@attractive--nuisance-blog - Tumblr Blog

Marketing game on point.

#🙌

MISERABLE BUTT UPDATE

Coworker: What are you doing this weekend?

Me: Staying in Palo Alto and getting a massage, I think.

Miserable Butt: The Four Seasons?

Me: Yes.

Miserable Butt, miserably: Oh, that's the worst one.

Me, smiling: Hahahaha, you're awful.

#and then she repeated 'aha i'm awful' kind of trailing off like she was in on the joke #no you are actually awful #ALSO she used to work there and I almost said 'why? is that the only one that would hire you?'#UGH

*Timer goes off*

Me: I have a face mask on.

Dad: Oh, I thought you looked sweaty.

#THANKS FATHER

My signature scent is sunblock.

#😭

We need to be best friends, also what photo editing app do you used to add cute stickers?

I mean if you come off anon we stand a pretty good chance of becoming best friends. I meet people from the internet with wild abandon. And it’s called Papelook and it’s 💯👌

My sister is having an insect!! ☺️☺️🐜

Lololol 😀🔫

AIRPORT BRUSH WITH FAME.

The only thing keeping me from hitting full pout about my flight being delayed 5 hours is that I just won 3-day tickets to a music fest for making a dumb cheese joke.

#cheese: always there for me in times of need

I love it when waitresses call me "hon" or "sweetie" but it takes on an entirely new feeling when it's coming from a middle aged server named George at an airport wine bar.

I have to start exercising in preparation for revenge.

@consciouslycurating

"You are so beautiful, but so boring."

An Argentinian and a Bolivian at a party, about @consciouslycurating and me.

How to succeed at business.

I just made eye contact with my CEO and pretended I didn't see him.

#👌🙌

Tfw you wear your BEST crop top and corsage but things don't go as planned and you spend the night crying in a Walgreens.

#we've all been there

Just got to Chicago.

Am listening to an NPR podcast about sharks while drinking an emergen-c. It's gonna be a wild night.

Lady in airport bathroom, pointing to a used tampon applicator on the floor on the other side of the bathroom: Is that yours?

Me: 😐

#r u srs

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