.
Those eyes. Faded dusky morning light shining through the water condensed in the air, covering the white caps tossing and turning over each other, deep waters darkening even further underneath, just like his home city. There is concern there, fear, and care. But also, they are full of life and there's that spark!
You still slightly, no longer stuck in the nightmare, no longer trying to pull yourself across the floor, towards him.
Because he is right here.
You stare into his eyes, tears still streaming down your face. He looks back, eyes glancing back and forth between yours, trying to determine how best to help you.
"Hey, breathe with me, OK?" Grace inhales deeply from his nose and slowly pushes the air out of his mouth. A shaky inhale from you leads to a quick exhale, trying to match his pace, but the emotions swirling inside you are still escaping. "Hey, hey, it's Ok, you're doing great." Another inhale, slower this time, following his breath. It takes multiple tries, but soon you match his rhythm, your breaths intermingling in the space between you.
His thumbs have begun to stroke your cheek, grounding you. Your hands are still clenched into his shirt. You loosen your grip, hands sliding up to his shoulders as your eyes close, face falling forward. You press your ear up to his chest, needing to hear the thump of his heart. Needing to know that he really is here, that he made it.
That he is alive.
As you get closer, Grace's hands fall from you face, instead hovering in the air, unsure of their placement. As your body begins to relax, the fear and clutches of sleep releasing you, he slowly lowers them to your back.
You stay like that for a while. Until your heart no longer feels like it is going to jump out of your chest. Until the scent of Grace, so present and grounding, replaces that haze of smoke that lingered in your throat.
Until Rocky cautiously climbs up into the xenonite enclosed space above your bed, tapping gently on the surface. You feel Grace raise his head. "Hey, Rocky, she's alright." You pull yourself, reluctantly, from Grace, looking upward yourself. You gently tap back a pattern to Rocky.
"Rocky watch you sleep. Rocky hear your fast breathing. Rocky know you have nightmare. Rocky get Grace. Tell Grace that friend human is bad bad bad while sleep."
Your voice rasps out of you, still rough with lack of use and sore from the sobs that had wracked them not too long ago. "You did good, Rocky. Thank you. It's always good to have you watch over me."
"Is great."
You nod back, but return your gaze to Grace. "Thank you too. I…really needed that."
"Of course," Grace says, patting your hand that has dragged itself from back behind him to now resting on his bicep. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Your shoulders slump down. "I don't know."
"You don't have to."
A wry smile tugs at the corner of your mouth. "I know. I think I want to. I just…Just want to stop having it."
His eyebrows furrow. "Stop having what?"
"This nightmare."
"Oh. Talking about it, would it feel like reliving it?"
"A little."
A yawn interrupts your back and forth, causing Grace to close his mouth before he could get out whatever he was going to say next.
"Friend sleep only 14500 seconds. Need more sleep. Rocky watch."
Your eyes close at Rocky's statement. "Can you stay, too?"
"Of course." You crack an eye open, looking for any discomfort in Grace's face.
All you find is a steadfastness in his eyes, the kind of look that tells you he would do anything for you, if it were possible. You blink open your eyes and begin to lean down onto the bed fully. Your hand on his arm pulls him down with you and you both shuffle around on the bed until you are comfortable.
Both of you are laying on your sides, facing each other. The hand that you used to pull him down has moved to the space between you, laying flat out on the mattress. You are no longer touching and your brows furrow at the realization, some deep part of you aching for comfort still.
As if he heard you, as if he knew your heart, Grace moves his head slowly. He brings it up to your forehead, using his knuckles to smooth the wrinkles that formed there. Your eyes close at the feeling and your face relaxes. His hand leaves your face, but you then feel him push back your hair, tuck it behind your ear.
"I'm here."
Your chest tightens. It takes a moment to gather the courage, but you begin.
"I…I saw you. I saw Rocky." A hitch in your breath forces you to pause.
"I had to follow the trail that Rocky left behind when I woke up. The lights were all flashing and—." A whimper escapes you as you desperately try to hold in the sobs that threaten to pour out again. You feel his hand take yours, holding tightly. "There was smoke. And blood. And when I get there, you both are- I couldn't help- it was too late, and I have to see it every time, every night- your eyes, Grace, your eyes!"
At this Grace, pulls you into him, stopping you from continuing. He shushes you, embracing you fully. You hear Rocky…humming above you, little musical notes that don't translate into the computer. Rocky also taps their limbs on their chamber, adding beats to their soothing song.
"We are both here. We made it. It was just a nightmare. I'm sorry you had to go through that." Grace places one hand on the back of your neck, stroking the strands of hair there. "You're okay. You're okay. We are all okay."
You cry into his chest, letting all the emotions out that had been stored deep in you since that horrible mission had gone awry. You grip onto his shirt again, needing to be enveloped in his warmth and scent, feeling his heartbeat again. Denying yourself these things for just a few moments had already taken its toll. Human connection, human touch, and an Eridian's song were everything that would get you through this.
As you quiet, you pull away just a touch from Grace, reaching an arm out to tap the glass above you. You rest your hand flat against the material and feel the vibration of Rocky's echoing taps.
You don't see it, but Grace's eyes follow your hand and well with tears of their own as he sees you reach out for Rocky. When your hand returns to Grace's chest, your breathing slowing down as begin the descent into unconsciousness again, he can only press you tighter to him.
He wonders how he could be so lucky. When he left Earth, he had been told that he had no family and no dog. His existence was boiled down to such small terms, leaving no room for his true self. The self that made friends with Carl, with the other scientists, with his kids, and the self that loved life. That loved the world so much. The world that had then thrown him into space as thanks.
As terrified as he had been leaving, he was glad that it led him to you and Rocky. To his new family.
Summary: Rocky has a question for you about mates. It leads to a conversation which leads to a realization in Grace.
"Does friend have mate, question?"
You look over at Rocky, eyebrows together. "What?"
"Does friend have mate, question?"
Grace looks up from his notebook he's writing in from his seated position at the lab table, glancing between Rocky and you. He seems a bit uncomfortable on your behalf, as though he worries that this topic is off limits for you. Or perhaps worried about how one navigates such a conversation when the two participants are not from the same planet. Even though you both have had to do so for months now.
You are sitting on the ground, working on learning how to sew. The trip has been long and the only clothes you and Grace have are the ones that were packed, but now they are slowly gaining holes and becoming ragged from use. Rocky is in front of you, engineering a pseudo-sewing machine for you.
"No, Rocky, I don't have a mate." A laptop is open in front of you, a book on "Sewing for Idiots" open in a PDF.
"Friend have mate in past, question?"
"No, Rocky, I've never had a mate."
"Why friend not have mate, question? Friend is smart. Friend is fun!"
You smile at Rocky, endeared to his compliments.
"Thanks Rocky. Uh, I don't know. Just never felt like I needed one."
Rocky tilts their body slightly, an indication you now know means they are confused. "Not need mate, question? Explain."
You blow out a breath, already bracing yourself for the conversation you know is coming. It's never easy explaining human things or culture to an alien, especially something that is… well, not well known among humans even. You put down your needle and cloth that you were practicing with. Leaning back on your hands, you relax into the conversation.
"Well, I'm sure you understand feeling close and all the things that comes with a mate." Rocky nods at this. "I'm sure you also know that what you feel for Grace and I is different from how you feel toward Adrian, right?"
"Yes."
"I've never felt that way towards anyone. I've never…wanted a mate before. I've never felt the feelings associated with that."
You don't notice it, too focused on explaining all this to Rocky. Grace is still, too still behind you. He's hyper focused on the conversation, his pencil resting on the page, not moving.
"Not want a mate. No understand. Need word."
You blink, thinking. The word is escaping you, just on the tip of your tongue. Perhaps being in a medically induced coma isn't so good for your word recall.
"Hmm. Hold on a second. There is a word for it, but I'm having trouble remembering. Ask me something else about it. Maybe that will spark my memory?"
"Hmmm. Feel bad bad bad without mate, question?" Rocky taps twice on the xenonite of his ball, concerned about you. "Rocky miss Adrian. Rocky want Adrian even when not know Adrian. Friend feel this way, question?"
"No. Not at all."
"Who were you being brave for, coming on this trip?"
You startle slightly at Grace's question, the sound waves coming from behind you. You sit up, looking back at him. "What do you mean?"
Grace taps his pencil anxiously on his paper, little flecks of graphite falling onto the white page. He rubs the back of his neck with his other hand. "I mean, well, Yao told me back on Earth that you have to find someone to be brave for to come on this trip. Who was your person?"
You tilt your head at an angle, closing your eyes. Grace waits patiently, knowing when you are searching your memory for who you were and how that applies to you now. Despite being a whole person before this trip, Grace understands that sometimes the memories not only have to rise to the surface, but have to be fitted in place with the person that is being created now on the Hail Mary.
"Me. Strangers. No one." Your eyes flutter open, looking up at Grace. His face is contorted, and you know you have lost him as well.
"Oh, boy."
"How are you able to throw your life away for no one?"
"The Earth was dying, Grace. Not just humans, but the animals. The plants. Everything would change! If I could do something to help out with allowing sunlight to still filter through tree leaves, I was going to do it."
Grace looked at you as if he was seeing you for the first time. Awe and sadness equally reflecting in his eyes. The awe was something new to you, when sharing this information, but the sadness was a familiar pain. One that caused you to throw up a wall, to stiffen immediately.
"I'm not some poor lost cause just cause I don't want a partner, Grace."
Grace's eyes widen and he drops his pencil onto the lab table, opting to throw his hands up in a placating matter, as if to say "here's my hands, I mean no harm".
You would have laughed were you not still waiting for his response. Waiting for the inevitable "Wait until you find the right person".
"I know that! I don't mean to imply that at all!" Grace pulls his glasses down, hanging them as he always does under his chin. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing. "This isn't going how I wanted it to."
"How did you want this to go?"
"I don't know! I, uh, I just want to know more about this. It's interesting. You're interesting!"
A scoff leaves your lips.
"Rocky agree with Grace. Topic is interesting. Friend save Earth. Save Erid. Life is reason, question?"
"Yeah, Rock. Life is the reason I left Earth. Life is what I love!" Your eyes light up, finally, at Rocky's question. Who knew that all it would take for someone to understand was for them to be not human?
"You've never had a crush?" Grace asks you, ignoring your moment with Rocky.
"No."
"You've never gone on a date?"
"Nope."
"How did you know that's who you were?"
"How did you know that you wanted to date?"
Grace's mouth drops open, hangs for a second, and then snaps shut. He looks away from you, running a hand through his hair. He stays quiet.
Rocky rolls closer to Grace, placing a claw on the edge of his ball. "Grace say Grace had mate once. Remember, question?"
"Yeah."
"So, how did you know you wanted to go out with them?" You lean forward, gazing up at Grace, making sure you give him the time to respond.
It takes a while. At first, he seems flustered by the interrogation on both yours and Rocky's behalf. His knee is bouncing up and down, practically shaking. Then, he seems to be lost in thought, parsing through his own memories.
"I don't think I really did want to date."
You blink, your spine straightening, head cocking slightly.
Oh.
"Why not?"
"I got asked out. I had never been asked out before. That's what you should do when a girl asks you out, right? Go out with them. I never really thought about dating as a reality for me, until she came up to me."
"Were you attracted to her?"
"No understand word. Explain." You look up at Grace, darting your eyes between him and Rocky, asking for help on this one. Grace hastily puts his glasses back on, as though that will help him explain this very complicated word.
"Uh, let's see. Attraction is when you think someone looks nice. Or I guess, for you, it would be they sound nice or interesting."
"Attraction only for how they sound, question?"
"No, no. That would be more, like, physical attraction. You could also be attracted to who they are. You want to get to know them. Possibly be closer to them."
"Oh, understand. Felt attraction for Adrian."
Grace looks over at you, one corner of his lip at a crooked angle, showing his lack of confidence in his explanation of attraction.
You shrug back. It's not like you would explain it much better right now.
"So, were you attracted to her?"
"I mean, she was nice. It was nice to have someone around to talk to."
Your eyes softened. "That wasn't my question, Grace."
"I…I don't know. How would one know if they were?"
You laugh, a loud clear sound. The tension in the air is long gone, and Grace smiles nervously, laughing a little to himself.
"What's so funny?"
You take a deep breath, still giggling a little, trying to come down to this serious conversation.
"You think I would know? I just told you I have never even had a crush!"
"Oh, yeah," Grace looks down, a slight blush rising on his cheeks. "I guess I don't know. I don't think I was attracted to her. Not that she wasn't nice to look at." Grace immediately backtracks, shaking his hands out in front of him again, "Not that I mean it like that! I just-I don't know-she was pretty, but I don't think I felt it that way."
"I understand."
Grace folds his arms over his chest, peering at you over his glasses. "I guess you do."
"So you didn't feel the need for romantic relationships?"
Grace leans back, closing his eyes. "I guess I didn't."
"Did you…uh…please don't take this the wrong way. I can answer first, actually. I…don't really want romantic relationships… or even purely physical ones? If you get what I mean?"
You see Grace's eyes open, but he doesn't look at you. All of a sudden, the roof is the most interesting thing about being in space.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Um…no, I don't think I felt the need for those either."
"Rocky no understand."
Both of you jump at the computer program's voice. In the midst of figuring each other out, you forgot about the other person present in this conversation. Who doesn't get how humans tend to skirt around 'taboo' conversations.
You take your turn this time. "Rocky, do you Eridians have a way of making more of you?"
"What friend mean, make more, question?"
"Like how we encouraged the taumoeba to breed?"
"Yes! Eridians make more eridians."
"Well, it's that. Although…not always just to make more. Simply for the act itself."
"Oh. Understand. Humans do this, too. Humans not like talk about it, question?"
You look at Grace, a bit helpless. "Not all humans. You managed to get two who don't really care for it, I guess."
"Interesting. Humans on ship different from humans on Earth."
"Yeah, something like that, bud."
The room goes quiet for a second. Grace seems to be lost in thought, his head in the clouds. You pick up your sewing needle, returning to the task that was at hand before all this tangential information was relayed.
Not that it was bad. In fact, it was one of the more productive conversations you had ever had when talking about your orientation for relationships in that way. Having a scientist and an alien who loves learning about culture really was the best way to talk about it. With curiosity. No judgment.
A few minutes pass before Grace comes back down to Earth. Well, back to the Hail Mary, you muse.
"Did you remember the word for it?"
"Hmm?"
"The word. For what we were talking about. Do you remember what it was?"
"Oh. Um. Give me a second, I'm gonna search the files." You pause what you were doing. Mentally scanning through memories and words associated with those memories. "I'm aromantic…and asexual. I'm aroace, you could say. I'm not really interested in a romantic relationship and I'm not interested in sex."
You look over at Grace. Blue eyes stare into yours. Suddenly, they well up, tears lining his eyelids.
Grace continues to look at you, tears beginning to drag down on his cheek. His mouth opens, a little sound coming out, before he shuts it quickly. Instead of speaking, Grace gets up from his seat, and practically crashes into you on the floor, arms wrapping tightly around you.
One of your hands go to his back as well, steadying him to you, grounding him. The other attempts to throw the sewing needle you had been holding toward your makeshift pincushion, by the laptop. It misses, rolling out of your view somewhere on the floor.
"Oh no."
Grace practically jumps out of your arms, face showing abject horror at those two little words. "I am so sorry. I should have asked. I didn't mean to-I mean I just got swept up in the moment. It was so nice to hear you also feel that way-Not like that! I mean, you know-feel nothing. Not nothing! I mean-"
"Grace!"
He shuts up, eyes wide and chest heaving. You purse your lips, trying desperately to hold it in, but you can't. You laugh, loud and unabashedly.
"What?"
"Grace! I dropped my sewing needle somewhere behind you. I wasn't mad about the hug. Oh my god, you should have seen your face!"
Grace stares at you for a second, then two, before he starts to laugh at himself. Through little fits of laughter, he manages to get out, "So was a hug okay?"
You give one last chuckle, smiling long after. "Of course it was."
He smiles back, before going in for the hug. As he begins to reach out again, Rocky rolls his ball up to you both, nearly knocking you both over.
"Rocky want group hug! Group hug! Group hug!"
"Jeez, OK, Rocky! Bring it in!"
You shift back, giving space for Rocky to also be a part of the group hug, but make sure that Grace gets enough contact. You feel as though he needs it.
A moment later, you all separate. Rocky clacks their claws together, shifting side to side in a happy dance.
You sit there, picking under your nails, before looking up at Grace. "So why were you crying?"
Grace inhales, then blows out the breath. "Oh boy, well. I've always felt I was…different. It's nice to know there is a word for what I think I am. I mean, I am a scientist, I want to research this a little more, but at least I have a lead."
Grace peers at your over his glasses, a small lifting in the corner of his mouth as he says,"Thanks to you."
You place a hand on his arm, leaning toward him. "I know what it is like to feel different. It took me a long time to realize that it didn't have to mean that I was wrong or bad in anyway. I'm just glad that I could be here to tell you this. It will save you a lot of heartache to know that it's a thing. That you can be different and similar to other people. It's not a bad thing."
You shift back, but still hold his gaze. "It's just you."
Grace closes his eyes, biting his cheek. When they open again, they are glossy with unshed tears.
"You know, I still wouldn't have come on this mission. Even if I had known back then what I know now."
You nod. "I understand. I don't think less of you for it. Just because I appreciate the Earth by saving it doesn't make you a bad person for wanting to stay and experience it for longer."
One last tear drips down his face at your words. You gently wipe it away with your thumb, holding his face after with one hand.
"I know you need time to sit with this, but if you do end up thinking you are AroAce, I want to personally welcome you. You'll always have me, no matter what."
You feel his face shift under your hand, a beaming grin forming on his face.
"Grace have Rocky too. Rocky still not understand, but Rocky always a friend of Grace."
Grace lets out a breath of air, a little huff of amusement. "I can help explain more later, bud.” Grace looks between you both, a newfound peace in his eyes. “Thank you. Both. You'll always have me too."
Summary: Grace has a tendency to do a pattern of three. Especially around you. You try to figure out what it means.
Three.
Maybe it was his favorite number? Or maybe he just liked the rhythm of it, the pattern, the consistency of doing it.
Grace has a…quirk. A tendency. Not that you mind. You first noticed it when you comforted him after his nightmare. After his memory. He had squeezed your hand three times and you still remembered the flash in his eyes when you didn't copy him.
Maybe you should follow Rocky's method of connecting. Just repeat things to learn.
It kept happening, though, and there was no flash in his eyes. He was still…something…whenever he did it. You would smile at him and he would smile back, but almost sadly. Or resigned at least. Like you weren't doing it right, but you didn't know what the right thing was to do.
He kept doing it though, so you just went with it.
When Grace had to pass you in the ship, he would pat your shoulder three times as he went by. When you discovered something new, a memory, or even something to help you all out on whatever problem you were onto next, he would clap three times or high five you three times.
It caught you off guard the first time he high fived you the first time like this. You held your hand up for the one and you were bringing it down after the one, but Grace followed your hand down, getting in the three while he could. His face had turned bright red after he realized what he did, stuttering over his words, running off to go "fix the petrovascope" or something, which you just watched, not sure why he would fix something that wasn't broken.
Ever since that night, you both decided you slept better next to each other. You also both decided that holding hands was essential. Humans are social beings, right? They need touch to survive. It wasn't weird, it was actually important for both of your mental health. It also helped Rocky keep an eye on both of you while you slept, so really, it was to help everyone out.
When you say goodnight to each other and Grace taps his fingers on yours three times, you don't question it. Out loud, at least.
You've been thinking about it more and more. He's always touching you when he does it. Or at least, very close to you. Almost as though he prefers to do this pattern of three in reference to you. You don't mind it, though, that's for sure.
It's something that is just so 'Grace'.
You still aren't sure why you are on this mission. Grace had remembered that he was a molecular biologist, but you still couldn't remember. Bits and pieces of your life had made their way to you, but you still didn't really know who you were.
So, you decided to follow in your fellow human's footsteps and decided to observe and write down the science.
Over the next week or so, you quietly documented when Grace would do the pattern of three. Who he would do it with or if he did it by himself. The context of the pattern.
You totally weren't just bored on the ship.
The first one you documented was the next day after you decided to stop musing about it and actually pay attention. Rocky had been overhearing your conversation about life on Earth when the topic of video games came up.
"We have everything ever on the ship right? In terms of media?"
"Yeah, pretty sure we do, why?"
Your eyes light up, a mischeivous smile growing on your face. "You ever play Mario Kart?"
"Of course, I'm a middle school teacher." Grace gestures to his t-shirt, which had a joke about the noble gases being knights, "And a nerd."
"You any good at it?"
Grace scoffs at you, rolling his eyes. "C'mon. I got a solid third place while playing at a school event one time. Against middle schoolers? That's like a gold medal."
"You talk a big game. Wanna prove it?" You get up from your seat at the table, telling Rocky with your hand to follow you two. "Let's go play Mario Kart!"
"Rocky no understand."
"I know, bud, it's easier to just show you. Make sure you bring your screen gun, we are going to the screen room."
Two hours later, Rocky has a finally finished his xenonite workaround to being able to play, holding a controller. Grace put up a good fight at the beginning, but you are now on a roll, getting first place after first place.
"Grace bad bad bad at game."
"She's cheating! Got to be!"
"Nope" you say, throwing up some finger guns, "Just that good."
"You are so embarassing, finger guns, really?"
"Oh, as if you don't do that any time you don't know how to finish a conversation."
Grace throws up a hand in mock offense to his chest, "How dare you. Finger guns are a classic way to signal the end of a conversation."
"Right, right, sure. Rocky, you wanna play Grace? You get a turn now."
"Rocky want play game. Rocky going to 'smoke' Grace."
Grace looks over at you over his glasses, a pointed look clearly displaying his displeasure at you teaching Rocky more slang. You try to ignore the flutter in your chest at it. Your hands go up, telling him back, 'What can you do?' He chuckles at your response.
You watch them play a round or two, Grace teaching Rocky how to play and you throwing some tips in every now and then. Rocky takes a liking to Bowser as their character, as Bowser is a character with interesting texture. You tried to get Rocky to play as Bones, but the alien described bones as "boring, no spikes". Grace, of course, plays as Luigi. You sit back on your hands, watching the two of them, smiling the whole time.
"Man, what the hey. I thought I was really good at this game."
"Grace bad at game. Bad bad bad. Rocky great at game. Natural. Awesome."
Grace throws himself back, laying on the platform with his hands over his head. "You would think that practicing flying a spaceship would help me win video games." You miss it, but when you throw your head back to laugh, Grace watches you, biting his lip to prevent the smile from escaping. He's brooding. He can't smile when he broods.
You look back over at him, seeing his "brooding face" and shake your head. "Well, now it's my turn to prove us humans are good at video games. Gotta represent the human race!" Grabbing your controller, you pick your favorite character.
When Rocky plays, they act like the movement of their body helps them play. When they veer right, they shift the same way. When releasing special items, they tap one of their limbs. You keep an eye on their mannerisms as you play and when you pass over the finish line, first place flashing across the screen, Grace cheers you on.
"Yeah! Nice one, take that Rocky!"
"Rocky hate game."
"Oh, don't be a sore loser, Rocky" You say, stretching from your seated position. "I think we may have to postpone the rematch. I need a screen break." Grace stands up before you, offering you his hand. You grab it, but before you stand up, there it is. You feel him tap the back of your hand with his, three times.
"Yeah, I don't know about you, but I think I'm ready for some 'Day whatever, meal 3".
You let him pull you to your feet, dusting your self off, eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah, me too. Give me a second, though, want to grab something."
"Alright, I'll meet you in there."
You go to your storage bin, where you keep your notebook. You write "Day 1 - Three Taps on Hand" followed by a quick summary of how it happened. You don't understand if it was you winning that triggered it or the changing of tasks, but it was only data point one.
By data point ten, you are so confused. It's only day two. Early day two. He does it all the time. When you eat food and you ask Grace to pass the mustard, his fingers brush yours, tapping the bottle as he gives it to you three times. When it's bedtime, he says "Good night" and strokes his thumb over the back of your hand as you lay facing each other with hands intertwined, as you always do now. When working on a problem together in the lab, both of you sitting on stools, he pats your knee three times to get your attention.
It's constant. It's consistent.
It's confusing.
You want to ask him about it, but you fear breaking a rule that seems to have been put in place. Every few seconds after he does it, he looks at you, waiting. And every time, you don't do something right because he looks down, away from you, his smile fading a little at the edges. The first time he did it after you were both sitting on the floor, after the nightmare, you asked him about it, but he locked up on you.
He had stuttered out some excuse of hearing Rocky calling for him, even though you heard nothing, and he had run off. Hours later, you had sought him out, feeling lonely, only to find he had gone to bed early.
Which never happened. And never did he lay down without you now. So, it became a rule. Don't bring it up.
You wished you could remember more. You felt like you were breaking his heart every time, but you couldn't talk about it. He was ahead of you in remembering things and if you didn't catch up soon, you feared your relationship would stagnate, become strained.
You weren't sure why you felt that way, but you still feared it. Very much.
Ten data points wasn't enough, though, so you continued observing. Continued to write it all down.
Two weeks later, at data point 92, you are desperate for answers. Grace and Rocky have noticed that you've been off, asking why you keep going off to be on your own and you can't tell them. One night, you hear them talking to each other before the next night cycle.
You had been going to put away a tool and had come back to lay down, but stopped when musical notes made their way to your ears.
"Rocky concerned about friend."
"I know, bud. I am too."
"Rocky hear friend write lots. No understand what write. Can't hear texture. Friend don't talk much with Rocky."
"She writes? That's where she goes all those times?"
"Yes. Grace not hear Rocky? Rocky say word loud. Grace need sleep."
"Ok, no need to get sassy. I was just confirming what you said. Why would she write so much? Do you think she's…upset at me?"
"Rocky don't know. Grace think friend mad at Rocky?"
"No, no, no. I don't think she could ever be mad at you. You're Rocky! You're awesome and fun and honest. I think it's something I did."
"What Grace do?"
"Mmm, not sure, but I have a hunch. Don't worry Rocky, I'll fix this."
"Friend is near. Fix now?"
Your eyes had widened at that, but you loudly stepped down into the crews quarters to make sure they didn't suspect you were listening. You had come in, stretched your arms above your head, before saying, "Man, I am tired. Everyone ready for bed?" Walking over to the bed, ignoring the looks that they were both giving you.
Grace had laid down next to you, holding your hand in his, facing you. This was your nighttime routine now, but as you both said good night to each other, you waited for the three squeezes that you always got. Your eyes flicked from his to your hand, eyebrows furrowing. When you looked back at Grace, he had closed his eyes.
You waited a few more minutes. Maybe he just forgot? You shifted in your position, unable to fall asleep without the routine completed.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, yeah! Sorry, just getting comfortable."
"Alright. Good night."
"Good night, Grace."
As you closed your eyes, you tried to wait for it still, but it never came.
In the morning, when you found yourself resting your head once again on his chest, it was as though the night before hadn't happened. The warmth coming from his body was lulling you back to sleep when Grace's eyes fluttered open. You felt his head move, so you looked up at him, smiling.
"Good morning"
"Good morning" he returned, smiling at you.
"Good morning, human friends."
"Morning Rocky." "Morning Rock."
"Time go for day cycle. Much work need to be done."
"Yeah, yeah, bud, I'm up."
Grace slowly untangles himself from you, getting out of the bed. You roll over, letting him up, but stay in the bed for a few more seconds. You realize it quickly.
He didn't pat your back three times this morning. He had only been doing it for about two weeks now, but it was engrained in your routine.
You propped yourself up, rubbing your face, trying to wake up. Grace always did this pattern. Always. At least five or six times every day. He always did it in relation to you. Now he didn't do it.
You froze. Grace said he would fix this. Now he wasn't doing the one thing you were tracking.
No, no. It couldn't be that. He will do it the rest of the day. Right?
Three days later and all of you are off. You feel like something huge is missing from your life, when really you just haven't had that pattern of three. Grace is more awkward with you, less touchy. You still sleep at night in the same bed, but something's changed.
Rocky has noticed it too. If you weren't also suffering from this change, you would find it funny. Rocky has been asking you to play video games, asking if you need more sleep, or if you need "to look at trees". Apparently, Grace told Rocky about enrichment for humans and included seeing greenery as one of those things that helps mental health, so now trees are a must for you both to Rocky.
But you aren't amused by his concern. You can barely focus on your work. You feel distant from them, othered. All because of this stupid pattern. It's like a drug and you are in withdrawal.
As time continues on, you barely sleep. You find yourself waking up in the middle of night, extracting yourself from Grace while he sleeps, going to stare out into the stars through the window. You don't talk as much.
Grace and Rocky try their best to get you out of this. They make sure you eat your three meals, invite you to play games, watch movies, chat about Earth culture, and help you do your work.
None of it works. There's something missing desperately from your day and you can't do anything about it.
Except, you are exhausted, sleep deprived, when you get the idea. If you miss this stupid pattern that's upending your life on board the Hail Mary because one person won't give it to you, why don't you just do it?
This brilliant thought pops into your head randomly while you are working next to Grace at a microscope, both of you sketching notes down, not talking.
You pull your head away from the microscope, looking at Grace from the corner of your eye. You hold your hand out next to him.
It takes a second, as he's staring down into his own work, but the next time he goes to write a note, he sees your outstretched hand. Glancing up toward you in confusion, he gets no information as you still haven't turned to look at him.
So, he slowly grabs your hand. Constantly looking between them and you. As though he's worried you'll change your mind.
You latch onto his hand like it's a life raft and your alone at sea. You take a breath, then squeeze his hand three times.
You don't see his eyes snap up to your face because you are too busy remembering.
You are both sitting in a conference room, big windows showing the sun setting on the horizon. Purple streaks through the red and orange of the sky and clouds.
It had been a day. Long hours of meetings with various scientists, mathmeticians, and astronomers. Stratt had told you all that you had only weeks until the launch date and everything had to be checked and checked again to be ready.
You and Grace had stayed behind after the last meeting, just sitting in your chairs next to each other. You were both always next to each other. Carl never heistated to call you two "love birds" because you were so close, which caused both of you to immediately sweat and awkwardly say that's not what it was.
It was quiet in the conference room. Quiet was a luxury these days. One would think that scientists and people working on the most important mission in the world would sometimes want quiet to work, but meeting after meeting filled the air with conversation.
Grace usually also talked. A lot. But he seemed to understand that quiet was necessary right now. You usually didn't mind his rambling, loving hearing about his day and his life, but you laid your head down into your arms on the table.
Resting. Just resting. The weight of the world on your shoulders left one with a tendency to sink down into themselves.
After a little while, Grace spoke up.
"You alright?"
A muffled, "yeah" came from you.
"Can I ask you a question?"
You lifted your head, looking at him with tired eyes. "Yeah"
"What are you going to do once this is all done?"
You tilt your head a moment, before shrugging. "Hard to think about a life after all this. It's a lot, but I'll miss the companionship. The work. The sense of purpose."
Grace nodded along as you spoke. "I get that."
He drummed his fingers on the table for a few moments. "Do you think we… we'll still be-" he drifts off in his words.
"Still be what?"
"Oh, y'know. Like talking?"
"Yeah. If you want to. I'd love to hang out still. We still have to watch Zathura, remember?"
Grace chuckles at that. "Well, yeah, of course I want to. I've only heard great things about this movie." He pauses, again.
"Would you ever…nevermind."
"No, what? Would I ever what?"
"No, no, it's stupid."
You roll your eyes. "Grace."
"No, it really is, you don't want to hear it."
"I really do."
He huffs at you, before turning his swivel chair away from you. "Ok, but I can't look at you when I ask."
"Grace, really?"
"Yup. You want to hear this, you got to turn around too."
You scoff, but turn around, the squeak of the chair showing your compliance.
He shifts side to side and you wait.
"Would you ever want to…to get dinner with me? I know this small diner near my apartment. It's nothing fancy, seriously, but they have good burgers and fries. Or salads, if that's what you want. Not to say that you need to eat salad! Ceaser salad's are really good, y'know, not made by Julius Ceaser, that's just a myth. I don't think we actually know when it was invented, although Ceaser Cardini in Mexico is pretty believable, but-"
You stop him in his tracks, turning his swivel chair toward you. Grabbing onto his cardigan, that fox cardigan that he always wears. That you love.
You pull him close and it has the effect you hoped it would.
Grace shut up.
You look into his eyes intensely, "Are you asking me out, Ryland Grace?"
"Uh, well, I mean, yeah, I think so."
A smile slowly creeps onto your face. "Grace, we have known each other for years now. I thought you'd never ask."
"Is that a… a yes?"
You let go of his cardigan, instead taking his hands into yours. "Of course, it's a yes."
A brilliant smile crosses his face, as bright as the last shining rays of light from the sun outside. "Really?"
"Yeah. Of course it is. Can I say something now?"
"Of course."
"I need you to turn around too."
Grace laughs. Then he sees that you are serious, "Oh, sorry, yeah, let me just-" Before turning his chair around. You turn yours too.
Grace hears you take a breath, fidgeting in your seat. "This might be really forward, but…we've known each other a long time now. And with you asking for a date after all this time, and the sun is dying and we don't know how long we have, I think I want to just say it early. I want to not waste any more time. So… here it is. Ok. I love you. I've been in love with you."
Your hands are shaking in your lap as you desperately try to hear any kind of movement behind you. You wait a few more seconds before slowly turning your chair around.
"Grace?"
No response.
"Grace? Any words to shine a light on your mental state right now?"
You get up from your chair, slowly walking toward Grace's front.
"Grace, I'm getting worried now, you can just tell me off if you need, but please say something."
You finally walk far enough to see his face. His eyes blank, mouth open, face tinged red. You kneel in front of him, not daring to touch him, afraid to misread any signals.
Not like there are many coming your way.
"Grace? Did you hear me?"
"You love me?"
A breath escapes you, glad to have signs of life back. "Yeah. Did I break you?"
"A little. Hold on. I'm rebooting."
"Ok."
He blinks, runs a hand through his hair, before pulling his glasses down to under his chin. He looks at you then. "You love me?"
"Yup."
"Can you say it again?"
Your mouth twists a little at that. "Umm. I don't know if I want to say it again until I know how you're feeling about this."
He pulls you up to sit into a chair next to him. A shocked "hey" escapes you before you still as he places his forehead to yours, eyes closed. He reaches for your hands, holding them gently, so gently, before a ragged, "I love you too" is whispered in the space between you.
"Oh."
"Now that you know, can you say it again?"
You nod against his forehead, getting him to chuckle in amusement.
"I love you."
He pulls back a little, mouthing "wow" to himself. His eyes are still closed.
When you speak up again, his eyes open, staring into yours, soft and happy.
"It's funny you asked me three times if I did. In my family, three times meant 'I love you'. Like, if I tapped your hand three times or if I squeezed your hand three times while we held hands, that would be 'I love you."
Grace immediately squeezes your hand in his three times. You laugh, a loud joyful sound that fills the room. "You catch on quick!"
"I try."
The memory ends abruptly, throwing you back into the present moment, unlike other memories that fade from your vision. Grace is holding onto your shoulders, face full of concern and emotion. At this point, you both know when a memory has surfaced, what it looks like and that they can have different effects depending on what was remembered.
"You love me?"
Grace recoils from you, arms snapping back away from you and mouth dropping open, just like it did in the memory.
Your hand goes to your forehead, a headache surging forward, a pained hiss leaving you.
"Hold on, I'll go get you a pain pill." Grace gets up to leave, practically jumping from the stool to leave, but you grab his wrist, pulling him back towards you.
"You love me?"
He looks at you over his shoulder, before his shoulders drop and he sits back down on his stool.
"What do you remember?"
"You asked me out. You were going to wait until the whole mission was over to take me out on a date. So I told you I loved you."
His eyes close, eyelids pressed tightly together as you say those last three words, as though it hurts him to hear you say it.
"Do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Do you love me? After all this time? Even with limited memories? I don't want to rush you into anything, I mean we're practically different people now and-"
You squeeze his wrist three times, stopping him in his tracks. Again.
He looks at you up at you over his glasses. "I had to be sure."
"Oh. I'm sure too. I love you."
That same smile, the one from the memory, finds its way onto his face again. The lab seems brighter because of it.
"Can I hear you say it now, Grace?"
"I've been saying it. I'm sure you know now."
"Oh, you caught onto that?" You grin at him, ducking your head down,"I was trying to be a scientist."
"Yeah, I caught on. A scientist, huh? That's sweet of you."
"Yeah. I have all my notes on it if you ever want to check it out. You do it a lot. But, it's different to hear it… out loud?" Your hopeful tone betrays your wants.
He dramatically takes a big breath in, "I love you too." You giggle at him, wrapping your arms around his neck.
"Wow."
He laughs, too, "Wow indeed."
"I'm so glad I decided to take a chance. To tell you I mean."
A smirk graces his face. "Was it… a hail mary?"
You sigh, getting up to leave. Hiding the amusement on your face from him.
"No, wait, c'mon. It wasn't that bad!"
"Rocky! I need your help. We have to put Grace in the airlock."
You hear an outraged "What, question!?" Come from nearby, causing you to burst out laughing. Grace joins you, both of you doubling over, causing a distressed Rocky to enter the room completely confused.
"Why Grace go outside, question? What Grace do, question? Grace said he fix. Grace bad at fix."
This, of course, only made you both laugh harder. You would explain to Rocky after that it was a joke, but the whole time, you and Grace would be sneaking glances at each other, excited at the new relationship forming between you.
Might do this after I finish the one I’m working on.
You try to break Ryland out of prison after Stratt puts him there. You have a pretty good heist idea and it almost works, but Stratt comes walking in as you and Ryland are about to leave finally. She had a feeling that you would come back for him, so she puts YOU in another prison cell. That’s how both you and Ryland end up on the Hail Mary.
Might be even better if you are Rylands bodyguard and medic, so not only are you protective of him, but you tend to any damage done when they chased him down.
Summary: Grace is doing an EVA when things go wrong. You are scared for him when a memory emerges, changing how you see him, requiring you both to come clean about what you remember.
A smudge on the screen was taunting you, a lone fingerprint right on the center of where you needed to watch. You wished you could go find a cleaning spray and towel, but it was already too late. Gravity was turned off, skittles scattered around again in the air and some paper was journeying across the ship at a slow pace.
On the screen, Grace, in an EVA suit, was slowly climbing to the damaged hull at the end of the ship. Rocky may have fixed the internal fuel tanks, but there was still some work to be done to fully close the hole created in Hail Mary during their "fishing trip" before they finally said goodbye to each other.
Although Grace was more experienced with EVA work, it still made you nervous. You can still hear the horrible shrieks and tones that Rocky made when he exited his hamster ball to save Grace. It had been a nightmare made real before you yourself had passed out due to the strain of the moving ship on your body.
When you had woken up, it was worse. The black soot and scorch marks of Rocky's final push to his atmosphere controlled area and Grace's unconscious body with blood on his face had made you nearly have a panic attack. Tending to them both was the only way that you had made it until Grace had finally joined you in the waking world.
Now, not that long after, Grace was going out again. You didn't know if he was brave or stupid, but either way, he was raising your blood pressure.
Rocky, too, was nervous. Your friend kept fidgeting with his screen gun, turning it from the one with Grace to the screen with the damage report.
"Grace, Ok, question?" Rocky said over the intercom, tapping one of his limbs twice against his xenonite ball.
"I'm fine, buddy, you don't have to keep asking."
"Oh, Ok."
A few minutes passed, slow progress being made toward the mission zone.
"Grace, feel fine, question?"
"Rocky! Armando fixed me up nice, I promise. And don't you trust my one and only nurse?"
Rocky twisted, as if looking toward you. "I trust you, Nurse. Grace, no trust."
You gave Rocky a thumbs down, but made no reply. You rubbed the edge of your shirt between your fingers, and also kept glancing between the screens in front of you.
"Ok, made it to the damaged part of the hull. Time go for the fix."
"Copy that" you said, clicking a button on the wall. The screen in front of you switched perspectives, showing a better view of Grace on the hull.
For a while, it was uneventful. Grace would update you with progress while you watched his back. Rocky, of course, stayed hypervigilant and also found time to poke fun at Grace.
"Grace, take long time fix. Rocky fix fast."
"Yeah, well, Rock, only one of us has an EVA suit that allows us to go outside the ship safely, so your just gonna have to bear with me."
You muted the comms for a moment, a mischievous smile crossing your lips. "Hey, Rocky, call him a slowpoke."
"No understand word."
"It means he is really, really slow at his work."
"Understand. Record new word."
"Recorded."
"Ok. Unmute comm."
"Affirmative, Rocky. You are go for joke."
"Grace. You slowpoke."
"Hey! What? Wha- who taught you that? You putting in words for him to make fun of me?"
"Affirmative, Grace. Someone has to keep you on your toes."
You heard Grace mumble to himself about being outnumbered and glad that Rocky doesn't know curse words yet.
That's when you spot it. They glint in the background, but not like the stars you have become accustomed to. You squint, rubbing the screen with your sleeve, trying to figure out what the heck it is.
Your eyes widen and you slam your fist to turn the comms back on for you and Rocky.
"Grace, get inside the ship now."
"Wha-Why? I'm almost done with the repair?"
"We have debris heading toward us now, your right side. We can always do another EVA, get inside the ship now."
"Rocky agree. Grace repair slow later."
You watch the screen, bracing yourself to move toward the door that Grace would enter from.
Grace stays.
"Grace, you need to move it now."
"I can finish the repair! One last bolt and it will be done, we don't have to worry about it again."
"GRACE! You need to get out of there! That stuff is moving fast and if you don't get moving now, it could hit you out there!"
"Ok, ok, just one last bolt aaaand- done!"
As Grace begins to gather the rope floating around him to begin moving back toward the door that would allow him to enter the ship, a small piece of what looks like metal hurtles pass him.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Grace, please! Some of it is here already, you need to move!"
You barely hear Rocky's tones and the program's voice, the fear drowning out everything, and your vision vignettes to only focus on Grace, still taking his time, his sweet time, getting back in.
The pieces start to really zip past, metal and jagged edges, narrowly missing Grace at every turn. You realize then.
"Grace! The damaged pieces of the ship! We may have escaped the atmosphere, but so did those pieces, they are orbiting the planet. You need to get your butt into gear, now."
Right as you say, "now", you watch Grace snap his rope into the next section of the ship before being smashed in the back with a large piece of debris. He's thrown in the air, before the rope snaps at its longest length, jerking him back towards the ship. He manages to grasp the handles where he lands, and you can't even begin to take a breath before more wreckage goes past.
Rocky is singing all sorts of new words, many not in the program. The poor alien is shaking, swinging side to side, sometimes using words that you understand, urging Grace to hurry, sometimes using unknown words.
You can only watch in horror as Grace gasps into the comms, taking a breath, before continuing on toward the door. You can tell he is in pain, every movement causing him to inhale sharply.
You rush, Rocky following close behind, to intercept Grace as he enters the chamber.
You peer through the glass, seeing the void of space and tiny pinpricks of light.
"Rocky, where is he?" You tap the glass twice, a nervous tick you were beginning to catch on from Rocky.
"Grace near to door."
Straining your eyes, you desperately try to find any hint of red, any sign that he made it safely back. That he was coming back to Rocky and to you.
Light flashes past the door, another large pice of metal clipping the ship, causing you to flinch, grabbing onto the door tighter.
"Come on, come on, come on, come on. Where are you?"
There!
A hand grasps the edge of the opening. A few seconds go by, before it disappears. You slam your hand on the door once and you hear Rocky stumble back, startled.
"Sorry! Sorry."
The empty bay haunts you, showing you the nothingness out there.
"Where is he, come on, where are you?" Your voice increasing in pitch with each part of your vocalizations.
"Come back to me!"
"Ry? I'm here, now, Ryland, is that ok?"
Ryland is sitting on top of the building, alone, when you come up. His yellow coat is shifting slightly in the wind, his glasses over his hands that are covering his eyes, beanie askew.
The smoke cloud is still visible behind him, a looming cloud that matches your feeling of despair.
You walk over slowly, hands switching between fists and open palms. At a foot away, you kneel down, grabbing his glasses with one hand and setting them aside. With your other hand, you gently wrap your hand around his wrist, pulling it down to uncover his face.
His eyes are closed, but the trails of wet tears betray everything to you. You grab his other hand, lowering them down into his lap, before slowly placing your hands on either side of his face.
Piercing blue irises reveal themselves to you, watery and red. You feel tears begin to pile up in your own eyes, as you imagine not ever getting to see DuBois or Shapiro ever again. Their families will never see them again. How going into space had been their choice, but this death was not.
You wipe the tears from his face. Hands reach up to grab onto yours. He leans forward, bumping his forward to yours, closing hsi eyes again. You both stay like that, for a while.
You feel horrible for thinking it, but you are glad that you have him, here, with you now. That it wasn't him who had disappeared in a fiery blast. The reminder of time running out made you brave, wanting to reach out further, to hold Ryland close in this nightmare scenario, but you opted to stay. Just stay.
To be there with him, as you both mourned the loss.
Eventually, a phone ringing breaks the moment.
Ryland sighs, deep and heavy, as though the Earth is pressing down on him, like Atlas holding up the sky. He releases his hold on you, almost hesitantly. You do, as well, placing your hands in your own lap.
He brings his phone out, wiping his face, before answering.
"This is Grace." His voice is choked up, raw from emotion.
"Really?"
"Now?"
"Ok, ok. I'm coming."
As Ryland breaks the connection, you look at him, head tilted.
"Stratt wants me in a meeting to talk about next steps. I have ten minutes to get to the task building."
You nod slowly, before saying,"Normally, I would be surprised to have a meeting so soon…after something like this, but it's Stratt. You should get going."
"Yeah"
Grace begins to stand, pushing himself off the ground. You stay sitting, knees under you, and you lower you head slightly, feeling the breeze, smelling the smoke.
A hand reaches out in front of you. You look up, see Grace's weary face. "You coming?"
You look back down at his hand.
"No, I think I'm gonna stay here for a bit."
Grace dropped his hand, before running his hand through his hair.
"How did we get here, huh?" He murmured, "I've met some of the best people in the world on this mission. I'm doing so many new cool things. Yet, I'm also the most scared I've ever been. I've lost a lot too."
He kneels back down, bringing himself to your level. His face is splotchy from grief, but his eyes have that shine back in them when he says,"I've realized… that you are the best person I've ever met. And losing… them… has shown me that I need to hold onto what I can."
He looks down, as if realizing how real he is being, how scary this conversation is. Your eyes are wide. You knew that you meant a lot to each other, spending so much time together, and sharing so much of each other during this time. He had never said it out loud. You had never said it out loud. By doing this, he was breaking that unspoken rule, making it real and tangible.
He looks back up, staring into your eyes, resolve etched in his face.
"I want to hold onto you. If you'll let me."
Your eyes soften, the light of the sky reflecting in them. You don't know exactly what he means by that, but you know you want it. You want it so much. You tell him as much.
A breath is knocked out of his chest as you tackle him backward onto the pavement, wrapping your arms around him, gripping tightly. Hands hover in the air for a moment before one comes to rest on the back of your head and the other on your lower back.
"As long as I get to hold onto you too. As long as you always come back to me, Grace."
You feel increased pressure where he holds you, before he says,"Deal."
You watch as he walks away, off to the meeting with Stratt, getting smaller and smaller, his yellow coat providing you with a bright point to follow as he has two or three other people around him.
Even through this tragedy, even with all this death, you remember feeling hopeful. Out of horror, a bright light, something to look forward to.
Hopes dashed to pieces when Stratt comes to find you later that day, saying that Grace has chosen to go on the mission instead. That he was already sedated for his safety. He was on his way.
Never to come back to you.
A hard knock to your leg shakes you from the memories. Grace is on the other side of the door, waving and looking concerned.
There's blood dripping from the corner of his forehead.
You look down, Rocky pointing at Grace.
"Open door! Grace return. You hurt?"
Your eyes flit around, trying to come back down to yourself. You grab open the door, letting Grace in.
He's sliding the helmet off of him, placing it on the ground before grabbing your shoulders.
"Hey, hey! You ok? What happened? I was banging on the door and you were just staring off into space. Was it a memory? You're crying, please, talk to me!"
You drag a hand up to your face, staring at the shimmering liquid that sticks to your fingers.
"I'm fine."
Grace looks taken aback by your coldness, but has no time to respond.
You start tugging the suit off of him, one piece at a time. "Rocky, do you think you could go grab the first aid kit? Where I showed you that one time?"
"Yes, Rocky go get."
You sit Grace down once the rest of the suit is off, looking him over for injuries. He lets you.
That is, until you start to lift up his shirt to see his back. He twists out of your hands, hissing in pain.
"Whoa, whoa, uh, I'm fine, you don't have to do that."
"Shut up, Grace. You want to be an idiot and get hit by space debris in the back, then I'm looking at your back," you snap, shocking him into silence. "You have a large bruise forming on your back, to your right side. We need to figure out a way to ice it."
You hear clunking and lift out a hand, where Rocky places the first aid kit.
Silence stretches, Rocky and Grace both tensely waiting for you to finish your nursing duties. Sterilizing the cut on his forehead, your jaw clenches as you look at the cut on Grace's nose. So soon after that horrible memory, Grace goes on to get hurt again.
He left you.
Again.
You turn Grace's head to the side, a bit roughly, preparing to stitch the cut. You hear him inhale sharply, trying to keep quiet. You want to feel good about it, feel good that he is hurting just as much as you hurt. Instead, you just feel even worse.
Loosening your grip, you slowly and carefully stitch the cut. When it's all over, as the cloth wipes over his face, Grace whispers,"I scared you, didn't I? I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn't cover it, Ryland."
He flinches, hard, as you say his first name. You never call him by his first name.
"What memory?"
Stepping back, you close your eyes.
"Not now. I don't want to talk about it."
"We have to talk about it. I have a…hunch that it wasn't just me being stupid out there that has you like this."
"Rocky agree. Last thing before remember was 'Come back to me.' Did that start memory, question?"
You huff a dry laugh. "You are too smart for your own good, Rock."
"No understand. Smart is good. How too smart, question?"
Grace interrupts,"Not now, bud," before turning to you again, those eyes piercing through you,"He's right, though, isn't he?"
You nod.
"What happened? What did I do?"
"YOU LEFT ME!"
Your confession fills the space as you crumple to the ground, Grace leaping from his seated position to hold you up, bring you back next to him. Your sobs break both of their hearts and Rocky rolls up to you, placing a claw to his xenonite wall. You place one hand over his, the other holding your face, covering it as you cry.
Grace holds you tightly, not sure how to help. He still doesn't know what memory you had brought back, but he knows that he wants to be here for you now. He isn't leaving now.
"You-you made a deal with me! You said you would hold onto me. But you didn't, you left! You didn't even say goodbye," weeping, voice breaking on goodbye, "And now we will have to leave Rocky. I don't want to lose more people. I don't even know how I got you back. I don't know how to live without either of you."
"What if you leave me again? You promised to come back."
"I didn't leave you."
"Yes, you did."
"I promise, I didn't leave you." Grace grabs the sides of your face, forcing you to look him in the eyes. "I didn't want to go on the mission."
"What?" Sniffling, you squint at him, trying to figure out this contradiction with your own memories. "Stratt said you decided to go, you had to go, to save the planet."
Tears begin to form along his waterline, his hands dropping from your face. "I didn't want to. Stratt…forced me to go. Believe me, I would have never left you. You really think I would have spent the last of my courage to tell you all that and then not go through with it?"
"Well, I didn't know. How could have I known? I trusted Stratt."
"I did too."
You blink owlishly at him, beginning to realize what he meant.
"She didn't…?"
He took a deep breath, nodding. "When we were on Rocky's ship, I remembered."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's not easy admitting you are a coward. And I didn't remember our conversation before the meeting, until just now. Until you reminded me."
"Oh. I'm sorry," you looked down at Rocky, needing a neutral space to look at but still wanting comfort. Rocky nudges closer to you, and you can tell that your friend is listening to all of your conversation, but waiting patiently for you both to get everything out.
Grace lifted a finger to your chin, guiding your eyes back to him.
"You don't have to be sorry. In fact, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you thought that. And I'm sorry that you also came on here. I'm not sure why you are here, but I'm glad, selfishly. I'm glad to have you with me.”
You look between his eyes, then close them, willing the memory to surface. Quiet fills the room for a few moments.
"I… chose to be here. I told Stratt to send me up after you. I may have come a bit later into the project than you, but I was around for a lot of the important details and I have a completely different skill set from the rest of the crew, so I was able to convince Stratt that the extra weight was worth it.”
"You came on a one way trip for me? Weren't you angry?"
"Of course, but, I told you that I also want to hold onto you. I wanted us to at least be able to try. Earth wasn't the place anymore for that. Also, I don’t think you are a coward. I think you are pretty brave, facing off with Stratt with something like that.”
Grace shakes his head, a wry smile etching its way across his face. "You are impossible. You threw your life away to come after me and you think I’m brave? I mean, I think you are brave. Either brave or really, really stupid."
You lightly punch at his arm, saying,"Huh! You're one to talk after today. I care about you, a lot, is what that means. You should be thanking me for coming cause' otherwise you would have been alone in this."
"Not alone. Rocky here."
"Of course, Rocky, I just meant when he woke up. I'm glad we have you Rock."
"Rocky glad to have friends too."
You pat his xenonite ball, smiling.
"Thank you," Grace says, pulling your attention back to him, "I am happy that we get to try."
You grab his hands, placing them onto Rocky's ball. Rocky holds his claw up to your combined hands.
"Me too."
You all stay like that for a moment, before you each settle back into your seats. As though you all realize that you need a moment to catch your breath.
"Also, you know why I stayed out there to finish?"
"You're an idiot?"
"Grace not sleep, question?"
Grace huffs a breath out his nose, continuing on as if he didn't hear you two,"I know the EVA's stress you out. I wanted it to be one and done, so you wouldn't have to worry."
Your eyebrows draw together, eyes looking up towards him, mouth open slightly now, realizing how much care he has for you.
"That plan backfired of course. I only made it worse, got hurt again."
"Not your best plan, but I appreciate the intention."
He looks over at you, eyes shifting around your face.
"You still want to hold onto me?"
You stare back, directly looking into his piercing blue eyes. "Yeah. I do."
He stands at that, holding his hand out for you to reach for. "Then I want to hold onto you. For as long as you'll have me.”
You grab his hand firm, standing in front of him.
"I think I'd like forever, if you don't mind."
"I don't mind at all."
"Adrian need know about you two. Adrian love drama."
Summary: It’s the morning after Grace had his nightmare, sharing his worst memory with you. He wakes up to find that you stayed.
Grace wakes up before you. His eyes blink open, fluttering in the soft light mimicking morning coming from the ship's interior. Above him, Rocky is fidgeting with some xenonite thing, engineering another tool for their mission back to Erid.
Rocky begins to sit up, taking notice of Grace's awakening. Before anyone can say anything, you breath out a soft breath, moving around, getting comfortable in the bed. Your hand is no longer linked with Grace's. Instead, it drapes over his torso and your head now rests on his chest.
Grace felt his heartbeat begin to race as he realized the situation he was in. Then he stopped breathing. You getting comfortable…now included nuzzling into his neck, soft breaths tickling the underside of his chin.
Rocky was above, watching over you both. The nightmare that you had helped Grace out with last night had scared Rocky bad. Rocky had learned about two things last night. Nightmares and the cruelty of other humans.
Grace was sure that he wanted to ask Rocky about his thoughts on the matter because do Eridians have cruelty? They must right? But they are also aliens with their own culture and Rocky was so nice! Anyway, Grace had to table that thought that raced through his brain because many thoughts were currently racing through is brain and a few of them had priority.
For one, Rocky. Rocky waking you up. You would wake up, realize the position you were in and it would make things awkward. After last night and the trust that had been strengthened through the ordeal, Grace was not willing to let them take two steps back. They had been through a lot and he could not imagine that this would make things better.
Two, Grace really, really, really wanted to spend a few more minutes like this. He felt selfish thinking this thought, but he had not been held like this in a long time. The last time he had nearly full contact with another being had been that fateful, tragic, horrifying day back on Earth when he had been…well, no… he didn't want to think about that anymore.
He had relived it too much last night to think about it again first thing.
"Rocky! Don't speak. I can't change the volume on your program right now, so if you speak, she will wake up." Grace whispered, bordering on whispering aggressively loud, almost speaking levels. Rocky seemed to click his claws together in amusement at Grace's tone. "I'll watch over her while she sleeps, bud, why don't you go work on something somewhere else."
Grace waited, crossing his fingers on one hand. Rocky seemed to tilt his body slightly, as though squinting at Grace. Grace waited, eyes pleading toward Rocky, even though Rocky probably couldn't hear the facial expression.
Finally, Rocky got up, slowly rolling his ball out to the other side of the Hail Mary. Grace hoped Rocky understood that he wasn't in trouble or anything, but just that Grace needed some time. Alone.
Well, not alone. You were here.
In bed. Snuggling up to him.
Grace had to take another slow, deep breath as he gave his full attention to this new development. Sometime in the night, you had exchanged holding hands with laying very close together. Grace's left arm was resting on your back as you laid on his chest, your face still tucked into his neck.
Grace's could barely see your face, you were so close. The ship kept a fairly cool temperature, fighting heat coming from the equipment inside, as well as the void outside sucking away any extra heat. You must have gotten cold, the one blanket shared between the two of you not enough to stop goosebumps raising along your arms.
Your solution in your sleep was to get close, share body heat.
He could feel one of your legs thrown over his, half of your torso insulating his chest, and your arm tucked into his side. Now that he was awake, the vignette of sleep no longer blurring his thoughts, he realized he was overwhelmed.
It had been so long since he had touched another human. Last night, he hadn't been fully coherent during the hug, just relying on comfort to get him out of his nightmare. He had been aware of the hand holding, but this… this felt different.
His breathing stuttered again as his mind shortcircuited, but this only nudged you even closer to the brink of daylight, your eyes fluttering at the sudden movement of the body under you.
Grace took a deep breath, mimicking your own as you slept. He was being selfish, but he wanted to lay like this longer. Feel the weight of your body. Engage in human contact for the love of it because that is what it was right? He was just starved for touch. It had been so long, so many days before you had woken up, alone. Even longer for you to begin to get close enough to brush fingers when exchanging tools or holding a hand over a back as one shuffled past another in a small space.
This couldn't be anything else. Grace told himself that he couldn't let himself float away into what could be.
It wasn't time. Maybe it would never be, but especially now, it wasn't time.
He dared to drag a light hand over your back, something so light, it couldn't even be ticklish. Just a gentle, soothing motion, helping you stay asleep.
He took another deep breath, hoping it would slow his heart rate down. He was sure that you would wake up, your ear right over his heart, where it was thumping as though it was trying to escape from his ribcage.
He had started to recite pi in his head, hoping to distract himself, when you moved again.
Your arm reached out from under his side, patting around the side of the bed. He stared, watching as you grasped around, huffing in frustration. He wanted to help you out, give you what you were looking for so you wouldn't wake fully, but the blanket was already around you and there was nothing else for you to grab on the bed.
Then, you patted closer to you, and accidentally patted Grace's arm, lying out straight.
You kept searching, outlining his forearm, then his wrist, the drag of your fingers raising goosebumps on his skin, before…
Oh.
It hadn't been an accident.
You laced your fingers with his, bringing them up closer to you. Now your head was on his heart and your hands were together in the leftover space.
You sighed, before stilling again.
Ok. Mission failed. Grace's heart had skyrocketed. It was gone. Back all the way to Earth. There was no returning down from this level.
Now that he had time, he savored every second that you were this close. This wasn't just comfort, this was right. This felt like it was meant to be. He knew how he came to be on this ship, so far from home, but he still couldn't remember why you were here. It had to be a kind of cosmic fate, a roll of the dice so ridiculous that it actually did happen.
Of the four people put on this ship, on this mission, with all the odds against them, somehow you and he had survived. You had both woken up.
And again, he had woken up before you. Except now, he knew how much you meant to him. You weren't just someone in a chamber, some random face that could have been anyone.
You were… you. You were his best friend, his partner in crime, the person who would laugh at his silly jokes and then turn around and make him laugh. You were so smart, smart enough to be on this mission to save Earth. You held him when he cried, supported him anywhere you could, and you were kind. You would spend so much time with Rocky, explaining words and Earth culture simply because Rocky was curious. You would bring extra skittles to Carl and him while they were working, and run errands for Stratt, even though it wasn't your job.
You were everything to him.
He realized now that his body had gone on autopilot while he went down memory lane. He was dragging circles on your wrist with his thumb and stroking your back with his other hand, doing everything he could to keep you comfortable and asleep.
"I really love holding you."
With his quiet confession lingering in the air, he felt you release a big sigh, the soft exhalation brushing his chin. Then… he felt you squeeze his hand three times.
He froze, eyes widening.
He desperately wanted to see your face, see if you had woken up. He tried lowering his head, peering to see your face. He could just make out your soft lashes, closed, brushing the top of your cheek.
He returned the pattern, three squeezes, hoping it wasn't a fluke. Hoping that you remembered.
Instead, your eyes fluttered. A mumbled, "Five more minutes, please," escaped from your mouth as you shuffled around to get comfortable.
Grace was already panicking, red rising up his neck to his ears and his hand began to shake in yours.
That's when you became fully conscious. Your head popped up from his chest, eyes staring at your hands holding each other. You looked down, seemingly taking in the fact that another body was next to you. Not even next to you. Under you.
Your eyes snapped to Grace's, his mouth opened in the shape of an 'O', words flashing through his brain, but nothing catching.
You both stared at each other for a few seconds, before you blurted out, "You're a good pillow!" before you cringed at yourself.
His eyebrows furrowed and his head tilted slightly in disbelief. A shocked laugh escaped him, causing you to giggle at your own awkwardness.
"You are! You are a great pillow!"
"That is not…what I expected the first thing you would say when you woke up," Grace huffed out in between laughs.
"Oh, really? What did you expect me to say?"
"Oh, something like, get off of me, what are you doing, Rocky, get help?"
"I would never!"
Grace looked down at you, laughs subsiding. A softer expression spread across his face and his eyes flickered between your own and your hands holding his.
You looked back at him, before saying,"I like holding hands with you."
A smile broke out on his face, like sunshine entering through a window as bright as a sunrise.
"I do too."
You smiled back. You then rested your head back down on his chest. "I was serious about those extra five minutes."
You peeked back up at him, "If you are ok with it?"
"Yeah, I'm ok with it. Anything you need."
He saw your cheeks move as a small smile graced your lips, you tucking away back into his chest, hiding.
You both laid there, listening to each other breath, and Grace went back to rubbing circles into your skin on the back of your hand.
Five minutes later, Rocky's hamster ball tumbled into the room.
"Humans awake! Five minutes passed. Time to get up. Time go to help Rocky! No more hugging without Rocky!"
You looked up at Grace, then Rocky, and back to Grace before rolling your eyes.
"Rocky is so punctual."
"Rock's practically an alarm clock. Always comes in at the exact moment I don't want them to."
"Rocky hear humans. Humans talk bad about Rocky. Not appreciate Rocky."
Grace and you stumbled out of the bed together, talking over each other about how much you appreciate Rocky and how good Rocky is, how helpful Rocky is.
Rocky laughs at you two, rolling toward the lab.
As you walk back to the main part of the ship to get some breakfast before beginning your work, you bump Grace with your shoulder, smiling.
He responds by grabbing your hand, bold for once, smiling back at you.
Summary: Rocky is watching over Grace sleep while you work. Rocky comes running in, scared for Grace, and needs your help.
Ryland Grace x Reader - Comfort fic
Good night Grace."
"Good night!"
"Have fun, Rocky!"
"Rocky watch Grace sleep! Rocky is good friend."
You watched as the two went off to where the sleeping pods were. Grace had been staying up, way past the scheduled night time mode in Hail Mary, leading to a mistake that nearly cost you and Rocky hours of time working on how to create food for you and Grace.
You hadn't even needed to shout. Rocky had some choice words with Grace, probably including some curse words that Grace refused to put into the language program. It had all ended with Grace accepting his need to sleep when Rocky had said, "Need strong word for not thinking fast. More strong than stupid. Grace need sleep or Rocky need word for make Grace sleep."
At that, you had told Grace to go sleep while you work for another few hours. You did follow the scheduled times. Although you hated being away from your important work, literally life or slow death in your case, you knew that you would make more progress if your brain was not tired.
You heard faint musical notes, the friendly voice of the language program, and Grace speaking from your spot in the lab. It was hard to focus with sound in the background, especially when doing math, so you threw on some headphones, listening to some music to motivate you to finish your work before you yourself went to bed.
The Hail Mary could be peaceful at times like this. Faint light from the windows would slowly brighten the room and then shadows would overtake the areas where the artificial lights didn't reach as well. You scribbled notes on your paper, using your laptop to look up equations and nutritional information that you needed.
For about three hours, you worked in peace.
Then, you heard the tumbling and banging of Rocky's hamster ball coming up towards you. Grace must have woken up to get something before heading back to bed and Rocky took the opportunity to grab some supplies so he could continue working while Grace went back to sleep. This often happened, for both of you. Rocky didn't need to sleep as much, so he would spend the many hours that either Grace or you needed to sleep watching over you while working on something else.
The Eridians really were something else. Rocky could get so much done in the time he was awake.
You felt a knock on your chair, then another, and another, Rocky banging into you with panic evident.
You took off your headphones, grabbing Rocky's ball.
"Woah, woah! What's going on Rock?"
"Grace! Grace! Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Need help!"
"Why?" You questioned, frantically getting out of your chair and running towards Grace's bed. "What's going on? Use your words! I need to know what is happening to help!"
"Grace make noise in sleep. Grace temperature rise. Grace move in sleep, more, more! Rocky can't touch Grace. Grace sick? Grace dying!" Rocky zoomed ahead of you, terrified. He nearly made himself roll over in the ball, he was moving so fast.
You couldn't blame him. He had to watch twenty-three other Eridians die while he was supposed to be protecting him. Your breath quickened at the thought, desperate to soothe the alien, unfamiliar with human biology.
"Rocky! Slow down, I think Grace is alright."
Rocky slowed, allowing you to catch up, right at the moment you turned the corner to find Grace in his bed, twisting and turning in his sleep.
"Grace not die?"
"No Rocky, I think Grace is just having a nightmare."
"No understand word."
"I can't explain it to you right now, buddy, I need to see if Grace is alright."
"Understand. Help Grace then help Rocky."
You slowed your approach, not wanting to scare Grace awake. You could see his t-shirt, another science pun about the equation for finding force combined with Star Wars, soaked in the back with sweat. His hair was all over the place and his hands were gripping the blanket he had, as though it was the only thing keeping him tethered to the spacecraft, despite the gravity being turned on.
"Grace."
You saw his neck tense, as though he was going to shout out. Or perhaps like he was going to be tased.
"Grace!"
He was not responding to any of your vocal attempts to wake him, so you moved closer. You knew that it was possible for him to accidentally hurt you when he woke, even if that was the last thing he would ever want. Even though you knew he wouldn't mean it. So, you tried to think quickly. Wake up Grace without him hurting himself or you in his sleep or awakening.
You hovered your hand over his, still grasping the blanket. You smoothed the back of his hand over with your fingers, repeating the soothing motion. He still thrashed a bit, but his hands began to loosen its grip. You took the opportunity to thread your fingers with his, holding his hand. You brought your other hand to the back of his, again, soothing strokes up and down his arm back down to his hands.
Slowly, so slowly, he began to settle. His body relaxing and his breathing slowing. Shortly after, he awoke with a gasp, eyes darting around above him.
"Rocky!"
"Rocky is here. Rocky scared for Grace."
Grace closed his eyes, breathing out a sigh of relief. You felt his hand grip yours harder. You imagined that, after so long waking up to a friend watching over you, it was unnerving to no longer have them above you when you woke up.
"Hey, Grace."
Grace's eyes snapped open, looking into yours. He glanced down at your hands, still holding his, then back to you.
"What happened?"
"You were having a nightmare. You are in the Hail Mary. You slept for about three hours before Rocky came to get me. You are safe."
Grace blinked, nodded, and then looked up at Rocky's balconey above his head again.
"Ok."
You held his hand a moment longer, before letting go. You sat on the floor next to the bed, watching the floor.
It was quiet. Rocky seemed to naturally understand that something had happened that had shaken Grace and that time could be…not healing, but give room to something else. Connection.
"It was a memory."
You stayed quiet, but lifted your head to look at Grace, acknowledging him.
"My last time on Earth."
Grace was quiet again. His fingers instinctively tightening on the blanket again.
"Do you want to talk about it more?" You softly asked, taking in his behavior.
Grace took a deep breath and let it out. A tear slipped out, trailing down the side of his face. Your heart ached for this hurt, this pain that you couldn't understand, but were trying to. If there was anything you could do, it was to listen.
"I… I'm a coward." Grace sniffled, pausing. He looked at you. "I'm a coward and I was so scared. So scared. Heck, I'm still scared."
You looked down at your hands, clasped in between your knees. "Me too. Scared, I mean. And as for being a coward, I don't remember much from before waking up, but I know that you have done some very brave things since then."
Grace looked away at that. Squeezing his eyes shut.
"Yeah…Well…I don't know about that."
He threw an arm over his eyes.
"I told her no. I told Stratt that I couldn't do it. The other two science members were gone, there was no one else more qualified, and I couldn't do it."
He gathered himself before continuing.
"She told me… 'that this was her believing in me. Not betraying me." A shudder passed through Grace, his voice breaking on "betraying".
"They chased me out of the room. Her.. her goons. Chased me down. I almost made it to the chain link fence. I don't know what I would have done. It's not like I could have really gotten away, but I was in fight or flight and I had chosen flight, cause that's all I really ever choose, isn't it?" Grace's voice quickened as he spoke, the horror rising up in you simultaneously. "They tackled me to the ground, and injected me with a sedative. I remember smelling the dead grass, my glasses got knocked askew a bit, I could barely see. My last moment on Earth and all I could see was dead grass, the blue sky being covered, then shoes. Carl walked up. I was yelling that they were murdering me, can you believe it? They were killing me, and I wanted to live! I just wanted…Oh God."
Grace sobbed, and you quickly stood up as Grace scrambled out of the bed, knocking you back down on the ground, his arms around you. You just barely got an arm behind you, as you scooted back towards the wall, giving you the support to fully embrace Grace as he poured his fear out into the open.
Tears were beginning to form in your eyes, too. You really couldn't believe it. Grace had awoken before you and thus was gathering more memories before you. But this? This was a… nightmare. You had some feelings, choice words, and a certain gesture to give Stratt on the video monitor later, but right now, Grace needed you. You stroked his back with one hand, and squeezed him into you with the other. You wanted to pour all of your horror at his words and the care you felt for him into the hug.
Rocky rolled a bit closer, clacking his three fingers, shaking slightly side to side. You felt for Rocky too. His best friend was obviously upset and he couldn't touch him. He couldn't give him that comfort. Rocky rolled closer and then backed up, rolling out of the room.
You heard his ball clack around in the Hail Mary, but knew you couldn't get up from your position, nor did you want to. You moved your hand from his back to his head, practically petting his hair.
You stayed there for a while, letting Grace get all of it out. As his sobs subsided, his breathing evening out, he pulled a bit off of you.
"Sor-sorry, I know I probably got you all gross with my tears and-and stuff." He wiped at his face, opting to sit next to you, one leg straight out and the other with his knee bent.
"No sorry's needed. I… whatever you need."
He looked over at you, face red and splotchy, eyes tired.
"Thank you."
You lean your head down, looking up into his eyes, before clearly saying,"Of course. Anything you want. Anything you need, Grace."
A sad smile forms on his face. He reaches out slowly, giving you time to pull away, as if you hadn't actively reached for his hand earlier, before intertwining your fingers. He squeezes your hand, once, twice, and a final third time. You look up at him, scrunching your eyebrows, confused, but squeeze his hand back once. You swear you see grief flash in his eyes, a glimmer of tears welling up, but it quickly fades away.
Thump, thump, thump.
You both look to where Rocky has now entered the room. He stops in front of you both, holding something in two of his claws.
"I'm not still in a nightmare, am I?" Grace asks, a perplexed look towards Rocky.
"Nope."
Rocky lifts up one arm, grasping a small green and blue felt ball through his hamster ball. "Grace call this stress ball. Grace is stressed. Rocky give Grace stress ball."
Grace leans over, taking the small Earth ball in his hand not holding yours, and tosses it a few times in the air. "Thanks, Rocky. That's thoughtful of you."
"Rocky not done."
"I can see that, Rocky."
Rocky holds up a xenonite mass in one of his other arms. It looks like a weapon in his hands, like his "screen gun", but more blunt and larger.
"Rocky need word for protect Grace from bad Stratt with tool."
Grace and you look at each other sideways, before bursting out in small laughs. He wipes his face with the back of his hand, still holding the Earth ball. "Rocky, you… there's no need for that Rocky."
"Rocky no understand. Rocky protect."
"Rocky that is very… something of you, but really, all I need are you two. Here. With me now."
"Rocky understand," Rocky shifts side to side, dropping his weapon, almost nervous,"Rocky scared for Grace. For human friends. This happen during sleep many times, question?"
This time, you take over. "No, Rocky. This is called a nightmare. Nightmares are during sleep, you are correct. When we sleep, our brain is still active and we see events in our brain. They often aren't real, but sometimes…" You pause, looking at Grace. He nods at you, so you continue,"they are memories that are bad. Bad. Bad. It is a way for our brain to protect us, but it can also be very scary."
Rocky slumps a little, processing this human thing that he could never understand for himself. "Rocky still scared for human friends," Rocky stands taller as he says,"Rocky still watch. Good, good, good! Rocky watch for nightmares, Rocky get other human friend. Rocky wait for human friend to wake up to help."
You reach a hand out to Rocky, patting his ball a few times before keeping your hand there. Grace gives you a sideways look, before reaching out too, holding the other side of Rocky's ball. He rolls a bit closer, so you can all hug each other. Grace releases your hand, shifting to actually pull you in closer.
"Rocky like all hug."
"It's called a group hug, Rock."
"Rocky like group hug."
You all rest there for a minute, before settling back. You grab at Grace's hand again as you begin to separate, and he happily allows you.
"Grace, you still need to sleep. Would you…would you like me to stay?" You quietly offer.
You feel a tug on your hand, before Grace gets to his feet, pulling you up with him.
"I'd like that very much."
Rocky begins to move toward his sleeping perch, getting into watching position.
You let Grace get into his pod, before climbing in next to him. You both face each other, on your sides, with your joined hands in between you. Normally, you would be very nervous, as you can imagine Grace would be, to sleep in the same bed as another human that you had known for a fairly short amount of time. Yet, Rocky's watching you sleep seemed to lessen that feeling, and after Grace's nightmare, you both knew that comfort was more of a priority than social rules.
"Good night."
"Good night, Grace."
Grace glances up, "Good night Rocky."
"Sleep humans. Rocky watch both sleep. Rocky protect."
Grace rolls his eyes, giving you a smile. You smile back. In no time at all, you both fall asleep, breathing slowing in time and hands together as your guardian rock alien watches over you.
Summary: You found the makeshift mop person that Grace had made when he woke up and you have some questions. You get some answers.
Ryland Grace x Reader
You hadn't meant to find it. The Hail Mary is only so big and you were searching for one of the many tools that had been thrown around when Grace had turned on the gravity without securing anything.
It was stuck behind one of the many crates of supplies in one of the lower levels. Grace and you never really came down here if you could help it. Grace was avoiding the memories of finding his crewmates in their coma pods and you were avoiding the memories of waking up in a spaceship lightyears away from Earth, only to find yourself fearing not the isolation and danger but the relief you felt upon waking. You couldn't remember what you were so afraid of on Earth, but it scared you enough that the void of space was more appealing.
You grasped the handle of the…broom and pulled it upright. Or so you thought. You turned your head slightly and twisted the broom so the mophead was flipped up. The mop resembled hair and had some sunglasses inserted to mimic where eyes would be. One of Commander Yao's hawaiian shirts hung over a piece of thin material duct taped perpendicularly to the mop.
You grabbed the "hands" of this mop person and held it out in front of you. A little breath of air escaped your nose, your lips crinkling on one side.
"Hey Grace?" You yelled out in the ship.
No answer.
You rolled your eyes. He must be immersed in practicing piloting the ship. Rocky had come up with the plan to "go fishing" for the samples of Astrophage and whatever else was in the planet's atmosphere, but Grace's was reading through the manuals on actually piloting the ship. Rocky was not able to enter the Hail Mary's atmosphere and so was unable to direct the ship. You were a scientist, but specialized in psychology and neurology.
Stratt had sent you up for some reason alongside the rest of the crew, although you couldn't remember exactly why. The crew, from what you remembered, seemed to get along fine. Perhaps it was in case the coma's affected the crew's brains? Why would a mission about saving the Earth and many other stars require someone like you?
"GRACE!"
"Yeah!? What? What's-what's happening?"
"I got a question for you!"
"Go ahead!"
"No, I need you to come down here. It is very important!"
"Alright, alright, I'm coming!"
You hear some crashes and "fudge's" coming from where Grace's voice had come from. Then, his head poked out over the ladder. You hid the mop behind your back.
"Yeah?"
"No, I need you to come down here, Grace."
His mouth opened for a second, but snapped shut quickly. He hung his head down and then shook it slightly. Climbing down the ladder, you could hear him muttering to himself about priorties and how this better be good. You just smiled to yourself.
He jumped down, brushing his knees off a bit.
"Alright, I'm here." Grace raised his eyebrows, "What do you need?"
You just kept smiling at him as you moved the mop to in between you.
His eyes widened and he coughed slightly before going to grab at the mop. You quickly stepped back, slightly shaking the mop back and forth.
Grace clasped his hands together, putting them too his forehead. "Where did you find that?" He managed to choke out.
"Down here! When were your going to introduce me to our other crew member?" You teased.
"Ok, it's not what you think."
"Oh, really?"
Grace's cheeks began to redden and you swore you could feel the heat of embarrassment rolling off of him in the climate controlled space.
"Well, you know, when." Grace began to shrug his shoulders up, so high you worried for his neck muscles, "When you are the only person on a spaceship..in the middle of space, you.. you make a person!"
"What did you do with this person?" you asked, changing your face from teasing to serious. You loved making Grace squirm and never had a better opportunity arrived.
"Oh, uh, not important."
"Grace if you don't tell me, my brain is gonna fill in the blanks with some bad stuff."
"Ok, ok! Y’know, I just… I just danced with them."
You look at him, a pointed, direct look. "You danced with them."
"Yeah, yknow, a little waltz." At this, Grace shuffled his shoulders a little, a weak attempt at mimicking dancing. You struggled to stay serious, a muscle in your cheek twitching.
"Hmm."
"What are you thinking over there? C'mon, now, I told you! Just a waltz! A little square step. Nothing bad now, I hope, I told you what I did!"
"Nothing really, just… Would you want to dance with a real person? Yknow now that there is someone here?"
At that, Grace's jaw dropped. You swore you could see his body read an error note to him as you stared expectantly. The blush that had turned his cheeks a slight pink now fully painted his face.
"You..uh..you, what?"
You shrugged, "I think you heard me."
Grace gave a nervous chuckle, passing a hand through his already mussed hair.
"So," Grace started, raising his eyebrows and giving you a pointed look, "Let me get this straight. You are inviting me to dance with you?"
"Yup."
"A waltz?"
"Presumably."
Grace scoffed at that, looking down at the floor, before peering up at you under his glasses. He then offered you a hand.
You looked down at his outreached hand, as a smile grew on your face.
Grace, with the most steady voice you had ever heard, asked,"Will you have this dance with me?"
As you grasped his hand, you yelled out, "Mary? Can you play 'Rocket Man' please?"
A quick laugh escaped from him, "Rocket Man, huh?"
"Well, I like music when I dance, Dr. Grace."
You felt the grip on your hand tighten, and he brought you in closer, placing his other hand on your waist.
"You only call me Dr. Grace if I'm in trouble. Am in trouble?"
You took a step back from him, and afraid he had said something wrong, Grace began to loosen his grip on you, but you held firm. Dragging him with you, you began to step in a square, beginning your dance.
"Only if you call it trouble when I step on your toes. An accident, of course!"
Grace only smiled at that, before stepping even closer, taking the lead on the dance now that he was familiar with the pattern. As you swayed together, the music softly playing from above you, you grew bold in the moment.
"You think you can spin me?"
"Course," Grace practically whispered, "Anything you want."
He guided you through a spin, and when you came back into his arms, you huffed a soft laugh.
"Look at you! You know your stuff."
"Thanks. I haven't practiced for middle schoolers for their PE unit on dancing."
You stopped for a second, staring up at him. "You're joking."
"No, I am not."
"Oh my god, that is so good, I am so going to have you describe that to me in detail later," you said, astonished, before nudging him to continue waltzing around with you.
"Please, don't. I barely remember it anyway."
At that, you rested your head on his shoulder, taking in the warmth that was now coming from his body. You hummed softly in response to his statement.
"You know, Grace, I have a word for you."
You felt Grace's head nudge yours in response, urging you to go on.
"Brave. You are really brave. Doing all this."
"I don't know about that."
A pause. Then, a voice from above. "Amaze! Amaze! Amaze! You two are hugging! Rocky want hug too!"
You shook in Grace's arms with laughter, as Grace sighed in exasperation, yelling up to Rocky about needing a minute. You didn't know the next time you would be able to, but you were already thinking of songs to add to your "waltz" playlist for the next dance.