Autotelic Intimacy

A Paradigm of Authentic Connection

[autonomousintimate]

Practicing appreciating people as I appreciate trees 🌳

[autonomousintimate]

I never quite thought of it (or felt it) quite that viscerally, but this is 90% of my personal intimacy philosophy, in a nutshell (albeit without the eye stabbing or conflation of expectation and hope). Love is not transactional; it is autotelic.

(As a side note, another key distinction, in my mind: reciprocity vs. mutuality. I do not believe that desiring mutuality of loving sentiment is antithetical to autotelic love — unlike acts/expressions of “love” with the objective of eliciting reciprocity in terms of actions.)

[autonomousintimate]

If you had a spare hour, I would not want to see you. I would want you to take a break from your path and do something lovely for yourself…. whatever you have not done for yourself that you are thirsty for. Maitri. Space is love and I give that which cannot be given to but can only be taken from you.

Waylon Lewis, Things I Would Like to Do with You (I’m pretty sure that space is a love language. 💕)

[kimchicuddles]

I love the you that you are today! <3 TikvaWolf.com

[autonomousintimate]

And I don’t expect you to be the same person tomorrow. 💕💗💞

[autonomousintimate]

My vow of autotelic intimacy 🤗 (Celtic Prayer of Approach/Druid Vow of Friendship

[autonomousintimate]

Same. 💗

Authentic intimacy is the only worthwhile intimacy, and is only possible with autonomy and self-knowledge.

[autonomousintimate]

[autonomousintimate]

An end in and of itself; without agenda.

[autonomousintimate]

Anicca. Anitya. Impermanence. I believe in acknowledging and accepting the inherently dynamic nature of things such as happiness, desires, and compatibility.

[autonomousintimate]

I believe in wholehearted participation in autotelic intimate connection. Because there’s no such thing as “wasted” affinity.

[autonomousintimate]

I believe in communicating at the outset an intention of amicable (potential eventual) transition, and in honoring the connection by thinking of and relating to prior partners with appreciation and fondness, without regret.

[autonomousintimate]

Gnōthi Seauton (Greek): Know thyself. From classical Latin “nōsce tē ipsum,” after ancient Greek “γνῶθι σεαυτόν,” a phrase inscribed at the shrine of Apollo at Delphi.

A prerequisite to effectively communicating boundaries and desires, and to being seen and known.

[whimsyaficionado]

Notes to self 📝

[1000drawings]

by patricia_tarczynski

[autonomousintimate]

Always.

“Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.” - Susan David

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” - Maya Angelou

[toinfinityandswann-deactivated2]

Be present. Make love. Make tea. Avoid small talk. Embrace conversation. Buy a plant, water it. Make your bed. Make someone else’s bed. Have a smart mouth, and quick wit. Run. Make art. Create. Swim in the ocean. Swim in the rain. Take chances. Ask questions. Make mistakes. Learn. Know your worth. Love fiercely. Forgive quickly. Let go of what doesn’t make you happy. Grow.

Paulo Coelho (via toinfinityandswann)

These are my New Year’s resolutions.

(via beesmakehoney)

Word.

[autonomousintimate]

🦋💞🦋

[autonomousintimate]

Unwinding the all-too-prevalent romanticization of codependency entails distinguishing between caring and caretaking. 💕