Wasted Time @autumnophile - Tumblr Blog

Was feeling really disappointed until people from work finally messaged me on WhatsApp which is making me feel better. I think again I just need to keep my expectations low, but at the same time I feel like I shouldn’t have to? I know it doesn’t matter but it really makes me question whether I really have as much of an impact on people or whether I’m actually a good person if I’m so easily forgotten!

Anyway, I am grateful for my family and that I’m still in a strong relationship with josh. I realise if we get married on April 10 then we will be on our honeymoon for my 27th birthday and I probably won’t be worrying about any of this at all!!

April 19

Another year, another birthday.

Although I have a perfect day planned I still can’t help but wonder what it would be like to wake up to a billion messages from people like some people do. Sometimes I feel like every one has this but I know they don’t, and I am really grateful to be able to have the day off and I have a loving partner and I can do something I love today and spend it with mum tonight. I am grateful it is not lockdown again, although tbh it was nice to finally have a birthday where I didn’t feel like a loser for not going out because I physically couldn’t but anyway...

Birthdays are always challenging for me because of how much I compare my life to others but today I am in control for having a good day and I won’t let other people dictate how I feel if they don’t reach out to me!

autumnophile

Also boyf wasn’t at the party with me last night and this guy kept stroking my thigh and had his arm around me despite me pretty much constantly moving away and mentioning I have a boyfriend numerous times honestly it was revolting

autumnophile

And like 3 years later this same guy died of a caffeine overdose....such a weird experience...