Shit My Parents Said While Watching Avatar
So I watched Avatar: The Last Airbender with my parents last summer, and their reactions were wild.
(This got pretty long so I’m leaving it under a cut.)
My Dad’s reaction to seeing Aang’s eyes light up in the iceberg was “look, it’s the Buddha!”
Dad thought Zuko’s scar was a black eye
Dad called Zuko “Scar,” “Scarface,” and “Black Eye Boy” even after I told him it was ableist. (My parents think ableism is an idea I made up.)
Dad compared the characters to Speed Racer (which was the only other anime he had seen)
Mom rooted for Zhao during his Agni Kai with Zuko because she hated Zuko so much.
Dad repeatedly called the show anime.
During “The Winter Solstice, Part 1” when Zuko is torn between going after the Avatar and saving his uncle, Dad preemptively declared that “Uncle is toast” and then was surprised when Zuko actually went to save Iroh.
Upon hearing about Avatar Roku: “Is this the same Roku we’re watching the show on?”
Dad compared Jet to Robin Hood and then (afterwards) claimed he knew all along that Jet was bad because “Robin Hood was a thief”
Referring to Fire Lord Ozai verbatim as “what’s-his-name’s dad” and further assuming that Ozai had died prior to the events of the story.
Dad figured out the twist halfway through the “Blue Spirit” episode but was thwarted by the fact that he didn’t know any character names. Instead he shouted “It’s THAT GUY!” at the TV and Mom was still shocked in the end.
Mom hated June’s shirshu for hurting Appa.
Mom and Dad hated Sokka and mocked him constantly as being annoying.
Mom argued that Katara fighting Pakku was “disrespectful” to the NWT’s culture.
Dad mocked the idea that any characters would die on the show one episode before the Season 1 Finale.
During the Koh scene: “I don’t want to watch a whole season with a faceless Avatar”
Thinking Aang could go into the Avatar State at will.
Interrupting Zuko’s monologue with the question “have we met his sister yet?” because Dad apparently wasn’t paying enough attention to know that we had not.
Yelling at Zuko and saying he deserves to be captured because he believed Azula when she said he could go home.
Dad theorized that the singing nomads were drug users and then mocked the “Secret Tunnel” song.
Upon the appearence of ostrich horses, Dad declared that his suspension of disbelief was forever shattered. (“What is that?” “It’s an ostrich horse.” “Those aren’t real.” “…This is a fantasy show.”)
When asked if the ostrich horses had eclipsed Momo as Dad’s least favorite character, he said that he hated them equally and that they should fight one another.
“Cave of Two Lovers is complete filler.” Taken further when Dad claimed “Return to Omashu” was filler.
Mom recommended that Dad use Danny Zuko from Grease to remember Zuko’s name.
Dad discovering online about the Film That Didn’t Exist and suggesting we watch it. When I told him it was bad, he retorted that it was likely better than the show.
During the Swamp Episode: “You people should COMMUNICATE!” —Mom
When Katara sees a vision of Kya, Mom asked why the swamp was so mean.
Dad thought Zuko’s scar was getting bigger.
Mom was basically the epitome of the Azula Stans’ strawman of an “Azula anti”. She genuinely did believe that Azula was “born evil” and a “psycho” who “deserved to die”. She may or may not have cheered during the breakdown.
Dad during Zuko Alone: “…huh, I guess Azula was the mean sibling” like this never occured to him before.
Mom shamed Appa for falling asleep flying when he once flew all night in “The Waterbending Master”
Dad, still fixated on the hybrid animals, asked if the show took place in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with mutations.
Disliking Sokka for taking books from the library without permission.
Mom said that Sokka never uses his brain.
Dad said it was unrealistic for Sokka to be smart in some ways and not smart in others.
When Iroh sat down to play Pai Sho in “The Desert”, Mom assumed it would be unimportant to the plot and chose that moment to go to the bathroom.
Dad celebrated when Momo was stolen by the buzzard wasp and complained when Aang went to rescue him.
Mom called Aang a “crybaby” in “The Serpent’s Pass”…an episode where he is literally repressing his emotions.
Suggesting that Yin and Than name their baby Appa.
During “City of Walls and Secrets”: “I don’t like this place, it’s creepy.”
Dad: Does Appa die? | Mom: I sure hope not. | Dad: Maybe Momo dies. That would be great.
Expressing shock at the idea that Aang shaves and is not naturally bald.
(During Iroh’s tale.) “Where’s his sidekick? [Zuko]” “Probably up to no good.”
Mom was unable to hear Zuko saying his date with Jin was nice because she was too busy talking about what an ungrateful brat Zuko was.
Dad went into conniptions when the placard for “Momo’s Tale” appeared.
Dad accused Momo of secretly hiding Appa from everybody for evil purposes.
During “Appa’s Lost Days,” Dad repeatedly suggested that Appa become a carnivore and/or attack people with his teeth.
When I tried to get Mom to sympathize with Aang by bringing up our dog, she said that our dog would “never let himself get captured so easily” and other lines victim-blaming Appa for being captured.
Dad noticed that the amount of food given to Appa should not be enough to sustain him and thus accused the other characters of purposefully starving him.
Dad called “Appa’s Lost Days” a filler episode. Mom retorted: “You’re just jealous you don’t have an Appa.”
“I’m glad they made his sister worse or I would really hate [Zuko]” as though Mom doesn’t hate Zuko already.
Critiquing Iroh’s decision to get a tea shop in the upper ring because he should be flying under the radar.
Dad lamenting loss of the Blue Spirit mask because “it looked cool”
Assuming everything would be all right when Katara moved to heal Jet.
At the end of “The Earth King,” Mom called Azula a witch. During the Season 2 Finale, she called her a bitch.
Dad suggested that Zuko should scar the other side of his face so it’s “symmetrical.” (Dad was really grossly ableist to Zuko the entire show; it was not fun.)
During “The Earth King,” when Zuko is sweating out his fever, Mom brings up how this is an accurate depiction of fever treatment and that Dad does the same thing.
Dad complained that the chakra blocked by shame was a “repeat” of the chakra blocked by guilt.
Mom assumed that Zuko’s super nice and calm phase was really a sneaky manipulative plot, even though Zuko is canonically a terrible liar.
Dad’s prediction for Season 3: “PAIN.” (this turned out to be a A-Team reference, I think.)
“Ugh, gag me” in response to Mai.ko (broken clock is right twice a day I guess)
Mom watched the Fire Nation kids do the Pledge of Allegiance and immediately said “ah, this is like modern China” without even seeing the parallels.
Dad was astonished to hear Aang say that Appa had six legs (because he somehow never noticed), and asked if Appa was an insect.
Dad guessed that the Painted Lady was Azula.
Mom asked why Piandao liked Sokka so much.
For reference, my brother was undergoing an exercise regimen complete with pullups. Mom used Iroh as an example for him over dinner one day.
Dad thinking that Momo flies with his ears like Dumbo.
When Azula is sad because she thinks Ursa considered her a monster, Mom chimed in to say “Well, you are one.”
Calling Combustion Man a cyclops.
Me: Flaws make stronger characters. | Mom: I guess.
During “Nightmares and Daydreams”: “Can Appa really talk?”
Claiming the SWT can’t be inspired by the Inuit because the Inuit live in Canada which is in the north.
Thinking that Iroh was still in Ba Sing Se.
Dad said that Zuko’s redemption arc came out of nowhere.
Dad was angry that he didn’t get to see Iroh break out of jail and beat people up.
Dad: “The artists changed the way Sokka looks. I almost didn’t recognize him.”
Dad: “Ozai isn’t very nice.”
Dad, disapproving of Toph’s crush on Sokka: “Nobody should have a crush on Sokka because he has no powers.”
Not picking up on any of the foreshadowing or symbolism.
“Sokka’s sense of humor is terrible” when Dad has almost the exact same sense of humor.
Thinking the original firebender must be the sun.
Dad objected to the phrase “shipping war,” saying that it was like the War on Drugs and disrespectful to victims of actual wars.
Mom criticized Team Avatar for not forgiving Zuko immediately, which was extra weird since Mom hated Zuko just one episode ago.
Mom and Dad performed a (very bad) rendition of the Dancing Dragon after watching “The Firebending Masters”.
Dad suggested that Wan Shi Tong join the war on the side of the Fire Nation.
During the Boiling Rock: Mom claimed that Sokka was always impulsive when his impulsive behavior here is meant to be out of character for him. Later Dad berated Sokka for not instantly coming up with a better plan where Zuko didn’t end up getting caught.
Mom saying “oh, snap” when Mai betrayed Azula.
When Sokka asked to borrow Momo, Dad suggested that Momo should be removed from the group.
Mom thought the play was a trap and Team Avatar was being reckless.
About “The Ember Island Players”: “This episode wasn’t funny at all.”
When Sokka accused Appa of eating Momo and was informed that he didn’t, Dad asked “Why not?”
Mom became a Zutara shipper.
