This is a continuation of the talks that I have with some of the people I have encountered in the shelter. I always heard some of these stories on newsmagazines, but hearing them from people I am in contact with everyday is mind boggling. I had decided to take make lemonade out of lemons and continued to delve deeper into the life of these people.
This is Sarah’s story. She was among the first guests I became acquainted with when I arrived.
I wanted her to feel comfortable sharing her story with me. She advised that everyone knew her story anyway and was cool sharing it with me. I allowed her to speak freely. I started with the first question and she took over.
Me: Tell me about yourself.
Sarah: I came from a middle class family. My father was an alcoholic and an attorney. I acted out a lot due to my abusive home life. I did not get along with my father.
Me: Tell me about your family
Sarah: My siblings were the overachievers(her brother went to Notre Dame). My brother is a doctor and my sister is a nurse, but she needed someone to tell her what to do.
She and her siblings took positions of power as they did not have it as kids.
Sarah went on to inform me she has ADHD and PTSD.
The following are snippets of our conversation:
A play about her life was done at her son’s school, as he he shared her story (unbeknown to her).
Sarah had problems in school, but was still able to get a bachelor’s degree in art history from the University of Alabama. Sadly, she was unable to find employment in her field which led to her becoming a stripper.
Sarah: The money was good and I had daddy issues.
She said 100% of female strippers have that problem as well. Coming from a house of domestic violence it is easy for her to transition into that life.
Not only was the money good in stripping, but she enjoyed the stroking of her ego
She did radio and television with some of it dealing with the stripping.
Sarah: I stripped for many years. Later, I would become depressed and panicked because I was getting too old to strip.
She took different jobs, such as: a bartender, a cocktail waitress, etc.
Was lost and did not know which direction to go in life.
For a time she worked at an adult bookstore where family-like bonds were formed. She was a dancer there where the female would appear behind glass and the men could pleasure themselves, but could not touch them. At one point she feared she would always be a stripper.
Sarah: I met my husband at a bar. He was a loser; a used car salesman. He was abusive, and controlling. I hated him, but did not know how to get rid of him.
He stayed at her place for five days and she was too passive aggressive to get him to leave.
Sarah: I was very obedient to men and said she was an easy mark for them. He isolated her from her family and friends. Once when we went on a road trip, I tried to get away, but discovered I was pregnant.
Not knowing she could get help from somewhere else, she ended up marrying him, but not for love…for his good insurance.
Sarah: It was a shotgun wedding at the courthouse. He controlled my entire life and would threaten to kill me regularly. He destroyed my life, but I continued to stay. He destroyed my credit. He made my life a living hell.
She was eventually able to flee with her son and went to live with her mother and step-father. Her husband would die from a heart attack ten years later, but her problems were only beginning when she moved in with her parents.
I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind, but now I see. Amazing Grace
