Would you move away from Perfection Valley if you had the option?
That’s the plan, darlin’. Once I make enough profit from the saloon, I plan on selling it and using the money to go back to Vegas - but if I’m being honest, nobody’s seemed interested enough in buying it off of me. Hopefully I’ll only be in Perfection for another year – maybe two, tops. ‘Course, I love the people I’ve met here, but it isn’t exactly the best spot for a city girl like me.
Are you afraid of sharks?
I wasn’t until they started being hurled at my saloon at fifty miles an hour. Matter of fact, I used to think sharks were pretty cool – and in the Vegas casinos, shark means a totally different thing than a fish that wants to eat you. Anyway, yeah, I guess you could say that now I’m not the biggest fans of the things. I definitely wouldn’t have any problem killing one if it was trying to hurt me.
Do you have plans to hunker down somewhere?
Well, the saloon’s got a pretty awesome cellar that I’ve been staying in. Got food, water, all the liquor you can drink. It’s safer than bein’ outside, but I can’t help but worry about the upper level. I hope this thing doesn’t get any worse, ‘cause if it tears down my saloon, I’m completely fucked.
What are your top three choices of weapons against the Sharks and why?
I’m not really a violent person, to be honest... I s’pose I’d want a shotgun for the sharks comin’ at me, but I’ve never used one. Never even been on a shooting range. It can’t be that hard, though, can it? Anyway, a shotgun is number one. Number two... a machete? Some kind of big knife. You always gotta have a big knife. And number three... Hmm, probably a chainsaw, just so I can look cool like Leatherface. They can call me Sharkface.
How many times are you out in public and have people come up and complain about or ask you questions about the weather?
Almost everyone who’s gotten a drink at the saloon has asked me what I know. It’s a shame that I know about as much as them -- I can’t tell ‘em anything. All I know is that until this shark thing is gone, everyone’s gettin’ free drinks.