Eddie V.

[aulamaxima]

The abandoned soviet rocket ship did not lead to a Denny's in Moscow after all.

[aulamaxima]

'Oh bass, o' mine, oh sing that note

The one that God forgot he wrote

The one that bathes; far deep in hell:

The backs of devils who don't feel well.'

[aulamaxima]

Completely unbeknownst to Eddie, the football was already well on its way toward careening into the back of his head. He daren't notice, for he was far too preoccupied saying good morning to the bumblebee he had befriended at last week's community water polo game.

[aulamaxima]

When he had finally moved the fridge in his kitchen to check for old hot sauce packets, Eddie could not believe his fortune. Not only was there one stale serving of Diablo sauce ready for the reaping, but there was also a tiny jazz club put on by bugs. Neat.

[aulamaxima]

"Oh, really Mr. Bubbles? You really think your fixed rate mortgage is better than this ANT?!"

[aulamaxima]

"And that one's called 'I don't remember what this one is called so that's what it's called.'"

[aulamaxima]

🍩☠️❤️

[aulamaxima]

"I'm not crying, it's this giant onion! He jabbed me with a pen when I wasn't lookin'."

[aulamaxima]

"Ey, check out how hard I can pretend to punch this punching bag."

[aulamaxima]

"Attention, moviegoers! The Royal Goose has grown tired of this film, and we will now instead be watching The Mighty Ducks!"

[aulamaxima]

"See? I AM related to this giant cat. We've got the same knuckles!"

[aulamaxima]

"I understand what you mean when you say that the TV in my room has been replaced with the head of a fully grown man, but how do I get the Seinfeld re-runs?"

[aulamaxima]

The King of All Bees was VERY particular about the construction of his new lego castle. But for the past hour, Eddie had only been allowed to stack one brick after another, piece by piece toward the sky. It was a good thing he had already rescheduled his reservation for Chili's that evening.

[aulamaxima]

"Don't worry, man. I'm not gonna touch you. I know you need your personal space."

"Then why is your hand creeping toward me?"

"What?"

"Your hand is slowly moving toward me with a grasping stance."

"Dude, you're so funny like what are you even talking about. You gotta meet my mom."

[aulamaxima]

For the first time in centuries, the two leaders of the warring toothpick tribes have agreed to kiss and make up. Though the task of keeping them on course couldn't be simpler, Eddie found himself wrought with vigilance; for one false move could plunge the world itself into another millennia of total destruction.

[aulamaxima]

Eddie V; a simple man, he walks through life without a plan.

While others in this life do chase, all Eddie needs is time and bass

And though this life does try to test, Eddie takes his time to rest

Oh, others, won’t you take his heed? Of stress and fear: he has no need

Perhaps you won’t, and that’s okay, all Eddie asks? You be okay <3

Sit back, relax, and scroll, baybee

Your eyes are blessed by EDDIE V.