SENTENCE MEME ⟶ THE GOOD PLACE / 3.04 –– 3.06 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“I have a question for you. Are you out of your damn mind?”
“Look at it from my point of view.”
“I have never been this angry in my life.”
“Don’t you even try coming back here, because when you walk through that door, I am gonna be waiting for you.”
“She farted, then she blamed it on her chair.”
“I’m sad to inform you that I am too ugly and stupid and I’m going home to my mommy.”
“I try to avoid pointless group activities.”
“The single more awful sound in the universe is that mangled opening note of your coworkers singing happy birthday.”
“I can usually guess how long to microwave food without looking at the box. I’d say that’s my main skill.”
“I am, as you might say in America, mad horny.”
“It makes me slightly uneasy to interfere in the personal life of the man that I’m secretly in love with, and a woman I admire, but if you think we should I’m not going to argue.”
“I just never expect anyone to remember me.”
“HeirBnB is an app for heirs and heiresses where they swap mansions, private islands, blimp hangars, that sort of thing.”
“God forbid there’s a single day where I’m the special one.”
“Is that why you came out here? To scold me about the metric system?”
“I saw you hiding behind a plant, and I got concerned. But then you lashed out at me again, so I’m gonna take off and leave you here with dirty leaves in your hair.”
“I don’t specialize in temper tantrums.”
“I joined the Girl Scouts under a fake name because I wanted to steal a bunch of cookies.”
“You’re scared of going back to being alone, or the other possible diagnosis is that you’re just a bit of a dick.”
“Human bodies are very poorly made. They’re mostly goo and juice.”
“My brain is melting.”
“I’m glad this whole thing happened, because now I can go back to living my life the way I used to, only caring about myself because being good is pointless.”
“I will literally see all of you in hell.”
“I have always been held captive by my desire for attention.”
“I was just trying to sell you some drugs and you made it weird.”
“I could have gone to a real doctor instead of pretending to be a big dog so I could go to the vet.”
“Alright, nerd. You want to learn something? I’ll teach you something.”
“The world is empty. There is no point to anything, and you’re just gonna die.”
“That’s insane, but it’s also the 11th most insane thing to happen today, so who cares.”
“Anything she left in your apartment now legally belongs to you.”
“He created a sport that was a cross between dodgeball and horseshoes and everybody died.”
“Are you a cop? Because if you are you have to tell me, and you’re not allowed to arrest me for anything you saw before I knew you were a cop.”
“Why is is that every time a new thing is invented, humans immediately try to use it for porn?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m dying. Because we’re all dying slowly, when you think about it.”
“I can’t believe you fell for that, you doink.”
“Perhaps this is less important, but there’s an awful lot of dog hair on the furniture and I have not seen a dog.”
“I gotta take off because I gotta go do a robbery.”
“Breakups never end with both people feeling great.”
“She’s a badass, and her world is bigger than your relationship.”
“She’s alive. She faked her own death.”
“Turns out she isn’t dead, so I need to fly back and murder her.”
