brain: do you have your wallet?
me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*
me: yeah

Origami Around
DEAR READER
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

PR's Tumblrdome
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
YOU ARE THE REASON

shark vs the universe

if i look back, i am lost
NASA
Claire Keane

No title available
taylor price
wallacepolsom
sheepfilms

blake kathryn

JVL
No title available
almost home

tannertan36
One Nice Bug Per Day

seen from United States
seen from Saudi Arabia

seen from T1
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy

seen from Malaysia

seen from T1

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Sweden
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
@audratheodd
brain: do you have your wallet?
me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*
me: yeah
“You didn’t think you had to cook noodles”
This is how lesbian arguments usually play out
#‘you’re not in trouble you’re my wife’ just cleared my skin and watered my crops and murdered woody allen
THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO
owls are bullshit and here’s why
@dubydoods
this is what an owl looks like without feathers
look at it.
its like it came from the labyrinth.
thanks! i hate it
Nancy Wake, who has died in London just before her 99th birthday, was a New Zealander brought up in Australia. She became a nurse, a journalist who interviewed Adolf Hitler, a wealthy French socialite, a British agent and a French resistance leader. She led 7,000 guerrilla fighters in battles against the Nazis in the northern Auvergne, just before the D-Day landings in 1944. On one occasion, she strangled an SS sentry with her bare hands. On another, she cycled 500 miles to replace lost codes. In June 1944, she led her fighters in an attack on the Gestapo headquarters at Montlucon in central France. Ms Wake was furious the TV series [later made about her life] suggested she had had a love affair with one of her fellow fighters. She was too busy killing Nazis for amorous entanglements, she said. Nancy recalled later in life that her parachute had snagged in a tree. The French resistance fighter who freed her said he wished all trees bore “such beautiful fruit.” Nancy retorted: “Don’t give me that French shit.”
“Resistance heroine who led 7,000 men against the Nazis,” The Independent. (via madelinecoleman)
“strangled an SS sentry with her bare hands”
“too busy killing Nazis for amorous entanglements”
“don’t give me that French shit.”
(via snarlfurillo)
my biggest insecurity is that i cant cartwheel. what do i do when im full with glee? just fuckin stand there, it haunts me everyday
Yass fuck it up Skeletor!
i was about to be mad at the comment above me bc i thought they were calling one of the girls skeletor
i was wrong
Ok I see you
and i'm proud of y'all
an interesting development…
good character development like this is so hard to find these days
me when i gotta help my secretive friends
This still fucking cracks me up
The next time someone rudely asks me “so… what are you?” as a way of trying to figure out my race, I’m gonna answer as nervously as possible with “hahah ahah ahaha… human? liKE YOU?” and then walk about 3 feet away from them before stage whispering into my watch “I fear the humans are beginning to catch on. I believe it’s now time to proceed with Plan E.”
What amuses me is the Plan E part. That means several other plans have failed. You are a terrible secret agent.
[sweats and whispers into watch] “They’re definitely onto us.”
we must remember that
always at a family friends house for their kids and the sand was always filthy
we swam in this
I LOVE THIS
who fucking litters. why do i ever see litter. who thinks that’s okay. who. who NEEDS to throw their fast food bag out the fucking window instead of waiting until they get somewhere with a trashcan. what kinda clown behavior. get fucked.