KIMCHI CUDDLES

[kimchicuddles]

Kimchi Cuddles

“20 Years Later” I wasn't sure how to talk about this concisely, so I made a short series (Text in comments). Thanks for sharing part of thi

[kimchicuddles]

"Cherish every moment"

text reads:

When you're a first time parent, things random strangers say can feel infuriating and trite.

"They grow up so fast!"

"Cherish every moment!"

Because you're so unbelievably tired and you feel like Sisyphus doing a neverending pile of laundry while covered in poop, sweat, milk, and vomit (image rolling laundry up a hillside)

You want to punch the sweet little old ladies telling you you'll miss it one day.

But then somehow, suddenly it's 15 years later, and it really DID all go by quickly.

I wish someone could go back in time and remind me to cherish every moment in a way I could have actually heard it. 

I wish I'd somehow been able to understand what the annoying strangers were saying.

But I still have this moment to cherish.

[kimchicuddles]

Still one of my favorites! Over the years, the relational boxes I've tried to put myself in have changed dramatically, but the relief of opening them up to give myself the room of what I've grown into is similar each time...

[kimchicuddles]

Curious what your experiences with EMDR have been? Here was mine... Thank you for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads: EMDR is a form of somatic therapy that uses bilateral stimulation to access a non-linear part of the brain that is usually only active during dreams. 

This lets the brain to piece together things that aren't obviously connected, and help process things that feel too big to hold on their own.

It can be incredibly useful for treating PTSD and c-PTSD.

I used to go to sessions thinking of it as regular maintenance to manage what I thought was a lifelong condition, but at some point I just felt done. 

It felt like the actual past had been put to rest, instead of something by body was still carrying.

Almost like waking up out of a dream.

[kimchicuddles]

Throwback to one of my favorites that I actually started taking the advice of myself lol... Thank you for supporting my work, and check out all the new stuff on Patreon! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

Sometimes the people who say they love you only see the parts of you that can be consumed...

And if you insist on having a seat at the table rather than climbing onto the serving platter, they will cry out that you are starving them.

But you do not need to be digested in order to be held.

[kimchicuddles]

Lovebombing and breadcrumbing...

text reads:

The love we refer to as crumbs and bombs, that's not actually love.

True love will not starve or explode your heart.

It will create more fullness than craving,

more balance than extremes.

And it is more of a whisper than a shout,

So to find it we need to listen to the quieter moments inside our souls.

[kimchicuddles]

being "low maintenance" as a defense mechanism...

text reads:

Sometimes being "low maintenance" is a defense mechanism encouraging you to seek love by shrinking your own needs. But the people drawn to what's easy in the connection usually aren't trying to build anything real with you. They might even feel scammed if you start to ask for basic human empathy.

"Can we talk about how that made me feel?" "Wow I did NOT sign up for this"

Sadly this reinforces the belief that you'll only be loved if you don't ask for too much. 

"Maybe I'm just too needy!"

But the people trying to build with you will look for MORE ways to love you, not less.

[kimchicuddles]

"Counting the Omer" Workbook (PDF download!) | TIKVA WOLF COMICS

Get more from TIKVA WOLF COMICS on Patreon

Check out the "Counting the Omer" Workbook prototype on Patreon and follow along this year with your own reflections!

[kimchicuddles]

Been working on new downloads and packages, and doing some spring cleaning on patreon.com/kimchicuddles to make room for fun new tiers, including a "tea time chat" tier!

[kimchicuddles]

Apparently I needed to wait until the last minute to do this even though I've been planning it FOR A YEAR lol... but I'm making a meditation workbook version of last year's "counting the omer" comic series, so you'll be able to follow along for each night with your own reflections. This year is a prototype version, available only as a PDF download through patreon: patreon.com/kimchicuddles (ALL tiers, even $1/mo will have access). Everyone who downloads and follows along this year will be able to send me feedback and possibly influence the final printed version! You can join the free tier on patreon for updates... STAY TUNED!

[kimchicuddles]

Apparently I needed to wait until the last minute to do this even though I've been planning it FOR A YEAR lol... but I'm making a workbook version of last year's "counting the omer" comic series, so you'll be able to follow along for each night with your own reflections. This year is a prototype version, available only as a PDF download through patreon: patreon.com/kimchicuddles (ALL tiers, even $1/mo will have access). Everyone who downloads and follows along this year will be able to send me feedback and possibly influence the final printed version! You can join the free tier on patreon for updates... STAY TUNED!

[kimchicuddles]

Working on new downloads and packages, and doing some "spring cleaning" on patreon.com/kimchicuddles to make room for fun new tiers! Is there something you'd love to see on there that I used to do (or never did)? I'm considering bringing video content back also, because I had fun rambling at y'all while drawing lol ❤ Anyway, check it out, and stay tuned, and thank you for supporting my work!

[kimchicuddles]

Rewriting some of my favorites from the past! Here's one on emotional roller coasters... Thank you SO MUCH for your support!! https://www.patreon.com/kimchicuddles

I used to think being partnered with someone meant I was obligated to get upset whenever they got upset...

"Hey I'm getting on this emotional roller coaster...

"WELL I GUESS I'M COMING WITH YOU

But it's not actually supportive to get so wrapped up in someone else's emotions that I become ungrounded myself.

"I thought you came along to HELP ME

"THIS IS HOW I HELP

Eventually I realized that the best thing to do when a loved one is going through an intense experience is to keep my own feet on the ground.

"You coming? "No, but I'll be right here when you get back!

And from that grounded place, noticing what kinds of support I'm able to offer.

"You seem really upset. What do you need right now?

[kimchicuddles]

Soulmate recipes...

Thank you for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

We're given soulmates in the form of ingredients. 

Some go through life taking bites of one after another, and spitting them back out.

Bodies change, minds change, hearts change.

Not every moment is delicious out of the context of the whole. 

But when "soulmate" is a verb rather than a perfect meal that we're passively waiting to be fed,

That's how true love becomes nourishing.

[kimchicuddles]

I was looking for something else in the archives but came across this blast from the past inspired by Evita Lavitaloca Sawyers, and I got so distracted by reflecting on how much my experience of love's abundance has changed since then that I forgot what I was looking for in the first place! So happy that our hearts are being well fed now

[kimchicuddles]

"Running out of time"... Thank you for supporting my work! Patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

Giving birth to daughters 15 years apart is kind of like time traveling...When my first was born, I was still highly ambitious in a way that felt like I never had enough time to accomplish everything I wanted to do in life...

But the birth of the second brought a strong visceral nostalgia and a deeper understanding of the mother Theresa quote: "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family"...

And now the only time that I care about running out of is the time I have left to love my kids.

[kimchicuddles]

Relaxation vs Dissociation...

Thank you for all your support on Patreon! You can see all recent comics posted there, along with the behind the scenes process, outtakes, and other fun stuff! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

Is it relaxation or dissociation?

Dissociation is a defense mechanism, and can even be life saving,

but is not a sustainable strategy for ongoing stress.

When we are relaxing, we are HERE,

and when we are dissociating we are split apart to AVOID being here.

Relaxation is often followed by clarity, 

while dissociation is often followed by confusion, 

or even memory gaps.

To shift from dissociation to relaxation I can ask myself...

What do I feel when I put my hand on my heart and take a deep breath?

What do I notice when I flex my fingers and press my toes on the floor?