Chaotic DC Nerd

He/Him/His, Xe/Xem/Zir GNC Trans Man Multiply Disabled MEd, Curriculum and Instruction Comic Nerd

[chaoticdcnerd]

I think I’m seeing a surge of astroterf blogs. Can we please report them? The ones that tag (censored so these most likely cis TERFs don’t see it as fast) “r*df*ms please interact” and similar in the transandrophobia and transmisogyny tags. These are real, genuine attempts to sow division, and we cannot fall for it!

[trans-for-man-tion]

A list of things that do not make you an inherently good person

Being a woman

Being a feminist

Being a trans person

Being a trans ally

Partaking in kink

Being nice

Respecting people's pronouns

Hating men

Reading feminist theory

Being angry at men

Some of these actions are morally neutral but portrayed as Good, and some of these are morally wrong but are portrayed as Good

Your actions do not make you inherently good and immune to criticism. If you are genuinely trying to do good, you must be willing to accept criticism.

otherwise your "goodness" only goes skin-deep.

[chaoticdcnerd]

I disagree with this, kind of. I believe it is morally good to BE a trans ally and a feminist, not just claim but actively working towards and doing things that promote the underlying principles. The rest of it I agree with.

[chaoticdcnerd]

I’m reading a fic and going what the fuck, because

1. character dies in closet, family mourns

2. character comes back to life

3. character medically transitions and family does not know they are alive

4. character goads family over their identity

It is both amazing, and funny, and the only trans joke that has ever made me laugh because fuck yeah character! Keep messing with your family till it comes out who you are and y’all get emotional and reconnect!

[chaoticdcnerd]

I feel happy in my soul. My body is mine and no one else can take it away from me. It might look different than an able bodied person’s or a cis man’s but it’s mine and it has all the parts most important to me.

[chaoticdcnerd]

I got my bottom surgery yesterday and now I’m laying comfortably in my hospital bed. Longest I’ve been awake since I left to OR (90 minutes) and ready to go home!

[fishpilled]

"transandrophobia isnt real! trans men suffer bc theyre trans, not bc they're men! just how like black men suffer because they're black, not because they're men!" loud incorrect buzzer. first of all, black men suffer because they're BLACK men *and* because they're black MEN. do you not know about the hypermasculization of black boys, for example? a black boy does something vaguely negative, and headlines are all "Black Male Attempted To Kill Young White Girl" and then it's a 15 year old black boy standing up for himself when some middled aged white woman calls him slurs.

Now, onto trans men. Just one example: when a trans man (or masc) wants to start T, he is met with "no, dont get on t! testosterone makes you aggressive!" "testosterone makes you hairy!" "testosterone makes you ugly!" "testosterone makes you xyz!". this experience is unique to trans men and mascs. trans and cis women dont go through this, and neither do cis men. this is called transandrophobia, which is transphobia unique to trans men and mascs, or a type of transphobia that mainly targets trans men and mascs.

[chaoticdcnerd]

Can I sell my joints? Or maybe just scoop them out with a spoon? Because this is unbearable today.

[chaoticdcnerd]

Getting a fucking UTI 9 days before surgery is fucking infuriating and I’d like to file a complaint against my body for transphobia! /hj

[casscainmainly]

It is really intensely frustrating to see the softest, kindest, fairest criticisms by POC on here be characterised as attacks or aggression. If you care more about someone being called racist than actual racism, you are being racist.

[radioactive-earthshine]

Bart Allen's Life as a Carousel of Horrors, Loss, Ableism and Love

cw: ableism

LONG POST

You've been raised in a VR chamber for a possible relative 19 years, but it's only actually been 2 years, you're not really sure what time is, or what it means. The line between reality and virtual reality have blurred so seamlessly realness seems fake and hurts.

You've been told you're dying.

You'll be dead within 4 years if the scientists cannot cure you. Reality reminds you of this. You stay in VR because it's safe and nothing can hurt you there.

You're still dying.

Your grandmother shows up one day, you didn't know your grandmother was still alive. She's furious with the scientists but agrees you are in the best place you can be because you are dying.

She keeps visiting you every now and then, you can only interact with her in the real world. It makes the real world bearable because you can only hug her when you are unplugged from VR.

She is the first person who tells you they love you. You never felt love before.

You are still dying, and the scientists are starting to suddenly feel like they don't actually love you - because you know what kindness and love is supposed to look like and it's not that.

Your grandmother grabs you one day and kidnaps you from the only place you've known as home - you can tell it's for the best, you trust her, because she is the only person who has ever loved you. She says she's taking you to meet other family and everything will be better.

She lied.

But not intentionally.

You're ripped to an alien time where nothing make sense, rules don't make sense, people don't make sense, everything hurts, people don't know what to do with you, you don't know what to do with them either, but at least you are no longer dying.

Your cousin who you already admired from your studies is not the person you thought he'd be - it's for the best if you love each other from a distance even if you're not sure yet if this is love.

Your grandmother cannot keep you.

She has to love you from a distance. She says you will have to live with a man you don't know who never came up once in your history lessons. He is a stranger.

Max Mercury does not love you.

Max Mercury is there to fix you and everyone has reminded you that there is something deeply, deeply wrong with you.

You are no longer dying, but you still need to be fixed.

You make the most out of it because maybe this is just how things are, and there is no use getting upset or feeling bad because there is nothing you can do about it. Video games are like that too - you're just playing on hard mode and you need to practice to get better to clear the level - only no one really explained the rules, and it's up to you to figure out the controls.

You get yelled at when you press the wrong button.

You get yelled at when you press the wrong button.

You get yelled at when you press the wrong button.

You get yelled at when you press the wrong button.

You get yelled at when you press the wrong button, but they won't tell you what the correct button is, and sometimes that button will change entirely for no reason and they will still yell at you for pushing the wrong button.

You love Max Mercury anyway, it's a new sort of love and one that is difficult to explain but you love him and he loves you.

You meet your cousin one day, stranded from your birth-time and you never felt like someone just got you like she did. For one moment, everything feels just right, but she cannot stay with you.

Like your grandmother, and Wally, Jenni has to love you from a distance.

You say goodbye, you don't know if you will ever see her again and you hope your letter lives the thousand years to reach her just so you can make one permanent connection with her.

You don't get yelled at for pushing the wrong button one day, but you know you pushed the wrong button. Max refuses to talk to you, he says there is nothing more he can teach you, you're hopeless.

You're no longer dying, but you still need to be fixed.

Your mother shows up out of nowhere and you fall in love all over again. You are lavished in affection you haven't felt since the first time your grandmother came into your life.

She promises you there is a home of love waiting for you back in your birth-time.

You've said goodbye before, but not like this. You hug Max tight before you go, and you can feel there is love there, but it's not the love from your mother or grandmother. But it is still love.

Your mother cannot keep you.

You never knew what it was really like to be hated before now, and it's not fair that the villain of your story wins and gets to love your mother and you can't.

You start to realize that your story is when the bad-guy wins over and over again.

Like your grandmother, Wally, and your cousin Jenni, your mother has to love you from a distance.

You go back 'home' and there is no home to go back to. Your cousin Wally yells at you for coming back and you're reminded that you can only be loved from a distance.

It's not like you want to live with him either.

Max is the only stable home you've known of and he accepts you back in his life with his daughter Helen.

You like Helen. She doesn't yell at you when you push the wrong button. You can tell Max doesn't approve but it amuses you that there is someone he can't say 'no' to that is on your side.

You are no longer dying, and no one has mentioned that you needed to be fixed for a long, long time.

Your home isn't perfect, you don't feel the same sort of love that you did with your grandmother and mother, but there is still love and you wouldn't change it for anything because Max and Helen are everything to you.

No one gets you like them.

You are no longer dying, but Max is.

You try desperately to fix him because he spent so much time fixing you and it didn't matter if you still don't know what's wrong with you, he is everything to you and you love him and he loves you and you finally feel the same love for him that you do your mother and grandmother and it all goes away.

You've never felt so loved, then so hated all at once when your clone tries to take what you had. You can't hate him though, because he hates enough, and unlike you he was never loved.

You remember being unloved too.

You beg him to stay.

He doesn't.

You don't have time to mourn him, and what you could have had with him as a brother, because Max is still dying and you're the only one who can help fix him.

When Max is no longer dying and things return to normal you know you are loved and whatever everyone said was wrong with you was wrong. Max loves you like your mother loves you and Helen is no different.

You are no longer dying, and you are so very much loved.

Everything is perfect.

You have to say goodbye to your best friend, and it hurts more than when you said goodbye to your mother, because you don't understand the sort of love you had for her. Was it romantic love? Did it matter? You loved her and now your best friend is gone.

Like your grandmother, Wally, your cousin Jenni, and your mother, Carol has to love you from a distance.

One day you feel yourself die and you almost lost everything.

You feel like you are dying again, and it never stops. The event is so visceral it makes you question if you really need to be a superhero after all and you decide to stop.

One of your other best friends calls you a coward for it and you know she's wrong, but you swallow your disappointment and you leave. It's okay if she doesn't understand you - no one really does.

Your civilian friends, Helen and Max make you feel like you are safe again and it is all because of their love.

You find meaning and purpose again as a superhero.

You are no longer dying, and you know you are loved and accepted and everything is as good as it can be. It was a long journey, but you are content despite your grief because you are loved.

... ... ... ... ... ...

Max dies.

No, he doesn't just die, he's gone, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

You think he will be back any day now and it fills you with hope. You still have a home with Helen and all of your friends and you will wait for him because despite everything he is your dad.

The family that was supposed to be your family all along tell you that Helen cannot be your family anymore, and you have to move.

There's something still wrong with you and Helen cannot deal with it. You're an imposition to her. Max was the only thing keeping her home stable while you were there. You need someone to watch over you, not love you, love wasn't part of the equation.

Your grandmother denies there's something wrong with you and Helen, but she still won't take you in, she has someone else's child to love instead.

Your cousin still insists there is something wrong with you.

You know there is nothing wrong with you, and you think you finally get your cousin to understand and see you for the first time.

Nothing about this is fair - Helen's life isn't fair either, and you decide to help give her the life she deserves even if it breaks your heart.

You move, you lose everything again.

Like your grandmother, Wally, your cousin Jenni, your mother, and Carol, Helen has to love you from a distance.

You never lived in a house with a married couple before. They bond with you quickly and you love them, but you never forget Max and you love him from a distance.

You think your relationship with your cousin is mended but he reminds you that there is something wrong with you and it will never be fixed.

No amount of love, will ever save you, and you will always lose.

[radioactive-earthshine]

You eventually decide enough is enough, you are no longer going to accept losing as an option. You lost for the last time as Kid Flash and within you is a power that helped break reality. You are a neutron star and you've played fair long enough in a world that was unfair to you.

You find the one person who made you feel less lonely. The world is still wrong, it forgot him, but you could never. You’re glad he's back. Your friends are back too.

But there is still something wrong with you.

There will always be something wrong with you.

[chaoticdcnerd]

You always know how to crush my heart. I just want him to be loved and secure in the knowledge that there is nothing wrong with him!

[marazra]

Living with the knowledge that your favorite character peaked 30 years ago and they are never going to get back from that again...

[chaoticdcnerd]

No, I refuse to believe it!

[chaoticdcnerd]

Meta in less than two weeks!!! 🥳🥳🥳

[cannabiscomrade]

I wasn’t going to derail the disability pride month post for people with peanut allergies but in relation to that topic

I have never seen another allergy that has been so viscerally hated and mocked by people working in education like nut allergies. I’ve seen fellow teachers cringe that their classroom was the “nut free” classroom that year. Support staff that are trained and willfully don’t follow cross contamination protocol in the lunchroom because it’s too “tedious” or “time-consuming”. Full preschools + childcare centers that refuse to accommodate nut allergies. Schools where the only free lunch is a PB&J. Before/after school programs and summer programs whose food curriculum has nuts and doesn’t provide an alternative activity.

Allergy discrimination is so so insidious and prevalent. It’s happening behind their back and it is everything from the exposure joke to possibly causing someone to go into anaphylaxis from willful ignorance.

Also other parents in the classroom are guilty too. The “not my child not my problem” brain rot means that those lunchboxes are like bombs for airborne exposure allergies

[cannabiscomrade]

A woman with a severe peanut allergy says airline staff laughed at her and ignored her requests when she tried to fly to Costa Rica

A 22-year-old woman said Lufthansa staffers were not sympathetic to her condition when she tried to explain her life-threatening peanut alle

I was not downplaying this. The stigma is real, and people are 100% willing to let people with allergies die.

This woman was laughed at for asking for allergy accommodations at multiple points in her trip, and was denied to the point that she was practically told she’d be refused care in the event of anaphylaxis.

[bethany-sensei]

I work in healthcare. I cannot get my coworkers to consistently change their gloves after handling a PBJ. They literally do not think of it, and I don’t understand why. I also don’t know how to make it stick in their brains that this is a thing they need to do.

[trixree]

I grew up in the early 2000s with severe allergies to not just peanuts, but ALL nuts as well as beef, pork, shelfish, seeds, kiwi, and some food dyes. The resistance that my family faced from educators in the early 2000s is frankly bananas, not to mention the shit other parents and kids got up to.

When my mom tried to enroll me in preschool, the school principal refused any basic accommodations like asking everyone to wash their hands after lunch before re-entering the classroom, not bringing straight up peanuts to snack time, etc. There was no such thing as a nut free classroom at the time. The principal told my mom and me (I was 4 at the time and definitely in the room when this happened) “if she’s so sick, she belongs in a bubble, not at school.” THE FUCKING PRINCIPAL! My mom had to threaten legal action under the ADA to get them to comply.

Look, I was on a 504 accommodation plan under the ADA for the entirety of my formative education (elementary thru high school). That’s all 12 years!!! And yet I have had teachers hand me items I’m allergic to as a “reward”. I have had other kids intentionally try to send me into anaphylaxis. One girl in 3rd grade asked me why I “wasn’t dead yet” when she had put on a lotion with almonds in it and then held my hand. I’ve had other parents write letters to the school saying what a terrible inconvenience it was to them to not be able to send their kiddo to school with PB&J, demanding I be Removed to a special education only class if my “needs” were such a “burden” to others. During elementary school “parties” held in the classroom on holidays and for student birthdays, I was always sent to sit out in the hallway or go to the library, because even though parents were only supposed to bring safe foods into the room (they had a list of all my allergies) they never once got it right. Administrators fought me tooth and nail for the right to carry my epi pen and other meds on my person at all times. Why they thought I would start dealing benadryl on the playground, I do not know. At lunch, I was always sat at a specific segregated table labeled the “Nut Free Table” alone because who the fuck is going to sit there with the literally segregated outcast? But ONCE notably I was sat on one side of a line of blue masking tape down the table top with the rest of my class on the other. One side was the NUTS side!!! As if allergens would respect that tape barrier. (Spoiler alert: they do NOT!)

Literally from preschool to my senior year of high school, I was “the peanut kid”. Other parents gave my mom books about how to “cure your child’s food allergies from HOME” by micro dosing with things they are allergic to (please never ever ever even attempt anything like a food challenge with a known allergen outside of the care and supervision of a medical professional, holy shit that’s so dangerous). My mom joined the PTA in my last year of high school so that I could maybe participate in all the senior-focused events like pool parties and breakfast at school on the first Friday of the month. The number of times another parent either (a) decided it wasn’t worth it to care or (b) intentionally brought peanut products to an event to spite either me or my mom??? I literally could not count. It happened constantly.

College was better, but I still occasionally had people BALK when I asked them to please not eat a Nature Valley bar with whole nuts in it right the fuck next to me in lecture, thanks. Work parties and catered lunches were always impossible. A few conferences I went to as an undergrad were SUPPOSED to be nut-free, but always fucked up the catering. At one, they set up snack tables by every exit of the conference auditorium so that when people left after the talk, they all congregated around the exits and opened macadamia nut cookies and granola bars. When I had subsequently had a massive allergic reaction and needed help getting home (I’d walked) after taking like 200mg of benadryl, the staff offered me a stack of napkins and a lukewarm apology.

Food allergy is a disability which touches literally every aspect of a person’s life. Everytime I share with someone new about what it was like growing up with my allergies, they have never heard anything like it in their lives. They’re always like “holy shit, seriously??? People did that??? Kids tried to kill you??? Parents wanted you kicked out of the classroom????” Yeah, man. Yeah. My own brother (who doesn’t have any allergies at all) doesn’t understand why I don’t “eat more adventurously” and why I won’t travel internationally. So, saying it REALLY LOUDLY for people in the back:

FOOD ALLERGY IS A DISABILITY FOR WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO ACCESS ACCOMMODATIONS AND HAVE THEM TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

[gaywitchybitch]

For any Black Trans/LGBT+ who needs some help!! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤

[sharkcloset]

THATS MY BESTIE!! Ery is amazing and i can 100% vouch for them/their services! They were a long time user on here before the fucking cops (tumblr admin) nuked their account in the Black blogger purge. Definitely reach out to Ery if you need help!!

[starcrossedconverse]

theres so few parts of her character that weren't written in a racist way. like her name is a pun about needing to fight, as one of two significant black characters in the run. the other being her father, who's name is also a pun with his partner "fite n maad" which. considering how black people are often associated with violence more in real life, which results in disproportionate incarceration rates for one, is. not great.

[lesbianadhdchaos]

petition for a disability pride flag on the like button when there are disability tags

[didiwithdiscourse]

It’s genuinely so gross how common the phenomenon of dark skinned characters being whitewashed in order to be depicted as soft/innocent/feminine is.