poor little girl suffering so much from almost or failed relationship. soon after, you would be on a exciting and fresh journey.
-you met a guy during a trip to LA, you stayed at his place every night before you went back (even though you have booked your own airbnb), one morning you fell asleep in his arms before heading out, one evening you went into his room noticing he lit up some candles. on the last day, you asked if he wanted to go to the airport with you, he refused. but then texted you if you got to the airport on time. you said yes, and texted back âdont miss me too muchâ. safe flight home. you missed the feeling of staying next to him
on the plane. you got his message once connected to airport wifi.
-he asked for video chats and camsex. one day, he said he booked the flight to come to see you, seven months later. you liked him, but decided to stay cool. you kept messaging. three months passed. one afternoon, he asked if you wanted to be in a long distance relationship. you said ok. you got a boyfriend and started ldr experience.
-he visited and you took him back to see your parents. your parents said âbe friends firstâ. then you visited LA, and met his family for Christmas and new year. then you two visited tokyo for cherry blossom. then you visited LA. then he visited and stayed for one month. then you visited LA. then he moved to NYC. you visited NYC after you left the job. between these trips were video chats, gifts, messages. you wanted to make sure that he felt he was loved. you knew he liked the energy and smile you have. so you showed everything to him, and learned to know him, and accepted him as he was. you felt that this is a person you could love for a long long time. you felt lucky to have each other. his mom said you changed him, because he had smiled so happily after his grandmother died until he met you. you decided that you would do you best.
-one and half month later, he texted that you two needed to have some serious discussions when he traveled with his brother and father. you were excited and hoped to have positive discussions, better you two could come to a conclusion that you would move to live with him and he would be happy about that decision, as he always claimed (âyeah just come over hereâ).
-the discussion triggered tears and angers. you were questioned about depression, transgender, having children, socialism, when you would move, whether you loved him or not. you answered. he said if we need to get married in order to keep you with me, âthen just get marriedâ âi am committedâ. you thought, oh great, efforts paid off.
-you felt neglected. you felt cut out of his life. you did not know what he was doing. you became anxious because if you two have agreed on moving in together, why you felt less connected to this person than ever? you thought you could play cute and walk through this downtime.
-he became suspicious about his feeling to you. he said he didnt feel the same about you any more, the relationship seemed so meaningless to him rn, he couldnt imagine living with you, he didnt know you at all. but he hadnât thought that he didnt need you.
-you were shocked. you cried so hard, you couldnt eat, you didnt know what to do.
-he demanded so many calls. you agreed but every time you were left with bigger confusion, âwhat did he wantâ he didnt want you to make extraordinary change just because of him. you thought if he still tried to call, he might still want to find a solution.but you were also draining your emotion and your love to him.
-one day, he called and asked you to find a solution because he had thought and got no answer. you suggested that you two should take a break and think. he asked you how much time you needed to think, would that change the reality.
-the next day, he called again and said if you two couldnt come up with a solution at that moment, he felt like its over. you were dead inside. you didnt want to talk with him anymore. you decided to walk away. you unfriended, unfollowed, untagged. you thought, this is enough.
-he texted, asked for call, âcan we at least messageâ. this time you got nothing to say so you ignored. you knew him well. he didnt want to rebuild the relationship. he wanted to be a good guy. he wanted to have a clear answer. he wanted, just for himself, to rest his own soul.
-one night, he agreed that there is nothing left between you two to say. you asked what else he wanted to tell you. he said nothing else. he wanted to have a more closure and admitted that was dumb. he said he would always think of you two fondly. you thought how this person could still only care about his own image. you told him it was over when he felt it was over. he said okay.
yep, you didnt quite miss him somehow. to you, it was a complete and full relationship.
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