What's the consensus on proper prostate work? What are your tips?
Prostate massage is something that can be done internally of course, or externally, by massaging the perenium.
The most important things to remember are to relax, to breathe, and to use a lot of lubricant. Water-based lubricants are the most highly recommended, but if you are using toys, make sure that the lubricant you are using is compatible with the toys you are using.
I’d recommend exploring prostate stimulation yourself first, if you are able/are someone with a prostate. And starting with outside massage may be good if you are nervous about anal stimulation.
If you are trying prostate stimulation with a partner, open communication is the most important. Having a safeword (in case anyone in question is uncomfortable but is afraid to ask to stop) is useful, as well as having a nonverbal cue.
It is important to GO SLOWLY, especially when you are dealing with insertion. Prostate stimulation and/or any sort of anal sex SHOULD NOT BE PAINFUL. If anything hurts or is uncomfortable, it is likely that you need more lube, and that you are going too fast.
Be sure to check in with a partner to see if they are comfortable and if what you are doing feels good. If anything is wrong, slow down, stop, or take it down a notch until you can work your way up to your desired depth.
MASSAGING THE PROSTATE VIA THE PERENIUM:
The prostate is located behind the perenium and can be stimulated externally.
I tend to treat the perenium as I would a cunt insofar as massage, using the middle and ring fingers to rub and apply pressure. It’s kind of like a fingering-hand-job for that area. Those are the kinds of motions you should be going for. Using lubricant is good, though light massaging without lubricant should also be fine. And if you/your partner are comfortable, this can extend to include stimulating the anus some as well.
Rubbing and applying pressure at a slow to medium pace is what I would recommend for this.
MASSAGING THE PROSTATE VIA DIGITAL INSERTION:
It is best that you/your partner use the bathroom beforehand so they are comfortable. Some people prefer to have a bowel movement first to ensure that their rectum is clear, and many people like to take a hot shower or bath beforehand.
Showering or bathing can reassure you as to your cleanliness (if that is a concern) and it is also relaxing.
Massaging yourself/your partner to help (them) relax and beginning with foreplay and slow, gentle touching is what I would recommend. You want to be relaxed, conscious of your body, and comfortable.
Make sure your nails are trimmed and that there are no sharp edges that could cause injury (small scratches are dangerous as they could become infected).Make sure your hands are clean. Using sterile latex gloves as well is good (though I do not always follow this rule for myself) Apply lubricant to the anus as well as to the fingertips and begin by gently stimulating the anus. Though a smaller finger would be easier to insert, the index,middle, and ring fingers have the best range of motion. The middle finger is the best placed to use, but it also depends on your position.
If you/your partner are comfortable, you will feel the anus relax after being gently stimulated.
Keep massaging, slowly, in a circular motion, adding pressure as you go. Add lubricant as necessary.
As you continue to massage, your finger will work its way in gradually, and you can add a slight back-and-forth penetrative movement to your finger’s movement. Do not go too fast or you will hurt yourself or your partner.
For massaging the prostate, you only need to insert your finger a little past the first knuckle. The prostate is located on the anterior wall of the rectum, and is located at the base of the bladder, surrounding the urethra. It should be about the size of a walnut.
To stimulate the prostate, you should move your finger in a come hither motion, aiming towards the bellybutton, or use circular movements to massage it. Stroking or rubbing is best. Poking is not what you want to go for.
The most important things to remember are to use a lot of lubricant, to take your time, and to be patient in finding out what pace and depth and angle is best for you. It’s generally in the same place, anatomically speaking, but that doesn’t mean that everyone will like the same things.
If you’re exploring with a partner, you HAVE to communicate as you are doing things— ask if different motions feel good, if you are going too fast, if you should go slightly faster, if you’re in a little too far, or if what you’re doing hurts, etc.
I’ve had a sexual encounter ruined by a partner not letting up some or stopping when it was too much, and I was hurt (and was bleeding), so please TAKE YOUR TIME. Use a LOT of lubricant. And if you go slowly, you can go deeper, or further, or faster, but you have to be relaxed FIRST. For prostate massage, it is less of an issue, because your finger, at some point, will be suctioned in (for lack of a better way of saying it), and you won’t have to push to enter, or go very far in. You should go slowly, and pay careful attention to what feels good and what doesn’t, so that you know some of what to do next time.
Swiss Navy is a good lubricant, as is Astroglide. If I use more lubricant in the future, I’ll have to review it. They make numbing lubricants, but I would NOT recommend that, as you can hurt yourself very easily if you can’t feel your limits or if something is wrong.
Good luck, and if you have any more questions, I’ll help in any way I am able!
janainaart
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