Auspicinator

words, words, words

[thebasicgal]

minimalistic fashion

[auspicinator]

I am (partially) not ashamed!

This isn't really relevant to the content of this blog. (Is this a blog?) But why else have something like this is for the pleasure of being able to admit publicly-anonymously my love for Nescafe powder developed during journeys to non-coffee drinking countries and even upon my return to one that does offer high quality coffee?

[auspicinator]

constitutionally unfit for work

I did about 45 minutes of work today. It's not much, but it's 45 more than yesterday. I think I am the reincarnation of Proust and therefore constitutionally unfit for work. 

Ha ha, you and me are both unfit for ordinary work. Does that mean you're gay? 

I'm working on it. Well actually Proust lamented that he wished he could become a woman so that he could be with men. That's me! His wish. 

I think you are like me. Your male female--polarity switches. 

**It becomes obvious that the definition of *work* is very important here since writing a gigantic novels and reams of correspondence could qualify as work. 

[auspicinator]

Very Pink!

What color are the nails now? 

Well they always use funny names for nail polish. On my fingernails, I have "flirt" and on my toenails, "the lace is on." 

Hmmm. (looks at nails) very pink! 

I see purple. You say hello and I say goodbye. No, wait. You say hallo and I say jewelry. 

You say jewelry and I say meenakari! 

You say meenakari and I say Rajasthani! 

You say Rajasthani and I say Bakharkhani! (That wasn't too relevant, but I believe that's a form of bread they eat in Rajasthan area.) 

Dude, really, from jewelry to bread? New game! 

:( 

[auspicinator]

Annicca

O:           I feel so alone in this world. Will that ever end?

A:            Things change.

[auspicinator]

That is to say, we're playing a game that defies the nature of the universe. And that's why it's funny.

I’m at work, processing paperwork. You? 

I’m on my way to work! I’ll you about it later if we make money. 

Oooh. Can I hear about it either way? 

You know me. Can I keep my mouth shut? It involves zero paperwork. 

Mmm. Is it outside? 

Yes! 

Does it involve yoga?

No! Twenty questions. Eighteen left. 

Does it count as manual labor? 

Yes. 

Does it involve agriculture? 

Technically, no. 

Are you building something? 

No.

Are you creating something that will be sold? 

No. 

I’m stumped, ha ha. 

You still have a few left. Take your time. That’s the beauty of the game. 

I hate this game. Are you interacting with people? 

Yes. 

Are you teaching in some capacity? 

No. But isn’t it funny how it seems so illogical and impossible and then when you get the answer, it all comes together? No teaching. 

Funny is one word for it. Is this something Hawai’i specific, or could you do this anywhere? 

That’s two questions. Where’s the referee? No, you couldn’t do this anywhere. 

I guess you’re the referee. Does it involve tourists? 

It can involve tourists. Twenty questions is the perfect metaphor for the non-dualistic nature of the universe. The yes-no question seems so simple, so black and white, and yet there is a recurring temptation to provide explanation in the answer because the universe is actually in gray scale. That is to say, we're playing a game that defies the nature of the universe. And that's why it's funny. 

[auspicinator]

Whereas I can't imagine it because I DO know

Let's put it this way:  can you imagine Nicholas Sparks and Vladimir Nabokov writing a novel together? 

My guess is you can't imagine it because you don't know of their work, whereas I can't imagine it because I DO know about their work. Therein lies the difference. 

[Disclaimer:  I've never actually read anything by Nicholas Sparks, though someone tried to make me by way of gifts and suggestions, all of which went unused.] 

[auspicinator]

Your body loves you. That is simple. You must love your body. That is difficult. 

YLSD

[auspicinator]

Thank God you were keeping score!

I want to live in Hawai'i forever. 

Does that mean we have to play backgammon over the phone? 

I guess so. 

Story of my life. 

You've been playing backgammon over the phone all your life. But you know it's dangerous to play with me because I only have to win a couple more games and the.... :) 

A couple??

Yeah, I have a tally, remember? We were playing best of 31. So I only need 16. 

Am I allowed to read books now? 

The safest is probably for you to never play backgammon with me again. But what's that signature at the end of your email about? 

About living life fast and full of mistakes? 

Yep. And playing reckless backgammon with a near pro for high stakes. 

I think that pro knows that I seldom play my cards right. 

Oh well, it's only a game. And no one can really win. 

What is only a game? Life?

By the way, what's our backgammon score so far? 

I've won 13. You've won 3. Best of 31. 

Thank God you were keeping score! I could never have kept such an accurate record! 

[auspicinator]

But 

I meant ... hi! 

But! 

So? 

Hello

[auspicinator]

Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone somewhere might be happy.

Salman Rushdie said something like that.

[auspicinator]

You remember when that guy told the room, "O's ass is the truth!" That just crossed my mind. 

One tends to remember when one's ass is called out in front of a room of people. And then when one's friends repeat it for months. 

[auspicinator]

That's no problem. I think I'd travel halfway around the world to drink tea in your company. 

[auspicinator]

How do I escape this?

People's intentions are finally crystallizing into clarity before me. I see people. It's sad in some ways. I see what people want from me, and I feel used. And I guess I make others feel the same. How do I escape this? 

Non-attachment. 

Good point. 

But I feel attached to you. You're different. I want to reach new heights! 

Annicha. 

I want to live radically! Am I capable? 

You are, but beware. 

Beware what? 

You cannot serve two masters. Goenka is a good teacher. I love him very much. 

What to beware? 

You beware of WANT!!! 

[auspicinator]

HELP

do not ever try to help when you are your self a lost hap less wander ing soul. you can only make it worse. 

__________________ 

you are helping the planet when you ask that question with sincerity and love. how can i help the planet. always ask that question. there is no other question. 

__________________ 

GIVE THE PICTURE YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE. JESUS SAYS. 

[auspicinator]

The best love story of my life began with a man who had no job, no place ot live, and no car. He did have a phone. And in time, he got all those things. And then lost them again. 

[auspicinator]

I promise not to get my heart broken by anyone who is not worthy of the task! I can't really outright promise not to get my heart broken because I am human after all (really) and sometimes I do it to myself. 

____________ 

And if nothing else, I'm glad I watched that movie so that that strange memory of Archangel Edward cleaning my ear with a q-tip could resurface. I wonder what kind of games it was playing my subconscious all that time.