[automaticjoy]

daddy took me to disneyland and yes i had to trade my butt for it. stfu

[kynvillingur-deactivated2026021]

me and the mutuals

[entierradefrikis]

[mitski-miyawakis]

when moses returned from the mountain with the stone tablets with the 10 commandments and saw the people worshipping the golden calf

[horsefigureoftheday]

Toy Major Trading Co. Rubber Unicorn (2013)

[tixij]

[ip2lb]

Steve Harvey, walking forward: [audience cheering and clapping] YES!!! KILL!!!!!! [board changes, with a ding, to reveal the word “KILL”]

[cinnamonswan]

[anelimjolie]

Just Jesse being a kid of divorced bald men

[greenscircus]

eat my wings to keep me tame

[jesse-pinko]

A day in the life of Walter White wake up in your tighty-whities lie to your pregnant wife. Make sure the lie is completely ludicrous and easily disproven so she knows how little you respect her. Ignore your son. Break into the house of your former student/surrogate son/mistress and launch a series of personal attacks against his character until he agrees to do something for you that will leave him with lasting psychological trauma and probably result in his relapsing. Kill one of his loved ones for good measure. Cook meth. Make flailing Donald Trump hand gestures so that people think you are feeling real human emotions. Cry over the loss of your virility. Throw a live grenade into a children’s hospital or something idk. Go home and lie to your lovely wife some more then throw a bitch fit because she didn’t cook you dinner. Make passive aggressive bedroom eyes at your brother-in-law. Go to bed and get some rest. Tomorrow is another big day.

[fairycosmos]

being in your 20s is like im 17 and i don't know who i am. im 55 curled up with a book. im ancient. i've been here forever. i never left. i'm 5 years old and i'm lost at the supermarket

[midiport]

me when i have to work at the job i applied for

[neenarchive]

(through gritted teeth) i love being out of my comfort zone it is necessary for my personal development

[feral-ballad]

Blythe Baird, from If My Body Could Speak; “Concerns from a hot-boxed jeep”

[Text ID: “How do I stop / carrying everything / that had ever / happened to me?”]

[cyarikah]

I think this was the last thing y’all expected from my Donowitz obsessed ass.

[plumknodel]

[howdoichangethis-deactivated202]

shut up im MLM fuck you

[parteyrockin]

meow?

[memorycycle]

hey. dont cry. 1 million puppies on earth ok?

[sarakipin]

🔹🔷 cat and mouse 🔷🔹